Eating the pasta salad, obviously.

>>712179
Enjoy your prize, before the cops can claim it as evidence.

eat roommate, frame salad

First finish that pasta salad. You won't be able to eat it in jail.

You're going to have to hide the body and spill some sauce in the kitchen so people think the blood is sauce.

Is there some sort of cello case or spare esky you can cram the body into?

eat the fucking pasta salad
who can you call that wont turn you in?

Stuff the body in the fridge so it lasts longer.

Eat the body. DISPOSE OF THE EVIDENCE.

The special ingredient wasn't love like your mother told you, it is HUMAN FLESH.

Artsekey 2016/03/29(Tue)18:10 No. 712229 ID: 863b4e
File 145930020232.jpg - (181.80KB , 700x600 , PS2.jpg )

>Enjoy your prize, before the cops can claim it as evidence

You really want to EAT THE SPOILS OF WAR, but there's a dead fly hanging around in there. Plus, it's kind of old. You haven't been home in over two months.

It was more the principle of the thing, honestly.

...Also, there are no clean forks. No clean spoons. And, thanks to you, there are no clean knives. You could be a savage and eat it with your own hands, but that kind of seems stupid.

THen get to eating the damn body man!

Artsekey 2016/03/29(Tue)18:28 No. 712233 ID: 863b4e
File 145930129444.jpg - (231.19KB , 700x600 , PS3.jpg )

You start to have INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS. Theoretically, if you eat your roommate, that'll get rid of the evidence, right?

...Right???

But you don't have time or the lacking moral fiber required for haut-cannibalism. Time is ticking!

Do you have access to pigs?

change major to theatre

You don't have any marinara sauce. Neither you nor your previous roommate cooked often-- if at all-- and when you did, it was ramen.

You don't have access to pigs, and you know you aren't strong enough to pick up your roommate. He went to the gym every day and he is BUILT.

You are also pretty sure he dealt drugs. You are pretty sure about a lot of things your old roommate did, but you never actually committed their name to memory. What was it again?

All that aside, you do have your phone. Maybe it's time to start making some calls...

You have three people you know you can count on:
Your sister, who is on the other side of the country, would never turn you in. She's a humanities major over on the east coast, and two years older than you.
You have a feeling she's going to be VERY DISAPPOINTED.

You could call your BEST FRIEND. You guys go to the same college, but he lives on campus. He could be over in minutes, and you used to joke about hiding bodies together all the time. You've kind of grown apart since you moved out of the same dorm last semester, but you see him at least twice a week for math. He'd probably be willing to help you out.

You could call JIM, too. You met Jim a few days ago. He was eating a Styrofoam cup outside of the arts building and put his number in your phone after asking to borrow it to make a call. You're still not sure if he was trying to hit on your or just make new friends.

You need to remove the rug covering the hidden passage to the basement and jump down it.

check freezer

Artsekey 2016/03/29(Tue)19:02 No. 712260 ID: 863b4e
File 145930335319.jpg - (155.30KB , 700x600 , ps5.jpg )

>>change major to theatre

In this stressful moment, you have a moment of clarity. You know what you must do. You know what you want to do with your life.

If you somehow don't get arrested for this stint...
You will become...

A THEATER MAJOR.

if we tell jim that the body is a dummy for artistic uses would he believe us. if so then just gift the corpse to jim.

Artsekey 2016/03/29(Tue)19:09 No. 712263 ID: 863b4e
File 145930375015.jpg - (165.63KB , 700x600 , ps6.jpg )

It kind of sucks that you know you're probably definitely going to get arrested for this.

At least if you don't do something soon.

ask our buddy Satan to spirit the body away to hell

>>712264
Sounds like i good idea, may as well sacrifce the body to the dark gods, hopefully they can get uou out of this mess

>>712264
>>712265
I'm always a slut for dark magic.

>>712265
Yeah! We just tell satan/whatever evil gods, that we want to sacrifice his life for magical acting powers!

Artsekey 2016/03/29(Tue)19:30 No. 712277 ID: 863b4e
File 145930500961.jpg - (176.11KB , 700x600 , ps7.jpg )

>> Check the freezer.
There's literally nothing in here because your stupid shitty roommate ATE IT ALL. All your bagel bites, all your pizza rolls-- all that's left is this stupid ICE PACK and an EMPTY ICE TRAY.
He seriously sucks! Sucked. Past tense.

>>if we tell jim that the body is a dummy for artistic uses would he believe us. if so then just gift the corpse to jim

You consider pawning off the corpse to Jim, but...

Artsekey 2016/03/29(Tue)19:31 No. 712278 ID: 863b4e
File 145930507299.jpg - (222.66KB , 700x600 , ps8.jpg )

Your roommate is definitely in a state of corpus-mortis, and not passable as some kind of drawing-aide for Jim.

Though, considering how weird Jim is, he might buy it.

AUGH! You don't have time for this!

locate roommate's hand

Artsekey 2016/03/29(Tue)19:44 No. 712284 ID: 863b4e
File 145930588144.jpg - (199.04KB , 700x600 , ps9.jpg )

>>ask our buddy Satan to spirit the body away to hell
>>Sounds like i good idea, may as well sacrifce the body to the dark gods, hopefully they can get uou out of this mess
>>I'm always a slut for dark magic.
>>Yeah! We just tell satan/whatever evil gods, that we want to sacrifice his life for magical acting powers!

You think back on your awkward teenage years. Just when you think this night couldn't get worse!

You had a brief anti-establishment phase. It involved a lot of heavy rock and faux-satanism. Part of you wonders if that could help you now. After all, you're definitely going to hell.

Didn't you read anything in high school about Faustus? Something about... sweet-as-fuck deals????

But, alas, you're pretty sure you need a virgin and some sort of magic circle to get it all done right. Given this guy's reputation, he's definitely not your golden ticket.

Suddenly, there's a knock at the door.

"Hello? Issac?" It's a woman's voice. Your RA, Rachel.
You knew this was coming, you fool! You are in your underwear, covered with blood. What the hell are you going to do now?

TELL HER YOURE POOPING COME BACK LATER

>>712284
QUICK STUFF THE BODY IN THE FRIDGE

hide knife, reattach hand, make it look like he had a violent death to your rotten pasta salad.
also pour some more trash in it.
if she asks, he stabbed himself and accidentally cut off his hand during his seizure of eating the really old shit and the blood got on you
i dunno man good luck

>>712284
stab yourself, just a little bit. Scratch your face with his remaining hand.
Murder's legal if you claim it as self-defense.

Get ready for this next bit by equipping a hat. Nice forethought on eating his hands.

Strip off all your clothes, no bloody clothes no suspicion when you open the door.

>>712324
don't masquerade as the guy in shades (oh no)

You'll have to kill her too. Or just tell her the truth; she may not believe it.

Uh. Your best bet may be jumping out the window and just, running straight into the woods, and never coming out.

>>712292
IT'S EMPTY ENOUGH TO WORK!

Hey, she might be a virgin.

Artsekey 2016/03/30(Wed)08:04 No. 712425 ID: 863b4e
File 145935029447.jpg - (172.44KB , 700x600 , ps10.jpg )

>>Get ready for this next bit by equipping a hat. Nice forethought on eating his hands.

>>Strip off all your clothes, no bloody clothes no suspicion when you open the door.

>>don't masquerade as the guy in shades (oh no)

Your thoughts are all over the place! You don't have any time to STUFF THE BODY IN THE FRIDGE, and you definitely don't have the strength. So, using your last few precious seconds of time, you strip down to your underwear and pick up your dead room-mate's HAT and SHADES. You feel like a dudebro, and you answer the door in a smarmy sort of way.

"Heyyyy," You say. You are shaking.

Artsekey 2016/03/30(Wed)08:09 No. 712428 ID: 863b4e
File 145935055341.jpg - (145.09KB , 700x600 , ps11.jpg )

Your nude ploy WORKED! Rachel is obviously embarrassed by the fact that you aren't wearing a shirt. She averts her gaze!

"Lawrence and Jacob said they heard you and your roommate having some kind of fight. Is everything okay?"

It's obvious she doesn't want to be here, much less so now that you are shirtless.

Speaking of things you are and are not...

---INVENTORY---
+1 SLIGHTLY BLOODY HAT
+1 SET OF CHEAP SHADES
+1 PAIR OF UNDERWEAR
-1 BLOODY SHIRT
-1 BLOODY KNIFE

>>712428
careful lads, what we say here could fuck us in the long run.
We still gotta frame our dead roomie for attempted homicide for those self defense charges.

Artsekey 2016/03/30(Wed)11:33 No. 712463 ID: 863b4e
File 145936280704.jpg - (236.47KB , 700x600 , ps12.jpg )

INTERROGATION START.
In the time you had between committing the deed and your RA coming to check up on you, you managed to do a lot of useless things before TAKING OFF YOUR BLOODY, INCRIMINATING CLOTHES. However, you put on a SLIGHTLY BLOODY HAT, thinking it would make you LOOK COOL. You really hope your roommate didn't have lice.

Thankfully, the hat is black and it's really hard to see the blood-- basically impossible.

You also put down your KNIFE so you could take off your shirt without ruining it. The KNIFE is on the COUNTER, which can't bee seen from the doorway.

You step out into the hall. It's common knowledge that RA's can't enter your room unless they have REASON TO BELIEVE YOU'VE BROKEN THE RULES. Right now, all you have to do is keep Rachel's suspicion to a minimum.

Your SHADES help hide some of your FRAYED NERVES. You're EMBARRASSED because you're standing in front of a girl in nothing but your underwear.

What you need to do now is CAREFULLY NAVIGATE THE CONVERSATION and KEEP RACHEL OUT OF YOUR ROOM.

It might be a good time to decide how good you are at talking to other people.

You've taken two speech classes, and one on leadership. That gives you eight [8] credits.

---COMMUNICATION, STAT!---
PERSUASIVE:
WITTY:
RHYTHMIC:
FLATTERING:

Before you choose, you might want to REFLECT ON WHAT THOSE SKILLS MEAN...

>reflect on what those skills mean

Put all points into PERSUASIVE.

PERSUADE her to go away.

Artsekey 2016/03/30(Wed)12:11 No. 712472 ID: 863b4e
File 145936506941.jpg - (130.59KB , 700x600 , ps13.jpg )

>>reflect on what those skills mean

You remember that being PERSUASIVE makes it easier to LIE and GET WHAT YOU WANT. You can make people think what you want them to think, do what you want them to do, but some people are more resistant to this than others. POLICE OFFICERS, WILD ANIMALS, and PROFESSORS are hard to persuade.

Being WITTY means you can come up with good comebacks, and you can dream them up fast. However, this doesn't mean you can always PERSUADE your target to believe what you're saying. This can help you win ARGUMENTS and MAKE FRIENDS.

Rhythm helps you never miss a beat in conversation. Awkward silences? Gone! Sure, you might not be WITTY enough to fill the silence with actual, good words, but hey-- at least it's something. Plus, keeping pace with the conversation can make your LIES more BELIEVABLE.

Having high Rhythm also gives you the ability to RHYME what you say if the need ever arises.

If you're FLATTERING, you can CHANGE THE TOPIC EASILY and MAKE FRIENDS. However, depending on the circumstances, it may be interpreted as FLIRTING. If used in the wrong place at the wrong time, the results could be disastrous!

You have EIGHT CREDITS, and will not be receiving any more in the foreseeable future. What skills will you invest in.

3 persuasive, 3 witty, 2 rythm or 1 rythm 1 flattering

8 into Persuade, bend everyone's minds to your whims.

>>712478
The latter should be good.

4 persuasive, 2 witty, 1 rhythm and 1 flattery

3 in both Persuasive and Witty, then put the remaining 2 points into Rhythmic and Flattery.

since most of the other skills key off of rhythm maybe it should be the highest?

3 rhythm, 2 persuade, 2 wit, 1 flattery ???

Artsekey 2016/03/30(Wed)16:02 No. 712536 ID: 863b4e
File 145937893306.jpg - (134.96KB , 700x600 , ps14.jpg )

>> 3 in both Persuasive and Witty, then put the remaining 2 points into Rhythmic and Flattery.
>> 3 persuasive, 3 witty, 2 rythm or 1 rythm 1 flattering

You have LEVEL THREE PERSUASION AND WIT, but LEVEL ONE RHYTHM and FLATTERY.

This means that you're pretty persuasive and you know what you're going to say when you lie, but you get tripped up when you're being asked lots of questions in succession. This leads to awkward pauses sometimes, and occasionally you'll get CONFUSED.

You couldn't flatter an egomaniac if you tried, and you can't flirt for shit, either.

Rachel is still waiting for your answer.

"Um," She rubs her arm uncertainly, still trying not to look at you in your underwear. You're still EMBARRASSED, and you lose some of your RHYTHM.
(-1 RHYTHM).

"He said he heard your roommate screaming like he was hurt. Where is he?"

>>712463
heavily imply you were having fun gay sex and you have him handcuffed to the bed and you want her to leave

Lie, but without lying!

"We were fighting over some leftover pasta. The good stuff, things got real heated."

>>712537
use your embarrassment to lend credibility to this interrupted bdsm argument

gay sex explains you in your underwear too.

>>712536
>>712537
"It's okay. We have a safeword."

