Pet Jim. He deserves it

Flies Azathoth 2018/02/06(Tue)06:48 No. 865142 ID: 008b25
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(Can we make a comedy themed warhammer quest? LETS FIND OUT!)

Your ship, the Tree of Life, sits in the warp, regrowing itself after the damage sustained when your erstwhile allies decided that the middle of a invasion is just the BEST time to attack your own allies! Freaking khorne marines.. heads full of rage and testosterone.

While it grows and heals you ponder where to go to begin rebuilding your legion, theirs several good spots close by but they all have their own drawbacks.

Phyxia is your old homeworld, already secretly loyal to nurgle it would make a good spot to start, but there have been inquisitors sniffing around lately that would not take kindly to you dropping by..

Smog and Steel is the local dark mechanicus forge world, they would be happy to stock you back up with their machines but they would ask ALOT in return, a price you may come to regret.

The plauge world is a logical point to return to, home of the deathguard that you ascended from. the downside is two fold, first their loyalty would be to mortarian and not you at first, the second is that there all so BLOODY MISERABLE! Its like they are all comepeting for the biggest buzzkillers in the galaxy!

Finally you have Saint somethings whatever, a old hive world that's currently in the process of freezing solid. The imperial high ups have all jumped ship leaving the poor alone, scared and freezing. A perfect place to bring Nurgles endurance and tenacity. Only issue there is its a little too close to the local Space marine world for comfort...

Hmmm.. you need to think about this..

Hod id you get in this situation?
Becoming a deamon prince is a great accomplish! What is the story?
You couldn't have done that with only three followers, could you?
What happened with the rest of your cult? And what blessings Papa Nurgle gave you?

... You got mail.

As long as they're not close enough to smell you (so at least 1-2 star systems away), you should be fine. Let's chill at Saint Allexa's Tear!

Nothing about you or your ship is discreet and your forces are current small. As things are the plauge world is too big a risk.
Smog and Steel could be a nice first stop, but what exactly do you have to trade? Beside, would the equipment be worth when you are than underhanded?
Saint allexa's tear seem the ideal place to start small. The marines are close but with some luck we will be ready to leave by the time they take your presence as a serious threat.
Phyxia worry me. It's true that the moment you get there the conflict with the inquisition will be inevitable, but there is no guaranty they can avoid this conflict even without your interference. By going there you could be either condemning Nurgle followers or saving them.
A difficult decision, but I would side with caution and go to the Saint tear world.

Phyxia or Saint Tear sounds like where you want to be right now-mecha world can give you guns but you only have like five dudes atm, and plague place has someone else in charge-I imagine that it’s not wise to go somewhere else with Chaos dudes without some way to make them regret attacking you, like what just happened with the Khorne boyos.

I'd go to Saint Tear, save some followers with the promise of Nurgle gifts, then move on to Smog and Steel. What valuables do we have to trade?

Also, check your mail.

>Can we make a comedy themed warhammer quest?
If AGP has taught me anything its that, yes, you can while also making it awesome.

Lets go to Saint who-gives-a-fuck, cause if the shoulder pads of the Emprah give you shit you have the moral high ground.

>>865158
This.

>>865142
Alexa's tear. The proximity to the spess marine world is an upside, no imperial would expect the enemy so close to home... Not really anyway, they do like throwing accusations around but rarely mean it.

>>865142
Blowing Phyxia's cover seems shortsighted.

Ice worlds are cool, let's go to Saint somethings whatever.

>>865142
Saint Allexa's Tear!

Saint Allexa's Tear, as not only can we help those who cannot help themselves and show them Grandfather Nurgle's Love but our loyalist friends might show up and then we can have a party. Oh also what Chapter did you used to be apart of? That knowledge might come in handy. Also this >>865141

Parliment of Flies Azathoth 2018/02/09(Fri)04:57 No. 866107 ID: 008b25
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You scoop jim into you lap and give him a friendly scratch as he burrows into your exposed organs, squealing in delight.

Good old jim, no matter how many times hes squashed. blown up or accidentaly eaten he always comes back with a smile on his lips and a skip in his step. Truly nurglings are the very incarnation of Nurgles joy and energy.

As he goes about his frolicking he disturbs some of the many flies that dwell within your putrid flesh, stirring them to wakeful buzzing's.

Their small voices begin piping up with a myriad questions and suggestions. Other followers of Grandfather may ignore the smallest of his children, but you long ago learnt that wisdom lies in the least looked places

>Got mail!

As yes, another proclamation from Mortarian full of his usual bitterness and spite. Looking through it you see that he has had a falling out with his brother, the deamon primarch of Khorne, Angron the lord of the world eaters legion.

This would explain the farce that occurred earlier..

>Who Mortarian?

The Deamon Primarch of Nurgle. lord of the death guard legion and the most powerful of Grandfathers subjects. Your a immortal super being and Mortarian could obliterate you without even noticing..
You just wish he would take a chill pill or something, the miserable bastard.

> Wah happen?

EUCH, even thinking about it fills you with bile, you had begun the bombardment and troop deployment as agreed, your forces would draw the defence while the Khornites attack from the rear, pinning the defenders against your immovable forces like a vice.

Instead they decided to ram the Tree of Life, obliterate our carrier and ram straight into the planet reducing it to molten slag. Lunatics the lot of them!

> Who you used to be?

No one. A simple astartes of the Serpent legion, a unknown founding but given the legions colors, structure and belief that there is no such thing as "Enough flamethrowers" its preety obvious they owe their creation to the Salamander legion.

