strap the anti-Zamboni to the back and let's go destroy the maple tree forest.

>>210478
Watch out for mounties and lumberjacks. And Canadian snipers. Those guys are freaking crazy.

switch to lumber industry to maximize it's powers.

Mister America 2010/07/21(Wed)13:26 No. 210732 ID: 4531bc
File 127974398043.png - (131.92KB , 500x500 , a23.png )

Behold!, the JOHN DEERE ULTRA HEAVY DUTY FREEDOM DEFORESTATOR 9000 DELUX WITH OPTIONAL ANTI-ZAMBONI ATTACHMENT!

You decide that switching aspects in the heat of battle, while the room is rapidly filling with maple syrup, would not be a very American idea.

You move on to the 'Destroy The Maple Forest' phase of your GLORIOUSLY AMERICAN plan!

Mister America 2010/07/21(Wed)13:27 No. 210734 ID: 4531bc
File 127974406351.png - (103.61KB , 500x500 , a24-1.png )

Wait, what happened to your attic!? it us-UFGHGLBGLUBGLUBGLUB

Mister America 2010/07/21(Wed)13:38 No. 210738 ID: 4531bc
File 127974472312.png - (146.74KB , 500x500 , a25.png )

"Oi! Carter!"
"Wha' is it, Nate?"
"What be this thing right here, Carter?"
"Haven't a clue, Nate"
"Look to me like one o' 'dem chainsaw things. , Eh, Carter? Whaddya think?"
"Told ya', I haven't a clue!"
"'Course you haven't a clue! yer' all tha' way on the far side of this here lot! Get yer' lousy ass over here and take a look a- Hey! It stopped! Wonder why it did that. You know, Nate?"
"If it is one'a'dem chainsaw things, is prolly tha' sap messin' wid' its gear things! That's my conjecture, 'tleast!"
"Hey, Carter! Carter! There's little guy down there! Hello there, little guy! What 're you doing here?"

DAMN YOU CANADAAAAAA

use the flame thrower, the heat will make the sap runny.

>>210738
Damn, the plan has hit an unforeseen snag. Quick, start a forrest fire!

Mister America 2010/07/21(Wed)14:38 No. 210752 ID: 4531bc
File 127974832992.png - (154.52KB , 500x500 , a26.png )

American news: The flamethrower still works, everything's on fire new.

Bad news: EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE NOW!!!

>>210752
True, that is a slight problem. Quickly evacute the premises to make sure you don't burn to death.

Fire is fine so long as your mech is fire resistant. MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

Mister America 2010/07/21(Wed)18:43 No. 210806 ID: 4531bc
File 127976302274.png - (117.72KB , 500x500 , a27-diagram.png )

I was informed that the situation was getting a little confusing. Thus, a helpful diagram!

You are in the lower room of your house. The maple syrup is being dispensed from a forest of trees that have spontaneously appeared in your attic. Those pesky Canadians!

Mister America 2010/07/21(Wed)18:46 No. 210807 ID: 4531bc
File 127976320589.png - (44.73KB , 500x500 , a28-diagram.png )

You JOHN DEERE ULTRA HEAVY DUTY FREEDOM DEFORESTATOR 9000 DELUX WITH OPTIONAL ANTI-ZAMBONI ATTACHMENT is floating in about 4 feet of maple syrup.

That, plus the fact that maple syrup makes a terrible lubricant, has rendered all the mechanical joints in your contraption non-functional. This does not affect you or the anti-Zamboni. The joints may be repaired. The device also may be further modified.

These are just clarifications. The two previous posts still apply.

modify the driver cab to be fire immune. then make more fire.

>>210807
Modify the deforestor float on top of the maple syrup. Then set your attic on fire. The Canadians can't be allowed to win. The shame would be too much.

Suggestion 2010/08/13(Fri)12:32 No. 218063 ID: 4531bc
File 128172793599.png - (59.95KB , 500x500 , a29.png )

In a flash of PATRIOTIC INSPIRATION, you develop unique, new, patent pending product: AmeriTech FireSol Industrial-Strength Aerosol Fireproofing Solution!

The machine is protected, on to the cabin...

Mister America 2010/08/13(Fri)12:37 No. 218067 ID: 4531bc
File 128172823475.png - (156.55KB , 500x500 , a30.png )

... A few moments later, the JOHN DEERE ULTRA HEAVY DUTY FREEDOM DEFORESTATOR 9000 DELUX WITH OPTIONAL ANTI-ZAMBONI ATTACHMENT PLUS AMERITECH FIRESOL INDUSTRIAL-STRENGTH AEROSOL FIREPROOFING SOLUTION AND PROTECTIVE CABIN COVER is ready.

