I think it's time you huddled together for warmth.

and by warmth I mean sex

kiss graswsind and pik up a body to hit other ozmbies wit
h

hug grasswind, stab bad things.

Lift grasswind on your shoulders so he has a higer vantage point to shoot from.

Clamp 2012/06/12(Tue)09:26 No. 421199 ID: f72f26
File 133951840453.png - (148.51KB , 707x619 , Clude2.png )

slaps haven't managed to get through her thick skull maybe it's time to try a new approach

I hug and kiss Grasswind

>"Ah what the hell are you doing?!"

"If your going to keep acting like a spoiled child, I'm gonna have to coddle you like one

>"go fuck yourself boss"

Reveal thine boner
"You would leave me to fend against this enemy myself? You are a cruel woman!"

Clamp 2012/06/12(Tue)13:49 No. 421242 ID: f72f26
File 133953414210.png - (115.91KB , 707x619 , Clude3.png )

>>421213
well if I want to get some action, best go back to camp and find Matron, don't wanna be breeding with poor stock.

* * *

after some killin explorin and general all around trashing Leaf notices something and speaks up.

>"hey boss, I can see a shrine in the corner looks . . . tainted."

"think it's important?"

>"can't say boss, but Grasswind sure seem interested in it."

>>421242
I meant taunt her with it, or joke around jeez. You don't need to breed with her, hell, isn't casual flings even a thing? Shiiiiiit, I bet you and Leaf had to have had ONE threesome together with the matron, which is technically casual fling from her side of things with Leaf.

You should obviously dance and sing a jingle to make the corruption go away. Song and Dance ALWAYS makes this shit go away. Also, keep Grasswind away from it, she gone get herself possessed at this rate.

Clamp 2012/06/12(Tue)19:26 No. 421358 ID: f72f26
File 133955440798.png - (151.28KB , 707x619 , Clude4.png )

>>421265
man I am totally into casual flings, but that doesn't mean I can't have standards right?
Grasswind's just so . . . bland, nothing to look at if you know what I mean, on top of that she's dumb as a bag of rocks.

Clamp, dances and sings to the shrine exorcising it of all the evil spirits. the shrine proves greatful and offers to grant great holy powers to Clamp and his two fellows does he accept?

Again, joooooooke

Man, I guess. Seems legit.

totes legit

>>421358
Sure! Especially if it means having a gloriously huge cock.

Because Grass wind needs to man up and stuff.

Clamp 2012/06/12(Tue)22:28 No. 421427 ID: f72f26
File 133956529716.png - (158.56KB , 707x619 , Clude5.png )

jokes . . . uh right

"we take your blessing Especially if it means having a gloriously huge cock, Because Grasswind needs to man up and stuff."

that was funny right? Grasswind doesn't seem amused

>"W-what did you say?!?"

the shrine then grants us each a powerful boon

CLAMP is given mighty strength with which to crush all his foes

LEAF is given precise dexterity so that his bow's aim will always strike true

GRASSWIND is given the arcane power of magic because . . . giving idiots magic is amusing to the shrine.

Grasswind checks under her skirt to make sure that magic is the only "boon" she's recieve

* * *

Grasswind then give a sigh of relief.
I'm starting to see how these joke things can be funny.

CLamp 2012/06/14(Thu)20:49 No. 422270 ID: f72f26
File 133973217406.png - (370.53KB , 707x619 , Clude6.png )

we make it to the next passage and-

"Damnit Grasswind, not five seconds after you get magic and you're already burning down the place around us!"

>"It was me boss, it was like this when I got here!"

hmm looks like some sort of fire barrier, how we gonna get past?

like giant candles! huff and puff and blow them out.

>>422270
>It was me boss
"I know it was you, you numbskull, you don't need to admit the obvious, and the rest of your sentence doesn't make sense. No Gnoll alive would have such shameful grammar! We all have English Degrees, which is why Gnolls normally pillage and steal, because the market for English Degrees is terrible! Well, not unless you're a Paralegal, but Paladins take all of those jobs. Now water that down and clean up your mess! No wait, upside-down crosses! This is a satanic ritual place! We need a lawyer to pass this gate!

SOMEBODY HELP ME I HAVE FALLEN DOWN ON A PUDDLE IN A DWARVECO. TUNNEL! I INTEND TO SUE"

>>422270

I hope they don't normally crucify people like that. Blood rushing to your head... just dreadful.