You accidentally walked in on him in the shower.

Artsekey 2016/03/30(Wed)17:12 No. 712558 ID: 863b4e
File 145938312705.jpg - (187.86KB , 700x600 , ps15.jpg )

>>heavily imply you were having fun gay sex and you have him handcuffed to the bed and you want her to leave

>>gay sex explains you in your underwear too.

>>"It's okay. We have a safeword."

>>use your embarrassment to lend credibility to this interrupted bdsm argument



"Well," You begin your lie, blushing profusely, "things got a little, uh, out of hand in the bedroom."
Rachel is puzzled, and she looks a little disgusted.

"...What?" She asks. You realize that your roommate was dating LINDSEY, and you and your roommate have a REPUTATION FOR HATING ONE ANOTHER.

"Look, he said things were getting rocky with his girlfriend." Your WIT prevails, "he wanted to let off some steam."

She's definitely disgusted now. She's trying to hide it, but it isn't working. Thankfully, she doesn't know your personal exploits well enough to call them into question (there are no exploits, and if there were, you are pretty sure you would not be into anything that required a safe-word.)

She lets out a sigh, "Ohhhkay, could you at least let me see him?"

"He's a l-little tied up at the moment, if you know what I mean. Don't worry, we have a safeword." You lower your shades and WINK to be a little more PERSUASIVE.

"Okay. TMI, Issac." She pulls her phone from her pocket. It looks like she's texting someone...

You remember RACHEL and LINDSEY are BEST FRIENDS.

Uh oh.

"so yeah i'll uh, get back to it? before the mood /falls/, if you know what i mean..."
close the door and get to dragging the body into the fridge or freezer then mopping up the blood
do you have a basement? do you have a vehicle?

>>712558
So? What do you care about the reputation of a dead man? Unless LINDSEY comes here, that would be problematic. Okay, new plan, kill her too. decapitate the both of them so they can't get dental records, then burn down the building. Feed the heads to pigs or throw them into a lake, whichever you have closer.

>>712558
once again, get yourself scratched up a bit by his nails. Get dna evidence in there, make it look like he tried to kill you.
We even have a solid story now, he overheard you talking to the girl out there and, in a fit of panic over his girl finding out, attacked you.
We can DO THIS.

Well now I guess you'll have to kill her too.

for future reference, can we get a rundown on our the nature of our relationships w/ rachel and lindsay? is there anyone else who would come looking for brosius corpus here?

"Hey do you think you could do me a favour and go tell Lawrence and Jacob to go see a movie or something, so they don't have to hear us?
Can't promise we'll be quiet all day~"

Tell her to have a nice day and shut the door already, talking with her right now isn't going to help.
We might want to febreze the room or something, the smell of blood might tip people off before we are ready.

Artsekey 2016/03/30(Wed)19:57 No. 712619 ID: 863b4e
File 145939307015.jpg - (182.80KB , 700x600 , ps16.jpg )

>> "so yeah i'll uh, get back to it? before the mood /falls/, if you know what i mean..."
close the door and get to dragging the body into the fridge or freezer then mopping up the blood. do you have a basement? do you have a vehicle?

>>"Hey do you think you could do me a favour and go tell Lawrence and Jacob to go see a movie or something, so they don't have to hear us? Can't promise we'll be quiet all day~"

>>Tell her to have a nice day and shut the door already, talking with her right now isn't going to help. We might want to febreze the room or something, the smell of blood might tip people off before we are ready.

You start to close the door, "Sorry about that," You say, "and, uh, would you mind telling Jacob and Lawrence that we didn't mean to freak them out? We're not going to be done any time soon, so they might want to go see a movie or something."

Rachel looks at you like you just slapped her in the face with a dead rat. "Is this a joke?" She asks.

Rachel doesn't know you very well, but it's for damn sure that she didn't expect you to turn out to be a gay, home-wrecking sex fiend.

"Uh, no." You tell her, "look, he's probably going to start losing circulation soon. In some very important parts."
There's a pause.
"His di--"

"I get it!" Rachel cuts you off like you cut off your roommates hand.

"I get it, sorry to bother you. Have a nice night." She's looking at her phone instead of you now, typing like mad. She looks somewhere between mortified and incredulous, but you're now free to close the door and get back to doing what you were doing.

You don't have a lot of things in your room, but you do have a SHIT-TON OF FEBREEZE. Young men such as yourself don't do LAUNDRY. Why do laundry when you have the fresh scent of spring in a can??

---INVENTORY---
+ ONE CAN OF AEROSOL FEBREEZE
---

You spray the everloving hell out of the common area. You pay special attention to the corpse itself, which is still sort of just... oozing. Gross.

You would move the body if you could, but HE WEIGHS TOO MUCH and you AREN'T STRONG ENOUGH. And even if you could, the fridge has SHELVING BOLTED IN. He wouldn't fit!

You are pretty sure you could drag him for a while if you had to, but you'd definitely leave a TRAIL. If you had help, you could probably CARRY HIM.

You do have a CAR. It's a really crappy hand-me-down from your grandparents, and it seats four-- theoretically. If more than one person sits in the back, the bumper drags.

>>once again, get yourself scratched up a bit by his nails. Get dna evidence in there, make it look like he tried to kill you. We even have a solid story now, he overheard you talking to the girl out there and, in a fit of panic over his girl finding out, attacked you. We can DO THIS.

You don't really want to scratch yourself with a dead man's nails. Also, the guy was a vicious nail-biter so there's really nothing there to scratch yourself with.

>>for future reference, can we get a rundown on our the nature of our relationships w/ rachel and lindsay? is there anyone else who would come looking for brosius corpus here?

RACHEL is your RA, meaning she's one of the two people in charge of your floor. There's one man and one woman on each. The male RA's name is DAVID, and you met him at an obligatory meet-and-greet a few weeks ago. He's kind of a basement dwelling nerd. You don't think you'd get along with him.

LINDSEY comes over to your apartment all the time. She's a sweet girl and sports a pre-law major. You're on that "awkward hello when I see you outside the usual circumstances" level. Sometimes she doesn't recognize you. She likes taking SELFIES and runs a STUDY BLOG. You know this because you've heard her talk about both.

She's also best friends with RACHEL. They're in the same sorority, and Rachel is Lindsey's "big sister".

Lindsey's also banged your roommate on your living room couch way too many times.

She's shorter than you are, but she's sporty. She'd probably beat you in an arm wrestling match.

You've MASKED THE STENCH OF BLOOD and come to the conclusion that you can't MOVE THE BODY WITHOUT HELP. You think you could DRAG IT ON YOUR OWN, though, and have a car. The carpet is REALLY GETTING STAINED, and you don't have a MOP. Cleaning wasn't high on your list of priorities, but that doesn't mean your CLEANING CABINET is totally empty.

You bought yourself some time by getting Rachel off your back. You still have your PHONE, too.

call a bro to help you move that body. either your friend or jim. i trust jim.

Artsekey 2016/03/30(Wed)20:25 No. 712629 ID: 863b4e
File 145939473623.jpg - (154.76KB , 700x600 , ps17.jpg )

>>call a bro to help you move that body. either your friend or jim. i trust jim.

You pull out your PHONE. You don't want to talk about where you keeping it until right now.
[It was in your underwear. You didn't have any other pockets. God, college has made you into a monster.]

You can call JIM. You don't know him, but you met him outside the Arts Building. He asked to borrow your phone but put his NUMBER in instead. He seems like the kind of sketchy guy that would have hidden bodies before.

Your BEST BRO is on campus. He's in ROTC, and he's REALLY STRONG. But he's also committed more and more to the U.S. MILITARY since joining the program. You've grown apart a little since you MOVED OUT LAST SEMESTER due to money constraints, but you still see him PRETTY OFTEN.

You could also call your sister, but that would serve NO PURPOSE. She's on the other side of the U.S. and a humanities major. You know she would NEVER TURN YOU IN, though, so calling her might LIFT SOME WEIGHT OFF YOUR SHOULDERS.

...Might be best to deal with the crippling guilt after it actually sets in. You're still feeling pretty good.

Who do you call?

>>712629
Jim.
Bro probably has too strong a moral code.

would best bro rat us out? if not he seems awesome to have on our side

febreze phone to get rid of underwear stank

Well, with luck, the fallout from the social suicide you just simulated for your roommate will be sufficient cause to help people believe he committed actual suicide. For now, try Jim. That definitely sounds like a good idea, and not a bad one.

Let's call Jim.
Also if we can it might be a good idea to clean up as we talk on the phone, multitasking and what not.

Shit, these are all terrible choices. If only we'd had, like, 16 points to invest, maybe you'd have more friends.

Aaaanyway, Jim, I guess? God you're fucked.

>>712640

Artsekey 2016/03/31(Thu)14:27 No. 712725 ID: 06d992
File 145945963109.jpg - (224.57KB , 700x600 , ps18.jpg )

>> would best bro rat us out? if not he seems awesome to have on our side

You think about calling your BEST FRIEND, but you hesitate. What if he thinks you're a MONSTER? He is honor-bound to the government, which includes the law. He might call the POLICE on you! "For your own good," He might say.
You realize you don't TRUST HIM ENOUGH, and if he did turn you in, you'd have to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. You aren't sure you're that much of a MONSTER.
Yet.

>> Jim. Bro probably has too strong a moral code.

>> Well, with luck, the fallout from the social suicide you just simulated for your roommate will be sufficient cause to help people believe he committed actual suicide. For now, try Jim. That definitely sounds like a good idea, and not a bad one.

>> Let's call Jim. Also if we can it might be a good idea to clean up as we talk on the phone, multitasking and what not.

>> Shit, these are all terrible choices. If only we'd had, like, 16 points to invest, maybe you'd have more friends. Aaaanyway, Jim, I guess? God you're fucked.

You decide to call JIM, the strange guy you met outside the art building. He looks like he's got experience on the OTHER SIDE OF THE TRACKS, which is coincidentally where a lot of bodies end up. You have only spoken to him ONE TIME, and it was to let him borrow your phone. Maybe this is fate. Maybe his number is meant to be in your phone so you could manage to get out of this terrible situation you got yourself into.

So, you forgo calling your BEST FRIEND and ring up JIM THE STRANGER instead. You try to clean while you talk, but all you have is FEBREEZE. It's starting to smell like the perfume department in here.

Jim picks up after two tones, and he sounds dazed-- like you've just woken him up from a nap.
"Ayyyy," He says, "What's up, my ginger dude? I've been waiting for you to call."

You realize you never told Jim your name. What do you say?

"Hey so, how would you hypothetically react if I told you I'd killed someone and needed help?"

EAT BODY.
EAT CARPET.
EAT FLOOR.

If you can't eat a full CORPSE, then CUT the CORPSE into bite-sized PIECES and put them in the FREEZER for later.

>>712736
lol this. Also, I get the feeling like the DM is hinting we should call our best bro, instead.

Artsekey 2016/03/31(Thu)16:29 No. 712759 ID: 06d992
File 145946695928.jpg - (240.68KB , 700x600 , ps19.jpg )

>>"Hey so, how would you hypothetically react if I told you I'd killed someone and needed help?"

"Hey, so, how would you react-- hypothetically-- if I told you I killed someone and needed some help?" You say. It's a harmless hypothetical! After all, the idea that you've ACTUALLY killed anyone is ludicrous.

On the other end of the line, Jim's processing what you said. You haven't actually ever had a conversation before.

"Hardcore." He says it in that sort of reverant whisper a reverent action hero offers at the end of the movie while looking into the sunset. "I knew you looked like a good time."

You're not sure what you were expecting, but it wasn't that. When is accidental (on purpose) murder a good time for anyone???

"See, I took one look at you and just... knew, y'know?" Jim continues, "I knew we were gunna be friends. It's fate."

You aren't sure how to feel about this.

Artsekey 2016/03/31(Thu)16:30 No. 712761 ID: 06d992
File 145946704374.jpg - (1.91MB , 2250x3230 , jim.jpg )

[[ Also, here's an actual drawing of Jim. I wanted to draw his mohawk tbh. Click to view!]]

Well, hey, there's our guy! Tell him you meant it literally and to hurry his ass over here.

chop chop times a wastin! get your ass over here jimmy boy, we have some disposal to do. on that note, does jim have any cleaning supplies or cannibalistic tendencies?

Accept the terrible fate of becoming friends with this shady bemohawked dude?

"So can you help me or not? I'm running out of Febreeze here!"

Artsekey 2016/03/31(Thu)18:15 No. 712800 ID: 06d992
File 145947335462.jpg - (239.44KB , 700x600 , ps20.jpg )

>> Well, hey, there's our guy! Tell him you meant it literally and to hurry his ass over here.

"That's... good!" You say, "Remember when I said theoretical? It's not theoretical. I stabbed a guy, like... at least seven times. He's dead. And I really don't know what to do right now. I don't even have anything to clean this up with."

"Yeah, man. I get it. First rodeo, huh? That's rough."

Jim is WEIRDLY OKAY with what you've done.


>>chop chop times a wastin! get your ass over here jimmy boy, we have some disposal to do. on that note, does jim have any cleaning supplies or cannibalistic tendencies?

>>>>Accept the terrible fate of becoming friends with this shady bemohawked dude? "So can you help me or not? I'm running out of Febreeze here!"

