Dread King Malcor 2020/03/23(Mon)02:49 No. 959515 ID: 5245b2
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Voiceover: So yeah, that's me. Measuring up the business end of Wrecker. I've got a bit of a story to tell first, but I'll make it quick, Don't wanna blueball yo right off the bat.

Woman: "Oh my god, the smell is intoxicating..."
Wrecker: "Biggest in the province, baby. I'll let you get to work."
Woman: "MMMMmmmmmmmmhmhmmmmmm, I want you so bad..."

DAY-UM!

Well I guess that’s one way to introduce yourself. Hope you were both flexible/expandable enough for that.

What’s your name?

Dread King Malcor 2020/03/23(Mon)20:51 No. 959574 ID: 5245b2
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>>959528
Voiceover: Oh, don't you worry about that!
My name is Li, just Li, nothing else. I made a deal with a Demon God and was granted a couple things, so lemme run you down the list:
I can shapeshift,
I can squash and stretch like a cartoon,
I'm immortal,
AND I don't have to worry about periods or pregnancy! (That's my favorite part btw)

I sold my soul and most of my autonomy because I was... not in a good place. I was hungry, on the streets, and worst of all, had no way to change anything. No way out!

Well, aside from a deal with the devil, but it's not so bad! I've got a steady income, a nice place, and best of all: A FUCKIN' SCHEDULE! You never know how much you need 'em until you're without 'em for a long time.

>>959574
A schedule for whose dick your taking next? So you’re own pimp then I assume too

Dread King Malcor 2020/03/24(Tue)02:00 No. 959598 ID: 5245b2
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>>959575
Li: I WISH! My boss gives me free reign on most things, but sometimes it’s “go there, grab this artifact” or “kill this rival deity’s warlock” or “go here, wreck shop”.
I want to just solve all my problems by getting laid, but noooooooooo! Sometimes I have to kill people and steal shit! I do get breaks, so it’s not all bad. I just wish I could get fucked more often, y’know?
Li: Ahn~ Won't need lube where we're goin', I am SOAKED.
Wrecker: You sure it's gonna fit?
Li: Honey, I can fit ANYTHING, so just sit back, relax and pump me full of your hot, thick jizz~

>>959598
Don't dislocate your jaw

so you're basically a succubus

I have a couple of choking concerns about this whole thing.

https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/861482-hamsters

>>959598
well those stretchy powers seem handy for stuff like this. Show wrecker there a nice time, probably hasn't had anyone that can comfortably take him in... ever

>>959599
I won't! This isn't going down my throat~
>>959608
I guess, yeah?
>>959610
Oh man, the Boss loves puns.

Very well, proceed with the stuffing and the expansion of the pelvis

>>959598
You could perhaps change your mass wideness and size of your body so you can take him like probably no one can

>>959644
You know? I was going to do that, but then I saw >>960026
Looks like a better plan to me!

Dread King Malcor 2020/04/07(Tue)19:06 No. 961102 ID: 5245b2
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>>Engaging PILLAR MODE

>>Pillar Mode:
>Height: 8'3
>Weight: 385lbs
>Cup Size: E
>Maximum Weight Capacity: 1108 lbs
>Notes: "Mezametamae waga arujitachi yo!"

>>961102
AYAYAYAYAYAYAYYYYYY!!!

Proceed.

>>961102
oh, sweet form
rock his world

Dread King Malcor 2020/05/01(Fri)06:22 No. 964533 ID: 5245b2
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"And then we DIDN'T have to stop because my boss had a job that coULDN'T WAIT 'TIL THE NEXT DAY!!"
>Except that's exactly what happened. Li's phone buzzed not five minutes in, and both
the participants and the whole audience were horrendously blueballed.

Dread King Malcor 2020/06/08(Mon)22:37 No. 969275 ID: 5245b2
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"sigh ...I really wish I could have had more fun, but what the boss says goes. I'm in a carriage moving towards a major city, something about a stolen scepter, and I'm going to be working with another warlock on this. Hope they're chill... and that they are NOT Porter."