CLamp 2012/06/14(Thu)22:51 No. 422365 ID: f72f26
File 133973951234.png - (371.42KB , 707x619 , Clude7.png )

"what?! it was you? don't set things on fire!"

I smack Grasswind for being a dumbass.

>"gaah! I meant it WASN'T me"

"Learn how to talk better you dumb shit."

I smack her again

it's a good thing I'm one eighth Big-Bad-Wolf on my fathers side

I huff and Puff and blow out the fires without any trouble

Clamp 2012/06/17(Sun)21:32 No. 423709 ID: f72f26
File 133999396362.png - (197.56KB , 707x619 , Clude8.png )

we done kill a bunch more stuff and keep exploring.

then we come to a bit of a dead end cept for that stone staircase leading down.

also Hilt is here

waggle eyebrows and imply hilt and the bold are in a forbidden romance.

>>423709
"Hilt and a kobold. Are you done hilting the kobold for now? Or should I say hilting IN that kobold? If you know what I mean."

Clamp 2012/06/17(Sun)22:25 No. 423732 ID: f72f26
File 133999710435.png - (196.70KB , 707x619 , Clude9.png )

I approach Hilt

"Hilt and a kobold. Are you done hilting the kobold for now? Or should I say hilting IN that kobold? If you know what I mean."

>"His name is Lilu! and I've already told you it's not like that"

he looks pretty uncomfortable

"maybe I should just give you and your boyfriend some more alone time."

>"Jeez how many times I gotta tell you our love is purely platonic, it's not sexual or anything! If you keep making fun of me like this I won't share the amazing treasure I've found!"

smirk a little harder, then "fine fine, so what's this treasure?"

While you wait Hilt to show you the treasure you should squat leaf and grasswind to test your newfound strength

Clamp 2012/06/18(Mon)11:06 No. 423828 ID: f72f26
File 134004280618.png - (1.61MB , 2142x1876 , Clude10.png )

I easily lift Leaf and Grasswind over my head and do some weight training

>"hey put me down!"

I drop them and walk over to hilt
Hilt opens the chest for me inside are three dusty looking old tunics

"you call this shit treasure?"

>"Magic Armour boss, they're called adjusting tunics they will adjust once per day to the will of the owner."

"who's the Owner?"

>"the first person they're touched by since the last owner died, right now their last owner is a pile of bones"

Hilt points to a pile of bones . . . Grasswind is chewing on one.

>"what are you guys looking at me for?"

Hilt continues explaining

>"they also shift to a new form the first time each one is worn by a new person"

hmm these things might be useful.

at least he didn't claim them all himself. take one and try it on.

Yes tunics for us, Leaf and Grasswind since Hilt can't fight to save his life.

Clamp 2012/06/22(Fri)23:09 No. 425210 ID: f72f26
File 134043179062.png - (263.37KB , 707x619 , Clude11.png )

I try one of them on, it adjusts it shape and design, fitting me perfectly.
I suppose I should try testing out the will adjustment thing at some point

Grasswind all of a sudden seems interested.

>"you better be letting me have one of those, gimme!"


Should I hand her a tunic (declaring myself owner and deciding on her armour adjustments)

or should I get her to take it herself (letting her be owner deciding her own adjustments.)

Hand it to her. She can't be trusted to not make a stupid looking outfit if we let her, better stay in control of it.

>>425210
You're in charge. all that stuff is yours by default anyway.
Imagine it as a battle-thong that invisibly protects her whole body anyway.
.. as a joke, of course.

i am curious as to what your own ideas on what the armor should be like.

>>425210

Maybe we should be fa----

>>425304

Oh hells, yeah. Declare yourself the owner and give her a battle-kini.

Clamp 2012/06/23(Sat)14:56 No. 425338 ID: f72f26
File 134048860733.png - (286.63KB , 707x619 , Clude12.png )

I hand Grasswind one of the tunics

>"haha, I'm going to shape this into-"

I concentrate thoughts on a battle-kini

*poof*

>"aah! what the hell?! this wasn't what I wanted at all!"

. . .

my newly acquired pants grow tight . . . god damnit

just turn that lust into battle lust. kill some shit. leaf can get one themselves.

