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File 132563198217.png - (7.82KB , 800x600 , aaa.png )
377225 No. 377225 ID: a525c4

Meet ------- and -------.

They have been a couple for two months now.

Who will we focus our narrative on?
34 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 377290 ID: e3f578

So clean it, gosh, it can't be that hard cleaning up a tomoto mess. Where are your cleaning supplies?

So is tonights dinner homemade BLTs?
>>
No. 377291 ID: f46f0d

>>377284
When will she be coming over?
>>
No. 377295 ID: c2c011

>>377284
Better clean it up then. PARKOUR STYLE!
>>
No. 377297 ID: a525c4
File 132563905558.png - (11.88KB , 800x600 , aai.png )
377297

John sure thinks that cleaning is SUCH A HASSLE. After all, it's not one of his four Hobbies. But he'll do it, if he must. Maybe even right now... If he really really must..

Tonight's dinner isn't quite decided yet. John makes a habit of always stocking his fridge with prettty much everything imaginable. Curly loves tomatoes, lately. So that's gonna be a key ingredient.

And she's gonne be here at 6 PM. One and half an hour to go.
>>
No. 377301 ID: e3f578

Bacon Lettuce Tomato sandwich
that's what's for dinner
let's move on to the bacon and lettuce, we'll continue the tomato when you're not such a klutz. Start with the lettuce as the oven pre-heats.
>>
No. 377304 ID: e152bf

>>377297
After cleaning, make chicken cacciatore with caprese salad.
>>
No. 377306 ID: f46f0d
File 132563961079.jpg - (34.39KB , 200x158 , langostinosvalencianos.jpg )
377306

>>377297
Well if she doesn't mind tomato sauce, you could cook Langostinos Velencianos in around 45 minutes leaving you with enough time to clean up.
>>
No. 377354 ID: 13d0dc

>>377306
so many this.
unless she is a freak who dissaproves of seafood, in wich case you should have an argument and slip and fall in the tomato mess.
>>
No. 377357 ID: 1b0f2f

What are you cutting tomatoes with, a mallet?
>>
No. 377405 ID: c99dc4
File 132566847921.png - (11.31KB , 800x600 , aaj.png )
377405

And done!
Langostinos Velenshichachi... RED SEAFOOD-TOMATO-SAUCE for two!
John is happy that he managed to do this really fast. This way, he can take his time cleaning the kitchen and still reheat the sauce and cook the rice just before Curly arrives, so they can have the freshest of rice.

John likes it when things are going according to plan!

Also, John has never ever cut tomatoes with a mallet. That would be ridiculous. Man.
>>
No. 377406 ID: c99dc4
File 132566852733.png - (11.41KB , 800x600 , aak.png )
377406

DING-DONG, goes the doorbell.

John did not see this coming.
>>
No. 377410 ID: 1b0f2f

I warned you about tomatoes. I TOLD YOU DAWG
>>
No. 377424 ID: c2c011

>>377406
Open the door in the most parkour dynamic way possible.
>>
No. 377432 ID: e3f578

BLT's are way quicker man
nothing wrong with fancy cooking but a woman loves spontaneity. You've should have expected this.
That, or this is your wild neighbors Jazz and Will Smith that come to hang out sometimes. Obviously. I mean, you're no square.
>>
No. 377456 ID: f46f0d

It's probably not Curly, and if it is, then she would probably understand that your not finished cooking
>>
No. 377466 ID: c99dc4
File 132569996422.png - (12.52KB , 800x600 , aal.png )
377466

John sure did know about Tomatoes. And in hindsight, Sandwiches might have prevented this, but now it's too late to cry over spilt milk.

John tosses the pot with the main dish on the counter and dashes into the livingroom.
>>
No. 377467 ID: c99dc4
File 132570005615.png - (14.98KB , 800x600 , aam.png )
377467

Since he prides himself as an adept Parkour!ist, he makes his way to the door in the most parkour! dynamic way possible.
John is glad those chairs are so GODDAMN HEAVY. Otherwise this stunt would be life-threatening.
>>
No. 377468 ID: c99dc4
File 132570013986.png - (15.12KB , 800x600 , aan.png )
377468

