Your name is stickman.

Sly Mahone

snyczombie 2015/10/12(Mon)08:03 No. 676126 ID: 33764e
File 144466218719.png - (14.27KB , 720x720 , basicinterpreter.png )

It's starting to come back to you. Your name is...Stickman? Weird name, but okay.
You feel something in your pocket. Curious, you take it out. It appears to be some sort of smartphone, but instead of apps, it just has a BASIC Interpreter. Having a little knowledge of BASIC yourself, you decide to type something. But what...

>>676126
"Hello, world!"

Type the following:

10 PRINT "stick man is a cool d00d"
20 GOTO 10
30 END

snyczombie 2015/10/12(Mon)12:30 No. 676146 ID: 33764e
File 144467821056.png - (7.21KB , 720x720 , d00d.png )

Eh, what the heck. A little narcissism never hurt anyone. You decide to write a program to print the phrase "stick man is a cool d00d."
The text appears on the screen, but you could swear you heard a whisper saying "stick man is a cool d zero zero d" in one of those weird text-to-speech voices...
Should you stop, or should you fool around more?

>>676146
Hmm..

Type FILES

>>676146
You seem to have made an infinite loop there.

>>676190
Ctrl+C

snyczombie 2015/10/14(Wed)15:47 No. 676496 ID: 33764e
File 144486287812.png - (8.27KB , 720x720 , files.png )

You type "FILES," and four options appear: CREATE, CAST, SUMMON, and something written in Wingdings. You're not sure how or why, but it's in Wingdings, so you can't run it. That leaves you with CREATE, CAST, and SUMMON. Which one should you choose?

>>676496
summon

>>676496
Type: LOAD "SUMMON", then LIST. We need to see what these programs might look like from the inside before running them!

snyczombie 2015/10/16(Fri)16:06 No. 676923 ID: 33764e
File 144503676156.png - (12.41KB , 720x720 , summonlist.png )

You LOAD SUMMON and type "LIST." Maybe you, with your extensive knowledge of BASIC, can figure out how it worgood god you have no idea what's going on in this program. It's just more Wingdings. What kind of BASIC interpreter can run programs written in Wingdings?! What kind of sick person WRITES programs in Wingdings?!

If you ever figure out what's going on, you should definitely destroy Wingdings. But, at the moment, you're left with SUMMON loaded. Should you run it?

>>676923
Yes

The windings command translates to TRUTH.

Go ahead and run SUMMON.

>>676923
Gentlemen. Ladies. This is no ordinary BASIC. ...This is Advanced BASIC. My god have mercy on us all.

>>676958
It might be safer to LOAD and RUN "CREATE" as opposed to SUMMON since LISTing is out of the question.

snyczombie 2015/10/18(Sun)08:10 No. 677491 ID: 33764e
File 144518102495.png - (6.46KB , 720x720 , summon.png )

You decide to run SUMMON. It asks for a living creature. What should you enter?

>>677491
enter "dog"
then enter "robot"

Start with something crazy; try 'ninja dolphin'

>>677491
Dragon.

>>677491
POTUS

Let's get Obama all up in this. He can help, right?

>>677491
Siamese Kitten

>>677571
I can't decide if that's the worst or the best idea.
Let's do it.

snyczombie 2015/10/19(Mon)13:44 No. 677985 ID: 33764e
File 144528744354.png - (13.78KB , 720x720 , potus.png )

You have now SUMMONed Barack Obama. So now he's stuck here with you. Yay.
You wonder if this is the real Obama or not. For your sake, you hope he isn't.
Now what?

>>677985
Ask him if he's real.

>>677985
Stickman is a Republican? I'm probably reading way too much into that.

Consul the potentially terrified Obama. If he was really summoned from the US circa... now-isg, its probably a good idea. Of course, if he's not fully terrified or confused, I think it is safe to assume we have some sort of Barack-elganger on our hands.

