Apathy.

Meh.

You can't really be driven by apathy, so that narrows it down, doesn't it?

Rage

Suggestion 2009/12/27(Sun)13:26 No. 99136 ID: b5c73a
File 126194921521.jpg - (24.29KB , 220x220 , anger.jpg )

Rage of course.
Just 'cause everyone on this board is fat and shiftless doesn't mean the characters have to be the same.

Faggots

Rage

vidya raeg

Apathy

Apathy

Let's go with RAGE!

RAGE!!!

Rage, dammit.

Apathy

Apathy. Apathy will always triumph in the end, or not.

Come on we already have allot of rage characters, apathy could be fun to do.

Apathy, or whatever.

Apathy, I guess. Or rage. Doesn't really matter.

Apath... Meh

Maaaan do we really have to chose... uhh apathy if you want, but thats only if you want cause i don't really care.

apa


fuckit. Too much work to type.

rage!

rage

>>100300
>>100301
>>100302
>>100303
>>100304
>>100305
>>100306
>>100307
...Spam much?

Suggestion 2009/12/28(Mon)20:16 No. 100328 ID: 915b46
File 126206016738.jpg - (83.07KB , 335x335 , spam.jpg )

>>100311
OUR DOOBIE SHALL BE MOTIVATED BY SPAM!

Do not spam.

>>100328
>>100395
lol

The Big City GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2009/12/29(Tue)14:58 No. 100851 ID: 31fa25
File 12621275235.png - (11.53KB , 800x600 , 2.png )

An apathetic hero he is.

Now, what weapon does he wield? You can choose either A (Tommy Gun), B (Derringer and Switchblade), or C (Revolver and Crowbar). A's got the most power, B can be hidden easily, and C combines a strong gun with a powerful club.

>>100851
C. A crowbar is useful for more than a club.

>>100851
C

Suggestion 2009/12/29(Tue)15:06 No. 100854 ID: c14745
File 126212799350.jpg - (17.02KB , 300x288 , Cookiemonster.jpg )

>>100851
C.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2009/12/29(Tue)15:32 No. 100859 ID: 31fa25
File 126212955348.png - (9.54KB , 800x600 , 3.png )

>>100852 >>100853 >>100854

The Revolver and Crowbar have been chosen.

Now, what do you value most in a companion?

A-Strength
B-Intelligence
C-Savvy

Savvy.

>>100859
Strength!

Savvy looks like a lawn gnome; I'm gonna have to pick that over Sergal. It's a difficult choice though.

Savvy.
Oh god please not a sergal

Savvy.

Intelligence. I fucking hate gnomes.

B, just to be different.

B) Intelligence

Strength.

Savvy!

Strength!

Intelligence. Definitely intelligence.

>>100888
Samefag~

b

>>100891

I didn't realize GREEN had his name programed into his iPhone! ;_;

>>100903
Are you Greens gay lover?

>>100908

Brother.

>>100916
Same thing.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2009/12/30(Wed)10:24 No. 101370 ID: 31fa25
File 126219749931.png - (21.42KB , 800x600 , 4.png )

Looks like we have a tie between savvy and intelligence. Intelligence wins the coin flip. And now, without further interruption, let's begin.

Silent. It's silent as usual here in the office. The air around me smells stale with the smoke from these cheap cigarettes. Everything I can think to do just seems a bit pointless, so I've been sitting here, feet propped up for who knows how long as I wait for a thought to come by.

Another boring day.

>>101370
Be bored in a more hard-boiled manner.

>>101370
Sip jin in a hardboiled manner.

Retrieve eyes from desk.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2009/12/30(Wed)10:49 No. 101404 ID: 31fa25
File 126219895274.png - (21.37KB , 800x600 , 5.png )

>>101373 >>101374

Whatever. Smoking and drinking at the same the same time seems like it would be hardboiled. Whatever that means.

>>101389

They're on the other side of my head, you blithering monkey scrotum.

>>101370
You need a window, so you can eye suspicious passerby's though the blinds while sullenly sipping your gin.

>>101405
NEW MISSION
ACQUIRE WINDOW

Order a pizza.

>>101404
Smoking causes lung cancer.

Devise a complex apparatus made from clockwork-parts, mirrors and orphan souls that enables you to see your right side.
Also answer me in a less hard-boiled manner.

>>101414
Drinking cures it

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2009/12/30(Wed)12:37 No. 101484 ID: 31fa25
File 126220547422.png - (13.18KB , 800x600 , 6.png )

>>101405 >>101411

I already have a window on the other wall! My door's across the room, and it'd be stupid to put my desk facing the other way. I'm on the third story here anyhow, it's not like I could eye people.

>>101414 >>101418

I think this speaks for itself.

>>101415

No.

>>101412

Pizza. Ugh. I hate pizza. Maybe Chinese or something, I dunno.

That's boring. Thai food is where it's at.

>>101484

Enough of doing nothing in your office.

Go outside and do nothing out there.

lets get some tacos

>>101484
Find your crime fighting buddy.

>>101484
also
WINDOW ACQUIRED
QUEST COMPLETE
LETS HAVE EM EXPS

Sing us the song of your people.

how many bullets do you have for your revolver?

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/01(Fri)09:23 No. 102913 ID: e0aea5
File 126236663184.png - (37.13KB , 800x600 , 7.png )

>>101485 >>101488 >>101487

One way or the other, I'd like to go and get some food. There's a good Mexican not far from here. I suppose we could go there and see it.

>>101536

That's racist man.

>>101773

On me? Gun's usually loaded and I got another 6 bullets. 12 bullets. Another box in the desk if things get hairy.

>>101489

My buddy? Oh, Jez. Sure, I could do that. "Jez, you there?"

After only a split second, the door opens. She always seems way too eager to see me. "Hey boss! What's up, boss? Anything I can help ya with, boss?"

>>102913
Go and get food then. Be on the lookout for crime that you can ignore unless someone pays you to care.

>>102913
Man, time to Jez all over her.

I mean, maybe you should go get food with Jez. Having some company for food would be good, right?

Hug Jez.

so what exactly do you do? by your get up i can assume that your some sort of investigator, but is that the case?

>>102913
hug jez
get tacos

>>102913
Jez wouldn't be short for Jezebel would it? Kind of an ominous name for a female partner huh?

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/01(Fri)14:17 No. 103003 ID: e0aea5
File 126238427128.png - (21.45KB , 800x600 , 8.png )

>>102933 >>102934 >>102945

I suppose I'll ask her to come get some food with me. "Hey Jez. You hungry? Let's get some Mexican."

"I'm always up for food if you're paying, boss!" She says cheerily, following me out of the office with huge clomping footsteps.

Oh and don't worry, I'd never do anything nowadays without the prospect of money. Those days are behind me.

>>102938 >>102946

What? Stop that. She's my assistant. I couldn't do anything with her, it would get weird. It's not even short for anything, her name is Jez.

