Hope 2013/06/28(Fri)09:40 No. 520003 ID: 25312f
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[Telepathic link formed with box-bearers “Jack” and “Millie”. Let the fun begin!]

Hope 2013/06/28(Fri)09:41 No. 520004 ID: 25312f
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“Can’t you bozos fucking read! The box says DO NOT OPEN right on it! Well congradu-fucking-lations! You just released all the evil in the world. And now you’ve gotta help me put it back in.”

Hey, don't blame them. If all the evil in the world was in that box, they couldn't have understood why opening it would be bad. Until this moment negative consequences wouldn't even have existed for them!

Certain frameworks don't exactly make sense in a vacuum, you know.

wait... how old is it? and does anyone even write in that language anymore? would be hard to read a warning in a dead language.

>>520004
Hi.

We're the box you opened. Jack, you are an idiot. Can't you read? Wait, you CAN read that language, right?

well it's not all jack's fault, Millie apparently thinks every locked box he brings in is his.

*ahem*
WHAT UP MOTHERFUCKERS
LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE FUCKED UP BIG TIME
CONGRADU-FUCKING-LATIONS
NOW YOU'VE GOT TO FIX IT
SERIOUSLY
THIS IS REALLY, REALLY BAD

>>520004

Nice try! We know better than to believe a ferret!

Man, if the box wasn't supposed to be open, why was it even built to be openable? Plenty of ways to seal a vessel and make it not even look like a container, even with dark ages tech.

Whelp, looks like the worlds ending so might as well head to you favorite bar and slam a few before whatever you just let out tears it down to it's foundations.

Why is all the evil in the world Green and Purple?

>>520008
>Until this moment negative consequences wouldn't even have existed for them!
That's wrong.
Unintended Consequences (e.g. Bad Things) can still happen through ignorance or haste or emotional upsets.
Evil is Absurdism, Evil is Corruption, Evil is Entropy, Evil is Omnicide.

Well how were they supposed to know opening a mysterious box would unleash a negative abstract concept that they'd probably never even heard of before, since all of it was in the box in the first place.

>>520074

That's ironic considering that stuff exploding out of a box from nothing is the exact opposite of entropy.

Hope 2013/06/28(Fri)21:33 No. 520158 ID: 25312f
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>>520010
>>520019
Why was a fairy in that box? Fairies exist!? Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit why am I hearing VOICES? In my HEAD? AAAAAaaaaAAA-
Shut up!
[Hope used Fairy Dust Flash! It's super blinding!]
OW! WHAT WAS THAT WHY AM I BLIND OH GODS WHAT!?
Don't make me do that again!
...

Hi there! You must be some sort of magical-mechanical construct! I wonder who could have made you...
Anywho, don't blame Jack! I couldn't even read that silly sign.
You couldn't read it.
...How long have I been out?

>>520015
Of course it's his! Jack would never lie to me.

>>520079
>>520008
>>520074
>>520079
But there's evil out here! Like stealing or murder or sealing the lids of bottles of mechanical lubricant too tight!
That can't be true! Do you have any idea what kind of monstrosities you've unleashed upon the world! You two Bozos just let out all the evil!
But what about-
ALL. THE. EVIL.

>>520022
If you had arms, I'd rip them off.
That's not very nice.

>>520037
...I could use a drink.
You're not going anywhere until we get a start on fixing this!

Alright, Bozos, here's how it's gonna be! You two are Box-Bearers, meaning that you're responsible for helping me stuff the horrors you let out of the box, back in.

I'm in! ...What do we need to do, anyway?

First, we use the box's tracking system to locate an escaped horror. It has likely taken a host, which it will use as an mana-well for raising hell. This gives the horror the added protection of being inside the host. It's the perfect disguise.

The more negative emotion happens around the spirit, the stronger it gets! While horrors can't physically harm living things, they can use their powers to wreak hell on things they're wearing, or anything around them.

[Give system commands using brackets, kinda like this!]

Then you need to catch the horror. To do this, you need to separate them from their host, then weaken them using anything you can. Once they're weak, you can use a [command] to catch them. They'll still have a glamour, so only box-bearers will see them.

Oh, almost forgot, to get them to separate from their host, you need to take everything they could use to refract their magical essence back into the host. Anything they're wearing! Strip them naked!

Wait a sec... we're doing what?
...Can we keep the stuff we take?

>>520158
It sounds like we've been... leaking evil. Mundane evil? Jake, where did you even find the box?

Hope, what things can we do aside from track horrors?
[detect nearby horrors]

Refuse to have anything to do with this project until someone comes up with a better plan than "lol put it back in the box that was just proven to be insecure"

simple, after the box is closed it is locked in a safe and thrown into the marianas trench.

and jake, real talk, where the hell did you get the box?

Man forget that! Sounds like work. I'm tired of being locked up anyway. Before we go off on some fairy ferret quest without another word let's at least appraise the current situation!

