tippler 2023/01/15(Sun)18:06 No. 1053867 ID: 9ea24b
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here’s how it’s going to go gents. i have here a collection of my blorbos, aka fictional characters that im fond of. i am going to put them in a problem sleuth style doll house one at a time and they (with your suggestions) have to try and escape before i grab them by the scruff in my teeth and shake them until their poor little necks snap. you can also ask me questions

tippler 2023/01/15(Sun)18:06 No. 1053868 ID: 9ea24b
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here we have the scrimblo of the moment, general grievous from star war. the moment i laid my eyes upon him as a youth watching prequel 3 i knew he was the one. lightsabers not included.

> Examine chest (box to the right) for your multiple arms

> Look out the window at the hungry beast who will probably kill you.

Start a collection of flashlights

Cough politely to get the attention of anyone in the house.

tippler 2023/01/15(Sun)18:21 No. 1053874 ID: 9ea24b
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>look out window at hungry beast
oh god, you’re just a little guy. a little plastic sci fi man come alive a la toy story. you are going to be eaten by that dreadful monster

>examine box to the right
It’s one of those openable dollhouse chests! immense value from the toys r us indeed. inside you find a set of three keys

>start a collection of flashlights
you really want a series of cylindrical objects to hang at your waist. you think that would make you happy

>cough politely
hoooookkhahawkwkhah kaf kof hack weeze. you are a master of coughing. you hear movement behind the wall with the safe

>>1053874
Go into hallway and check the room that's behind that wall.

What if you took a bite out of the eye, just a small bite, before running down the hallway

tippler 2023/01/15(Sun)18:38 No. 1053878 ID: 9ea24b
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>bite eye
you don’t have a jaw, otherwise you’d try

>go out door
you use one of the keys on the door. who even makes keys this small for a dollhouse? toys r us you sunnuva gun you’ve done it again.

blocking your path outside the door is a giant and therefore normal sized bust of george lucas!

> Test out keys on the wall safe to see if any open it up

>>1053878
Bust the bust, the key must be inside of his brain.

>>1053881
The conceptual key. I realize this might be a confusing statement when we just had a key.

tippler 2023/01/15(Sun)19:11 No. 1053883 ID: 9ea24b
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>test keys on wall safe
the safe facade opens to reveal a picture of a handsome fish.

>bust the bust!
you have high VIGOR and are more than capable of clobbering the bust with your plastic fists. in the rubble you find your first comforting cylinder! you immediately put it on your belt.

Proceed down the hall, now having acquired cylindrical superiority

> Prick your finger and fill in the fish picture with red blood, correctly identifying it as a red herring.

>>1053883
Acquire hallway, investigate door.

tippler 2023/01/15(Sun)19:35 No. 1053887 ID: 9ea24b
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>cover the fish in blood
you don’t have any blood, sadly. on closer inspection you see that the fish’s eye holes are cut open, revealing the room beyond.

>open the room next door
well you’re headed that way anyway, no need to check who’s there beforehand. you use your last key and find a fellow scrimbly blimblo sitting in the other room.

holy shit it’s mayuri kurotsuchi from the manga bleach by kubo tite! tippler sure knows how to pick ‘em.

>>1053883
A fine start to our collection.

>>1053887
Ask who was phone.

Why is phone?

Everybody asks who is phone, but nobody asks how is phone

tippler 2023/01/15(Sun)19:52 No. 1053893 ID: 9ea24b
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>examine phone
it’s a perfectly functional mini phone, except that it’s missing batteries. technology is very advanced these days.

mayuri greets you pleasantly. he is waiting for his turn to escape from the dollhouse after you’re eaten by the monster. you look around the rest of his room and see a chest similar to your own, and a matching poster of a handsome fish.

eh, let him keep the chest for when it's his turn to go out on his own adventure.

but you're gonna take that poster of the fish.

> Try to persuade the monster to eat the Bleach character first, on the grounds that there are more interesting stories to tell with you

Ask about the fish.