After a few mor ridiculous flips and jumps, John is ALSO glad that he had those convenient foot-hooks installed above the door.
Who would NOT love to be greeted by an upside down dude when the door is flung VIOLENTLY OPEN?
>>
No. 377469 ID: c99dc4
File 132570020068.png - (13.81KB , 800x600 , aao.png )
377469

Well imagine that.
It is Curly after all.
She looks very impressed. John thinks he aced this.
>>
No. 377489 ID: f46f0d

Explain to her that you're not quite done with making the food. Make sure to look extra embarrassed while saying this.
>>
No. 377490 ID: c2c011

>>377469
Offer her to come in and enjoy some drinks while you finish up a bit in the kitchen. Mix her up a wicked drink of her choice.
>>
No. 377492 ID: ed57e8

yes be embarresed and admit it isn't done yet since you were expecting her to be over a bit later.
>>
No. 377531 ID: 1b0f2f

Stare into her cavernous maw.
>>
No. 377665 ID: 517d50
File 132575775894.png - (10.65KB , 800x600 , aap.png )
377665

John has never thought about it this way. Her mouth is kinda big isn't it?

John sheepishly admits that the food is not quite done and explains, that he didn't expect her so soon.

Curly says it's okay and that she knows she's way early.
Also she says John is cute.

John says she can come in and sit in the living room. He offers her a drink, but she says no thanks. She's a boring drunk. She probably doesn't mean that, though.
>>
No. 377670 ID: e3f578

Tell her she doesn't have to get shitfaced. A buzz is pretty good too, ya know. Boring or not, shit's just there to take edge off.

Maybe she's more of a grass girl though. Is she?
>>
No. 377673 ID: c2c011

>>377665
She could have a non-alcoholic beverage then. It's not like you're trying to get her drunk and take advantage or anything. Unless that is the case, in which case you shouldn't tsay any of that last part.
>>
No. 377794 ID: 1b0f2f

>>377673

Cooking, Calligraphy, Fishing, Parkour. None of those hobbies are date rape, so... no.

>>377665

To be fair her head is vastly bigger than her mouth.
>>
No. 377858 ID: 88677f
File 132584092063.png - (14.15KB , 800x600 , aaq.png )
377858

John concedes that her head is indeed bigger than her mouth, whatever that is supposed to mean.

He tells Curly that she doesn't have to get drunk. One drink won't knock her out, after all.
Curly says that's okay, really. She came by car and since she's had her license for only about a week, she shouldn't start driving drunk now.

John offers her a nonalcoholic beverage. Curly says she would like some cherry juice, some rose hip tea or some wild berry soda or something like that.

John says you got it.
>>
No. 377859 ID: 88677f
File 132584132905.png - (11.76KB , 800x600 , aar.png )
377859

Okay, time to get busy.
>>
No. 377863 ID: c2c011

>>377859
Get her some wild berry soda and deliver in the most dyanamic parkour way possible without spilling any. Then get back in here and make a quick clean up.
>>
No. 377886 ID: f46f0d

Lets get that rice cooking and check the temperature of the sauce to make sure its at least lukewarm. The best wine to go with this type of food would be some Sauvignon Blanc but i'm not sure what wild berry soda or cherry juice tastes like. I would not recommend serving rose hip tea unless it was chilled, because personally I try not to match hot foods with hot drinks. The sodas carbonation and flavor might be too distracting in comparison to the food, and the cherry juice may be too tannic. So in my opinion, the order of prescience would be: Iced rose hip tea (if you have the time to chill it) > Berry Soda > Cherry Juice > Hot rose hip tea.
>>
No. 377888 ID: 1b0f2f

Out the window. You have some wild berries and rose hips to gather.
>>
No. 378687 ID: 01baad
File 132612676271.png - (16.15KB , 800x600 , aas.png )
378687

Speed is of the essence!
John checks the temperature of the sauce. It turns out to be still rather hot!
He parkour!s his way up to where the pots are kept and starts cooking the rice. Then, he takes a look into the fridge for something to drink.
Sadly, he has no cold tea and no time to make tea AND cool it. And since food will take a few minutes before it can be served, some wild berry soda shouldn't be a biggie. Curly can't be kept thirsty!
>>
No. 378688 ID: 01baad
File 132612684638.png - (12.27KB , 800x600 , aat.png )
378688