"Uh, do you know how to handle stuff like this? I could really use some help." You say. This guy is taking the news really well, and seems willing to help.

"Yeah, I'll be right over. Still in 261?"

It seems that Jim KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE. On one hand, you think that's a little UNSETTLING, but on the other it saves you a LOT OF EXPLAINING.

You can either LIE or CONFIRM WHAT HE KNOWS.

Tell him the truth, duh.

>>712800
that would be a pretty dumb idea to lie, considering he is going to help you get rid of the body. But jsut to be safe you should talk to your sister after you are done talking to jim, since dealing with him might put you in a tight spot later on. Maybe even tell your best bro using VAGUE IMPLICATIONS about how you MAY have gotten yourself in trouble but you have a guy helping you out or something like that.

Lying to him, especially now, is a dumb idea since he's probably the only non-murdery accomplice you'll be getting in this endeavor. Maybe.

Artsekey 2016/03/31(Thu)18:39 No. 712809 ID: 06d992
File 145947477796.jpg - (74.88KB , 700x600 , ps21.jpg )

>>Tell him the truth, duh.

"...Yeah." You CONFIRM WHAT HE KNOWS without asking how he knows where you live.

"Cool shit." There's a really long pause. You think he might be waiting for you to HANG UP, but then he starts up again like he forgot he was on the phone. "Be up in a blink, fireballs."

Then the call ends.

You aren't sure how you feel about the nickname FIREBALLS.

You're out of FEBREEZE. You sprayed the ENTIRE CAN in the living room, and you are kind of surprised you aren't dead.

---INVENTORY---
-1 CAN OF AEROSOL FEBREEZE
---

What are you going to do between now and the time JIM arrives? You are still IN YOUR UNDERWEAR (- 1 RHYTHM) and are sporting a sick pair of CHEAP SHADES and a BLOODY HAT.

Ditch the Hat + Shades. Don't clump them up with the body, since your prints would be on them and if it's found it'd immediately be traced back to you. Like, find a way to burn them or something?

Might as well put on some clothes, since it'd be even more awkward to meet a creepy stranger you've only talked to today about disposing a dead body in your underwear. C'mon, we aren't animals here.

>>712807
I second this. Just in case Jim does something. I mean, he did know where we lived.

Artsekey 2016/03/31(Thu)19:06 No. 712813 ID: 06d992
File 145947641585.jpg - (147.20KB , 700x600 , ps23.jpg )

>>Ditch the Hat + Shades. Don't clump them up with the body, since your prints would be on them and if it's found it'd immediately be traced back to you. Like, find a way to burn them or something?

>> Might as well put on some clothes, since it'd be even more awkward to meet a creepy stranger you've only talked to today about disposing a dead body in your underwear. C'mon, we aren't animals here.

You take a minute to CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES and ditch the SHADES and the SLIGHTLY BLOODY HAT. You don't have any way to really dispose of them here-- no oven, no way to start a fire without risking the entire building-- so you stuff them both in your SPACIOUS HOODIE POCKET.

You put your PHONE in there, too. It's a lot more comfortable than keeping it in your BRIEFS, which you are still wearing.

>>you should talk to your sister after you are done talking to jim, since dealing with him might put you in a tight spot later on. Maybe even tell your best bro using VAGUE IMPLICATIONS about how you MAY have gotten yourself in trouble but you have a guy helping you out or something like that.

You look at your phone for a long moment. Given how the night is going so far (accidental murder, arranging a meeting with a TOTAL STRANGER), you think you ought to prepare a plan B.

Your SISTER will just WORRY ABOUT YOU. Your best friend, on the other hand...

You call him up. He picks up after the fourth ring, only barely managing to get to it. "What's up, man?"

"Hey, Hank," You say it sheepishly. Hank picks up on it instantly; you've known each other for years.

"What did you do?" He sighs. You are known for making STUPID MISTAKES, like that time you accidentally shredded your term paper last year. Hank is used to your stories about how much your day-to-day life SUCKS.

You decide to keep it vague, but it takes you too long to come up with something WITTY. (RHYTHM is too low.)

"Issac?" Hank sounds concerned.

"Yeah, I'm here." You sound nervous. He's on to you! "I just..."

Artsekey 2016/03/31(Thu)19:08 No. 712814 ID: 06d992
File 145947652029.jpg - (167.50KB , 700x600 , ps22.jpg )

Suddenly, there's a KNOCK AT THE DOOR.

It's been about four minutes since you talked to Jim, and you're on the phone with HANK.

Should you answer it?

Perfect! Use the door as an excuse to put the conversation with Hank on hold, then see who it is. That'd give us enough time to think up a good lie to tell Hank.

uh, is there any way we can check who it is before we answer? a peephole or something? because it might be Rachel or Lindsey...

>>712814
if there is no peep hole like >>712816 said, I don't think you should answer it. If it is Jim, he knows your cell phone number and can call if you don't answer the door. jsut pretend you were on the toilet or something if he gets upset.

Artsekey 2016/03/31(Thu)19:36 No. 712823 ID: 06d992
File 145947820325.jpg - (201.38KB , 700x600 , ps24.jpg )

>>Perfect! Use the door as an excuse to put the conversation with Hank on hold, then see who it is. That'd give us enough time to think up a good lie to tell Hank.

"Hold on, man. Someone's at the door." You don't hang up, keeping the phone in your hand.

>>uh, is there any way we can check who it is before we answer? a peephole or something? because it might be Rachel or Lindsey...

Thankfully, you remember that you can CHECK WHO'S ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR before opening it-- not that you'd need to with the way she's screaming.

"OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR," Lindsey commands, fists pulverizing the poor publicly funded door, "OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW! I knew you were a fuckboy, I KNEW it. And ISSAC, if you're in there-- hoh, I hope you go to church because you're going to meet Jesus REAL SOON."

She's furious. Given the fact that she thinks you were banging her devoted, straight boyfriend, it isn't that irrational.

You also think it's a bit insensitive that she assumes you're going to meet Jesus, seeing as you JEWISH and also PROBABLY GOING TO HELL. Joke's on her.

Thank god you thought to check.

You go back to your conversation with Hank. Unfortunately, he can hear Lindsey yelling in the background.

"What the hell's going on?" Hank sounds less put out and more involved now.

Okay okay, don't panic. Just...try to let the web of lies untangle itself in a little bit. Jim should be around soon, so he'd be able to defuse the Lindsey situation (i assume since it seems like he's covered for a murderer at least once before). Think up a convincing lie for Hank.

Uhh... April fools?

Artsekey 2016/03/31(Thu)20:03 No. 712833 ID: 06d992
File 145947978945.jpg - (148.13KB , 700x600 , ps25.jpg )

>>Okay okay, don't panic. Just...try to let the web of lies untangle itself in a little bit. Jim should be around soon, so he'd be able to defuse the Lindsey situation (i assume since it seems like he's covered for a murderer at least once before). Think up a convincing lie for Hank.

You decide to IGNORE LINDSEY with the hopes that Jim will show up soon and HANDLE IT. You don't know why you're putting so much faith in Jim. You saw him once, and he was eating styrofoam.
Ah, well. Beggars can't be choosers.

Lindsey keeps shouting in the background. If she continues, she will DISTURB THE OTHER RESIDENTS, and given what she's saying, NASTY RUMORS might start up.

You try to TUNE IT OUT, going back to your phone.

"Chris and Lindsey are having some fight," You lie. Your WIT fails to fail you-- or, uh... it's working, you guess. "But that's not why I'm calling you. I kind of got into some trouble... like, real trouble. But I'm handling it. If I don't call you later tonight, I'm going to need you to call the cops."

That was about as vague as you could make it, but it seems to make Hank even more CONCERNED. "The cops?! What did you do, Issac?" He lowers his voice, "Is it drugs?"

>>Uhh... April fools?

That would be a great excuse if it wasn't OCTOBER 22ND.

Kill her too!

Tell Hank you need some time to think but we will talk to him more later.
So how messy is the crime scene right now, is the blood still wet or has it dried, and are you against the idea of setting this whole building on fire?

You do have an interesting opportunity... deadly rage-filled girlfriend to a dead boyfriend. Opening the door gives you a chance to frame her.

>>712833
Nasty rumors are better than jail. You should prob give up the idea of attending brokeland in the future.

>>712851
THats a pretty big risk if we take it, things could go wekk if get everything set up correctly to put the blame square on her, but if we dont do that ther would be plenty of evidence against us. Personally I would say try to ignore it since we can still frame her as the angry girlfriend killing him later on.

>>712851
...hey yeah do that.
Hang up on Hank, get a blunt improvised weapon ready, open the door, show her the basement and hit her round the back of the head. Feel free to let her beat you up a little so it looks like a struggle.

Afterwards, say you were having kinky sex with her boyfriend, she comes in and kills him with a knife, then tells you to put the body in the basement. You then disarmed her and fought her, eventually being forced to kill her or even just knock her unconscious in self defense.

If she wakes up, it'll be her word against yours, with the evidence against her and no motive for you.

Artsekey 2016/04/01(Fri)08:37 No. 712968 ID: a2e923
File 145952504245.jpg - (245.97KB , 700x600 , ps26.jpg )

>>Tell Hank you need some time to think but we will talk to him more later. So how messy is the crime scene right now, is the blood still wet or has it dried, and are you against the idea of setting this whole building on fire?

You HANG UP on Hank in order to focus on the Lindsey situation.

You are PRETTY OPPOSED to setting the building on fire, seeing as at least TWENTY OTHER PEOPLE LIVE THERE, but you aren't very concerned with them. If you had the means to start the fire, you would then have to avoid the charge of ARSON.

The blood is starting to dry, but your roommate is also still bleeding. It's a gross process.

>>Kill her too!

>>You do have an interesting opportunity... deadly rage-filled girlfriend to a dead boyfriend. Opening the door gives you a chance to frame her.
>>Nasty rumors are better than jail. You should prob give up the idea of attending brokeland in the future.
>>THats a pretty big risk if we take it, things could go wekk if get everything set up correctly to put the blame square on her, but if we dont do that ther would be plenty of evidence against us. Personally I would say try to ignore it since we can still frame her as the angry girlfriend killing him later on.
>>...hey yeah do that.
Hang up on Hank, get a blunt improvised weapon ready, open the door, show her the basement and hit her round the back of the head. Feel free to let her beat you up a little so it looks like a struggle.

>>Afterwards, say you were having kinky sex with her boyfriend, she comes in and kills him with a knife, then tells you to put the body in the basement. You then disarmed her and fought her, eventually being forced to kill her or even just knock her unconscious in self defense.

>>If she wakes up, it'll be her word against yours, with the evidence against her and no motive for you.

You decide to OPEN THE DOOR. This is a great opportunity! Lindsey is on the warpath, and it'd be easy to frame HER for the murder. After all, when it comes down to it, it will be her word against yours. You don't have a BLUNT INSTRUMENT or a BASEMENT, but you do have the BUTTER KNIFE you used earlier.

You open the door, and

LINDSEY PUNCHES YOU RIGHT IN YOUR FUCKING FACE, YOU TOOL! You forgot she is SPORTY, and could BEAT YOU IN AN ARM WRESTLING MATCH. She's going to kick your ass, and what's worse-- she's chasing you back into your common area! She's going to see the body!

You're armed though, and are hopefully heavier than her. Plus, you're a hardened killer whereas she is just fighting to incapacitate. What you need to do is to tackle her with all of your weight, then stab her through the eye or shove your knife down her throat. After you've killed her be sure to get her fingerprints on the knife.

Well then run the other way you dingus! Or at least try to dodge around her and lead her into a different room.
Kinda confusing why she's beat you up first instead of her boyfriend, though.

Go for the boobs. Not only are they sensitive to physical force, she'll probably be very surprised by your grabby hands and back off for at least a moment.

>>712977
>Kinda confusing why she's beat you up first instead of her boyfriend, though.

A lot of people attack the "rival" first in situations of infidelity. Especially if they dominate in the relationship with their partner.

>>712968
Wait till she sees the body, then hit her in the head when she's staring in shock. SURPRISE ATTACK BITCH

Artsekey 2016/04/01(Fri)17:54 No. 713116 ID: 98c6ce
File 145955846431.jpg - (249.74KB , 700x600 , ps27.jpg )

>>You're armed though, and are hopefully heavier than her. Plus, you're a hardened killer whereas she is just fighting to incapacitate. What you need to do is to tackle her with all of your weight, then stab her through the eye or shove your knife down her throat. After you've killed her be sure to get her fingerprints on the knife.
.
>>Go for the boobs. Not only are they sensitive to physical force, she'll probably be very surprised by your grabby hands and back off for at least a moment.

>>Wait till she sees the body, then hit her in the head when she's staring in shock. SURPRISE ATTACK BITCH

You GO FOR THE BOOBS! They're the first thing you can think of to attack in this situation. After all, a girl's boobs are just like a guys balls, right? Good for a good time, bad for a bad time.

Unfortunately, you dropped your KNIFE when she DECKED YOU IN THE FACE. You can't stab her, and grabbing her boobs only makes her pause for a MOMENT before getting ANGRIER.

Hey, at least you got some titty action before you die.