>>677985
Have secks.

snyczombie 2015/10/29(Thu)16:13 No. 680091 ID: 33764e
File 144616039043.png - (10.56KB , 720x720 , barackelganger.png )

Obama is surprisingly calm about this. You suspect he might not be the real Obama...
But now you have to pee. A lot.

Discharge on the not-Obama.

Try to avoid having an obowel movement until you are in the right place for that.

Summon a tree and some rope.

snyczombie 2015/11/01(Sun)05:48 No. 680574 ID: 33764e
File 144638573503.png - (12.59KB , 720x720 , nootherchoice.png )

With no other options, you release your urine near the fake Obama. Hopefully he doesn't mind...
Maybe you should find out how to make a toilet.

Don't make a toilet. You will deprive the large empty world of natural fertiliser.

Instead, fertilise it even more.

Pull up the cast program and try to cast "endless nachos forever" you two are probably hungry.

>>680574
Punch Obama in the face.

>>680160
Dude, that's fucked.

>>682148
Summon a tree and two ropes.

snyczombie 2015/11/09(Mon)12:34 No. 682740 ID: 33764e
File 144710124837.png - (17.57KB , 720x720 , atreeandsomerope.png )

You have successfully SUMMONed a tree. However, you could not SUMMON the rope, because rope is not a living thing. You're not even sure why this thought popped into your head.

>>682740
Time for some SCIENCE. Attempt to summon a lollipop tree.

snyczombie 2015/11/28(Sat)09:08 No. 686033 ID: 33764e
File 144873048685.png - (10.63KB , 720x720 , lolipop.png )

You attempt to summon a LOLIPOP TREE, but you've forgotten how many L's are in LOLLIPOP, so you can't spell LOLLLIPOP. But you can continue to scream LOLLLLIPOP at Obama.

>But you can continue to scream LOLLLLIPOP at Obama.
Seems win-win. Go for it.

summon balrog
summon galactus
summon Emperor of Mankind
summon Azathoth

snyczombie 2015/11/29(Sun)14:03 No. 686241 ID: 33764e
File 144883458821.png - (9.32KB , 720x720 , azathoth.png )

You have the urge to summon a great LOVECRAFTIAN HORROR...and, of course, you give in. Unfortunately, this requires a lot of time to do, so you've got to find something to do while waiting for the ruler of the Outer Gods. It's a shame; you kinda wanted to try out the other two options...

attempt autofellatio

snyczombie 2015/12/13(Sun)14:00 No. 688563 ID: 33764e
File 145004401636.png - (11.45KB , 700x700 , cantreach.png )

You can't reach that far.

AZATHOTH COUNTER: 3

Summon a wormhole (worms are alive, right) allowing you to attempt autofellatio.

>>688563
Do some stretches first ya idiot!

snyczombie 2016/01/16(Sat)06:08 No. 694321 ID: 386280
File 145295331459.png - (9.90KB , 720x720 , stretches.png )

You begin stretching.

AZATHOTH COUNTER: 2

>>694321
Do 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, run 100km everyday, and get a bitchin' cape, because you're now One Stick Man.

snyczombie 2016/01/24(Sun)15:04 No. 696826 ID: 386280
File 145367669527.png - (8.64KB , 720x720 , onestickman.png )

You can't get a cape, because a CERTAIN OUTER GOD is hogging the BASIC interpreter, but you're still ONE STICK MAN.

AZATHOTH COUNTER: 1

You'd best keep training, otherwise you're a wee bit fucked when old azzy shows up.

Make sure to have your stick with you then. It won't do for one stick man to fight Azothoth without his stick would it?

snyczombie 2016/02/06(Sat)09:22 No. 699483 ID: 386280
File 145477933865.png - (23.35KB , 720x720 , azathothcometh.png )

You can't make a stick either, since Azathoth is taking his sweet time.

AZATHOTH COUNTER: 0

Well, speak of the devil. Here he is now.

>>699483
Prostrate yourself in worship.

punch nao