Shall we begin?

>>218067
Yes, BeardBeard is waiting to see our progress. Lets deforest the fuck out of that forest. We shall make the dwarven god proud of us!

Mister America 2010/08/13(Fri)13:09 No. 218085 ID: 4531bc
File 12817301878.png - (208.83KB , 500x500 , a31.png )

Burn it. Burn it all.

>>218085
FOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

Kick on the external speakers, and blast your favorite patriotic music mix at max volume as you go.

Radio America! Mister America 2010/08/13(Fri)13:23 No. 218097 ID: 4531bc
Audio 43_ServiceSongs-CoastGuard-Semper-Paratus.mp3 - (1.71MB )

>>218088

Mister America 2010/08/21(Sat)21:16 No. 220862 ID: 4531bc
File 128245060926.png - (161.52KB , 500x500 , a32.png )

"You may have burned down my house. You ma-"
>"Erm, Not to intrude, but I didn't bur-"
"YES. YES YOU DID."
>"You're the one with the flamethrower."
"Shut up, that means nothing. Anyway, as I was saying-"
>"Just so we're clear, you can't take me to court over this or anyth-"
"Will you let me finish my PATRIOTIC SPEECH or are you going to keep interrupting every other second? Chrissakes, you're a flying djinn or something, how am I even supposed to-"
>"Well, actually, the correct term is Extranational-"
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH HOLE I DON'T GIVE A DAMN. As I was saying, You may have burned down my house.You may have ruined my Killing-the-earth machine. I don't know what you're going to try and pull next, but know this, 'BeardBeard:' You will never succeed! FREEDOM WILL NEVER DIE!"

There, INCONCEIVABLY PATRIOTIC SPEECH given. Now you need to figure out exactly what you want to do about this guy. Oh wait, he's saying something.

>"...and yeah, I'm not trying to offend you or anything but I really don't like being called 'BeardBeard.' It irritates me. I hope you can respect that."

>>220862
Make a FREEDOM OF SPEECH machine to spout insults at him.

Become the very essence of American diplomacy: a crazy marine.

>>220862
Quick, make a unilateral international treaty that banishes him from american soil forever! Canucks are crazy for that diplomatic UN shit, he's bound to obey.

Mister America 2010/08/22(Sun)20:12 No. 221272 ID: 4531bc
File 128253312812.png - (89.96KB , 500x500 , a33.png )

you consider your options.

A FREEDOM OF SPEECH MACHINE would be pretty effective, but it would probably make Dr. Canada angrier. But since when has America been afraid of making people angry?

A UN RESOLUTION. Hmm, a TRUE GLIMMER of AMERICAN INTELLECT at work! If you pull this off well enough, BeardBeard is history! It's important to remember that the Canadians are very good at this legislation stuff, so you'd have to make a pretty compelling case.

Embodying the ASPECT OF THE CRAZY MARINE...
This sounds a little out of place, given the current situation, and would leave you completely exposed for a minute or so, but what does that matter when you can BLAST THAT CANADIAN BACK TO ANTARCTICA!? Actually, it till matters quite a bit.

If there aren't any objections or ideas, you think it'd be OPTIMALLY PATRIOTIC to assemble the FREEDOM OF SPEECH machine, then use your UNILATERAL INTERNATIONAL TREATY, leaving the CRAZY MARINE idea as backup.

>>221272
Sure. We can use the freedom of speech machine to manipulate him into making a mistake in anger, which would make the resolution more likely to work.

Mister America 2010/09/25(Sat)09:53 No. 233755 ID: 4531bc
File 128543358112.png - (82.72KB , 500x500 , a34.png )

"I can call you what I want! as an american, I am ensured the FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT of FREEDOM OF SPEECH! I won't allow your pansy Canadian sensitivity impinge on my god-given liberties!"
>"...what's that you're holding?"
"Ehm, I invoke my 5th Amendment rights."

*FREEDOM OF SPEECH machine acquired!*

Mister America 2010/09/25(Sat)10:03 No. 233757 ID: 4531bc
File 128543419580.png - (107.71KB , 500x500 , a35.png )

*FREEDOM OF SPEECH MACHINE is on standby, and may be triggered at any time.*

"Anyway, Professor-"
>"I'm a doctor!"
"Whatever. I have this "UN Security Council Binding Resolution" that says that you can't be here anymore. So, yeah, y'know, shoo."
>"WHAT!? What is this? How could you! BETRAYERS OF THE UNSC, YOU DARE DO THIS TO ME!? WE'LL SEE HOW Y- wait one second here, how do I know that this resolution isn't a fake?"