Brutal violation is the answer.

Tell Grasswind that you must have touched it before she did somehow, around the time you handed it to her. You can't imagine how.

>>425338
So Grasswind doesn't look too plain in certain lighting.
You may have to tend to your tight suit eventually.
But enough of this, give her medium armor.

It only changes form once a day. It's stuck like that. Oh well.

:3

LonelyWorld 2012/06/24(Sun)10:06 No. 425593 ID: f72f26
File 134055756705.png - (242.30KB , 707x619 , Clude13.png )

"oops sorry Grasswind, I must of accidentally touched it when I handed it to you."

>"You clumsy oaf! can't even hand things right"

*SMACK*

Grasswind rubs her face and glares at me but doesn't say anything
I try to change it back to something more practical but nothing happens

>" . . . can I at least get soming more combat viable?"

Hilt responds
>" Sorry but the armour shifts only once a day, I'll just take the last-"

"Last one goes to Leaf, help yourself."

Leaf puts the last one on
Hilt looks annoyed
>" but I found them! shouldn't-"

"A smart gnoll would have only found two, if you get my meaning"

>"fine, I'm going back to camp to make sure if Matron and the pups are okay. If you find any more magic items bring them to me and I'll tell you what they do"

>>425593
That tiny 'bold is trying to hike up Hilt's Kilt.

Clamp 2012/06/25(Mon)22:36 No. 426145 ID: f72f26
File 134068896561.png - (212.65KB , 707x619 , Clude14.png )

we head down the stairs

* * *

oh look one of the dwarves.

>"Gnoll chief! hear out my dying words . . ."

there are also two doors leading from this room

well he's going to die real soon then don't have to worry about him any more. and maybe he'll tell you something cool.

>>426145
>Ignore dying words
>acquire delicious loot in that chest over there

Yes quickly claim all the loot and have Leaf listen to the dwarfs most likely boring last words.

clamp 2012/06/26(Tue)17:58 No. 426446 ID: f72f26
File 134075872721.png - (317.22KB , 707x619 , Clude15.png )

I tell Leaf to listen to the dwarf, while check out the chest

* * *

inside I find a weird sword, maybe magical? also a bag of gold.

Leaf informs me the dwarf is now dead.

Clamp 2012/07/01(Sun)23:04 No. 428105 ID: f72f26
File 134120907470.png - (266.21KB , 707x619 , Clude16.png )

"so he have anything important to say?"

>"apparently Duke led them all into a trap, he unleashed some sort of horrible monster that slaughtered his whole team and then Duke ran off laughing."

what does Clamp do next?

totally swear mighty vengence. but also wonder how duke escaped and why the dwarfs followed him.

Clamp 2012/07/03(Tue)19:49 No. 428842 ID: f72f26
File 134137014458.png - (236.20KB , 707x619 , Clude17.png )

I swear mighty vengence for the dwarves I barely knew

"Leaf, did the dwarf explain how Duke escaped? or why they followed him?"

>"Afraid not boss, but he did indicate which direction the monster was found."

leaf points towards the forward passageway

should we go looking for this creature? or try to avoid it?

Clamp 2012/07/08(Sun)23:42 No. 430486 ID: f72f26
File 134181617733.png - (236.87KB , 707x619 , Clude18.png )

we press forth slaying zombies as we go,
and then we come to an empty chamber.

Grasswind speaks up

>"I wonder what that prison door is doing down here, I better its to protect a butt load of treasure! we should check it out"

Is there anything interesting in this room or should we just press forth . . . I guess we could check down the other path as well

>>430486
"Sure. Go check it out. I'll even give you first dibs on any loot (after we pick ours)."

break dem barrels!

Clamp 2012/07/24(Tue)10:40 No. 435747 ID: f72f26
File 134315161313.png - (314.20KB , 707x619 , Clude19.png )

"Sure. Go check it out. I'll even give you first dibs on any loot (after we pick ours)."

>"ha ha, I bet I'll find a super powerful ax, yeah definitely"

after she's wandered off I smash open the barrels revealing a hidden chest!

sniff it
it might be cursed

Smash it to reveal hidden barrel. Or just smash it to reveal it's contents.