>>102944

Private Investigator. I used to be a policeman until... but nevermind about that for now. Nowadays, I do low-profile jobs for low amounts of money. None of them ever matter much. It's always husbands wanting to know if their wives are cheating, mothers worried about what their kids are doing, or something fucking stupid like that.

Jez talks distractedly as we walk. Something about what she's doing after work. She's beginning to quiet down though.

>>103003
Well you know how women are. Always yammering on about nothing.

Is she reliable help? Do you trust her with your life? You're a P-I, you may have to trust it to her one day.

Also those are large boots she wears.

Walk in a more hard-boiled manner.

>>103006
Looks pretty hardboiled to me. Compliment Jez on the size of her boots.

That's BOOTS, not boobs. Don't mess it up.

Continue being far too hardboiled for any of that talky dame flapdoodle. Give a dismissive grunt from time to time to confirm that you can hear her but just don't really care that much.

Reminisce about interesting happenings and/or current events.

Hey Green_, since I'm unlikely to remember to show you this later:
http://www.tgchan.org/kusaba/questdis/res/316577.html#318357

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/04(Mon)22:10 No. 105343 ID: 9e9b47
File 126267180829.png - (17.16KB , 800x600 , 9.png )

>>103015 >>103005

Yeah, those boots. We helped a shoe store out when some guys were shakin' it for money, and she insisted her share of the reward be paid in the biggest iron-toed boots she could get. The guy was only too happy to oblige. "Glad to see you still got those boots. They look good on ya."

She giggles. "Thanks, boss! Best purchase I ever made."

Jez. What can I say about her. She's kind of eccentric every now and then, but she's very loyal. She's kind of been the one constant in my life since the incident. Smart as a whip too, but annoying as hell sometimes.

>>103019

I promptly ignore the rest of her jabber as we make it to the restaurant. At least when we get the menus, she shuts up. No matter how many times she comes here she always takes a while to order. I reckon there's a few minutes for reminiscing. I'd go over current events, but this is The Big City. We have a newspaper for stuff like that.

So, what do you want to know?

>>105343
What was the 'incident'?

What are your parents like?

>>105343
How did you meet Jez?

Why are both your eyes on the same side of your head?

>>105343
How can you be so hardboiled? And an ever better question, what can I do to become as hardboiled as you?

What other kinds of races live in The Big City? Also, why's it called that?

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/10(Sun)10:48 No. 108763 ID: 9e9b47
File 126314932485.png - (7.06KB , 800x600 , lazyartinfodump.png )

>>105346

The incident... I'm not gonna go over the details right now, but it's only fair I tell you about it. I used to work for the police department around these parts. I got my partner killed one day when we were trying to bust a gang around these parts. I was fired, and ever since I've been doing freelance work to stay afloat.

>>105350

My parents? Why do you want to know about them? They live over in Doobie Glen way on the other side of The Big City. Dad runs the general store, and Mom's a drunk. I haven't gone to see them in a few years, but they both sounded alright last time we spoke on the phone.

>>105353

About a month info my freelance work, I had to do a stakeout to see if this guy was fucking this woman who wasn't his wife. I was gonna have to wait there a few days, so I hired Jez as someone inconspicuous to swap out stakeout shifts with. She asked if she could stay on after the job... I've just never seen the need to let her go.

>>105367

I don't know if that's sarcastic or not. Well, it's a strange evolutionary thing. I guess it helped us back in our native lands or... something.

>>105492

Smoke all the time, and talk very little, always in a gruff voice. You can never become as hardboiled as me, though. I'm starting to like that word.

>>105534

What sort of races DON'T live in this damn city. The guy who owns the office next to mine is a Gorrock to the right and a Minotaur to the left. Our garbage man is a Zombie, and a very polite one at that. There's at least 50 races I can name, and probably twice that number actually living around here.

As for why it's called The Big City, it's called that because it just is. There's no other cities in the world that even begin to rival the size of this place. Most of the world is a blasted wasteland as well, so for the most part people don't WANT to live in other places in the first place.

Hmm. That's weird. We're the only people here, but nobody's shown up to take our orders yet.

Complaining sounds like a good idea, why don't you look around for staff?

>>108764
Complaining is not a hardboiled thing to do.

Tell Jez to go see what's taking the waitress so long. Make it plain that you don't really care but you're getting a bit hungry.

>>108763
make a note of picking up a catgirl prostitute when we go home tonight

also we should search the restaurant I guess

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/10(Sun)12:44 No. 108789 ID: 9e9b47
File 126315625389.png - (11.52KB , 800x600 , 11.png )

>>108764 >>108777 >>108770

After a moment to consider, I make a grunt at Jez. "Hey, go see what's holdin' them up."

"Sure, boss!" She calls, hopping down and rushing off. There's a few minutes where she looks around the restaurant, and finally goes back towards the door that leads into the kitchen. She opens the door, pauses, and looks around at me.

"Yeah, I found the waitress. she's real dead, boss. Been pummeled, it looks like." Jez says. She begins waving her arms frantically. "What do you want to do, boss?"

Stand up, point your finger in the air, and yell "I'll take the case!"

>>108791
No, unless anyone is willing to pay us for it we won't touch that damn case with a 10 foot pole. Random dead waitresses don't really pay anything.

I say we rifle through her stuff to see if anyone would be willing to pay for solving the murder. Or she may just have some cash we use to buy booze and smokes.

Call the cops. You ain't being paid to solve this, and it isn't personal, unless you know the waitress.

Help yourself to some tortilla chips.

>>108823
Yeah that's a bonus I missed. Get some food from the kitchen, although that might disturb a crime scene. But do we care enough about that to let it stand in the way of our hunger?

You know what dead bodies have? Wallets.

It's a tough economy, man. Find the broad's wallet and pocket what's inside.

>>109067
Bad idea, as it would disturb the crime scene. Leave it mostly intact. And wear gloves.

If there's cash, only take half of it.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/12(Tue)01:33 No. 109626 ID: 9e9b47
File 126328879599.png - (20.21KB , 800x600 , 12.png )

>>108791 >>108793

Hmm. Well I'll reserve judgment until I see the crime scene, but I'm not motivated at all to take the case. Death happens a lot. It's part of life here. Doesn't look like there'd even be a possibility of payment either.

>>108823 >>108825 >>109067 >>109162

I'm hesitant to call the cops. They're always so... inquisitive nowadays. Not like when I was there. An anonymous tip when we leave is the way to go unless I want a beating with a rubber hose. I lock the door and flip the sign to indicate a 15 minute break before going back to see the body.

There's some tortilla chips and salsa, so I scarf them down. I'm mighty hungry. For the first time I get to see the body. Looks like a Burmecian. She's real dead. A rivulet of blood flows from her massive head wound.

"She's only got a few bucks in her wallet, boss." Jez says conversationally. I don't even know where she keeps the gloves, but there they are. "I dunno boss, no real clues in this thing. You think we should just book it?"

Anywhere in particular that blood is flowing? And can you determine any specifics about that head wound, like what might have caused it?

>>109626
Does that blood lead somewhere?

>>109626
Well we got what we came for. Let's go find a bar and drink up our new ill gotten gains. This here is a case for someone who actually cares, or gets paid to care and we're neither.