>>1053893
I don't think this room is worth the time. What else was in the hallway?

>>1053893
Check comfort cylinder for battery for phone.

tippler 2023/01/15(Sun)20:22 No. 1053900 ID: 9ea24b
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>persuade monster to eat bleach character first because bleach is traaaaaaaash
i know the bleach ending upset people but i don’t think star wars had any better of a showing. you’re welcome to make your case tho, i’d love to hear it.

>take poster off wall
you ask mayuri if he knows who this handsome fish is. he replies that it’s the most famous tippler blorbo of them all, carl marks. you peel carl free and wrap him into a less comforting cylinder.

>check comfort cylinder for battery
you unscrew the bottom of your cylinder and extract its sweet power crystal.

>check hallway
there’s a staircase leading to the ground floor.

Grievous dies forty years before anything that happened in the sequels would be his problem.
Use crystal on phone.

Don't go down the steps like a boring dweeb, instead, do the cool thing and slide down the stair rail!

>you can also ask me questions

So... caught any big fish lately IRL?

>>1053900
Power phone
Order pizza to satiate monster

DESCEND

tippler 2023/01/16(Mon)06:53 No. 1053921 ID: 9ea24b
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>put crystal in phone
the phone is now functional!

>order pizza to the location
this is a great idea, the monster will be distracted when the pizza comes and you can make your escape from the dollhouse.

>slide down stair rail like a badass
you enter the kitchen. inside is…oh my god. it can’t be–

THE FUCKING EVIL WHEEL FROM WALLE!!!!!

tippler 2023/01/16(Mon)06:54 No. 1053922 ID: 9ea24b
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meanwhile…

>the sequels were not grievous’ problem he was already dead
true. the prequels had their own writing problems though. mayuri was like the one bleach character that had a full and well-developed arc, which is insane to say, so grievous is still on the chopping block first.

>catch any big fish lately?
unfortunately no, carp aren’t active during winter.

tippler 2023/01/16(Mon)07:07 No. 1053923 ID: 9ea24b
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oh yeah also i made a short visual novel about body trying to figure out where her brain came from, plugging because body is a blorbo.

https://tippler.itch.io/post-mortem

Eat body.
What is Otto attached to? Can you steer the dollhouse?

>>1053921
Tell Auto "this sentence is false" to distract him like the inferior droid based consciousness he is. Then search the kitchen for objects or use.

>>1053926
> Tippler, Eat body

> Grievous, Kiss the sexy evil wheel, but hope your wife GladOS isn't around to see this

What other questden blorbos do you own, whether ot be yours or someone else's characters?

In other words, your favorite questden characters.

tippler 2023/01/16(Mon)10:24 No. 1053933 ID: 9ea24b
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>tippler: eat body
numnumnumnum delicious. like a hamburger with the texture of an overripe persimmon.

>bleach
i would like to make one revision to past statements, kenpachi has a decent character arc too.

>favorite quest blorbos
it’s very simple, any of my male characters who are vaguely to very evil and vaguely to very fruity. body is the exception to the rule because body is pogged up.

ex. niccolo, silicon, normal & guy, boss

tippler 2023/01/16(Mon)10:24 No. 1053934 ID: 9ea24b
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>gg: examine droid
this wheel that’s fixed to the ceiling on some kind of chassis is a droid and therefore you don’t like him. you give him a paradox that always works on the battle droids and he starts fizzling and making sad squawking noises.

>steer the dollhouse!
you spin the wheel, which rotates the dollhouse around its y-axis. you look around the kitchen for other useful items. there’s a quaint fridge and a stove, and a door that leads to the monster’s realm.

>>1053934
Perfect. We can watch from the window for the pizza to arrive and then use the door to escape.
Check if the door is locked.

Honk Auto, open fridge.

Aim for the door once it opens.
Then push the wheel's big red button.

tippler 2023/01/16(Mon)11:56 No. 1053939 ID: 9ea24b
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>honk auto
one of his cylinders pops off and you add it to your collection with great pleasure.