She is so focused on throttling you that she doesn't see the body behind you!

You think you can choke out ONE SENTENCE before she renders you UNABLE TO SPEAK.

She is both TALLER and MORE PHYSICALLY IMPOSING than you are. You have not GONE TO THE GYM ever, and she is a GYM RAT.

God, you hope JIM gets here soon!

Tell her she's about to give you the best orgasm of your life. Not ... in those exact words, but something that gets the point across that you're totally getting off on this.

Because even if she kills you, thinking that she succumbed to your twisted fetish will stain her mind forever.

>>713116
"HE'S DEAD HE TRIED TO KILL ME WHEN HE HEARD ME TALKING TO THE RA AAAAAA"

"This... is my fetiiiish..."

That'll get her to back off for sure.

You are all SINNERS and we're going to HELL. <3

how about "HE LEFT"?? Maybe she'll try and go track down her boyfriend?

Suggestion 2016/04/01(Fri)19:12 No. 713151 ID: 98c6ce
File 145956316840.jpg - (226.17KB , 700x600 , ps28.jpg )

>>Tell her she's about to give you the best orgasm of your life. Not ... in those exact words, but something that gets the point across that you're totally getting off on this. Because even if she kills you, thinking that she succumbed to your twisted fetish will stain her mind forever.

"This's... my... fetiiiissshhh..." You say. It takes her a moment to process what sacrilegious phrase just came out of your mouth, and when it finally hits home, she drops you like you're hot.

"You fucking sicko!" She shouts. The door is still open, and someone will undoubtedly HEAR HER.

You now bare the SIGNS OF A STRUGGLE.

Wink.

She... She thinks we're hot?

Ask her how her day is going while slowly pushing out the door.

commence sloppy makeouts

"awh you're cute like your boyfriend"

as soon as she leaves, ask jim if he has any spare rope or something we can plant at the scene

"yes (;"
the body is behind you right, just keep her focus on you and not your shitty roommate
EITHER
push her out [by the titty?] explaining how he ran for it when the RA interrupted
OR
tell her you thought they had an open relationship!! you didnt know he was keeping you a secret.
then tell her how he tried to kill you when he heard what you said to the RA, so you killed HIM. now please help us hide the body

Hmm... okay, she's in a pretty good position to be framed right now, she has a more obvious motive than you do, and it looks like she has beaten the shit out of you. The only issue right now is that the knife still has your prints on it. If we can somehow trick her into grabbing the knife then that would be ideal. Glance really obviously at the knife a few times before making a go for it, hopefully she'll grab it before you do. After that all you have to do is keep her from killing you, which shouldn't be too hard considering that people should be showing up soon now.

>>713264
We should NOT tell her we killed her boyfriend. Shes gonna get the cops!

>>713268
fair, true, i rescind my suggestion
and the knife is still bloody, dont draw attention to it
just..

Pick up the knife by the blade and hand it to her, so she gets her prints on the handle, then run out in the hall and report to the RA that there's been a murder and an attempted-murder, either of which could be construed as a hate crime.

Suggestion 2016/04/05(Tue)18:41 No. 714075 ID: 8fe9df
File 145990691799.jpg - (221.35KB , 700x600 , ps29.jpg )

>>the body is behind you right, just keep her focus on you and not your shitty roommate
>>EITHER
>>push her out [by the titty?] explaining how he ran for it when the RA interrupted
OR
>>tell her you thought they had an open relationship!! you didnt know he was keeping you a secret.
>>then tell her how he tried to kill you when he heard what you said to the RA, so you killed HIM. now please help us hide the body

"Look, I know the stuff you just heard probably sounds CRAZY right now, right? Your straight hunk of man-meat just up and starts batting for the other team, that's gunna make you feel threatened. But I-- also, feel threatened. Because--"
Your RHYTHM fails you.

"YOU feel threatened? You?" She jabs her index finger into your chest, fuming. Her eyes don't look past you, and the smell of FEBREEZE assaults her nose. It effectively masks the stench of BLOOD. "No. Nuh uh, Isaac. I am going to RUIN you, you kinky fucker."

"Let me finish!" You plead, "Your boyfriend told me you were in an open relationship. He said he talked to you about it!"

That makes her go quiet, and then skeptical. "Well, we did-- but that was before the..." Her face lights up with a devilish smirk. "Enjoy your herpes, asshole."

You are suddenly very, very glad that this whole escapade is actually an elaborate lie. Your RHYTHM fails you again, and your reaction is NOTABLY DELAYED.

"He had herpes?!"

Lindsey folds her arms, looking more than satisfied, "HAS. Currently. And now you do, too. Sucks to suck-- hah. Literally. Because you're..."

You pretend to be DEVASTATED. Honestly, because you went to a STATE FUNDED PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL, you know jack shit about sex. You really don't know how bad herpes is. She buys it.

"What a scumbag," You mumble, "And can you believe he left after Rachel came by? Right when we were--"

"Ohhh my god, shut up," Lindsey pulls out her phone and takes a quick picture of your SPOT-ON EXPRESSION. That epiphany you had early was right! THEATER is where you were MEANT TO BE.

Lindsey has her eyes on her phone, and is typing like mad. "Do you prefer the caption 'herpes hoe' or--"

You realize the BODY will be in the background of the photo.

Suddenly, someone else is in the doorway. He doesn't look like he gives a fuck about anything going on, but that might have something to do with his BLOODSHOT EYES and EARBUDS playing music so loudly you can HEAR IT. He's apparently into ELECTROSWING.

It's Jim, and he's got a duffel bag over his shoulder. What do you do?

smack the phone out of her hands and stomp on it. using facial expressions, scream at Jim for help.

I was about to say how herpes probably isn't as bad as it seems and to chill out over it, but then I remembered we never actually had sex with the guy. Your acting skills are spot-on, if you can convince the voices in your head.

Try to stall until Jim can do something to remedy the situation. Furiously try to telepathically tell him to not murder her (just in case he was planning to do that).

Try to convince her to take another pic. hopefully she's using snapchat and the unused pic will be deleted.
OR
Snatch her phone and delete the pic, preferably while whatshisface makes a distraction.

Wait, why weren't you standing between her and the body!?

Snatch phone and stick it into your mouth or your pants, where ever you think she would hesitate to reach for it. In that moment try to gesture to Jim to knock this chick out, without her knowing he's here if you can.

In for a penny, in for a pound. Gesture for Jim to knock her out and you'll go dump both of them in the lake.

Grab the phone and stick it in your pants and shove her away oh my god dont kill her too

Try to convince her to not use the pic/let you delete it(he lied to you about a few things, and youre already getting screwed enough as it is.) as you lead her out the door. We need to get her out before she calms down enough to realize that the dead guy is right there. Dont kill her.

Also ask if he had Hiv or aids. Would lend credence to your concern, and those actually would affect you since youve got his blood on you.

Wait, dont kill her because she's your alibi, she's a witness that you Didn't kill him
Sorry for double post but I'm on a glorified brick

Artsekey 2016/04/07(Thu)18:37 No. 714589 ID: cb43e6
File 146007945861.jpg - (266.63KB , 700x600 , ps30.jpg )

>>Try to stall until Jim can do something to remedy the situation. Furiously try to telepathically tell him to not murder her (just in case he was planning to do that).
>>Snatch phone and stick it into your mouth or your pants, where ever you think she would hesitate to reach for it. In that moment try to gesture to Jim to knock this chick out, without her knowing he's here if you can.

>>In for a penny, in for a pound. Gesture for Jim to knock her out and you'll go dump both of them in the lake.

>>Grab the phone and stick it in your pants and shove her away oh my god dont kill her too

>> Dont kill her.

>>Also ask if he had Hiv or aids. Would lend credence to your concern, and those actually would affect you since youve got his blood on you.

>>Wait, dont kill her because she's your alibi, she's a witness that you Didn't kill him


You decide AGAINST motioning for Jim to do anything drastic like KNOCK HER OUT, and instead opt to STUFF HER SMARTPHONE IN YOUR MOUTH. You would have gone with your pants, but you are kind of afraid she would GET HANDSY down there.

You ACT FAST, and don't have time to ASK ABOUT OTHER DISEASES.

Fortunately, before you can stuff the makeup stained cellphone into your face hole, Jim steps in and shoves her out of the way by the face. It's PRETTY AGGRESSIVE, and you hear Lindsey's NECK CRACK like it might at the Chiropractor. She has been turned in such a way that she is no LOOKING BEYOND YOU and FACING THE BODY.

Jim pulls the door shut behind himself a second later.

Lindsey, meanwhile, is STILL LOOKING AT THE BODY. She's frozen for a moment, but you know she is about to SCREAM, and you have heard your roommate bang her enough to know she has the LUNGS OF AN OLYMPIC SPRINTER.

Jim sticks his hands back into the pocket of his hoodie. He is WAITING.

What do you do?

---INVENTORY---
+LINDSEY'S CELL PHONE
--- YOU STILL HAVE...---
HOODIE
PANTS
UNDERWEAR

You are not very STRONG. You are WITTY and PERSUASIVE, but you do not have time to utilize EITHER in the time between now and the time she will undoubtedly SCREAM.

It feels like time has slowed down. You feel like you can CONSIDER YOUR SURROUNDINGS and OPTIONS without WASTING TIME.

CONSIDER SURROUNDINGS and OPTIONS

Would it be feasible for you to slam your right hand into her jaw/throat in order to silence her?

>>714589
Let's CONSIDER YOUR SURROUNDINGS and OPTIONS first, but based off of our current info, I'd get Jim to knock her out and then claim to the police that he saved our lives just in time. Keep the phone, too; it will look like she killed him and took a trophy picture of us looking sad and broken right before she went to kill us, too. Good theatrics, by the way. Also, don't try to hide the body, it will just look suspicious for us. You can even tell Jim to ditch the duffel bag. Also, if you actually have any bondage gear, it would be best to set it up in the bedroom so our story will be more believable. Alternatively, tie her up with it so that it looks like we restrained her before she could kill us. If we deal with her non-lethally, it will make you look less like a murderer. Either way, put her fingerprints on the butter knife. If anyone wonders why it has your finger-prints on it: well, it is your butter knife.
I almost feel bad for the poor girl. She really chose the wrong d-bag to fuck and the wrong roommate to fuck with.

Artsekey 2016/04/07(Thu)19:45 No. 714611 ID: cb43e6
File 146008353417.jpg - (157.15KB , 700x600 , ps31.jpg )

>>Consider your OPTIONS and SURROUNDINGS.

You think it over. You've decided you don't want to hurt her, but you can't let her SCREAM give you away.

>>Would it be feasible for you to slam your right hand into her jaw/throat in order to silence her?

You have a clever idea! Punching her in the throat will make it impossible for her to scream, and buy you more PRECIOUS TIME. You think you can DEFINITELY HANDLE THAT.

>>I'd get Jim to knock her out and then claim to the police that he saved our lives just in time. Keep the phone, too; it will look like she killed him and took a trophy picture of us looking sad and broken right before she went to kill us, too. Good theatrics, by the way. Also, don't try to hide the body, it will just look suspicious for us. You can even tell Jim to ditch the duffel bag. Also, if you actually have any bondage gear, it would be best to set it up in the bedroom so our story will be more believable. Alternatively, tie her up with it so that it looks like we restrained her before she could kill us. If we deal with her non-lethally, it will make you look less like a murderer. Either way, put her fingerprints on the butter knife. If anyone wonders why it has your finger-prints on it: well, it is your butter knife.
>>I almost feel bad for the poor girl. She really chose the wrong d-bag to fuck and the wrong roommate to fuck with.

After that, you think you will shoot Jim a look. You hope he will know you want him to KNOCK LINDSEY OUT.

You can't tell how strong he is underneath his hoodie, and it will take a CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF STRENGTH to put her down in one blow. It is a GAMBLE.


You have a feeling this choice will have SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES.

Are you sure this is your plan? You are confident you can take care of your part, but you aren't sure about Jim.


[CONFIRM]
or
[RETHINK. SUGGEST AGAIN.]

If you are going to try and keep her alive and blame her for things you are going to have to fuck your roomates corpse you know. Cause if you tell them the story as is they are going to check for fluids. I mean half that story relies on you having sex with him for the past few hours and then him getting killed in a crazed lovers spat. And that sort of thing is standard evidence gathering in a sex murder.

Just saying.

Suggestion 2016/04/07(Thu)20:30 No. 714627 ID: aedc16
File 146008623040.jpg - (94.74KB , 728x546 , chokehold.jpg )

>>714611
if we are going to be punching her in the throat, i think that jim is going to have to choke her out with a chokehold rather than trying to knock her out with a strike, since that is pretty hard to do by itself even if youw were strong enough. At that point what we are going to have to try to do is restrain her arms so she cant elbow him, so we would have to try and bear hug her with her arms at the side while protecing our groin from getting kneed.

That being said we still dont know how solid her alibi is, or what she is going to say when she testifies against us, so it might be more prudent to try and convince her that he attacked us over sexual assault or something and we ended up killing him in self defence. It seems like she didnt like him that much anymore anyway.

>>714625
We dont really NEED to fuck the corpse, he could just get a condom, jack off and cum into the condom, then put the used condom onto a dildo and fuck the corpse with that. That would explain why he doesn’t have herpes even though his roommate had it. But before that, he would need to examine the body first and see where his roommate had herpes and where it could have been transmitted to him if he was fucking his roommate.