>>109626
Book it, leave an anonymous tip, leave the cash so it doesn't look like a robbery.

>>109644
Hey now that is our cash. This crime isn't our problem and if the cops can't solve it because we stole some cash then that's not our problem either.

Our problem at the moment is that we're to sober. It's time to find a smoky dank hole of a bar and sit down drinking bourbon and staring in the glass while smoking. Let's break the limit of how hardboiled someone can be.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/14(Thu)13:26 No. 110658 ID: 9e9b47
File 126350440229.png - (22.72KB , 800x600 , 13.png )

>>109627 >>109629

I go in closer for a better look at the head. Looks like her brain's gone. Shit. Bad way to go. I can see right into the empty skull.

The blood's flowing into a drain, it looks like. That's convenient I suppose.

>>109636 >>109644 >>109646

I'll compromise. I tell Jez to take half the money. Anything else I should do before booking it? I could really go for a drink right now.

>>110658
Sure, get a drink. We don't mind.

Wait, someone took out her BRAIN?

...That's just... weird. What kind of thing would do that?

>>110658
Get a drink. Make sure the bar is a dank basement with a permanent shroud of smoke in it. Order bourbon without any ice in it.

It could also be good idea to remember if you have seen this kind of murder before. It could be a coincidence that someone steals a brain when you're near but it could also be an elaborate revenge scheme from someone you put away in your cop days.

What are those marks on her back? Are those tiretracks? And what are those brown bits, hair?

But yeah, help yourself to some chips, go get a drink with Jez.

Write down her name and other personal information in the wallet.

Become inwardly shaken by this. Pretend like you don't care, but brood like an alcoholic Batman.

Think back to anything that's happened lately that might be tangentially related to this.

Go to a speakeasy and complain about prohibition while mulling this over. Unless there's no prohibition.

Tell us your name.

Suddenly, Illithids. Everywhere.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/15(Fri)18:27 No. 111435 ID: 9e9b47
File 126360885655.png - (18.68KB , 800x600 , 14b.png )

>>110662 >>110663 >>110779

Yeah, there's something that could have done this. Illithid. I mean, I don't know what else could have wanted the brain so bad. I can't show Jez that I'm worried, but this could be very bad. The Illithid patrol their own kind to a degree. They try to live carefully by the rules. This could be very very bad. The Illithid don't like people knowing about their... indiscretions.

>>110673 >>110670 >>110660

Yeah... yeah, we should go get a drink. This is entirely too much. "Jez, let's go. We need..."

Before I can say any more, there's a sudden noise at the door. It shakes, like someone trying to open it, and then there's a knocking. "¡Eh! Abre la puerta o te juro por Dios que voy a patear abajo!" (Hey! What's going on and why is this door locked?!) The voice shouts. I can hear a set of keys jingling.

Oh crap.

>>111435
Um, go out the back door?

Fuck it, just answer the door and tell the dude what's going on.

Answer it. Maybe you can get hired.

If you run, you'll become (more of) a suspect.

>>111435
i swear to god GREEN if its a ludicolo im going to internet stab you

>>111470
Second.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/15(Fri)22:00 No. 111579 ID: 9e9b47
File 12636216379.png - (21.69KB , 800x600 , hahaPlayer_1.png )

>>111462 >>111440 >>111470 >>111509

Hmmm... fuck it. I open the door. The guy behind the door sways back on one foot, taken off guard. "Excuse me, sir. I'm afraid that there's been a murder here. Are you the owner of this establishment?"

"El infierno sí, yo soy el dios maldito manager! ¿Y qué diablos quiere decir que está muerta? Keep it down, vamos a entrar y hablar de esto. Palabra de esta mataría negocio!" (Indeed sir I am the owner! Dear lord, dead? Please, I should get out of the street to discuss such business. It's disgraceful to her memory.) The Ludicolo says, coming in out of the street.

"Look, I'm a private investigator. Word of an incident like this is never good. I'll find the guys that did this, you pay me." I say, laying it out nice and straight. "Not sure if you know how the police are nowadays, but I don't think you'd want them coming around if you could avoid it."

The guy thinks about it for a long minute. "Sí. Supongo que te contrato a pesar de que parezca un accidente de tren. Ahora, vamos a ver si puedo encontrar una bolsa de basura para que el cuerpo." (Yes I'll hire you, you have a forthright manner about you. Now, let's see if we can move the poor girl to a grave.) He says, and bustles away towards the back room.

"So... what happened, boss?" Jez asks skeptically.

"We're hired. How about that, eh?" I ask, allowing a moment's cockiness.

"Great work boss! Now I can get paid proper! So, what do you think we should go and do first?" She asks, giddy to be with a job.

>>111579
...how does he know it's a girl? Tsk tsk.

Ask him about the employee. This seems like the best place to start. You know, who she is, what she's doing, if she has any enemies. Also, find out about local illithid activity.

>>111579
GODDAMNIT GREEN I HATE THAT DAMN MEXICAN PINEAPPLE DUCK

>>111589
You must learn to love the mexican pineapple duck. Don't make us peer pressure you.

>>111579
Wait that's not what he's saying

>>111579
Well you need gossip about the Illithid. So let's find a bar near their part of town and get hammared while investigating.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/23(Sat)20:54 No. 117576 ID: 9e9b47
File 126430884518.png - (17.90KB , 800x600 , 14.png )

>>111588

I ask the guy more about the girl. Unfortunately, he has little to tell me. She works here, stays in a small apartment by herself, didn't bother nobody. I write down her address, the only useful bit of into we got.

>>111742

Jez and I head to the Filthy Scrotum. It may not be the best bar in town, but they know me and Jez and the drinks are cheap. Thankfully Jez waits until I'm into my second bourbon before she starts in.

"So, you think it was Illithid, boss? I've got to tell you boss, I got my doubts." She says as she receives her second pint of beer. "First off, the Illithid here have it good. They don't stand for one of their own going rogue. Now, it DOES sort of make sense that it might happen to a random worker, but even then they run a terrible risk of being seen. I don't know, boss. Seems weird all around."

"Yeah... I agree." I respond slowly, mulling the problem over in my mind. Well, there's two ways I can go from here. There's a bar called Encephalon across town that all the Illithid hang out at. They don't necessarily discourage other races. I could go there and see what I can find out. However, I could also go to my old... friend. Well. Sort of a friend. Alhoon. He knows a lot about Illithid, seeing as he was one once. That option has the advantage of privacy.

>>110673

Oh, I never introduced myself. The name's McDooble.

Go talk to Alhoon. Let's keep things on the DL for now.

Alhoon, get it from the source first.

Yeah, let's talk to him first. If we don't get any leads, THEN we'll go antagonize a bar full of inebriated and incredibly powerful monsters. Good thing doobies are resistant to psionics, huh?