Clamp 2012/07/25(Wed)18:22 No. 436257 ID: f72f26
File 134326574116.png - (346.98KB , 707x619 , Clude20.png )

I sniff the chest

*sniff* *sniff*

seems legit

I smash open the chest, inside is some sort of wizardy scroll

Maybe its a scroll of coopering. Use it to start up a respectable trade in the barrel making venue.

>>436257
ah, sweet, a scroll of discipline-through-beating-henchmen-over-the-head.... ing.

test it on grasswind

Clamp 2012/07/26(Thu)19:01 No. 436682 ID: f72f26
File 134335451932.png - (328.70KB , 713x625 , Clude21.png )

I find grasswind in the next room

I give her a good wack, because she doesn't get enough of those

huh? some sorta wierd glowy thing

Grasswind learns a spell!

>>436682

This explains why I suck at being a wizard. I'm memorizing spells the wrong way.

msut be a muscle wizard spell.

Maybe it's the sleep-spell...
I heard it would be popular among those 'bolds...

it's CHRAM. she is now super sexy to everything.

>>436682
(so you know, you made my day using my suggestion)

maybe it's a spell that allows you to memorize soup recipes, specifically involving subterranean species of mushrooms

Clamp 2012/07/27(Fri)10:06 No. 436915 ID: f72f26
File 134340876872.png - (350.83KB , 707x619 , Clude22.png )

>"Ha hah ha! you've push me around for the last time! now I have arcane power I will avenge my father and become the rightful leader of our clan, and you, you will taste the death of magic!"

I got no idea what sort of magic she learned, but I've got the feeling I'm about to find out.

Spell of clothing distintegration AOE

"Grasswind, stop being a dork. You have no experience leading anything and you'll get everyone killed by jumping headfirst into battle. I'll be damned if MY pups are killed following YOUR dumb orders. Yeah girl, do to them what I did to you, then they'll do the same for generations unless you go all baby-killiing-crazy, then the matron and a few others will probably straight up kill you for being a retarded villain so monstrous they only exist in fairy tails."

>>436915
before you do that, could you bust down the door in front of us?

But unknown to Grasswind the spell was the old reliable "Grease". With the amazing power to cover a 30 ft area with slippery goo.

>>436915
congratulations Grasswind, you picked up the quintessential wizard spell: Read Magic.

That looks like a polymorph spell to me, be ready for anything.

>>436918
This.

>>436962
She polymorphs into a human
If we can specify, into comedian Larry King.

>>436982
errr radio celebrity.

Clamp 2012/07/30(Mon)18:33 No. 437615 ID: f72f26
File 134369843425.png - (330.92KB , 713x625 , Clude23.png )

>>436918
>>436972

that's stupid why the hell would some make a spell that disintegrates cloth-

Clamps clothes vanish

"god damn it"

the rest of clamp begins to vanish

"what the hell?!"

Clamp 2012/07/30(Mon)18:40 No. 437616 ID: f72f26
File 134369880160.png - (269.52KB , 707x619 , Clude24.png )

Clamp finds himself inside a tent

Hilt and his little pet are here
the kobold speaks

>"oh look magical floating clothes! no wait it's clamp!"

Hilt takes his turn to speak

>"Clamp? what are you doing here?"

>>437616
Yell at the innocent bold to cover their eyes and leave the tent while you discuss big boy things.

"Why are you naked in a bed with that kobold? You're a grown gnoll for gods sake, if you like cuddling with adorable things, fine, but always wear some goddamn pants you creep. As for your question, I don't know why either, this is not a sight I would actively want to be in. By the way, your shitty magical armor got disintegrated, so Grasswind and maybe Leaf has the only piece, though it's technically a two piece lingerie set right now."
...
"Listen, while your currently naked, could you go and get Grasswind laid? She's ornery as fuck and she's obviously never gotten some; so she's pent up like a motherfucker. I know I'm naked too but I wouldn't touch her with a 12-inch pole. Too scrawny. Plus, she hates me. And the matron's hotter. And the mother of my pups. You don't have any so... yeah. Take one more for the clan, will you?"

>>437653
This. If he turns out to be gay, offer to give Grasswind a strap-on.

>>437653
clamp isn't naked.

>>437664
Nevermind the part that mentions his own nudity and lack of magical armor then.
I had no idea that his clothes reappeared with him until I read the second post more in depth. And I thought his armor in that picture were either a guideline or a part of his ridiculously ripped shoulders.