Lets not worry about the fucking logistics right now (pun intended). Are there any other options we can look at for lindsey before we decide?

Scream first. Scream loud. Try to thrust the knife into her hand. She might be stunned enough to grab it. Don't try to attack her. You already bear the signs of a struggle while she doesn't have a scratch on her.

RETHINK, jim is s fuckifn stoner he doesn't know shit

Yes to "plan"

I dunno about the "have Jim knock her out" part of the plan. I mean, he almost broke her neck just turning her head to the side! Who knows how hard he'll whack her? Might even kill her - he doesn't seem like the guy to care for semantics.

Punch her throat, that's good, but maybe do the knocking-out part without Jim's help. The chokehold's a good bet.

>>714738
yes chokehold is a go

and oh my god @ the people figuring out the logistics of sexing a corpse thats completely irrelevant, for all anyone knows issac just fingered him or bossed him around, dont fuck the corpse /dont fuck the corpse/

>>714743
I'm pretty sure Artskey won't let us take maximum horrible routes.

>>714745
We started out murdering our roommate for rotten food, I'm pretty sure we're going places.

Artsekey 2016/04/08(Fri)13:25 No. 714751 ID: dd4cbd
File 146014710492.jpg - (262.57KB , 700x600 , ps32.jpg )

>>Yes to "plan"
>>Lets not worry about the fucking logistics right now (pun intended).

You punch Lindsey in the THROAT before she can SCREAM. You aren't very strong, but you don't need to be to cut her off. She's dazed and gasps for air in the next second. She won't be able to make any sound for at least a minute.

While it doesn't sound like a lot of time, it feels like forever.

You decide not to SCREAM, though you think about it. With Lindsey unable to make any noise, it seems like calling attention to your room is a BAD IDEA.

The butter knife, now a MURDER WEAPON, is still on the COUNTER where you left it because you never thought to PICK IT UP.

You give Jim a LOOK, telling him it's time to ACT. You hope he'll pick up on it.

You hope he knows better than to try to hit her over the head.

Images with a SPATTERED FRAME are a warning that your ACTIONS are leading to LETHAL CONSEQUENCES.

Artsekey 2016/04/08(Fri)13:29 No. 714753 ID: dd4cbd
File 146014738640.jpg - (189.99KB , 700x600 , ps33.jpg )

Jim picks up on your look, and pulls what appears to be WIRE out of the POCKET OF HIS HOODIE. Guess he wasn't just shoving his hands in his pockets to look cool.

Lindsey stumbled back, still reeling from your successful THROAT PUNCH, and Jim LOOPS THE WIRE OVER HER HEAD to pull back hard.

This is not what you meant! How could Jim not have known exactly what you wanted through your EMOTIONAL EYE FUCKERY? You thought you had really communicated there for a second, but now--

If you don't intervene, Lindsey might end up SEVERELY INJURED. That wire's going to cut more than just her air supply!

>>714751
Long as it ain't lethal for us, that's probably okay at this point. You can't un-kill your roommate.
She knows too much, what else *can* you do with her?

Gahh, I knew Jim would do something drastic!

Quick, tell him to NOT kill her! Just knock her out or something! We don't want more deaths!

Good, dead men tell no tales.

Bring her down!

Let's just let him kill her. Keeping her alive isn't going to be helpful and will probably cause more problems.

((http://www.tgchan.org/kusaba/questdis/res/98952.html

There's now a DISCUSSION THREAD for this quest. Discuss the story, choices, and ask questions there if you want! ))

>>714753
Welp, it's too late now. Let the bodies pile up! FORM A TOWER TO THE HEAVENS WITH THEIR BONES!

Tell Jim to cut her head off.

Artsekey 2016/04/08(Fri)14:54 No. 714794 ID: dd4cbd
File 146015248443.jpg - (226.13KB , 700x600 , ps34.jpg )

>>Long as it ain't lethal for us, that's probably okay at this point. You can't un-kill your roommate. She knows too much, what else *can* you do with her?

>>Good, dead men tell no tales.

>>Bring her down!

>>Let's just let him kill her. Keeping her alive isn't going to be helpful and will probably cause more problems.

>>Welp, it's too late now. Let the bodies pile up! FORM A TOWER TO THE HEAVENS WITH THEIR BONES!

>>Tell Jim to cut her head off.

Your moral compass fails you, and you DO NOTHING. You think about telling him not to kill her, but it's a lot EASIER to keep your mouth shut.

This guy-- Jim-- he looks like he knows what he's doing, which means your chances of getting out of this without going to jail are SKYROCKETING.

Lindsey's chances of seeing tomorrow, however, are not looking so good.

As in they're completely gone.

She was an HONORS STUDENT studying LAW. She would have graduated and gone on to be the kind of person that puts people like you BEHIND BARS-- the kind of person that got justice for brutal murders like this.

So, all in all, it's probably a good thing you got her out of your life now. If she lived, she might go on to VOW TO HUNT YOU DOWN. She might have made it her life's goal, and they probably would have made a movie out of it. It'd end happily for everyone. You and your accomplice behind bars, her in her pencil skirt walking out of court triumphant. Too feelsy for your taste.

So, yeah. This was a good call, you tell yourself. One less bad cop movie in the world.

Jim does not let her HIT THE GROUND HARD. Once her knees give out, he GENTLY LOWERS HER so she doesn't make a sound.

Her neck is BLEEDING BADLY, and she stops moving after a few seconds of sputtering. It's kind of hard to watch. You feel a little nauseous.

Jim bundles up the wire and stuffs it back in his pocket, brushing off his hands on his jeans. He's got BLOOD ON HIS SLEEVES from LINDSEY.

You look at one another for moment, and Jim breaks the silence as he lets his bag drop off his shoulder onto the floor. "Nice throat punch," He says. "That was real clever."

What do you do?

Well sure this is good for us in the long run but who knows what'll happen in like a couple months when we get fingered for the murder(s)? Or some totally innocuous crime that leads the cops onto us for the murders?

Well, no point in dwelling on the past. Murder is murder and no amount of sober reflection can change it. Start coming up with a plan with Jim.

Compliment the man, I mean he barely knew you and he's already ready to wire someone for you.

Well, if you redefine your moral compass to be pointing towards 'getting you out of this without going to jail,' it's working fine.
Time to clean up this mess. Make sure she doesn't bleed all over the place by tying something around the wound.

Check her texts and calls. Who was she last in contact with, and might they come looking for her? Congrats, now you're a stalker too.

Artsekey 2016/04/08(Fri)16:06 No. 714843 ID: dd4cbd
File 146015680716.jpg - (183.12KB , 700x600 , ps35-5.jpg )

>>Compliment the man, I mean he barely knew you and he's already ready to wire someone for you.

You shoot Jim a smile. You think he's earned it seeing as he just KILLED SOMEONE FOR YOU. "Thanks," You say. You feel a little weird accepting a complement about punching someone in the throat, but you doubt you'll ever have the opportunity to accept a complement about your throat-punching skills ever again.
"Nice, uh. That." You motion to Lindsey's lifeless corpse. Your wit fails you.

"Nah, can't take all the credit. It was a team effort," Jim decides,"Fifty percent you, fifty percent me, one hundred percent sweet adrenaline rush. Good shit. You feelin' it?"

He kneels down and starts DIGGING THROUGH HIS BAG.

Are you feeling it? You don't know.

You still haven't told Jim your NAME. You think you might have to soon-- creating a NEW YOU might be a good idea.

Artsekey 2016/04/08(Fri)16:09 No. 714846 ID: dd4cbd
File 146015694553.jpg - (65.89KB , 700x600 , ps36.jpg )

>>Well, if you redefine your moral compass to be pointing towards 'getting you out of this without going to jail,' it's working fine. Time to clean up this mess. Make sure she doesn't bleed all over the place by tying something around the wound. Check her texts and calls. Who was she last in contact with, and might they come looking for her? Congrats, now you're a stalker too

While you think this over, you check out LINDSEY'S PHONE. It's LOCKED. You could either try to GUESS THE PASSCODE or try to USE THE FINGER SCANNER.

You might also be able to PEEK INTO JIM'S BAG while he's digging through it, but you can't do both at once.

You will see whats in his bag soon enough. Go scan that phone on her dead hands.

Name: Why not use your (ex) roommate's name instead? At least if word gets around, you could plausibly deny being the aggressor. Maybe.

Let Jim do Jim. Might not be best to get too nosy around him, since you shouldn't 100% trust someone willing to kill for fun. Use Lindsey's finger to unlock her phone - it's not like she'll object to any of it.

Yeah her finger will do well enough on her own.

Give her phone a fingering.

You should feel ashamed of even thinking of snooping in Jim's belongings, that would be rude! >:(

>>714794
Alright I think we may have landed into a really fucked up situation. Two people have just died in our company. A large commotion was made right before both killings so people know that they were alive before the shenanigans happened. Neither of the victims are going to leave the dorm alive, and people will notice they have gone missing. Lindsey has died from being garroted by razor wire, which isn't commonly found in a college student’s dorm, from behind so we can't claim we killed her while she was attacking you. And even if you get away with all of that, you still have to worry about the homicidal, morally bankrupt electroswing enthusiast in front of you. If you want to pin this on anyone, he is pretty much the last person you can do that to, and he might already have realized this. Even if he doesn't try to preemptively kill us before we can pin this on him, we would still be indebted to him, and who knows what that entails.

But for now we should just do what Jim tells us to do, but if we aren’t going to try to kill Jim and pin this on him, then we might want to plan on buying one way tickets to Cuba or something to try and put some distance between him and us.

Artsekey 2016/04/08(Fri)17:13 No. 714890 ID: dd4cbd
File 146016083717.jpg - (198.21KB , 700x600 , ps39.jpg )

>>Give her phone a fingering.

>>You should feel ashamed of even thinking of snooping in Jim's belongings, that would be rude! >:(

>>You will see whats in his bag soon enough. Go scan that phone on her dead hands.

Because JIM KILLED LINDSEY and YOU GRABBED HER PHONE, you can use the FINGER SCANNER. Her hands are still warm.

Gross, you sicko.

After a small delay, her phone is unlocked. She has a few UNREAD TEXT MESSAGES and NO MISSED CALLS.

You realize that you can't change her pass code without knowing what her old one was, and you won't be able to unlock her phone again without her finger-print. You either need to make this count or find a work-around. You know you can cause a SHIT TON OF DRAMA with this-- Lindsey was a cornerstone of the Brokeland social scene.

Jim is still rustling around in his bag. You've successfully BOUGHT YOURSELF TIME-- you're not expecting anyone to come to your door for the rest of the night.

>>714890
Mae sure to type like she does. I remember hearing a story of a murderer who got caught because he texted in proper English.
Learn her habits before you do anything else

Read text messages. You could always take her finger with you, not like she needs it anymore.

Artsekey 2016/04/08(Fri)19:18 No. 714938 ID: dd4cbd
File 146016830752.jpg - (83.95KB , 700x600 , ps40.jpg )

>>Make sure to type like she does. I remember hearing a story of a murderer who got caught because he texted in proper English. Learn her habits before you do anything else


>>Read text messages. You could always take her finger with you, not like she needs it anymore.

You open up her TEXT MESSAGES. Her most recent conversation is with RACHEL, your RA and Lindsey's sorority sister.

-- You ok girl?? I can swoop in and lay out some whoopass.
-- The kind that only an RA can dish out
-- I can get him kicked out for the semester. idk what it'll be over but i can make it happen.

You ignore what a blatant abuse of power that is and how it corresponds with injustice in the system and decide to REPLY to keep her suspicion to a minimum.

Your fingers hover over the keyboard for a second before you think to IMITATE LINDSEY'S TEXTING STYLE.

-- ugh, its fine. i handled it. me and gabe are DONE.

Rachel's text back is almost instant.

-- DAMN RIGHT. he was such a scumbag. I told you to drop him after he gave you herpes lin.
-- You need me to come over with that rocky road??

You respond quickly.
-- not tonight. not ready.

Rachel BUYS IT. Your WIT pays off.

--kk, lemme kno if you need anything. ive got your back!! <3

Crisis=averted.

You put the phone back into your pocket. Having it with you will buy you more time-- you can keep her PARENTS and FRIENDS under the impression that she's alive and well-- hell, you might be able to SEND OUT SOMETHING THAT WILL CLEAR YOUR NAME, but now isn't the time. You have BODIES to deal with.

You realize that all you need to do to keep access to her phone is...

Take one of her fingers.

What the FUCK is WRONG WITH YOU?? This isn't what you were going to do with your night. You were going to eat some of your mom's DELICIOUS PASTA SALAD, and now you are kind of okay with hacking off digits. Why is this happening to you?

Regardless, you reach for the butter knife on the counter.

Jim whistles to get your attention.
"Use this," he says. He has a HACK SAW, and he's offering it to you.

It looks like it came from his BAG. You think it's kind of weird that he knew what you were going to do-- he must be REALLY INTUITIVE.

You take it from him and then SAW OFF ONE OF LINDSEY'S FINGERS. This is disgusting. You feel nasty, and not in the sort of hot way.