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/24(Sun)00:09 No. 117724 ID: 9e9b47
File 126432058391.png - (33.40KB , 800x600 , 16.png )

Alright then. Here we are. Alhoon Manor. I have to admit I'm more than a little nervous at the thought of going to talk to it. The manor itself is rather unobtrusive as far as manors go, and the lawn is always kept perfectly mowed. A sturdy black iron gate bars our entry however. There is what looks like a voice box off to the left. Hmm. I hate buzzing into places like this. Makes you feel like you're a door-to-door salesman or some shit.

>>117589

Yes, that is a good thing. Actually I'm a bit worried about Jez, come to that. Illithids are nasty, and Alhoon are worse. I don't need to lose her so she can become something's dinner. I already paid her in advance for this week.

Ask Jez what she knows about this guy, and also tell her to be careful.

Have Jez activate the voice box.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/24(Sun)14:10 No. 117909 ID: 9e9b47
File 126437103687.png - (12.08KB , 800x600 , alhoon1.png )

>>117727

I'm not sure that Jez would know anything about these guys, or at least not as much as me. She's never even met or heard of this guy before. Alhoons are Illithid that turned themselves into a lich. There's very few of them, and for good reason. They're incredibly powerful, and they never die of old age. They have forever to hone their skills. I met this one at a fundraiser for the police department back in the day. It gave extremely generously to the drive, and struck up a conversation with me. We've been... acquaintances ever since. Every now and then he's invited me to dinner with him so we can catch up. He seems interested in everything, and that always makes me suspicious.

>>117819

"Jez, ring the house. Let's get this over with." I say, finishing off the cigarette and stamping it out. "Watch your ass in there. Tell me if things start to go wrong."

She nods and presses the call button. "Sure thing, boss!" There is a staticy noise for a moment, and then silence. The gates swing silently open. Everything is too calm as we walk up to the house. This place is so clean and bare. It's like a government building.

As we approach the door, it opens slowly, and Alhoon stands there in the doorway. I feel something, like a breeze touching my brain. A voice enters my brain without passing through my ears first. Ah, McDooble. Such a pleasure to see you this evening. And young Jez as well. Excellent. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company tonight? I'm afraid the only alcohol I have available is a rather fine Sahuagin Port. I presume that will suffice. Won't you come in? He watches us impassively with those cold, white eyes.

Tell him you'll be honest, you need information about illithids, he can probably already tell from Jez, so you might as well tell him the truth.

Do Alhoon have to eat? Also, check Jez.

"Save your fancypants drink. I'm thinkin' about somethin' bad I saw. Had a couple questions."

Yeah, turn down the drink. Ask if there's some other reason someone would need a brain.

Be sure to ask him how he's been as well. He's being very kind, after all.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/28(Thu)23:10 No. 120657 ID: 9e9b47
File 126474901799.png - (19.80KB , 800x600 , 18.png )

>>117954 >>117978 >>117915

"Save your fancypants drink. I'm thinkin' about somethin' bad I saw. Had a couple questions."

Of course. Please come into my parlor. I know you mortals appreciate some time off your feet. He thinks evenly, beckoning us inside.

The parlor is... well, weird. None of the furniture matches, though I can tell it's all well made. The only thing on the walls is a huge yellow-tinted window. Alhoons have a strange idea about how the world works. "Look, here's the deal. We just found a girl in the restaurant we were at with her brain missing. Think it might've been an Illithid. Can you give us some advice? there Illithids that are more prone to that stuff?"

The Alhoon is quiet for a long moment before speaking. I see. What state was the girl in when you found her?

"Bleeding all over the place. I dunno, she had a big hole in the back of her head." I say, wondering what the hell kind of question that is.

It was not Illithids then. The thing says calmly. It may be going to Illithids, but Illithids did not make the actual kill. We tend to make a small hole in the crest of the skull. Our beak can reach inside and snap up all the brain we need once we've punched through the skull.

"Well... what do you mean it may be going to Illithids?"

Some of the gangs here in this city tend to store fresh brains in jars when they kill someone. Some of the Illithids will pay for sentient brains if they're fresh enough. It's nothing at all like a fresh meal of course. Alhoon mentions casually.

>>117936

I remember him saying once that Alhoon don't HAVE to eat... but that's not saying they don't.

Jez looks... quiet. She gets like that when she's listening carefully. I hope her brain's not getting fucked with.

See if you can't get a more direct lead.

As if he can point us directly to any of those gangs in particular. A list of names would at least be a helpful jumping-off point.

Ask him if he's doing something to Jez.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/29(Fri)18:21 No. 121173 ID: 9e9b47
File 12648181126.png - (27.01KB , 800x600 , 19.png )

>>120725 >>120792

"Well, you think you can give me a name? Something more to go off?" I ask point-blank.

Hmm. Well, honestly not that many of the gangs traffic in brains. They're hard to maintain. If I were you I'd ask for the Yellowed Skull. Perhaps they have a use for that brain. I can't imagine why they needed a brain so bad they left the body lying around. I wouldn't reccomend going to see the Illithid. They tend to react strongly to people insinuating they paid for a crime to happen.

I stiffen a bit. The Yellowed Skull is a Necromancer gang. Very nasty folks. "Why would a bunch of Necromancers want a brain anyhow?"

Oh, a skilled Necromancer can divine much information from a dead brain. They're also used in a variety of rituals, of course. Honestly I don't know if I could give you more information than that. Perhaps a member of one of our City's other reputable gangs got contracted for a brain. The problem is that the answers could be so varied.

>>120826

"You're not doing anything to my partner, are you?" I ask, the words ripping out of my mouth. Almost at once I wish I could take them back.

Absolutely not, Mr. McDooble. In fact the question mildly offends me. I would never do anything to cause you strife. We are friends, after all. I do understand your worries, however and I don't fault your outburst. Your partner is completely mentally sound. He says, with just the barest hint of reproach in his voice.

"Yeah I'm fine, boss." Jez says, looking back and forth at us.

I nod without saying a word as I wonder if I should ask him anything else.

Apologize for the outburst... in a hardboiled way of course.

Extract yourself from brain eating zombie mansion, check out the dead dames' domicile.

"Naw... Naw, that was real out of line. This is just getting to me. Dunno why. Ain't like me."

Thank him for his time and head off to investigate the victim's home. What time is it?

How much do you know about necromancers, McDooble? What all do you know about Yellow Skull? Ask him for info if you don't have it covered. It seems like a solid lead, I guess we should start there with known hideouts, etc.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/29(Fri)23:40 No. 121634 ID: 9e9b47
File 126483725121.png - (29.90KB , 800x600 , 20.png )

>>121232 >>121203

"Naw... Naw, that was real out of line. This is just getting to me. Dunno why. Ain't like me." I tell him, and get up. "Well. I guess my partner and I had better get going. Always a pleasure, Alhoon."

Of course, Mr. McDooble. As I said, do not trouble yourself unduly. You have always been an honorable... he pauses for just a split-second longer than necessary. ...creature. I of course look forward to our next dinner. Your partner is of course welcome as well. Good evening.