Oh snap.

"oh? i'll call them up right now if you want, but i don't think they will take it lightly that you questioned them. BUUUUT if you are sure you want to do that then i will." get a phone and hold your hand over the numbers.

>>233757
Because of your American Honesty and Trustworthiness, of course! Get out a stovepipe hat and everything!

Mister America 2010/10/16(Sat)17:26 No. 244364 ID: 4531bc
File 128727520743.png - (69.54KB , 500x500 , a36.png )

Sorry for my apparent incapability to update in a timely manner. Will a 5-part update make things any better? :)

"Oh? I'll call them up right now if you want, but I don't think they'll be too happy that you questioned them. BUT if you really want to, then I sure can do that!"
>"what proof do I have that you're not lying?"
"Haven't you ever heard of AMERICAN HONESTY?

*You embody the AMERICAN ASPECT of GOOD OLE-FASHIONED AMERICAN HONESTY!*

Mister America 2010/10/16(Sat)17:29 No. 244367 ID: 4531bc
File 128727535025.png - (128.43KB , 500x500 , a37.png )

>"Hmm..."
>"Well, I don't know whether to trust you, but I don't want to lose face with my buddies at the UNSC..."
>"I'm really at a loss as to what to do here..."

Mister America 2010/10/16(Sat)17:32 No. 244373 ID: 4531bc
File 128727553664.png - (175.21KB , 500x500 , a38.png )

HAHA. JUST KIDDING.

S̶̢͊̀̃̐͂̃̕h̡̑̎̓ͤͣa̷͗̊͗͐̍̕dͩ̈ͭ̾͂̓̏o̵ͧ̄̒̿͊͒̊͑̄͢ẃͫ̉̿ͨͮ̅ͮ͘͝ ̏̓͝r͊̚͘ȩͤͥͭ͠͏ą̸̿̃͛ͦlͭͪͮͭͯ͊̍ͬm̴̉̓ͬͫ͌̀̚ ̚iͧ̋̀͝͞n̆́ͯ̓͟i̶͑̓̍ͫͨ̿͂t̽̅̆͑͂̅̋̋̀͞

counter with free speech machine!
or... challenge him to a children's card game!

Mister America 2010/10/16(Sat)17:35 No. 244377 ID: 4531bc
File 128727573117.png - (3.47KB , 500x500 , a39.png )

hahahahahahaha
h̴͜͡ah͘͡͝ą̶h̛͡ah̢̀a̢h͏̵̡a҉h̴̨a͜͡͏ha̛
h̴̠̩̱͚̗̜͍͈̲̜̺́͜͢͝a̸̵̡̘̘̲͉̹͙̖̘̦̙̪͓̯̫͓̲͜͜ͅͅḩ̵͙̠̯̮͖̠̙a̢̬̹̞͈͚͜h̸́
̼͉̗͔͕͚͔̹̘̟͎̟͈͎͙͓̘̀ͅa̸̢̡̖̫͉͈̻͕̲̦̺͉̫͉̲͔͢͞h͉̻̗͔̯͎̖̲̪̻̀͢a̡͕̗̬̳̥̤͢͝
̯̺͍͔̠̭h̡̞͕̦̦̳̺̀a̴̛͍̺̜͍̖̟̗̕̕ḩ̵̸̝̱̠͉̕͡ą̗͍̻̘͘h̴̛̦̰̩̞̱͚͍͍̥͚̖̱̟͚͘
̠͓̭̘à̴͙͓̮͙̺̠̭̱̞͙̤̥̣͝

Mister America 2010/10/16(Sat)17:36 No. 244378 ID: 4531bc
File 128727578911.png - (3.19KB , 500x500 , a40.png )

Select 3 nations to support you in diplomacy

 

D̷͘͝͞í͏p̡͢͏̕l͘͡҉o̶̕m̴̧͟a̷͘͜c̴͘y̸̨̕

Umm... England, Russia, and Mexico.

France: while some may say they are weak they held the line, and gave us the statue of liberty, one of America's most prized items.

England, russia and mexico

Russia: A hero always needs their foil, right?

Russia, Japan, Italy

[Time for some LoK]

>>244378
Motherfucking france up in this house bitches.

Oh, and the Philipines and Liberia as well I guess.

We decide this match with a rousing game of mahjong.

Our first one must be Canada. That's absolutely vital.

Other than that, we should call in the EU, because that's pretty huge, and China, because they love to suck our metaphorical politicock.

>>244378
France
Russia
England

Australia, United Kingdom and Germany. Then Diplomacy via Beer drinking Contest.

England, Russia, CANADA