Jack. You sure were squawking urgently about opening us. Why did you want to open the box so bad?

Millie. How antique do you estimate the lock to be? Is it in the style you'd see on actual antiques? Is it in the style you'd see about movies about the "last good war" or revolution or whatever? Is it downright medieval, would fit in right next to stone castles and noblemen in poofy pants? Are we talking ancient pyramid hieroglyph giant sandstone locks? An idea of just how old we are could help you figure out where we originated from, along with said purple and green "horrors."

Hope. Bahahaha a liar and a perv too. I like you.

...wait. Stripping breaks possession?

That is the lamest excuse for evil super-beings I have ever heard. I mean, they're evil. I expected we'd have to horribly kill the host or something to drag them screaming from a mortal frame.

How exactly do you expect to keep your box-bearers from getting murdered by the possessed evil-doers? Or from getting arrested by the local police on charges of theft, assault, sexual harassment, etc?

>>520166

Stripping breaks re-possession. It's a psychic self image identity thing.

... I'm sure just striping people will go over WONDERFULLY with any law enforcement we come across, I mean unless the spirit isn't really trying to hide that it is him/its host doing this kinda crap... well I'm already seeing some problems that may or may not come up. espasally since we are going to be the only ones who will be able to see this crap. Hey Hope what is it like for the person after we exorcise them?

oh and uh hope what was the last thing you remember before the box was sealed last time could help us figure out how long we where out.

as for what to do [find nearby spirit]

...
STRIP. THEM. NAKED?
...
BAWHAWHAWHAW
*snicker*
AHAHAHHAWHAWHAW
AW, THAT'S A GOOD O-
WAIT
YOU'RE FUCKING SERIOUS
WHAT
...
AHAHAHA YOU PERV

Hope 2013/06/29(Sat)22:28 No. 520375 ID: 25312f
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>>520161
Ha! Like anything could possibly be more secure than this box! It's the perfect prison!
[New subgoal added! Find permanent solution!]

>>520160
>Hope, what things can we do aside from track horrors?
I think you can instill the power of a captured horror on a box-bearer. That's all the engineer-priests told me.
[Alert! Evidence of blocked, damaged, and undocumented features detected! Good luck with that.]


>>520162
>simple, after the box is closed it is locked in a safe and thrown into the marianas trench.
[Solution potentially nonviable. Pressure may cause box to rupture!]

>and jake, real talk, where the hell did you get the box?
I, uh, found it. For sale. At Wilmington manor. They were having, uh, a yardsale. It was really cheap.
Sounds like it was a steal.
Yeah, Millie. A steal.
Sounds legit. Jake.
Jack.
Right, Jake.

>>520168
>Jack. You sure were squawking urgently about opening us. Why did you want to open the box so bad?
I sto-
uh, bought it from a count. Usually they have something really profitable in them. If this whole scheme works out, it still might be...

>Millie. How antique do you estimate the lock to be?
Real, real old. Like so old that nobody knows who made it. Stuff like this turns up all the time, and you can pick it out ‘cause it's too advanced to copy. Not to say we didn’t figure out just a little! Somebody figured out how to power up the clockwork relays and BAM, we got skytrams and volt-toasters. Have you ever eaten toast toasted with pure lightning magic?! It's delicious!

The Box is ours. Fey-built, it's the best in the world!

You just solved a thousand-year mystery. We should throw a party! Ooo, Ooo, I'll get the streamer cannon!

Not until we catch the horrors! And not without lots of liquor.

I think I'm starting to like you.

>Hope. Bahahaha a liar and a perv too. I like you.
A liar and a...
I swear I'd rip apart if I didn't need you to catch the horrors which are no-doubt plaguing the good people of this world.

>>520168
>Law enforcement
Don't get caught.

>What's it like?
Hosts don't know they're possessed, and they're conscious the whole time. Horrors, being the TWISTED MONSTROSITIES they are, mess with their memories so they don't remember what they're doing or remember it wrong. Or make stuff happen around them, stuff they might think is "just a coincidence". Evil stuff.

"Bozos, any questions? We doing this?"
Do we really have to s-strip them?
"...We do, Millie. We have to. Are you still in?"
"...Yeah."
...Do we get to keep the stuff?
"Yes, Jake, we get to keep the stuff."

>[detect nearby horrors]
>[find nearby spirit]
[Two Spirits detected!
- Annoyance
- Unbinding
Locations pinpointed! Activating Box-O-Vision!]

Unbinding sounds like an easy one to strip so lets start with that one.

In a moment of extreme idiocy, I've apparently forgotten to connect the spirits to their locations. Annoyance is in the bar, Unbinding is in the store. I should hopefully not need to do this again.

I wonder where they got those names?

Box-O-Vision sounds silly.
How about...
"Clairvoyance of spirits"
...
Hey, it still sounds better than friggin' "BAWX-OH VISON LAWL"

>>520411

Your face sounds silly.