>check dollhouse exit
it’s unlocked! you begin to formulate your escape plan. you turn the house until you can see the exit and wait for the pizza delivery to come. while the monster is distracted, you bolt!

grievous has successfully escaped with 3 of 4 cylinders! you are now mayuri.

Use the sharingan to find the monster's weakness, idk I didn't watch bleach.

Mayuri: Call a psychic hotline

tippler 2023/01/16(Mon)13:04 No. 1053946 ID: 9ea24b
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>activate sharingan
you have a high SHONEN MANGA stat. you can call on the power of any one shonen protagonist to come to your aid.

>call up the runner up in the tumblr sexyman tournament
you call a psychic help line for input on a manga series that is better written than yours. wow, mob psycho really is quite good! too bad tippler didn’t imprint on one of the characters like a just hatched baby bird.

>>1053946
Ask psychic hotline about secret passages in the dollhouse.

Use the power of Saitama to punch a hole through the dollhouse, and then the regular house, and then the evil organ in the monster.

It is known that all monsters have an organ that produces their evilness.

tippler 2023/01/16(Mon)16:37 No. 1053957 ID: 9ea24b
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>secret passages
the doll house isn’t quite fancy enough for that.

>call upon saitama for help
wow ok one punch man is shonen, says right there on the internet. you get one unstoppable and vaguely comedic punch, how do you use it?

>>1053957
Punch through time and escape 100 years into the future when the monster is dead or crippled by old age.

>>1053958
seconding this absolutely hilarious event because then we can see what tippler thinks the future looks like

Threaten to punch the monster's vorephilic desire so the monster lets you go.

tippler 2023/01/16(Mon)18:15 No. 1053963 ID: 9ea24b
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>punch 100 years into the future
you thrust your fist forward, shattering the fabric of reality. everything blurs, and when the walls stop spinning you find yourself still in the dollhouse because that plastic ain’t going anywhere baby.

you peek out the window and see a headstone for the monster’s grave. clearly the monster starved to death waiting for you to emerge.

mayuri has escaped! the only blorbo who’s left is auto the fucking wheel. i haven’t even seen wall-e, im a wreck.

Auto, do a little dance, but also rotate pointlessly while you do it. Perhaps your god will be lenient towards you and not consume your sweet plastic flesh

Auto's plugged into the dollhouse. Spin that thing and ollie on outta there.

Auto: The dollhouse somehow ends up outside in the future. Wield the powers of deterministic causality and roll off of the table like a wheel to escape outside while the pizza guy is at the door.

tippler 2023/01/16(Mon)19:01 No. 1053971 ID: 9ea24b
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>spin
after that terrible paradox wrecked havoc on your internal logic, you’re feeling very limp and flaccid. you give a weak little spin and the dollhouse rotates with you.

>spin faster
if you spin fast enough, maybe you’ll get the dollhouse to tip over so you can roll away!

>spin even faster
luckily you dumped all your stats into your WELL-OILED JOINTS, so it’s child’s play to increase your rotation to ludicrous angular velocity.

tippler 2023/01/16(Mon)19:01 No. 1053972 ID: 9ea24b
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i tell the pizza man that i did not order a pizza but also i feel bad that he came all the way here so i take the pizza and pay him anyway. after eating body i really don’t have much of an appetite.

unbeknownst to me, the dollhouse has fallen over and is headed for my shins at an obscene speed. i am knocked off balance and summarily defeated.

i can’t believe i only got to eat body. i suppose it’s fitting to eat mine own creations. there’s some kind of metaphor in there.

how about one last update for any lingering questions?

>>1053972
Auto: Reunite with Mayuri 100 years in the future and make out or something

tippler 2023/01/16(Mon)19:54 No. 1053976 ID: 9ea24b
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>auto and mayori: reunite in the future and make-out
wow, it's everything i could have ever asked for. thanks for reading!

How does plastic taste like hamburger to you? I think you need a doctor.