>>121238

Necromancers. Well, magic's legal here of course. Can't really regulate that amount of spellcasting, what with so many races. Strictly speaking however, necromancy's illegal. Now, owning undead isn't illegal. So in most cases, if some jerkoff wizard makes a Shade to guard his shit, nobody's gonna ask HOW he made it. It's just when wizards start killing people, or stitching together huge monstrosities that the law begins to take an interest. The Yellowed Skull aren't wizards, they're necromancers and they're proud of it. Ever since the Illithid moved up from the sewers, there's been a lot of empty living space. Most people think that the Yellowed Skull meets down there.

As I light a cigarette, Jez speaks up. "So, I guess we should head over to the girls' house, eh boss?"

The only other place I can think to check is a bar called Oingo Boingo, the undead bar. I'd really rather not go there if I can help it. I just heard rumors that Necromancers meet there sometimes.

Let's go to the victim's abode. Maybe there's a clue.

>>121657
I agree with this. We need to know more about the victim to know more about who might want her brain.

Yup. Let's check the victim's house.

Go to the bar!

Go to her place. If there's been foul play, someone else may also be going there.

>>121762
The bar is always the correct place for a hard boiled detective. Send off Jez to check out the dames place, and remind her to look out for anything that you could sell for booze money. You have a need to fuel.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/30(Sat)13:20 No. 121866 ID: 9e9b47
File 126488643854.png - (11.68KB , 800x600 , 21.png )

>4 for victim's abode
>2 for undead bar

We head to the victim's place. I think about going to the bar and just sending Jez here, but the place is in a bad part of town. A lot of Trolls and Werewolves around here. The Lost 'Bolds also tend to get mixed up in the area.

We get to the apartment building with little trouble. It's around 10 or so at night, and people tend to stay off the streets about this time. We find the room with little trouble, but when we get there, Jez tries the knob and informs me of another problem. "Hey boss, place is locked. What do you think we should do?"

Knock.

If no answer, barge open.

>>121866
Can we pick it open?

Discreetly picking sounds like a good idea.

If that doesn't work, kick in the door?

Pick the lock if possible.

Make sure Jez isn't spotted picking that lock.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/01/31(Sun)23:41 No. 123138 ID: 9e9b47
File 126501007271.png - (170.79KB , 800x600 , 22.png )

>>121878

I knock first, trying to make it stern but quiet. People would be better off not knowing we'd stopped by. There's no answer.

>>121904 >>121906 >>121996 >>122574

I nod my head towards the door. "Take care of that, Jez."

She nods back, slips on her gloves and fiddles at the door as I make sure nobody is watching. After a minute, there's a click. The door swings open. "Shit. This isn't good, boss." Jez says as she looks around.

The living room is almost completely blackened. It looks like something flash-burned the whole room. Besides a small patch near the door, everything is black. I think a large lump is a couch, but I can't tell what anything else is anymore. There's one door leading out of this room, on the opposite wall.

Mmm... go in and close the door behind ya. Watch out for any extra traps. (Paranoid I know)
Maybe you can piece something out of the mess.

>>123138
Hmm, if you move around in here you will leave footprints in the burnt floor.

Weigh the risks and benefits of investigating the other room.

See what items you can reach at the edge of the burn.

Go investigate the other room.

Look for what caused the burn.

>>123138
Fuck. This is bad. Flashburned apartments indicate covering something up, someone really doesn't want anyone to find the truth here. I think that requires a bit of extra cash to convince you to keep going.

Anyway. Search through the place for any remains and be on the lookout for any signs that they left someone to watch the place.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/02/04(Thu)20:58 No. 125551 ID: 9e9b47
File 126534589165.png - (89.43KB , 800x600 , 23.png )

>>123141
I close the door behind me and lock it. No need in having prying eyes. I nod to Jez, who gets to work looking around for any signs of something dangerous, taking care not to step on the ash. This part of the room looks terrible. The whole place is blackened. Looks like a couch on the left, table on the right and some... thing against the back wall. A cabinet or something.

>>123185
The only item it looks like I can reach is a burned book on the table. The pages look blackened from here.

>>123498
The odd thing is, there's nothing immediately apparent that caused this. No smell of gasoline or anything. Except for the fact that the place is blackened, you'd think it smelled just fine. We couldn't even tell from the hall.

>>123151 >>123687 >>123200

Yeah, the implications of this flash-burn are bad. I don't know if I should go into the other room or do something else in here. I pause at the edge of the blackened area, looking on.

Damn.... hey, ears you need to level with us. Do you or Jez have any magical tricks up your sleeve?
If not then ya better get to searchin'. Don't forget the little areas like under couches, and behind shelves.

Mmmm.... since it didn't spread, maybe it was some sort of magic fire flash?

Grab the book, see what you can make of it. There's a little something hidden behind the couch by the way.

Bust dramatically into the next room. Take out your gun.

Call your friend, Larry the Sergal, to come and help.

See if you can read anything on that book. Try to read what is exposed before you move it, just in case it crumbles apart or something.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/02/09(Tue)23:57 No. 129109 ID: 9e9b47
File 126578866990.png - (25.25KB , 800x600 , 22.png )

>>125636 >>125669

The book is a hardcover one. I pick it up gingerly, but it seems surprisingly durable. Flipping through it, it looks to be... a trashy romance novel. Wow, this things has to be hundreds of pages long. This is insane. Who has a hardcover trashy romance novel. I find an unburnt page and read. 'Once he’s lost his footing, I pull myself off his cock – my cunt makes a disappointed queeb sound as we separate…I come two more times when I spin myself around and around on his cock like a top, and take the last few strokes down from the rear.'

Ugh. This is foul. Who would read this crap. I pocket the book.

MCDOOBLE IS NOW 45% LADED

>>125636

I finally decide to step onto the black area. Surprisingly, I don't leave noticeable tracks. The thing behind the couch turns out to just be a small piece of ceiling tile.

>>125580

Nah, neither one of us is magical. I mean, I got your basic Doobie powers, but nothing like shootin' fireballs. Jez can tell if something's magical if she studies it long enough however. She's a talented little bugger. There doesn't seem to be much interesting in the room besides the book and the chunk of tile. You don't need to be a wizard to suspect magic however. No bomb could start and stop such intense heat so suddenly.

>>125639

I go to bust into the next room... and Jez is already in there. I sigh and put away my gun, deciding to let her take care of things for a minute.

>>125661

Larry the Sergal... that's a name I haven't thought of in a while. I wonder what he's even up to anymore. I don't know if it would be a good idea to call him though. The boy means well, and frankly he's strong as a rhino on meth, but... eh. I suppose I do feel slightly responsible for him in a way. He got kicked off the force for the same thing as myself. Idiot followed me in when I told him not to... damn. I don't know.

I scan the kitchen. Place looks nice enough. Nothing burned. Door in the back looks like it leads to the bedroom.

Check the bedroom. Brace for dead hookers.

...They could be there.

If there's nothing reasonable here, go check out the bedroom.

FUCK yea call Larry. Things are gonna get awesome.