It's better than going to jail, you think.


---INVENTORY---
HOODIE
PANTS
UNDERWEAR
LINDSEY'S PHONE
+HACK SAW
+LINDSEY'S FINGER

There's a LOT OF BLOOD on the carpet. Now that you have JIM with you, you think you can MOVE THE BODIES, but only one at a time.

"We've gotta get 'em out of here before we clean house," Jim says, standing up. He's wearing a pair of RUBBER KITCHEN GLOVES, and offers a pair to you. He's come prepared.

Well get gloved up and follow his lead. Chat about what happens next.

>>714938
Do you have any vodka? Drop the finger in there so it'll last longer.

Artsekey 2016/04/08(Fri)20:01 No. 714978 ID: dd4cbd
File 146017089502.jpg - (214.09KB , 700x600 , ps41.jpg )

>>Well get gloved up and follow his lead. Chat about what happens next.

You love gloves. Like, really. You have a thing for gloves. They make you feel like a DOCTOR. That is to say, they make you feel like you haven't disappointed your parents horrendously by becoming a Theater major.

They also do that thing where they protect your hands from getting soggy while you wash dishes. You hate soggy hands. Gloves are great.

You love them.

So you put those suckers right on and make grabby hands to test out their FLEXIBILITY and make SQUEAKY NOISES.

Jim looks confused, but smiles at you FONDLY.

That reminds you that you have SERIOUS BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO, and you decide to CHAT WITH HIM ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

"Where're we moving these to?" You ask. Jim did just say they had to move the bodies before they could start cleaning.

"You got any garbage bags?" Jim asks.

You do in fact have SEVERAL GARBAGE BAGS. Your roommate purchased them when you moved in.

"Yeah."

"Sweet. Get choppin', my man."

You look at the HACKSAW you left beside LINDSEY'S CORPSE. These GLOVES make you feel like you can do anything, but you are really hoping he's not telling you to CUT UP THE BODIES.

(He's definitely telling you to cut up the bodies.)

Jim starts digging through his bag again, and then says, "Don't answer it."

Your phone rings. It's HANK.

>>714978
Shouldn't you move the bodies into the bathtub before you chop them up?

Don't answer the phone, follow senpai's lead.

Let the phone ring and drag the body to the tub or something. Will make dealing with the blood torrent easier.

Also consider burning down the building to cover your tracks. Much later though.

yeah we gotta make sure there's no more bloodsplatter, get 'em in the tub then chop snip schwop

>Jim starts digging through his bag again, and then says, "Don't answer it."

>Your phone rings. It's HANK.

HOLY FUCK. Can we suspect Jim of being a psychic right now? A lot of evidence points to him being psychic.

Uhh, don't answer it. Listen to the weirdly knowledgeable Jim.

>>714984
suggest that to Jim and see what he thinks also might as well get any spare towels in the house (make sure to leave your own and your roommates) and maybe some heavy blankets to soak up the blood

>>714978
Wait, did he ask you not to pick up the phone before it rang?
Uhh

Artsekey 2016/04/08(Fri)21:13 No. 715050 ID: dd4cbd
File 146017520752.jpg - (242.32KB , 700x600 , ps42.jpg )

>>Shouldn't you move the bodies into the bathtub before you chop them up?

>>Don't answer the phone, follow senpai's lead.

>>Let the phone ring and drag the body to the tub or something. Will make dealing with the blood torrent easier.

>>yeah we gotta make sure there's no more bloodsplatter, get 'em in the tub then chop snip schwop

>>HOLY FUCK. Can we suspect Jim of being a psychic right now? A lot of evidence points to him being psychic.

>>Uhh, don't answer it. Listen to the weirdly knowledgeable Jim.

>>suggest that to Jim and see what he thinks

You don't answer your phone.

You decide you're OKAY with chopping the corpses in your living room to bits, but know that you ought to do the deed in the bathroom instead of out in the carpeted living room. You drag Gabe SLOWLY, since it's all you can manage.

"How'd you know my phone was going to go off?" You ask, hauling the oozing corpse past the kitchen area.

"Saw it light up through your hoodie," Jim replied.

You try to get a READ on him. You don't know him well enough yet to tell if he is LYING-- not that you believe in the supernatural or anything. It's against what you believe in.

Though you were arguably against murder until three hours ago, so you guess your worldview has some growing up to do.

"...Uh," Jim says, looking at you, "What happened to that guy's hand?"


... You don't want to talk about it, honestly. It was a crime of passion! Everything is a blur.

"We've gotta make sure we've got all his bits."

"Don't worry about it," You say.

Also, if you want to blog/tweet/whatever about this quest, please use the tag PASTAQUEST! That way I can find the stuff.

If you want to follow my blog, it's artsekey.tumblr.com.

Realize that with your newfound ability to be ok with even the worst crimes you'd make for an excellent CEO.
You can still make use of that acting career too, it'll make you a more efficient Liar!

If you really ate it, then just tell him it's taken care of. If you need to... extract it, do so in the bathroom. Otherwise, you don't have to talk about it, just go get it.

Did we...eat the hand?

I feel like us knowing what we did with the hand would help things.

whaaaat did we do with the hand
...LOCK THE DOOR
LOCK THE DOOR.
hank might stop by to see if we're okay! LOCK. THE GODDAMN DOOR.

Artsekey 2016/04/09(Sat)09:21 No. 715181 ID: dd4cbd
File 146021889633.jpg - (92.50KB , 700x600 , ps43.jpg )

>>If you really ate it, then just tell him it's taken care of. If you need to... extract it, do so in the bathroom. Otherwise, you don't have to talk about it, just go get it.

>>Did we...eat the hand?

>>I feel like us knowing what we did with the hand would help things

You think back to what you did with GABE'S HAND.

When you saw him there, fork-deep in the last serving of your FAVORITE PASTA SALAD, you LOST IT. You took the only clean utensil from the CUTLERY DRAWER and HAD AT HIM.

The first thing you did was STAB HIM SEVERAL TIMES. While he was bleeding out, you took back your rotten PASTA SALAD from his soon-to-be-lifeless hands.

And then you took his hand.

With your butter knife.

And used it to SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF GABE.

You are more embarrassed about this than anything else, honestly. What did that even accomplish? He was too dead to appreciate the irony.

Whatever the irony was.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, okay??

The hand met it's end at the business end of the GARBAGE DISPOSAL. You did not even think about EATING IT, though you guess that would have made this whole episode go FULL CIRCLE. He takes food from you, you make him into food.

...Isn't there a movie about that already?

Unfortunately, your SHITTY COLLEGE DORM has a SHITTIER GARBAGE DISPOSAL. It could not handle the BONES. Some of them are still in the sink.

You leave Jim to his devices in the living room and lug Gabe into the BED OF YOUR SHOWER. You have no BATH TUB, but this will take care of the blood.

It takes you almost TWO HOURS to break down both LINDSEY and GABE. Jim goes in to help you while you work, tossing in a few KNUCKLE BONES retrieved from the sink.

He has his earbuds in, and you can hear him listening to ELECTRO HOUSE loud enough to make a guy go DEAF.

Your phone rings again. It's HANK.

It looks as though you've missed SEVERAL TEXTS from him over the last few hours.

Read the texts. See if you're able to diffuse the situation with Hank.

oh jeez shouldve cleaned up the blood before hacking, its going to be harder to clean up now

Artsekey 2016/04/09(Sat)12:54 No. 715223 ID: dd4cbd
File 146023164609.jpg - (4.14MB , 3545x4696 , ZAC.jpg )

[[More Pasta Salad art.
Hasta La Pasta.]]

Artsekey 2016/04/09(Sat)13:14 No. 715225 ID: dd4cbd
File 146023287965.jpg - (83.95KB , 700x600 , ps40.jpg )

>>Read the texts. See if you're able to diffuse the situation with Hank.

You decide to CHECK YOUR PHONE. Jim doesn't notice. Technically, if you're being picky about things, this isn't technically answering your phone. You could just as easily be checking your e-mail.

You open your conversation with HANK.

--Hey, Isaac, are you okay??
--Why would I need to call the cops???
--How late are you supposed to call me???

There's a forty-five minute gap between that text and the next one.

-- Isaac I don't know what to do!! Pick up your goddamn phone!!!!!!!!

*Missed Call: 8:13 P.M*
*Missed Call: 9:02 P.M*

--If you don't call me RIGHT NOW, I'm calling the cops.
--Isaac???

You realize now that asking him to call the cops if you failed to contact him might have been a BAD IDEA. Being skeptical of Jim seemed SMART AT THE TIME, and you think it may be worth it considering how he TOOK OUT LINDSEY, but the last thing you need in your life right now is the POLICE.

You know Hank is just WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

Considering the fact that you are currently stuffing dismembered corpse bits into garbage bags with a mohawked stranger, you think that maybe Hank has good reason to be worried.

To reassure him, you need to CALL HIM BACK.

Jim has been watching you stare at your phone.
"You ready to take out the trash?"

Ask Jim his opinion on what to do with Hank. Make sure to note that murder isn't an option.

Kill and dismember Jim, dump all the remains somewhere obscure and out of the way, then live the rest of your life in mortal terror of being found out.

Looks like we have to call hank, we DO NOT want cops

The schedule for cleaning up the joint has been moved up. Call Hank to 'reassure' him you just overreacted to dorm drama. This is 100% factually correct, though not for the reason he'll think. Ask when he called the cops.
Don't kill Jim, you'll just get killed in the process. He's on a whole other level from you.

Artsekey 2016/04/09(Sat)14:30 No. 715239 ID: dd4cbd
File 146023744771.jpg - (229.78KB , 700x600 , ps44.jpg )

>> Ask Jim his opinion on what to do with Hank. Make sure to note that murder isn't an option.

Jim doesn't ask you who you're texting or what you're doing, but you still feel compelled to explain.

"It's my friend Hank," you say, "I... might have called him earlier with a vague and alarming message."

"Huh." Jim doesn't seem to care that much, and ties both garbage bags closed.

"He says he's going to call the cops unless I call him and let him know I'm okay."

"So let him know you're okay."
He seems AMUSED.

>>Looks like we have to call hank, we DO NOT want cops
>>The schedule for cleaning up the joint has been moved up. Call Hank to 'reassure' him you just overreacted to dorm drama. This is 100% factually correct, though not for the reason he'll think. Ask when he called the cops.


You call HANK.

"Hey, man," You say. You're trying to KEEP YOUR COOL. If the rest of whats happened tonight is any indication, you are REALLY GOOD AT NOT BEING FREAKED OUT BY YOUR OWN CAPACITY FOR MURDER.

"Jesus fucknuts, Isaac." Hank exhales, "Where are you?"

Jim takes the garbage bags out into the LIVING ROOM. You can no longer see what he's doing.

Try to make up a lie. Like, don't say you're at your room, since he might come looking for you.

Tell him you went out to take a walk and your signal has been spotty.

Say your roommate and his girlfriend started fighting and you were worried it was going to get violent for a bit so you booked it after you called him.

You got worried they were going to tear into each other but after talking to him on the phone you realized it was none of your business and just left. They can figure there own crap out without you being there.

Lie that you're out drinking after some drama.

Shit, he's outside your door. Can it be locked? Tell Jim to lock the door.

Make up a lie thatll cover up your tracks and dont say youre home

>>715244
This sounds good!

>"Jesus fucknuts, Isaac." Hank exhales, "Where are you?"
>Jim takes the garbage bags out into the LIVING ROOM. You can no longer see what he's doing.
Something along the lines of "Had to take care of some garbage. It turned out okay, the guy understood what happened. Sorry about the freakout earlier."

>>715397
Actually no,
>>715244
This is better. It might calm Hank down more if you can arrange a hangout session, though, so he can see that you're fine.

>>715399

Artsekey 2016/04/10(Sun)10:16 No. 715486 ID: dd4cbd
File 146030859224.jpg - (228.35KB , 700x600 , ps45.jpg )

>>Tell him you went out to take a walk and your signal has been spotty.

>>Say your roommate and his girlfriend started fighting and you were worried it was going to get violent for a bit so you booked it after you called him.

>>You got worried they were going to tear into each other but after talking to him on the phone you realized it was none of your business and just left. They can figure there own crap out without you being there.

"I'm out walking around," You lie, your WIT enabling you to come up with something on the fly, "Lindsey and Gabe were all up in each-other's shit, I didn't want to get into it. I was worried it might get violent-- that's why I asked you to call the cops. Sorry to freak you out, man."

Hank exhales, relieved. "No big deal. Almost had a heart attack, but no big deal. I was worried about you, asshole."

"Yeah, sorry. I called you and then everything blew up. Lindsey showed up, everyone started yelling-- total mess."

"Yeah. Dunno why they don't just break up. You need somewhere to crash tonight?"

Before you can reply, you notice something OFF.

Hank continues.

"...Dude, there's smoke coming from your room."

You realize you left Jim UNSUPERVISED in your living room, and that you can also smell SMOKE.
You told Hank that you AREN'T THERE, but that LINDSEY and GABE are.

Looks like you've got to come up with a way to EXPLAIN THE MYSTERIOUS SMOKE AWAY and figure out WHAT THE FUCK JIM IS DOING.

