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4314ed.jpg
Royal Mint Soda
4314ed
I've got some questions about how to improve a little.
I suspect that my characters seem a bit flat.
As the viewpoint character, there should probably be more of an emotional slant to the descriptions of things that matches Frankie. I'm planning on going for an eager-to-be helpful, but somewhat neurotic personality.
I figure I can achieve that, by describing his reasoning for why he does things, & inserting some emotional language there. Does that sound good?
As for other characters, I'm not quite sure how to do that.
For the Monitor, I can write in a certain voice pretty easily, but I'm not sure how well I can get a sense of pessimism across.
Similarly, I'm not quite sure what to do with Cerendi. I think part of it is that I don't have a concrete description of her personality.
I'm trying to go for a hardcore "gamer-girl" type of thing. Strong opinions on games, etc. Knows what she wants, headstrong. Friendly, but not nice/soft enough to be a mother-figure.
Maybe just writing it out here will help?
Besides that, I'm not sure about pacing (not that there's any pace to measure yet). Obviously, updating more frequently would be good, but that'll probably come with time.
Also made this quest more in-depth than I originally meant to. Not sure if that will be good or bad yet. This is my first quest, so I'm worried it'll be a bad thing.
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