>>129109
It sounds like you could need some back up. Larrys muscles will come in handy if you have to go down into the sewers and crack a few ribs to get some answears.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/02/11(Thu)21:31 No. 130055 ID: 9e9b47
File 126595268914.png - (23.88KB , 800x600 , burbedtemplate2.png )

>>129125 >>129564

I head into the bedroom. Jez is checking out the kitchen some more. She seems to be looking over the silverware with a careful eye. The room itself feels especially girly, even though the colors don't match and the window on the wall looks out onto a brick wall. There's a door to the left. Probably leading to the bathroom. The room looks surprisingly clean.

>>129831 >>129832

I mean, shit. There's a phone right here. I could just call him right now. I know it's hard for him to get a job... meh.

So, what should I do first?

Damn that's harsh. Check the drawers, brace for fertility assistants.

Scour the room, in addition to the draws check under the bed, under the mattress, etc.

I'd hold of on calling Larry right now, wait till you have a more definite need of muscle.

>>130055
Examine poster.

>>130055
Check out the bathroom, then call your mate. After that you should check through the drawers for a diary or drugs. Something that would give someone a motive.

Yes... Carefully inspect that picture on the wall first.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/02/17(Wed)21:23 No. 133945 ID: 9e9b47
File 126647059363.png - (159.14KB , 960x540 , lesbos3.png )

>>130060 >>130082

The drawers turn up nothing incredibly interesting. She seems to have a lot of... comic books. Looking through them, they seem to be all about young girls who like other young girls. Man this chick was weird. Most of these books are about magic girls who dress in funky little skirts. There's no fertility assistants, but I find a couple dildos in a drawer. One looks like a... tongue sticking off a vag. Eww.

Under the mattress there's a sock with a nice little stack of money inside. I take it. It's weird that she's got this money just sitting under the mattress though.

>>130100 >>130134

I check out the picture on the wall. Huh. Certainly is strange. Why would she want a picture of a Sergal making out with a Nevrean? I mean it's hot and all, but still strange.

>>130107

I keep getting mixed signals to call him or not. For now I'll check the bathroom, then call him. Unless you got a better idea?

Bathroom is key place to check.

>>133945
Lick the one with the tongue.

>>133945
Check out the bathroom. Be on the lookout for anything that could indicate why someone would brutally murder her. I mean she seems bit sexually odd, but that is hardly a reason to scoop out her brain.

If there's nothing to indicate a motive in her apartment I think you're going to have to give your friend a call. Then you're going to have to find a yellow skull member and make him spill the beans if he or she knows what happened, or who might know what happened.

Pick up the phone and press Redial.

good idea, let's see if we can figure out the last person she called.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/02/19(Fri)17:58 No. 135569 ID: 9e9b47
File 126663112578.png - (18.72KB , 800x600 , 26.png )

>>133975

Um, I put it back immediately. That's gross.

>>133947 >>134281

I'll check the bathroom in just a sec. May as well do the things I need here first.

>>134289 >>134341

I pick the phone up. There's a steady dialtone. I hit the redial button, and there's a moment of ringing. Then, a voice answers the phone. It sounds bewildered, angry, and a little bit scared. "What? Who the fuck is this? How are you calling from this number?"

Don't say anything for a while, see if the voice on the other end keeps talking. What does the voice sound like? Any chance of identifying gender or species?

>>135569
"Hey, calm down. You sound scared, are you in trouble?"

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/02/19(Fri)21:00 No. 135726 ID: 9e9b47
File 126664203071.png - (19.40KB , 800x600 , 27.png )

>>135577

I wait for a minute. The voice pauses before speaking again. "I can hear you breathing over there motherfucker. You think you're smart? Well don't you worry, we got a crew headin' down there." The voice sounds female. It also sounds like she's trying to be a little more confident than she really is. She also sounds like something small. An Imp or something.

>>135589

"Hey, calm down." I'm not gonna ask her if she's in trouble. She certainly sounds like she isn't. "Something I can help you with?"

"So you ARE there. Hell yes there's something you can do to help me. How did you get this number? And who the hell are you? Don't mess with me, I am a VERY influential individual!" The mystery woman screams into the phone. I can hear the faint sounds of people murmuring in the background of the phone call.

Some guy asks, in a different language, "Madam, is it wise to continue this conversation?" He asks.

"Quiet! She hisses back in that strange language.

Tell her someone is dead, and if she knows anything about it, she had better tell you.

Tell her you aren't too concerned about it. Ask her if she knows ... sonofabitch, we never got the dead chick's name, did we? Fuck. Ask Jez if she knows the dead chick's name.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/02/19(Fri)22:28 No. 135791 ID: 9e9b47
File 126664733679.png - (19.96KB , 800x600 , LaziestUpdatesEver.png )

>>135738 >>135732

"Hey Clara, what's the dog's name?" I yell to Jez. If we're in a sensitive situation her name is Clara and mine is Humphrey. Dog's a term we use for dead person.

"Elizabeth!" Jez calls back. She sounds like she's finishing up in the kitchen. I can hear her boots clanking from here.

"Yeah Elizabeth is dead. Do you know something about that? It'd be a lot easier if you just tell me now."

There's a whispered conversation on the other side. Then the chick speaks again. She seems to have calmed down a bit. "She had something we want. If you know what's good for you you'll let this go. You're probably some stupid copper who's gotten in over his head. Well listen here. What we're doing is incredibly important. We don't need someone like you coming in and messing this shit up. I'm gonna remember your voice, you little bastard."

"The guys we sent should be more than enough for this son of a bitch." One of the background speakers says before the phone is slammed down. The phone goes dead.

>>135791
Drat. Can you figure out what that number was from the tones the phone made when you pressed redial?

Also we're gonna have to get moving soon. Unless you wanna try ambushing them, so we can find out who's behind this.

>>135791
Call your mate right now. Having a strong sergal ready to rip demons limb from limb would be a good idea right now. And you might want to get out of the apartment. Hide yourself somewhere else in the building until you got Sergal back up.

Fuck! Call for backup! Shit's about to get real.

Yeah, Call Larry. Let's see if we can't set up some kind of ambush. If he doesn't answer or something, then skeedaddle.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/02/20(Sat)23:40 No. 136605 ID: 9e9b47
File 126673802141.png - (27.23KB , 800x600 , 28.png )

>>135824

Maybe a normal human couldn't do it, but with my superior Doobie intellect I can decipher the number from the tones the phone made. I write it down in my notebook for later.

>>135913 >>136029 >>136063

I give Larry a call. The phone rings a few times, and then finally he answers. He sounds, as always, excited. "Hi, hi! Larry the Sergal!"

"Larry, it's McDooble." I need to make this as brief as possible.

"McDooble! Larry is so glad to hear you! How are you? How are you?!" He sounds WAY too excited now.

"Cut that shit, Larry. Look, we're about to be ambushed. Can you get down to Mean Street? Remember the big red apartment building? It's important. Apartment 16."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming!" I can hear the phone clatter to the floor, and the brief sound of footsteps, and then the ambient noise of the room. The guy didn't even hang up the phone when he left. I hang up.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/02/20(Sat)23:41 No. 136607 ID: 9e9b47
File 12667380952.png - (32.96KB , 800x600 , bathroom.png )

I go into the bathroom... woah. This looks bad.

