Clay 2010/02/05(Fri)23:11 No. 126090 ID: c17fb2
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"Holy fucking-- that's a dead goddamn raptor!"

Ask Raptor where chapters 1 and 2 are.

kick it to make sure



Kick it in the ass, for obvious reasons.

Clay 2010/02/05(Fri)23:21 No. 126098 ID: c17fb2
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"Chapters? Hmm. Let me think. Oh right, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about.

And I've already kicked it. Once. It twitched. So, no more kicking. That sounds fair, right?"

THEN CUT OFF ITS HEAD AND MAKE IT INTO A GROTESQUE PUPPET! then people will notice!

>>126098
Ride it like a mechanical bull.

Then tell us what the hell is going on.

Clay 2010/02/05(Fri)23:32 No. 126119 ID: c17fb2
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"I'm sorry, ride it like a mechanical bull? Oh yeah, sure. All aboard the idiot wagon!

Argh. I have no idea what's going on. I was on my way to work. Get to the bus stop, and BAM: dead raptor.

Anything else you need to know?"

>>126119
Your name.

well..just uh..ignore it then.

>>126119
What ARE you? And what's your gender?

>>126119
Ride it like a mechanical bull.

...TO WORK.

>>126119
Are you a duck?
Where are you going?
Are dead raptors normal around here?
Are we there yet?
What's yer name?
Why is the sky blue?
Are you aware that you are hearing voices?
Are you crazy?

eat it
like a mechanical bull

Clay 2010/02/05(Fri)23:52 No. 126141 ID: c17fb2
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"...wait, you forgot this? Really? Right then. I'm Clay. I'm a guy. I'm... well, mom was Duck-kin and dad was Sparrowfolk. Mom left, I grew up, heard all the ducks-mate-for-life jokes. Moving on.

I was on my way to work. Right now, I'm trying to decide if I should even GO.

Dead raptors are DEFINITELY not normal. Hence why I'm flipping the fuck out about it. Why aren't you? You're me! Well, you're part of-- anyway. I'm aware that I'm hearing voices.

...And I am not CRAZY--"

"Um, sir?"

"FFFUCK!"

>>126141
It's not nice to swear in front of girls.

>>126141
"Sorry, you surprised me."

Clay 2010/02/06(Sat)00:13 No. 126153 ID: c17fb2
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Shi-- right, this is awkward. Finally, someone else who can see theHeyNowWaitAMinute--

"S-sorry, you surprised me. I didn't see anyone else come up and, uh--"

"Oh! Right, sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. You alright?"

"Yeeees, I think. Um."

"Alright, glad to hear it! Wouldn't happen to know when the bus is coming, would you?"

I'm not crazy. I stand by that point.

That having been said, I don't think she sees what I see. She's... standing in the raptor's NECK.

>>126153
Well that means either you're hallucinating or have some kind of weird psychic power.

Tell her when the bus is coming, if you know.

You're obviously crazy. Pluck out her eyes. Track down bus schedule.

Clay 2010/02/06(Sat)00:40 No. 126166 ID: c17fb2
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What? No, I will not pluck her eyes out. They're nice eyes. Though, that puppet idea--

"--That puppet idea sounds a bit better right about now..."

"Pardon?"

"Gah--ahem. As I was saying, the bus is about to get here. Coming right along, it is. Yep."

"Ah. Right. Well... good! Need to get work and all."

>>126166
How long have you been able to hear us? Also, get to work.

Take the raptor to a taxidermist. You know you want it in your living room.

Clay 2010/02/06(Sat)00:51 No. 126175 ID: c17fb2
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>>126169
RIGHT. Work. That. Almost forgot about that, honestly.

Also, I'm not going anywhere near that damn thing. I already said I won't kick it; what makes you think I'd drag it back to my house?

...how long? That's a decent question. Seems like forever. Can't say for sure when exactly it started. Admittedly, hard to think right now.

Because of the, you know. Raptor corpse a few feet away from me. Which is definitely there. I'm not crazy.

"Oh! Good! The bus is here."
"Hmm? Oh, right! The bus! Like I said, ah, any moment now. Got it down to science, I guess."

...is there any good way to bring up a raptor in casual conversation? I've got nothing.

Raptors are awesome. Why wouldn't you want one in your living room. o3o Ask the girl! Ask her if she'd ever wanted a stuffed raptor in her living room.

>>126176
Actually, just ask if she likes stuffed animals. Then tell her that she should get a stuffed raptor because raptors are cool.

Sanity check: tell her you think she may have just stepped in something. That's easier to dismiss as a simple mistake than "I do believe your ankles are embedded in raptor corpse."

If this fails to yield results, just catch the bus when it comes and hope not to find more corpses.

If the bus driver is a raptor, it may be time to consider taking a sick day.

Ask her on a date :V

Clay 2010/02/06(Sat)01:22 No. 126187 ID: c17fb2
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Thank GOD the bus driver wasn't a raptor. I don't really expect a bunch of raptors to pop up everywhere anyway. That'd be nice. If that's true, anyway.

Hmm... stepped in something. Of course! That's just mundane and normal enough to work!

"Excuse me, miss. I think you might've stepped on some gum back on the sidewalk...?"

"What? Damn!"

She checks her shoes over fairly thoroughly, while the bus driver WhoIsNotARaptorThankYouVeryMuch taps the steering wheel impatiently.

"Phew. Thankfully that's not the case. At any rate I didn't see anything on the sidewalk when I walked up, and--"

She seems to have just now realized that the bus driver is still waiting on her. Either that or that she's still talking to me. I'm kind of hoping for the former.

>>126187
Um, you did pay the bus driver already, is that correct?

Clay 2010/02/06(Sat)01:39 No. 126198 ID: c17fb2
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>>126190
Yes, of course I paid the bus driver. Well, I'm fairly sure. And if I didn't, then he didn't notice. Because he's a frustrated bus driver.

Not that a raptor would've noticed. I think.

Anyway. we'll see how things go when I get to work.

What IS your job anyway?

Clay 2010/02/06(Sat)01:51 No. 126203 ID: c17fb2
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>>126200
Nothing very special, far as I'm concerned. I'm a programmer. My main job is to code for a small application that simplifies all kinds of different programming languages. Boring stuff.

Ah, here we are. Erskine Instruments.

>>126203
Enter the building. And your tail is kinda cute.

>>126203
Don't freak out, fall to the ground and spasm uncontrollably.

Stop drop and roll! Stop drop and roll!

Clay 2010/02/06(Sat)02:30 No. 126235 ID: c17fb2
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...alright, guys, we've been over this. Pseudo-schizophrenic anatomical compliments: not going to work. Ever. It's just awkward.

And I'm not going to start spasming. Geez. Though, at certain times...

Going up to my floor now. I work on the sixth floor of EI, and it's a six story building. Yet they insist on having a glass elevator on the outside of the building, just to look nice.

Fuck I hate heights.

[CUTSCENE]

Clay 2010/02/06(Sat)02:31 No. 126238 ID: c17fb2
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"..."

End of Chapter Three Clay 2010/02/06(Sat)02:32 No. 126240 ID: c17fb2
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"...FUCK!"

>>126240
Salmon sounds good for dinner, doesn't it? Either that or raptor.

Oh look, it's the time-trout (or whatever fish it is), right on the dot!

Dude was that a fish?

>>126240
I've noticed that you see color when you're seeing these strange things that may possibly be hallucinations. Normally, there is no color.