And that he had a reallly smooth back.

You are no longer under your clan's watchful eye. You can now embrace your desires to be homosex with both Hilt and the kobold, without fear of persecution!

>>437672
Explain Matron and the multiple pups.

Clamp 2012/07/31(Tue)16:56 No. 437902 ID: f72f26
File 134377898857.png - (232.20KB , 707x619 , Clude25.png )

"Bold, get lost"

>"why?"

hilt steps in

>"just do as he says Lilu, we don't want to cause trouble"

the kobold leaves.

"Hilt, Grasswind is acting like a bitch, can you go have sex with her to make her shut up."

>"Sex is not really a cure all for women acting irrational, you should probably speak with her ask what's bothering her you could be surprised want an open dialogue can accomplish."

We've tried that and know what's up anyway. Does Hilt know more about Grasswind then you? How, he was gone forever. Grasswind's problem is simple, she wants the clan and Clamp dead as rightful revenge for killing her father. Which, normally is fine and dandy, actually kinda respectable if she didn't let it get in the way of the clan's survival. Unless Hilt certainly knows there's something else, what options haven't we tried? We're gnolls, we're straight up with each other. She is very straight up about killing us. She can't for shit, but her trying has teleported us from the front lines, leaving Leaf and her in potentially unknown danger.

We have discussed things with her. We've given her advice. We have hit her, which is fine because gnolls beat the shit out of each other all the fucking time and its how you get them in line regularly. We have kissed and pet her affectionately. We have given her stuff. Just bone her Hilt. It's the last thing we haven't tried that isn't just killing her. Give her something else to think about than this sodding revenge scheme she's been wanting since she was a pup. We do not want to kill our own here, what else is there besides sex? You're named Hilt. Use it, I mean, that's a male stripper or gigilo name. Okay? Or is there someone else down here that can do the job? We don't have any gigilos down here you know, it's not like suddenly the worlds most talented gigilo is going to fall from the sky, solving all our problems?

Take one for the clan, Hilt, become a gigilo. It's your calling.

Clamp 2012/09/12(Wed)13:32 No. 453932 ID: f72f26
File 134748195702.png - (283.53KB , 713x625 , Clude26.png )

"Damnit Hilt, do it or I'll crush your face"

>"wait do you feel that? it's as if the fabric of reality is weakening like this reality-"

"OK one face crushing coming right up"

>"Okay fine I'll do it, are we gonna use the portal you came from, or walk the whole way back?"

No use walking back. Your ragehorny levels can't last that long. Better just homosex Hilt now while you have the chance.

"i dunno if it will work going the other way, may as well try it"

I think walk. I don't think we CAN use the portal back.
Hilt, let's make it clear, we need you to seduce her, not rape her like every other gnoll would. Let's face it if you tried Hilt the only thing getting penetrated would be your own ass with a sword.

Clamp 2012/09/16(Sun)12:56 No. 455291 ID: f72f26
File 134782538301.png - (237.50KB , 713x625 , Clude27.png )

"I don't trust magic, let's walk back"

after a long walk back we run into Leaf.

>"hey boss, Grasswind has declared herself chieftess after your untimely disintegration, her gloating is kinda ticking me off."

Tell me have the lands withered, the beasts run away and the cloud covered skies never yielding rain since I was gone?

"yeah figured that would happen... pretty much exactly like that."

Gods above! Doesn't she know anything? It's custom that if the chief appears to die under weird magical circumstances, you wait at least three days before declaring yourself chief, lest they come back, one way or another, and beat you into the ground like a tent peg. 'Tis common knowledge.

Now go proclaim Grasswind's a huge moron, and beat her into the ground like a tent peg.

"So has someone killed her preemptively for chieftain status yet or did I walk too quickly here?"

Clamp 2012/09/17(Mon)21:08 No. 455824 ID: f72f26
File 134794128265.png - (347.90KB , 713x625 , Clude28.png )

"so has anyone killed her yet for being a bitch?"

>"no boss, I figured you'd want to do it yourself."

"fine lead the way."

we head into the next room over. Leaf seems confused

>"huh? she isn't here."

we here a shrill scream and cries for help coming from the open door across

"huh,figures."

She's molting!

bust through the door kool-aid man style and see whats up.

Yell that you'll huff, puff and blow their house down.