John makes haste with a can of wild berry soda and a glass. His awesome parkour!-skills keep the can nice and steady so it won't explode in anybody's face later.
That's not how parkour! works? John dismisses that silly thought in an instant.
So silly.
>>
No. 378689 ID: 01baad
File 132612691379.png - (14.86KB , 800x600 , aau.png )
378689

Crisis averted!
John pours Curly's drink in the manner a very snooty waiter in an expensive restaurant might.
Curly says thanks.
>>
No. 378692 ID: 0adc60

man, parkour! cooks are awesome. parkour! waiters even moreso. you should totally open a restaurant where every waiter must parkour! his or her way to the customers.

okay, now go cook the shit out of that meal.
>>
No. 378704 ID: 01baad
File 132613163544.png - (12.46KB , 800x600 , aav.png )
378704

John gets back to work.
Good. Seems like the rice is almost done.
>>
No. 378706 ID: 01baad
File 132613169603.png - (12.26KB , 800x600 , aaw.png )
378706

Time to set the table.
Dishes and sauce in hand, John begins his journey to the living room.
This is gonna be SO DELICIOUS!
>>
No. 378709 ID: 01baad
File 132613183279.png - (15.04KB , 800x600 , aax.png )
378709

Curly says she can handle setting the table. John says thanks. He'll just get the rice and be right back.

John is a little relieved that at least the plates and glass are taken care of for now. He notices that he forgot the cutlery.
Also, now is the time to settle on what to drink.
He has some white wine in the fridge, but Curly did say she didn't want any alcohol before. A true dilemma.
>>
No. 378715 ID: 0adc60

bring the food and ask if you can get her anything else to drink.

alternatively, secretly pour some booze into her juice.
>>
No. 378732 ID: 01baad
File 132613927564.png - (12.18KB , 800x600 , aay.png )
378732

Putting booze in your girlfriend's drink secretly is a nasty thing to do, thinks John.
He decides to just ask her.

John fetches some cutlery and the rice. Oh boy oh boy!
>>
No. 378733 ID: 01baad
File 132613935566.png - (15.66KB , 800x600 , aaz.png )
378733

John asks what Curly wants to dr- what in the name of all that's holy is going on here?

Curly appears to be helping herself to some of the special seafood tomato sauce stuff. John is very confused.
>>
No. 378735 ID: 453e62

apparently it is FUCKING DELICIOUS!
>>
No. 378742 ID: becb83

SHE'S HUNGRY, QUICKLY GRAB MORE FOOD
>>
No. 378788 ID: 1b0f2f

AND A SHOVEL TOO
>>
No. 378798 ID: 0adc60

AND SOME V AND SOME G
>>
No. 378799 ID: c71597

>>378733
It appears that you made the food too delicous. Curse the gods loudly for giving you such unnatural cooking skills!
>>
No. 378808 ID: f46f0d

>>378733
be careful, she may now be ADDICTED to your cocking and demand more. Approach the situation with caution, any sudden movements could trigger a violent reaction.
>>
No. 378873 ID: 0adc60
File 132617848699.jpg - (35.92KB , 579x573 , wantsmexy.jpg )
378873

>>378808

>be careful, she may now be ADDICTED to your cocking

>cocking
>>
No. 378877 ID: becb83

>>378873
could not stop laughing, you deserve a medal
>>
No. 378893 ID: 3947e9

>>378873
Who said this was a typo?
also, awesome picture!
>>
No. 378920 ID: b1d135
File 132619779764.png - (16.56KB , 800x600 , aba.png )
378920

All this is too sudden for John, so he sticks to trying not to make any sudden movements and offering Curly more food.
C-curly?, John says. Do you want more?, John asks.
>>
No. 378921 ID: b1d135
File 132619786325.png - (16.57KB , 800x600 , abb.png )
378921

Curly very slowly looks at him.
She asks if John has anything as delicious as this.
>>
No. 378922 ID: becb83

>>378921
... drop your pants and direct her gaze
"here's some hawt sausage you can try"


but seriously, give her the rice and try to see if you can chat her down from that crazy eating that she seems to have obtained
>>
No. 378923 ID: b1d135
File 132619893767.png - (17.12KB , 800x600 , abc.png )
378923

John comes a little closer and offers Curly some rice.
He says he thinks it might be delicious, too.
Curly takes a look inside the pot and says that it doesn't look very delicious to her.
John can't handle this. He asks Curly why she's acting like this.
Curly says she has an appetite. So what?
>>
No. 378925 ID: 0c713c

Has she ever done this before?
How long have you even known her?
>>
No. 378926 ID: c71597

>>378923
Just put the rice down near her and then excuse yourself to go find some towels and napkins.
>>
No. 378929 ID: e3f578

Curly, are you sick bro? It's just all that tomato looks like blood and you scarfed that shit fucking down. And it's a little crazy just how literally fast she scarfed it down. But then again, you parkour flip throughout the house like a goddamn ninja.