It also makes sence on a personal level, like the Salamanders the Serpents put the citizens before glory or honour, taking all the "Desk jobs" the other legions ignore.
Evacuations, food distribution and the like. Its ironic that such a human thing like love and mercy is what lead to your rebellion and joining the Death Guard, you where sickened by the pointless, grinding cruelty of the empire that made the rich richer, the poor disposable and the land they lived upon sterile and dead.
To this day you Swear that you will rot the empire to nothing, so that a new and glorious realm may grow from its carcass!

You listen to the flies for a while longer as they natter about your choices, finally settling on Saint's Tear since the citizens there are most worthy of Grandfathers gifts, having endured the freezing ice and grinding hopelessness. Plus ice worlds are fun.

Slipping into the real world like a infected needle, the Tree of Life attaches itself to a asteroid and takes root, replenishing its supplies from the minerals of the rock as you head to the teleporter chamber.

As the putrid organs and rusted metal stretch and twist into the ritual shapes, you pause to consider where in the Prime Hive to go, what form you should take and who to bring with you.

A: Hive Spire, a small group of life signs, most likely the servants of the governor's family as well as some less important nobles.

B: The hive middle, a district of traders, law givers and minor nobles.

C:Hive bottom, The largest signal. Comprising of the poor, the slave workers and the armies of Arbiters who keep them in line along with several criminal gangs.

D: The Underhive. A toxic nightmare filled with mutations and monsters, the few humans alive down their would have spent their whole life in a constant state of starved fear.

The hive bottom. They never bother to check here until it's too late.
You should take the form of a doctor to heal the sick! Never mind the fact that they never seem to vacate the clinic afterward, they're well cared for, and they can get up and walk around again! Take Alexis with you because every doctor needs a nurse, and you don't have many choices at the moment. She's also an experienced rabble rouser.

The Underhive.
With all the mutations and diseases they're practically followers of Nurgle already. Just remember that we're here to free these people from fear and suffering, we fight we should simple give them all an offer.

We need to cut off the extraplanetary means of communication quickly. Those will probable be at the Hive Spire, but unless we know exactly where to attack the attempt will be more likely to cause cause the emergency signal than prevent it.
Those with the blessings of papa Nurgle will be much less likely to be identify among mutants. Assuming the ship teleportation can be used again latter the Underhive is the safest place to collect basic information.

>>866138
The Underhive. Disguise yourself as an Arbiter.

>>866107
Start with the hive spire. If you corrupt the leadership and those close to them first, it'll be much easier to spread your blessings to everyone else unopposed.

Parliment of Flies Azathoth 2018/02/21(Wed)05:54 No. 869173 ID: 008b25
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The chittering flies have chosen your entry point, you'll start from the very bottom of the hive amongst those the empire has long shat upon.

Rotting your body down to more or less human sized, you form the flab into the image of a arbiter, the irony that the symbol of oppression will now be the symbol of hope is not lost on you.

Alexis hes decided to head to the middle of the hive posing as a health worker, there she will spread the word of the blessings grandfather and grandmother wait to spread to them.

Alexis: "Jim if your comeing with me you need to stay in the bag ok?

Jim: "Blaaarghule!"

> wah you beliv?

Hmm? oh well let me tell you my wonderful little friend.

The bridesmaids celebrate and venerate nurgel's bride, the Aldari goddess Isha. Some ignorantly claim she is a prisoner of grandfather, pointing at his corpulent foulness and saying a life goddess would not tarry with a death god willingly, they are fools of the highest order!

You see there is no such things as death! only decay and resurgence. A flower grows, withers and rots. From that rot a new flower grows all the stronger. Where is death in that cycle? the flowers energy and atoms flow through the soil and into the new growth, life never ends, it merely changes.

Nurgle is the god of microbiological life, the virulent disease and the fly that feeds from decay. Isha is the goddess of macro-biology, regeneration and new life, its only natural that the two would fall for each other.

This is the truth Alexis spreads to all who would hear it, so that they may aid in freeing the emperor from his unnatural stasis, letting the empire rot away at last so that a new and glorious realm can grow fro its rich loam.

Noxian joins you int the teleportation Cyst, declaring that he shall head into the frozen wastes around the hive cities, looking for survivors to recruit or corpses to bless with pustular new life. You think the truth is more that he merely wishes to enjoy the snow, hailing as he dose from a frigid ice world. ahh nostalgia..

With a burst of noxious gas and light, you each head onto the planet and towards your destination.

Parliment of FLies Azathoth 2018/02/21(Wed)05:55 No. 869174 ID: 008b25
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Two hours later and you have established contact with the citizens of the underhive.

Things are going surprisingly well.

>>869174
Perfect opportunity to demonstrate the resilience you would bring to them.

Allow this trapped creature to exhaust itself assaulting you, simply rising every time you're knocked down, and when it finally gives up and the crowd wants to know how you survived, then you'll have a captive audience to preach to.

>>869174
Rot that rope away for freedom.

Your strength is in decay. Hack the sucker with viruses and let him rot out.

Don't use any disease or rotting ability as a weapon. You want them to see Nurgle's blessings favorable, not fear them.

Diseases should be spread discreetly, just contaminate public spaces whenever no one is looking and let the luck decide who will receive those gifts. Only papa's protection should be promoted.

>>869176
The resilience plan is good, but if you don't defend yourself those people may think you can't. You should fight as an unremarkable arbiter would, except for the abnormal capacity of taking damage.

>>869173
Wasn't Isha one of the puppet gods the eldar created to do their bidding? As manife4station of the most primordial true of all life Nurgle is above Isha the same way you are above a common man. Why would he seek such relationship?

>>869174
Play along, this could be fun.

Joke's on him, how's he supposed to hit you from down there?