There's a ring of small runes around the top of the ceiling, and then there's these other larger runes. They looks precisely drawn.

Does Jez know anything about magic? Maybe you should get her to come look at this?

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/02/21(Sun)09:22 No. 136689 ID: 9e9b47
File 126677297644.png - (127.90KB , 800x600 , 30.png )

>>136611

Jez isn't too magically adept. She knows what some runes mean and stuff though. I call her over to come look at the runes, while I record them in my notebook.

I head back to the front room, feeling anxious. I don't know if we should head downstairs to wait for Larry or not. I don't want to run into any fucking crazy necromancers.

Before I can think any further, there's a sudden rapping at the door. "Hello? Is someone there? Elizabeth?" The voice is male, elderly, and concerned.

>>136689
Pull out your gun, stand out of sight from the door and tell him to come in. Just because it sounds like an old man doesn't mean it is one.

don't make any noise.

Ready your crowbar(guns are just too noisy) just in case.

Don't respond to the voice. Get ready for attack.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/02/25(Thu)23:01 No. 138947 ID: 9e9b47
File 126716768525.png - (71.33KB , 800x600 , 31.png )

>>136693 >>136699 >>137218 >>136695

I take out my crowbar. The gun's a bit too noisy. I wait for a few minutes. The person on the other side of the door knocks a few more times, and then I hear footsteps walking away. I hope that wasn't a REAL concerned old guy.

Alright. So my choices seem to be wait here for Larry, or take Jez and try to leave now. If we stay there might be Necromancers.

>>138947
Head to the front of the place and try to intercept larry.

Take Jez and run. Have a feeling something terrible is going to happen.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/02/28(Sun)18:13 No. 140317 ID: 9e9b47
File 126740961972.png - (13.85KB , 800x600 , 17.png )

>>138949 >>138959

I take Jez, and the two of us get the hell out of here. There's nobody in the hall, but I feel like we're being watched as we leave.

We get out to the curb with no incidents. That's a relief. For a minute I thought we might be in some trouble. I guess now we have to head to my next contact as soon as Larry gets here. He's over...

"Boss? Um, we've got some company coming." Jez says in a squeaky voice.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/02/28(Sun)18:14 No. 140318 ID: 9e9b47
File 126740965529.png - (17.97KB , 800x600 , 18.png )

>>140317

Son of a bitch. I should learn to not open my big mouth.

open your big mouth
TO PLAY THE SONG OF YOUR PEOPLE

>>140318
Perhaps now would be a good time to put your hand on your weapon and back away slowly. Just look at them as if you have no idea what they're doing here.

>>140318
They're as surprised as you are. Now is the time for Sleuth diplomacy, by which I mean pull out your gun and riddle them with bullets.

>>140441
Only if they attack!

>>140442
Then we would be surrendering initiative to them. We know they're there to kill us, we should be the ones killing them before they get the chance to off us. And we know they came here specifically to kill us.

Put your hand in your pocket on the gun. Wait for them to move first.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/03/07(Sun)23:42 No. 143661 ID: 9e9b47
File 126803416213.png - (15.37KB , 800x600 , 34.png )

I put my hand over my gun, but keep it in my pocket for now. They don't seem to hear the sound of the hammer cocking back.

The two guys in the front talk in whispers. The big guy in the back stands still as a statue, staring straight ahead. Zombie. Fuck. I push Jez behind me.

Finally, the guy with the huge nose points at me. "You! Doobie! What are you doing here?" He demands imperiously. "Answer me!"

"Here to see a friend. He wasn't home though."

"I live here. What's it to you?"

Tell him to keep on walkin'. Or else.

>>143663
I second this suggestion.

But stay in the area until Larry shows up. With him along we then beat them up and interogate one of them.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/03/10(Wed)17:31 No. 145218 ID: 9e9b47
File 126827108070.png - (19.35KB , 800x600 , 35.png )

>>143663 >>143664 >>143794

"Here to see a friend. He wasn't home though. What's it to you?" I ask, ashing my cigarette. It's gettin' short.

"Why you disrespectful... don't you know who we are? We'll teach you to..." The big-nosed one starts, reaching a hand into his robe.

"Brother..." Comes a pleasant and slightly musical voice. The guy with the ears walks forward. "My deepest apologies, but is this necessary at the moment? We are on a time restraint here."

The big-nosed guy looks torn, but eventually relaxes. "Yes. Fine. Doobie, if I see you again, I'm going to flay the skin from your flabby, worthless body."

>>143793

"Keep on walkin', or I'll break your nose over my knee." I respond casually. The guy glares back, but sweeps away dramatically without responding. the three enter the building, and the door closes behind them with a click.

Alright. Larry should get here soon. Should we go inside once they get here? That apartment was bad, and they wouldn't expect to get jumped there. Out here we could jump them too, but there's more a chance of people getting involved, what with it being outside and everything.

>>145218
jump them in the apartment, Unless someone comes up with a better idea.

Wait for larry and then kick their fuckin asses.

>>145218
Wait for larry, then we ambush them in the apartment.

Definitely wait for Larry, a sergal in the mix adds the element of... oh... terror.

Stall them until Larry shows up.

Say "So what's all the hurry?" or something along those lines.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/03/11(Thu)00:34 No. 145514 ID: 9e9b47
File 126829647568.png - (28.81KB , 800x600 , 36.png )

>>145354

I'm about to go and enter the building to stall those guys with some more banter, when I hear the sudden clatter of claws. Before I even have a chance to react, I'm swept up in a bone-crushing hug. "McDooble! Larry came! I'm very very happy to see you! Very very!" he barks excitedly.

As he hugs me tight, I can hear Jez giggling behind me. The only problem with this guy is how goddamn affectionate sometimes. I need to come up with a plan for when we get up to the apartment though. Knowing Larry, the guy's got his fists. That's all he tends to need though. That leaves me with my weapons, and Jez... for what help she is in a fight.

There's only three of them. Tell Larry to pin one down as soon as he sees them, level your gun to the other one... does Jez have a gun?

>>145514
Larry should be able to handle the Ogre. You take down the Malto with some well placed bullet holes and convinc the Leferran that if he wants to live then he will surrender and answear a few questions.

Larry needs to handle that zombie for srs. I'd say kill the nose guy. The other guy seemed a lot more reasonable.

Ask Larry to stop drooling on your hat.

Have Larry attack the big giant zombie. Kneecap the other two. Use your gun or your crowbar. Whatever works better.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/04/25(Sun)20:38 No. 170156 ID: f82d85
File 127225311994.png - (109.58KB , 800x600 , 37.png )

>>145719

"Larry, this is important. We're going to go upstairs and fight some guys. Now, I'm gonna shoot the small guy, but I need you to jump the big one as SOON as we get in. Ok? He's got a big square head. Remember, square? Oh, and he's undead so don't worry about pulling punches. And stop drolling on my hat dammit." I say, a with a touch of annoyance.