"Are.... are you going to eat me?"
>>
No. 378934 ID: 0adc60

what did she like about it? the tomatoes?
>>
No. 378993 ID: 1b0f2f

Wait you didn't accidentally substitute tomatoes for BLOOD OF A VIRGIN did you?
>>
No. 379026 ID: 55507c

is one of curly's hobbies vampirism

john, tell us
>>
No. 379280 ID: f46f0d

>>378923
Hmm voracious apatite eh? Curly may actually be an Obayifo, a certain type of African vampire witch who can remotely suck blood from people and travel as a ball of light. Or she could be just pregnant.
>>
No. 379733 ID: 9f7480
File 132653523275.png - (18.83KB , 800x600 , abd.png )
379733

This is certainly unusual behaviour. John has known Curly for about two months now and nothing like this has ever happened before.
John agrees that it looks like blood and very disconcerting.
John doesn't think vampirism is a possibility, though. He doesn't know all of Curly's hobbies, but he thinks they're all rather non-violent.
And vampires don't exist. John is sure of that, at least.

John sets dow the rice in front of Curly and just wants to excuse himself when curly says she doesn't want this stuff. Curly asks whether John has more the delicious stuff or not.
John says n-no?
>>
No. 379734 ID: 9f7480
File 132653526230.png - (15.84KB , 800x600 , abe.png )
379734

Curly disappears through the front door.
>>
No. 379735 ID: 9f7480
File 132653529315.png - (10.54KB , 800x600 , abf.png )
379735

This didn't go as well as John had hoped.
>>
No. 379737 ID: 0adc60

but... you still have tomatoes.
>>
No. 379738 ID: becb83

yep, we should of had sex with her
>>
No. 379759 ID: e3f578

You see what fancy, untimely dinners can do? They fuck with your girlfriend's head, that's what. Swear by Saint BLT for life right now mister.

Saint BLT, descend from the heavens and grace this young fool, please. He may give you a special, holy BLT to cleanse the evil from your girlfriend. Or we go get some new tomatoes and make a high-quality BLT then go get it blessed at a church. We have psycho girlfriend hunting to do and we're gonna jam it into her hungry, gaping maw.
>>
No. 380692 ID: faea08
File 132691771602.png - (9.20KB , 800x600 , abg.png )
380692

First Story
>>
No. 380694 ID: faea08
File 132691783309.png - (15.08KB , 800x600 , abh.png )
380694

John is lost in thought. Curly's weird behaviour earlier was so shocking, so weird, that John can't figure out what to do.
On the one hand, he's hurt. On the other, he's worried. Why did she act like this?
He can't wrap his enormous head around it.
>>
No. 380695 ID: 1b0f2f

>>380692

...make some more of that RED SEAFOOD-TOMATO-SAUCE.
>>
No. 380705 ID: faea08
File 132691888912.png - (11.76KB , 800x600 , abi.png )
380705

Not much later, John has finished another batch of Langostinos Ve-whateverthehell.
This is much less fun all of a sudden.
>>
No. 380709 ID: 1854db

>>380705
Taste it yourself.
>>
No. 380713 ID: ed57e8

if it checks out then lace it with knock out drugs so when curly eats it she passes out so you can take er to a hospital or something.
>>
No. 380717 ID: 1b0f2f

>>380709

Test it on an HUMANELY TREATED RODENT
>>
No. 380723 ID: faea08
File 132692010869.png - (12.14KB , 800x600 , abj.png )
380723

John doesn't have access to a humanely treated rodent, so he tests it on himself.
It's delicious. He doesn't think he'd wanna be gobbling it all up without rice to go with it, though.