Make way to the living room, coming up with a lie while doing so. (Hopefully our Rhythm doesn't fail).

To be honest, I'm not sure we could come up with a lie for this in the first place. We just said we weren't in our room, so we would have no way of knowing what's going on in our room in the first place, so...

Maybe make the excuse that you left the oven on? As for what Jim is doing? Probably burning the evidence.

make a gesture to Jim to cut it off (heh) and put out whatever fire he started, respond your bro with a "what??"
also is there a fire escape that you could get to? you could leave through that or ask hank if he could meet up with you somewhere close but that has a different route that you could go to and have jim leave with the body parts (make sure to use an extra trash bag to make sure the burnt parts dont show), if this plan works jim probably has a lighter so burn something in the kitchen make sure it cant spread though

>smoke
'Like cigarette smoke? The RA is gonna be pissed. How much is there?'
Play clueless, don't try to make excuses, but sound curious as well.

Make sure the front door is locked. We don't want Hank barging in trying to save someone from a fire. I'm surprised your rooms don't have smoke alarms in them.

>>715499
this

>>715499
Wouldn't acting curious make Hank curious, and therefore cause Hank to enter the room?

'the RA would be pissed, but she and Lindsey are bros and its not my problem so whatever. dude, how are you?'

>>715486
huh. they must be reconciling through the universal language of toking up.

cigs dont smoke that much, but weed puffs like a fucker.

Artsekey 2016/04/10(Sun)11:45 No. 715519 ID: dd4cbd
File 146031394627.jpg - (198.87KB , 700x600 , ps46.jpg )

>>'Like cigarette smoke? The RA is gonna be pissed. How much is there?'
Play clueless, don't try to make excuses, but sound curious as well.

>>Make sure the front door is locked. We don't want Hank barging in trying to save someone from a fire. I'm surprised your rooms don't have smoke alarms in them.

Your rooms DO HAVE SMOKE ALARMS, and the one IN YOUR ROOM is definitely going to g--

Yep, there it goes.

As long as the smoke STAYS OUT OF THE HALLWAY, the BUILDING ALARM WONT GO OFF and you WON'T BE FINED for causing the building to evacuate.

You try to talk to Hank while shooting Jim a serious CEASE AND DESIST. It looks like he's used a can of AEROSOL start a fire. The kindling was his BLOODY HOODIE, which is now aflame and on the floor. You might have known he was going to do this if you'd CHECKED HIS BAG.

You think it's TOO LATE to SMOTHER THE FIRE. It's latched on to your HORRIBLY STAINED COUCH, and appears to be making for the walls next. You think Jim just have used some kind of ACCELLERANT, but you aren't sure because you did not PEEK INTO HIS BAG. You have no actual FIRE ESCAPE, and your room is on the second floor. Your windows don't open wide enough to let anyone through, but you SUPPOSE you could break the glass and risk great personal injury to yourself.

Jim seems content. "You ready to go, fireballs?"

You still have not told Jim your NAME.

"Hahhh, uh, is it like... cig smoke?" You ask, still talking to Hank while you glare daggers at Jim, "How much?"

Hank says, "It's leaking out into the hallway. Doesn't smell like cigarette smoke or weed. Uh, should I check it out?"

"No!" Your RHYTHM fails you, and you answer TOO FAST. Hank is SUSPICIOUS. He HEARD YOU THROUGH THE DOOR.

"Isaac, what's going on?"

Jim looks like he's REACHING TO OPEN THE DOOR. Hank is on the other side, and letting this much smoke into the hallway will cause a BUILDING EVAC. Neither of you have any BLOOD on you, but your THROAT is still bruised from your altercation with Lindsey.

The fire is BEYOND YOUR CONTROL. You have to decide how you're going to ESCAPE.

drop your phone, then pick it back up and hang up without speaking. Factory reset your phone and leave it. If we make it seem like we're a victim, the suspect of these people's deaths won't shift on to us, at least not as easily. Unfortunately, it means we'll have to make new friends. And change our name.

After doing that, get the hell out of dodge. In fact, make sure you still have time to leave even if Hank enters while you're doing the phone thing. Get close to the door and out of immediate sight.

I'm getting the impression that this quest is now a giant 'how much more can we fuck up' thing now. We've gone from 2nd degree murder/manslaughter to battery, accessory to *another* murder, multiple counts of desecration of a corpse, arson, destruction of evidence, destruction of public/private property.

We have to inform Jim that there is a dude outside the door, lest he reaction kills him. We also have to get out of the building. I'd say maybe the window, but I think we're fucked either way.

Here's an idea - Whisper to Jim that Hank's right outside. Get down on the floor (so you don't inhale all the smoke) and let the building's fire alarm start ringing. Rush out with the crowd while everyone's evacuating, then...I dunno, hide or something!

well shit, you cant break the window while hanks outside, he might hear it
i still think using 'wait for me outside the building' is an option

Don't smash the window, go out through the door.

>>715579
just tell him 'wait for me outside the building, something happened'

Artsekey 2016/04/10(Sun)17:18 No. 715642 ID: dd4cbd
File 146033392193.jpg - (279.97KB , 700x600 , ps47.jpg )

>>We have to inform Jim that there is a dude outside the door, lest he reaction kills him. We also have to get out of the building. I'd say maybe the window, but I think we're fucked either way.

>>Here's an idea - Whisper to Jim that Hank's right outside.

>>just tell him 'wait for me outside the building, something happened

"Look, I'll meet you outside, okay? I'll explain everything." You tell Hank, hanging up right after. You turn to Jim; the smoke is getting PRETTY BAD. You whisper, "My friend Hank is right outside the d--"

Jim OPENS THE DOOR, letting out the SMOKE. The BUILDING ALARM sounds, and it is LOUD. It's almost impossible to hear anything, and bright lights are flashing up and down the hall.

Hank is dumbfounded, and DISORIENTED by the alarm. He is more focused on Jim than he is on you, which is probably a good thing. Jim throws him the can of AEROSOL he used to start the fire, and Hank-- the sports buff that he is-- CATCHES IT with his bare hands on reflex.

Jim winks at Hank before TAKING YOUR HAND to lead you out of the building. Other residents file into the hallway to EVACUATE, and you don't look the least bit out of place.

Hank is not the FASTEST THINKER, and it takes him a good moment to process everything that just happened. He tries to chase after you, but Jim takes you into the STAIRWAY and Hank can't push past everyone to get to you. The only way you're going to be able to talk to him is if you WAIT UP once you're outside.

People see the smoke is real, and they are PANICKING. It isn't like a routine practice evacuation at all, because seriously, who is going to WALK AWAY FROM AN ACTUAL FIRE? Who decided those practice drills were going to teach anyone anything???

Jim is VERY GOOD at navigating the crowd, and gets you to the first floor SAFELY. RA's from every floor are overseeing the flow of people. You catch sight of RACHEL, who would have been ON DUTY AT THE OFFICE tonight. She doesn't see you, preoccupied with a young man having a STRESS-INDUCED ASTHMA ATTACK. You make it out the front door with EVERYONE ELSE.

No one asks why you have a trash bag, either. They are too busy TAKING VIDEO and snapping pictures of the blaze blossoming from your room. It looks like you just saw the opportunity to throw your garbage out on the way down.

Jim keeps your hand and KEEPS WALKING. He's heading towards the parking lot. Hank is pushing through people on the front lawn, calling your name.

He's not going to catch up unless you STOP WALKING.

Your Quest So Far...

Because you changed your major to THEATER, your ability to ACT was greatly increased. This allowed you to pretend to be LINDSEY with near-perfect accuracy when given the chance.

Because you lied and told your RA that the sound of the murder was YOU BANGING YOUR ROOMMATE, Lindsey showed up at your door. She was emotionally distressed, and you tried to talk her down.

Because you called JIM instead of HANK, Jim showed up and DISTRACTED LINDSEY. Your inaction resulted in Lindsey's death.

Because Jim killed Lindsey, you took her FINGER and will have access to her phone from NOW ON. This let you prevent Rachel from checking up on her, which would have been a BIG PROBLEM.

Because you did not check Jim's bag, he started a FIRE before you could intervene.

Because you were suspicious of Jim, you TOLD HANK TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU. You listened to Jim and didn't answer his calls. This resulted in him showing up at your dorm.

Because Hank showed up at your dorm, Jim passed him the INCRIMINATING CAN OF AEROSOL.

shit, now we're gonna feel bad because Hank got incriminated for our crimes! nooooo!

shit man we should probably talk to hank?? we told him to get the cops earlier and he might call them now if we just leave!

I mean, we could stop walking, chat quickly with Hank to like, I dunno, pacify him or something, and take the Aerosol away from him - we've got gloves, it's not like we'll leave any fingerprints.

But Jim's stuck by us so far. Everything he's done were steps to prevent us from being implicated. Would it be better for us to keep following him?

We can contact Hank later, right now we need to get out of here.
Beside Hank would probably want us to talk to the police or something.

Tell Jim to stop, pull him by the arm, god. Wait for Hank.

>>715651
hank is our Best Bro though; should we let him get framed for arson?

Nope, avoid him and call him later

Artsekey 2016/04/10(Sun)19:05 No. 715699 ID: dd4cbd
File 146034033422.jpg - (93.97KB , 700x600 , ps48.jpg )

>>Tell Jim to stop, pull him by the arm, god. Wait for Hank.

You pull Jim to a stop when you're far enough away from the crowd, and then let go of his hand. Hank spots you and walks out to where you are in the dark, exasperated beyond belief.

"What the fuck, man!? First you tell me that Lindsey and Gabe had some argument, then you LIE and tell me you're not there, and then there's this fire-- a real fire!"
He's not yelling-- he's whisper-shouting.

Jim doesn't seem surprised that you slowed them down, but he also doesn't look like he particularity cares.

"It's been a long night," you say. You can feel everything you've done catching up with you-- not in the sense that you feel BAD about it, but in the sense that you are TIRED.

"Who's that guy?" Hank is undeterred, motioning to Jim before getting in his space. "Who are you, huh?"

You know Hank is kind of PROTECTIVE of you.

Jim offers Hank his hand. "Jim."

Hank eyes the gesture, but doesn't shake it.

"And what's this about??" He turns back to Isaac, brandishing the aerosol, "The fire in your room?" Back to Jim, "Were you telling him to do drugs??"

You don't tell Hank that if you ever did drugs, it would be of your OWN VOLITION.

"Nah." Jim says, "We got places to be, amigo. You in?"

"Am I in to what?" Hank asks, still whisper-yelling.

"The shit," Jim says, "This shit. Our shit. You in?"

Hank looks at you for an explanation.

If you play your cards right, Hank might be COMING WITH YOU. Play them wrong, and he'll get left in the DUST.

...Or ashes, you guess.

Okay, truth time. Or maybe, like, not-the-whole-truth-but-enough-of-it-to-qualify time.

Tell him that you accidentally did something pretty huge. In an effort to fix it, you made things a bit worse for yourself. You called Jim over to help, since he was an unbiased party and you were worried Hank would rat you out. Jim showed up to help, which he did, but it eventually led to the fire, and now you're just following his lead because anything else would be really bad for ourselves.

You in to help, or not?

>>715699
ok, so here's our story: We came back, and lindsey was trying to kill your roomie. you tried to stop her and wound up stabbing her when she turned on you, you panicked, and were like "FUCK FUCK FUCK" over it because roomieman was dead too now.

RA started getting in your grill and you were panicking because shit fuck I killed her man I'M A KILLER AAA

Jim helped me out by helping me cover the scene, I don't want to go to jail over someone else's personal drama.

We say NONE of this unless hank decides to come along. Warn him it's some real shit, and he's free to stay uninvolved with this. You're his best friend and you don't want to drag him into this mess without his approval.

we need to warn hank that this is heavy shit, but we should absolutely try to recruit him. the more the merrier!

Disregarding the current situation, Jim has now heard the name Issac, so we have to stick with it.

Anyways, I'm game for any good suggestions for getting Hank in the group.

>>715704
good cover story, id say stick with this
also we need more luck points

Okay, here's an idea: Tell Hank you weren't being honest at first because you were trying to protect him; he's always been there to keep your ass out of the fire, you figured you ought to do the same for him.

>>715747
ye, if he presses tell him we gotta get somewhere less high-profile first.

>>715747
This with some variation on >>715704 if he joins up, depending entirely on how well we can keep out lie straight. The part about her being stabbed probably won't work.

dont tell him we didnt trust him not to rat us out. do
>>715747
That, then
>>715704

Artsekey 2016/04/12(Tue)15:29 No. 716059 ID: f188a4
File 146050017617.jpg - (137.52KB , 700x600 , ps49.jpg )

>>Okay, here's an idea: Tell Hank you weren't being honest at first because you were trying to protect him; he's always been there to keep your ass out of the fire, you figured you ought to do the same for him.

>>ok, so here's our story: We came back, and lindsey was trying to kill your roomie. you tried to stop her and wound up stabbing her when she turned on you, you panicked, and were like "FUCK FUCK FUCK" over it because roomieman was dead too now. RA started getting in your grill and you were panicking because shit fuck I killed her man I'M A KILLER AAA

>>Jim helped me out by helping me cover the scene, I don't want to go to jail over someone else's personal drama. We say NONE of this unless hank decides to come along. Warn him it's some real shit, and he's free to stay uninvolved with this. You're his best friend and you don't want to drag him into this mess without his approval.