Larry lets me go. "Yeah yeah. I know a square. It has 4 points! Larry will attack the big thing with square head. Gotcha gotcha boss." He says, looking proudly down at me.

"Um... boss..." Jez says, shifting her feet. "Um.. maybe it would be best if..."

"I think you should stay out of the gunfight, Jez. You should stay at the doorway and watch our backs." I say, cutting to the heart of the matter.

"Thank you sir! I mean, yes. I'll watch carefully." Jez says, gratitude plain on her face.

The three of us rush upstairs, and I listen at the door for just a moment before we bust down the door and step into the room. Larry rushes right in and at the ogre, claws flashing, while I spend a moment to set up my shot.

"What? You? What is the meaning of..."

*BLAM*

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/04/25(Sun)20:41 No. 170158 ID: f82d85
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"MY EYE!" The guy with the pointy face shrieks. "MY EYE! GODS DAMN YOU, YOU FAT BUCKTOOTHED MONSTROSITY!" He bellows, hardly staying on his feet as blood pours out the mask's eye socket. Damn this dude's hardy.

Larry jumps on the ogre zombie and begins to tear into it. the thing begins to flail around, trying to get into a position to attack Larry better. I don't see the other guy anywhere.

Hmm. What now?

>>170158
Gee, I hope He doesn't catch the T-virus!

The last guy must be further in. Take em out!

Keep going, push forward. Cover the windows.

>>170158
Make the volto symmetrical. Shoot him in the head again.

Then crowbar the ogre on the back of the head a few times. Then go look for that other guy.

>>170357
I reckon Larry's got the ogre under control, and the third guy is now aware of the situation. After dropping the volto, be prepared for the third guy to show up.

In fact, be prepared right now, and continue to be prepared.

in before the third guy has already taken Jez hostage.

Keep shooting him until he goes down, then get closer and carefully try to headshot the zombie without hitting larry.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/06/07(Mon)00:17 No. 189616 ID: f82d85
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>>170176

Nah, he was inoculated when he joined the force back in the day.

>>178825 >>170211 >>170303 >>170357

First things first. I walk up to the pointy faced guy and switch my gun to my left hand to better aim for the other eye. He laughs heartily, and makes a rude gesture my way. "Heh... heheh... You think you can just get away with this? We're made men. Death is only a temporary state, and we have friends. I'll remember your face. You can go right ahead and fuck yourself, you bucktoothed piece of sh-" He starts, until my bullet cuts him off. Whatever.

Alright, help Larry or go after the other guy? I can definitely hear something in the kitchen, and Larry seems to be on equal terms with that zombie.

>>178809

"Jez!"

"Yes, Mr. McDooble?" I hear Jez call from the doorway.

"Please don't do anything stupid, whatever happens."

"Yes sir!"

>>189616
Help Larry quickly then investigate the kitchen.

>>189616
Distract the Ogre with some hot lead and then go check out the kitchen.

Don't let your guard down, there were three of them, and you may need to restrain the last one to question him.

Go after the other dude now. He's probably escaping!

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/08/03(Tue)20:43 No. 215379 ID: f82d85
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>>189620 >>189723

I fire a quick bullet at the ogre before I dash off towards the kitchen. I hear the thing roar, I'm not sure if out of anger or because of the bullet.

>>189856 >>189959

I head towards the kitchen, kick open the door, and look inside. Looks like this guy's been busy. He's started a ritual on the floor, but he hasn't finished. The rune in the center needs to be finished. I'm wary though. The kitchen is... silent. It occurs to me that I can't even hear the sounds of the fighting behind me. Magical silence. That handprint on the far wall opposite is made with fresh blood. It looks so deliberate. Strange.

Looks like I gotta make the first move. There's no sign of movement.

throw the chair at him

>>215379
Go up to the chair, if you see the guy then throw the chair at the fucker.

Throw your crowbar around the corner toward the ritual circle and wait a sec before dashing toward the chair.

Maybe rushing in's a bad idea. Do Doobies have regeration?

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/08/22(Sun)12:31 No. 221036 ID: f82d85
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>>215384 >>215445 >>215466

After a moment of consideration, I rush into the room to get the chair. Perhaps I can throw it at him and...

Unfortunately, the creature in the kitchen was ready for McDooble's charge into the room. McDooble has been slain.

GREEN!!IzZTIxBQH1 2010/08/22(Sun)12:33 No. 221041 ID: f82d85
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>>221036

Please choose your next character.

Jez or Larry is available. Or if you'd like you can try your luck with some new choices.

The one on the left is the mistress of a whorehouse. The one on the right is a warrior in battle against his ancient foe. Choose.

>>221041
Go to that whorehouse at once.

>>221041
larry

>>221041
Larry

McDooble will be up again later, what with the whole regeneration thing.

THE ONE ON THE LEFT!

Bottom right silhouette.

Whorehouse. I want to see some fine booty

The warrior guy.

The warrior guy.

Larry with a Hawaiian shirt

>>221041
Larry. He must now embark on an epic journey of vengence for his partner while combating his reemerging alcoholism as he feels he failed his partner while at the same time consoling Jez and find that their relationship might turn into something more.

Bewhorelder (on the left)

I'm gonna be different and say Jez.

>>221041
Jez

Larry.

Larry

Larry the Sergal 2010/08/27(Fri)00:32 No. 222598 ID: f82d85
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Larry the Sergal wins

Huh?

Heard bullets. No noise now.

oh shit, where was your partner? better go check on him!

You are clearly in a dark room.

Feel around the floor and walls for a trap door.

Pick up something big and made of metal and advance to where McDooble went.

Larry the Sergal 2010/08/27(Fri)22:56 No. 222824 ID: f82d85
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>>222602

Not dark, room just black!

>>222601

McDooble! McDooble! Smell Doobie blood. McDooble!

>>222606

There's a crowbar! By... McDooble! With bullets in! In the white room I see a guy! He's next to the window! This whole room smells like blood. He doesn't smell like anything.

"Stay back! I'll gun you down too! Let me leave and I'll let you live!" Says the man.

I growl. McDooble is hurt! Bad man also can't get away! Think!

McDooble can regenerate. Rip and tear that renamon!

Move to the side of the door like you're going to let him by, and when he gets to maximum closeness, pounce on him and eat his face. Alternately, if it looks like he moves to reload his gun (he takes the cirle off his gun) murder the shit out of him.

It looks like the guy's already reloading. I also think he's gonna try and get out of the window he broke. Rush him and bash the crap out of his gun hand.

Rush that guy right now and take away that thing he's holding! If there's anything at all in your hands, throw it at him.

>>222824
Throw something at him and then rush his ass and rip and fucking tear.

Larry the Sergal 2010/09/13(Mon)20:51 No. 230609 ID: f82d85
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I stop man from using gun.

Feel bad. Man on ground is screaming. He drops gun. No more problem.

Don't feel angry any more. Feel bad. :<

>>230609
Shake off blood like a wet dog and make a huge mess, that should make you feel better

Check on McDooble.