Clamp 2012/09/22(Sat)08:24 No. 456795 ID: 67ba4b
File 134832746325.png - (236.78KB , 713x625 , Clude29.png )

alright let's check what's in this next room

huh, a big monster thing.
>"puny tiny creature prepare to be destroyed!"

Grasswind is also screaming for help or something.

>>456795
Quickly, Hilt! Perform a wonderful dance number to distract it!
Leaf, then insert your sword up it's ass.
Clamp, cut off one of it's toes to make it lose it's balence! Team GO!

Quickly Lilu! n-wait what are you even doing here? It's dangerous!

ask the monster to stop so you can tell grass you were disintegrated and have come back as a ghost to mock her misfortune

Clamp 2012/09/23(Sun)20:52 No. 457430 ID: 67ba4b
File 134845874154.png - (279.65KB , 707x619 , Clude30.png )

after getting knocked around a lot and having the crap thoroughly beaten out of me I notice something out of place.

"bold! I thought I told you to get lost!"

>"Lilu wants to help!"

Give him your sword and say "ITS TIME YOU BECAME A MAN SON-BOLD"

Lilu's super secret power activate!

"sure kid, knock yourself out"

Is Lilu's secret power noserubs? I bet it's noserubs.

"Lilu! get the scroll! the scroll!"

now whack me over the head with it.

Clamp 2012/09/26(Wed)12:36 No. 458192 ID: 67ba4b
File 134868816219.png - (242.10KB , 713x625 , Clude31.png )

"ya sure, knock yourself out"

Lilu attempts to use secret power "nose rubs

. . . it's not very effective

Clamp 2012/09/26(Wed)12:36 No. 458193 ID: 67ba4b
File 134868821225.png - (220.65KB , 713x625 , Clude32.png )

hilt cries out

>"LILU!"

hilt: rage mode

clamp: "looks like she knows how to follow orders at least"

>>458193

Hilt unlocks Hidden Potential! Hilt gains a status increase!

Hilt gains the boon Undying Love!

The next couple updates will be a risque transformation sequence

Clamp 2012/09/28(Fri)21:45 No. 458677 ID: 67ba4b
File 134889391845.png - (1.44MB , 2142x1876 , Clude33.png )

Hilt enters rage mode

> "RAAAH!"

Oh uh, never mind. o.o

>>458678
Believe in the Lilu that believes in you! Yours is the sword that shall pierce the heavens!

ow, good job hilt.

Is Hilt going to kill us now for putting Lilu in danger?
If not, then goddamn son, he just got promoted. He's taking Grasswind's place now, she's just a nameless grunt now. Fuck that seducing scheme we came up with earlier. We'll have some other nameless grunt that happens to like you calm her down that way.

If you didn't slash through the entire mountain I am going to be disappointed in you.

Clamp 2012/09/30(Sun)18:49 No. 459131 ID: 67ba4b
File 134905617052.png - (255.25KB , 713x625 , Clude36.png )

"nice work Hilt, how's about I make you my second in command?"

>"thanks but no thanks, I'd prefer to stay away from leadership positions"

Grasswind starts to shout and complain.
>"someone get this giant hand offa me!"

"first tell me where the thing came from"

>>459131

Hilt, why are you not rushing to Lilu's side! He may have some grief stricken last words to cough out before he expires!

Wink at Hilt "you know what to do next"

>>459155

After a hit like that, if that kobold isn't dead, I call bullshit.

Clamp 2012/10/03(Wed)12:31 No. 459941 ID: 67ba4b
File 134929267201.png - (276.85KB , 713x625 , Clude37.png )

I wink at Hilt and say
"you know what to do next"
he nods and runs to check on the bold

. . .

"hey Grass, tell me where this thing came from"

>"hey, didn't I disintegrate you?"

"I got better, now talk."

>"I dunno I was chasing after that evil cat guy, and then that thing jumped out of nowhere"

look around the room, is there any place this thing could of being hiding? ether way ask "so why didn't you use your new super magical powers on it?"

Clamp 2012/10/07(Sun)08:31 No. 460947 ID: 67ba4b
File 134962389738.png - (266.30KB , 707x619 , Clude38.png )

leaf is the first to notice something.

>"hey boss, I found a staircase leading down, I'll bet that's where Duke escaped too."