Faith Warner, pet detective.

David Warner, The most EXTREME business consultant on the earth.

John Warner. Accountant.

Jedd Warner, professional sleuth/alcoholic.

Raoul the Love God.

J. Warner, Private Investigator.

Warner Warner, Redundancy Enforcment Officer of Redundancy.

Faith David John Jedd Raoul Warner Warner!a1..dIzWW2 2012/02/07(Tue)14:28 No. 385094 ID: 502b88
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Ideas flashed through my mind at that point. Perhaps I was Faith Warner, pet detective, defending the defenseless of the animal kingdom, or perhaps simply a normal detective, bounding from alley to alley fighting crime with a smoking gun and a bottle of scotch. Maybe I was John Warner, an accountant. Maybe I was Raoul, love god, with a lady on each arm. Maybe I was Warner Warner, Redundant Redundancy Enforcement Officer of Redundant Affairs In Redundant Redundancyville.

I could be anyone, anything. In my imagination, it was all possible, all beautiful.

Anything was better than the truth.

Faith David John Jedd Raoul Warner Warner!a1..dIzWW2 2012/02/07(Tue)14:29 No. 385095 ID: 502b88
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A sound echoed in the small room. The door had opened.

"Mr. Grey?" I shuddered at the name. It couldn't be mine. I wouldn't accept it. "Mr. Grey, I'm supposed to check in on you. How are you feeling?"

I paused, unsure if and how I should answer.

>>385095
Excuse me, the name's Faith David John Jedd Raoul Warner Warner...
and I'm fine, thanks for asking.

>>385095
Depressed, and bored.

Who is it coming to check on you?

Warner Grey!a1..dIzWW2 2012/02/08(Wed)11:14 No. 385302 ID: 502b88
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"Excuse me, the name's Faith David John Jedd Raoul Warner Warner."

"So, that's a no on being alright?"

I sighed. My fantasies seemed to drift away, and I was left with only the coldness of reality. "Never mind, Marie. I'm fine. Just depressed and bored."

"Oh, Warner.. Listen, things will get better, I promise. Work's over, in any case. If you need any help getting home, I'm here for you."

Marie was a sweet girl. In the good old days, she was my secretary, but she had since become something even more important; a friend.

I pondered her offer of help, unsure of whether to accept.

Accept. Imagine that you're a detective and she's a mysterious dame driving you to investigate your new case.

>>385302

Work's over. Lose the noose!

Warner Grey!a1..dIzWW2 2012/02/12(Sun)04:08 No. 386013 ID: 502b88
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Marie's car was small and comfy, like a chair that had grown soft from years of use. The sound of the slow ride on that slick country road brought back memories I wished I could forget. A warm day. A face. Someone I would never see again.

Marie must have seen my distress, because bright, happy music burst from the car's radio. I had heard the song before. It was Marie's favorite. I smiled.

The ride was uneventful.

Warner Grey!a1..dIzWW2 2012/02/12(Sun)04:09 No. 386014 ID: 502b88
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I felt the car slow down, and knew we must be nearing my home. As the car stopped completely, I opened the car door, but I felt Marie grasp my arm and hold me back. "Warner, I meant what I said before. Everything will get better in time. Just hold on and keep smiling." she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "Goodbye, Warner."

Warner Grey!a1..dIzWW2 2012/02/12(Sun)04:09 No. 386015 ID: 502b88
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And then she was gone.

>>386015
Go on in. Greet your pets. Surely they're excited to see you.

Your tie. Take off your tie.

You should relax. Get a cup of tea, a blanket, a book, and a comfy chair. Obviously you've gone through some stress lately, so some relaxation would do you good.

>>386015
Pretend that you're actually in a 1980's music video, and do your daily afternoon routine while dancing.