>>Tell him that you accidentally did something pretty huge. In an effort to fix it, you made things a bit worse for yourself. You called Jim over to help, since he was an unbiased party and you were worried Hank would rat you out. Jim showed up to help, which he did, but it eventually led to the fire, and now you're just following his lead because anything else would be really bad for ourselves. You in to help, or not?

"Alright, man." You exhale, "Listen. Before I tell you anything, you've got to know this is pretty huge. I did something pretty bad. I should've told you, but I know you've got to keep your record clean in ROTC. I didn't want you to get mixed up in my fuck-up."

"I kind of already am, Isaac." Hank says, "What'd you do?" He appears TENTATIVE.

"I can't tell you unless you come with us," You say. Hank looks PUT OFF.

"Who's that guy?" Hank asks you, buying himself time to think. He sees the GARBAGE BAG and VISIBLY PALES.

"He's... uh, a friend of mine." You say. "I called him when everything went down. He helped me figure it all out."

Jim gave Hank a mock-salute.

"You've never mentioned him before," Hank says. "When'd you meet him?"

"After I moved out of our dorm," You smile sheepishly. Technically, it's not a lie. "He's a good guy."
THAT might be a lie.

"You called him before you called me?" Hank seems offended that you didn't call him first. He's your BEST FRIEND-- maybe you should have TRUSTED HIM.

"I didn't want to drag you into my shit," you reiterate, "You've got it so good with your scholarship with ROTC, and this..."

Hank puts a hand on your shoulder and looks at you straight on. "Bro. Remember what promised each other after we got accepted?"

You REMEMBER.

"We're in this together. We're gunna graduate together. You got my back, I've got yours."

"This is a little more intense than--"

"Doesn't matter. I'm in."

Jim smiles and waves him on. The three of you head to the parking lot TOGETHER, though Hank is continuously looking at the GARBAGE BAG slung over Jim's shoulder with disgust. Actually, he might just be looking at JIM.

When you get to the parking lot, you find your OLD JUNKER. The rear bumper DRAGS when anyone sits in the back seat.

Jim sets his bag down alongside the garbage bag, and starts digging through his duffel. He pulls out a MOTORCYCLE HELMET.

It looks like he has his own ride.

Maybe you should ask to TAKE THE GARBAGE BAG. After all, it might be safer in your TRUNK than stuck to his MOTORCYCLE somehow.

"Where're we dumping this?" Jim asks. You realize you have a MAP in your GLOVEBOX.

Okay, cool. Everything's working out so far.

Try to find someplace secluded, obviously. Maybe take out the map and have Jim, like, help you figure out a good spot. I guess...have Hank help too? I don't think he'd be great at finding good places to dump dead people, but hey, we're all in this together.

Is cannibalizing the bodies still out? Little Horseradish, french fry, broccoli...

The garbage bag contains two whole bodies, right? I'd rather our car didn't drag, so we should put the bag in the passenger seat. That'd mean that Hank would have to ride with Jim, though, and that sounds like an iffy prospect. The best move might actually be to go by ourselves to bury the bodies somewhere, doubly so because it means we'd be the only ones with knowledge of where all the most incriminating evidence is. Even though it's kind of awkward 'cause Hank just joined us, it might be best. We could even make him feel useful somehow, perhaps by asking him to do something to help make sure the crime scene is completely clean? Or to say something to someone? What'd be a good job for our squeaky-clean, morally-upstanding best bro here? I'm sure he'd be super helpful for some kind of PR thing, with that all-American look he's got going on.

Jim probably should come with us, now that I think about it. He's got as much to hide as we do, with that woman he garotted, and digging is hard work.

Introduce Hank and Jim, and maybe subtly try to let Jim know your name while you're at it so Hank doesn't realize you barely know the guy.

Then check the map and try to find a good, out of the way place to finish burning the bodies? Make sure the secluded place you pick isn't a popular spot for couples or delinquents or anything like that.

Artsekey 2016/04/12(Tue)17:09 No. 716089 ID: f188a4
File 146050614019.jpg - (355.58KB , 1600x1322 , ps50.jpg )

You open the passenger side door of your car and get the +MAP to show to Jim and Hank.

The area around Brokeland is WIDELY RURAL because it's near a LANDFILL. A RIVER cuts between your college and the highway.

To the north, there's ECHO LAKE and LOVERS LEDGE. The lake feeds down through the river into the OCEAN, but sound CARRIES. A lot of affluent people go boating here, and there is a COUNTRY CLUB situated on the shore. You hear they rent out boats to MEMBERS.

LOVER'S LEDGE is the LARGEST CLIFF in the area, and it's a popular place for young couples to go SKINNY DIPPING. Not many people go there anymore because a group of boys bit the dust after jumping off the edge last year. It was an accident, but no one knows what actually killed them. Their bodies weren't ever found.

NICKLE PASS is a bridge that is HIGHLY TRAFFICKED and crosses the most narrow part of the river off of Echo Lake. Sometimes debris from Echo Lake gets caught on the pillars supporting it, and local fisherman frequent the area.

The END OF THE ECHO is where the tributary of ECHO LAKE flows UNDERGROUND. It's HEAVILY PROTECTED by FENCING because it's a source of GROUND WATER for Brokeland and the surrounding communities.

THREE STONES GAP is another small bridge crossing the river. It's closest to the CITY and the LANDFILL and is a local stoner hot-spot. It's the closest place accessible by car to the OCEAN.

The LANDFILL is full of crud and garbage, but is SUPERVISED BY WORKERS and SECURITY CAMERAS 24/7. You'd need HELP to get past the gates, or an insane amount of LUCK. You don't have an insane amount of luck. In fact, your luck is pretty much shit.

The HIGHWAY will take you AWAY FROM BROKELAND to SURROUNDING TOWNS. You don't know anything about them except for what's on the map.

That is to say, you know their names.

The WOODS is south of the END OF THE ECHO, and isn't accessible by car. Lots of WILDLIFE is out there, and it's easy to get LOST without the proper guidance. Plus, the area is FIRE PRONE. There is a local volunteer FIRE-WATCH on duty.

You show the map to HANK and JIM.

Hank says he knows someone who fishes at NICKLE PASS, and claims he's been there several times. He affirms that a LOT OF GARBAGE from the lake get's STUCK THERE.

Jim says he knows someone at the COUNTRY CLUB.

You're kind of surprised.

"What about the gap?" You ask. He looks like a stoner. He's an ART STUDENT.

Jim looks a little PUT OFF. "Yeah. Some old friends go out that way to toke sometimes."

You ask if he thinks they can help.

"Could," He says.

Your car can carry YOU AND SOMEONE OR SOMETHING IN THE PASSENGER SEAT. Nothing heavier than a single person can be put in the BACK SEAT, or the bumper will DRAG.

Jim has a MOTORCYCLE. He can seat TWO comfortably, but it's doubtful that he'll be able to take the garbage bag without leaving a NASTY TRAIL.

You might be able to get more information out of HANK or JIM about the contacts they have or locations in the area.

[[Remember, the disthread is here! Big choice.
http://www.tgchan.org/kusaba/questdis/res/98952.html]]

[[ Ah, here! Sorry. http://www.tgchan.org/kusaba/questdis/res/98952.html ]]

>"We're in this together. We're gunna graduate together. You got my back, I've got yours."
Maybe the "Got your back" line helped remind him, or maybe he would have said this regardless, but hey, playing it safe was still the better option.
>LOVER'S LEDGE is the LARGEST CLIFF in the area, and it's a popular place for young couples to go SKINNY DIPPING. Not many people go there anymore because a group of boys bit the dust after jumping off the edge last year. It was an accident, but no one knows what actually killed them. Their bodies weren't ever found.
...That actually sounds like a good place. People fine a batch of assorted body parts and may just assume it was the boys.
The problem is, if we get unlucky and there actually are people there, we'd have to distract them.

How about where the river branches, would that be accessible?

Not that I actually want Issac to get away with this but perhaps first starting a fire in the WOODS as a diversion before dumping the bodies.

>>716117
>adding arson to our murder charges
>again

this is a poor idea

>>716096
Garbage floats down from the lake. It's likely that it would get stuck at Nickle Pass.

Three Stones Gap sounds like the place to go.

>>716089
i think it's best if we bury it and cover it with lye. does jim have lye in his bag? if not ask him to go buy some (using cash, not credit card. no taking money out of an atm either). we're also gonna need 1-3 shovels. do not buy a shovel and lye in the same store, there is very little more conspicuous.
hmmmm, a couple more things that would be nice but are not mandatory are: a dog's collar, it'll help if anyone asks what are you burying, and yogurt with an active germ culture to add the the bag to make the bodies decompose way faster.

hank and garbage bag goes in your car, jim goes by bike.

ideally you'd dig a deep hole, put the yogurt in the bag, seal the bag shut, put the bag in the hole, apply as much lye as you have, cover with dirt, stick a wooden cross with the dog collar hanging off of it in the ground.

i vote for the woods.

>>716171
This guy 100%. You ever kill someone, man? On point.

Also, need a can or bottle of coke for dissolving the teeth, can bury it next to the bodies. Also cut off the fingertips and put them directly into the yogurt culture, they should rot almost immediately. The teeth will dissolve very quickly too. Once you do that, you're pretty clear. Still will have to deal with the obvious arson in your room. That... Might be a problem. Also, you'll probably want to bury the finger you do have and find some way to dispose of the phone elsewhere. Maybe drop it into a dumpster in some random location after dunking it into rubbing alcohol to clean it of any of your DNA evidence.

>>716171
Alternatively if we're going with burying, bug a deep hole for the bodies and then less than a foot under the surface place some roadkill. No need for a cross or collar that could get lost, but if found by sniffer dogs will be considered a false positive.

Artsekey 2016/04/13(Wed)19:10 No. 716356 ID: 982488
File 146059980199.jpg - (355.58KB , 1600x1322 , ps50.jpg )

You think about everything you might NEED when you dispose of this body. Dumping it north of NICKLE PASS seems like a bad idea because you are afraid it might get caught on the BRIDGE, and then found by FISHERMEN.

BURYING IT, on the other hand, sounds like a GREAT IDEA.

"We can bury them in the woods," You say, matter-of-factly. Hank draws his brows together, CONFUSED and CONCERNED.

"Them?"

Jim places a hand on Hank's shoulder in a FALSE-FRIENDLY sort of way. It's kind of condescending. "Yep. Them. This is the shit."

Hank looks at you. You can tell he's not sure if he wants to ASK or not, but you already have a STORY planned out.

"Remember when I told you that everything was kind of crazy? I walked in on Lindsey and Gabe fighting. She... damn, man," He look away like it's HARD TO THINK ABOUT. You are a GOOD ACTOR. "She took this knife we had on the counter and just... and then she went after me," You become more distraught. Even JIM looks concerned-- or maybe it's CONFUSED. "And I... I..."

"You didn't," Hank whispers, "Isaac."

You SAY NOTHING. You've told HANK that you killed Lindsey in SELF DEFENSE and that she was trying to KILL YOU.

You RUB YOUR NECK. Hank sees the SIGNS OF A STRUGGLE you earned while getting some SICK TITTY ACTION.

Hank doesn't look at you. "Why didn't you just call the cops?"

"Are you kidding me?! I don't want to go to jail-- you think I can afford a trial? A court case? Hell no!"

"But it's self defense! They have rules about that, you'd--"

"The system is fucked," Jim says. He's bitter. "He'd get convicted. Look, short-shorts, if all you're gunna do on our ride down the EOE is tell us how the cops're on our side, I'm gunna throttle you. We got two bodies on our backs and a lot of road to cover."

You are afraid that he isn't EXAGGERATING.

Hank doesn't look like he's OKAY WITH THIS.

You didn't tell Jim you wanted to head out to the WOODS-- you know you'll have to drive out to the End of the Echo to get there.

"We're gunna need shovels," Jim adds, back in the game.

"Yeah." You refocus, too. "Soda, too. That's how you dissolve the teeth."
You used to watch a lot of CSI when you were younger.
A lot.
And Dexter.
And How to Get Away With Murder.

Looking back now, you are kind of wondering about that whole "Violent TV Leads to Violence" headline you read a few years ago.

"And some stuff to break the bodies down."

"Got that." Jim pats his DUFFEL BAG. You're starting to think Jim is the MARRY POPPINS of MURDER.

Hank looks MORTIFIED.

"Could make it look like we're burying a dog or something. I know where I can get a collar. Shovel, too."
There aren't any shops open this late around Brokeland. He must have some other connection.

Hank looks between YOU and JIM. He can't believe you're TALKING ABOUT THIS SO CASUALLY.

Hank BELIEVED your lie. Jim has offered to procure a SHOVEL and MISCELLANEOUS NONHUMAN BURIAL PARAPHERNALIA before meeting you and Hank at the END OF THE ECHO so you can bury the bodies in the WOODS. He offers you his DUFFEL BAG with a wink.

"I'll see you there."

[CONTROL ISAAC]
[CONTROL JIM]
[CONTROL HANK]
[WAIT! THIS ISN'T HOW THIS SHOULD GO...]