He doesn't want to spike the sauce for three reasons: One: it'd be a waste of perfectly good food. Two: it'd be immoral. Three: He wouldn't know how to.

Hospital sounds like a good idea to him though. Curly could be seriously unwell!
>>
No. 380730 ID: beb6d7

tell Curly you'll give her some delicious if she agrees to be checked out.
>>
No. 380755 ID: ed57e8

no, let her smell it and then parkour to the hospital.
>>
No. 380761 ID: a9ba96

>>380755
This option is needlessly complicated

Lets do it
>>
No. 380763 ID: c71597

>>380761
Yes, it also make a high speed parkour chase possible. At least if she chases us for the delicious food.
>>
No. 380773 ID: 1b0f2f

Given that she's totally now a vampyyre she probably has supyrrhumyyn ryflexxes. Can you possibly hope to compete against that? Nothing to be done about it. Go!
>>
No. 381701 ID: 9c4103

You've just tasted it, right?

So your mouth would taste like delicious, right?

Go, John, parkour for makeout city!
>>
No. 381707 ID: 807ed3

>>381701

I like the way you think.
>>
No. 384979 ID: 92e579
File 132860376417.png - (16.48KB , 800x600 , abk.png )
384979

John thinks that baiting Curly into getting a check-up with more food is a pretty good idea. The way to Curly's house is quite the trek however. Under normal circumstances he could take the subway, but no subways are going at this hour, so he'll have to march through the cold on foot.
What he'd do for love.

John gets all dressed up in his fluffiest, warmest clothes and heads out.
>>
No. 384980 ID: 92e579
File 132860381059.png - (17.26KB , 800x600 , abl.png )
384980

The streets are mostly empty at this time of day.
>>
No. 384981 ID: 92e579
File 132860388762.png - (14.91KB , 800x600 , abm.png )
384981

John finally arrives at Curly's house. Seems she's still up, judging from the lights. John is unsure how to approach this situation. He needs a good plan. This is important!
>>
No. 384983 ID: 528bf9

just sneak in from a window chick love that, if shes in the room your sneaking into engage in a musical
>>
No. 385005 ID: 86fe4d

parkour the shit into her house.
>>
No. 385043 ID: 1b0f2f

>>384983
>>385005

That's a terrible idea.

Leave a trail of food from her door so she'll have to stop to eat it before continuing to chase you. Knock, then run.
>>
No. 385055 ID: 92e579
File 132864154301.png - (14.35KB , 800x600 , abn.png )
385055

John doesn't want Curly to eat from the ground... At least not much. First he parkour!s over the gate.
>>
No. 385056 ID: 92e579
File 132864158464.png - (14.47KB , 800x600 , abo.png )
385056

He leaves a little bit of food in front of the door. This won't make her sicker than she already is, he reckons.
>>
No. 385057 ID: 92e579
File 132864162173.png - (15.56KB , 800x600 , abv.png )
385057

And here we go! John knocks and runs like hell, gripping the pot as hard as he can.
>>
No. 385058 ID: 92e579
File 132864166280.png - (17.92KB , 800x600 , abw.png )
385058

And he's out of the garden before Curly even makes it to the door.
>>
No. 385059 ID: 92e579
File 132864174169.png - (24.77KB , 800x600 , abx.png )
385059

John runs. He is fairly certain he can outrun Curly any day. he turns his head to see how far behind she is.

Curly is not very far behind.
>>
No. 385060 ID: 86fe4d

OH DEAR GOD LOOKING BEHIND WHILE RUNNING FROM HER IS LIKE LOOKING DOWN WHILE CLIMBING A 10000 METER CLIFF UNSECURED

RUN FORREST RUN
>>
No. 385103 ID: c71597

>>385059
Run faster, and through obstacles that you can parkour through that will slow her down.
>>
No. 385107 ID: 1854db

Consider leaving a drop or two to distract her.
>>
No. 385114 ID: 1b0f2f

Fences! There have to be fences to climb somewhere! You can climb fences with a heavy pot, right?
>>
No. 385364 ID: d12795

why the heck are we running, she obviusly is crying and want's you to stop running. Now stop running and let her catch up to eat you. We are just being jerks by running away
>>
No. 385392 ID: c4690a

>>385364

Oui, I agree. John has parkour! skills on hand. Be a NOT-ASS and check on her first.
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