>>503982
Sounds like a plan.

>d*ng
dang? dung? ding? dong?

No! We'll never know which you mean and forever be left in ambiguous doubt! Curse you, censorship!

Rocket jump using the Astonishing & Dangerous Power.

Brom 2013/04/05(Fri)14:47 No. 504058 ID: 20ac80
File 136519846511.png - (886.46KB , 1119x741 , 21.png )

>>504027
aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAああああああああああああ

Brom 2013/04/05(Fri)14:50 No. 504059 ID: 20ac80
File 136519865704.png - (266.98KB , 900x600 , 22.png )

ow

good thing i was wearing the Blessed Cuirass of Triamond or i'd be a bromstain on the ground

oh hey john romero is here

"Hello, Brom."

"hi"

"To win the Bladesword, you must kill me, John Romero."

"do i have to kill you i really was fond of doom ii"

"Well okay we don't need to fight to the death. You just need to defeat me in any competition you care to name, and if I win I will kill and eat you."

"can it be a having a body competition"

"No."
"okay"
"And don't be shitty."
"sorry john romero"

inb4 the oldest game

Rock Paper Scissors?

Monopoly.

>>504064

I change my vote to Diplomacy. Pick Turkey.

Challenge him to competitive dungeon crawl stone soup. You each get to roll one character and play till YASD or victory. Highest score wins.

>>504059
staring contest! easy win, you already draw your eyelids perpetually open.
masturbation contest! beat him with experience! also he obviously doesn't have a penis.
hide and seek, just take the bladesword while he's hiding.

Brom 2013/04/06(Sat)00:54 No. 504149 ID: 20ac80
File 136523488874.png - (239.04KB , 800x600 , 23.png )

>>504065
john romero wipes the fucking floor with me

"Okay so do you want to be, like, fried or boiled or what?"

>>504149
We're out of options.

It's time to put on the bracelet.

>>504149

We're out of options.

It's time to bring out the soy sauce.

>>504149
we're out of options.

it's time to bring out the sandwich.

>>504149
Point out a minute mistake he maid during turn 1. Complain that he's cheating. Make angry remarks about the original edition being better, then flip the table over.

>>504203
Yes. The end of the game is clearly the best time to complain about flaws in the initial conditions.

>>504203
Guys, the game is Diplomacy. Cheating is explicitly legal if you get away with it.

>>504331
Ah. Like the rule in monopoly that says technically you don't have to pay rent if the property owner doesn't ask you for it in time (and that will get you brutally murdered by friends and family if you try to play it).

Brom 2013/04/07(Sun)00:33 No. 504352 ID: 20ac80
File 136531998296.png - (123.84KB , 800x600 , 24.png )

i put on the bracelet & turn into a bugbear

amazing! just like the one-eyed gypsy lady said

"Whoa." says john romero. "Unfair. You totally lost. Take that off, I can't eat bugbear."

>>504352
Maul him. Also say no.

bug him. then bear him.

Beat him with your bear hands!

Brom 2013/04/07(Sun)02:11 No. 504361 ID: 20ac80
File 136532590516.png - (485.07KB , 1000x670 , 25.png )

i devour john romero. he tastes like mullet and failed ambition

the Eternal Bladesword reveals itself to me in a thrillant flash of divine light

get it and go home.

>>504361
Oh no, how will we take the sword with NO THUMBS?!?!?!?

Oh right, take off the bracelet first. Wait, was John Romero kosher?

Claim the sword as your own while (badly) trying to recreate the music and sound effects that play when you claim the master sword in the ocarina of time.

Pull the sword from the table! Claim your destiny as KING OF DEATHSKULL MOUNTAIN!

Brom 2013/04/08(Mon)12:09 No. 504597 ID: 4b1b03
File 136544816543.png - (549.79KB , 1000x545 , 26.png )

i pull off the bracelet and take the sword
the walls crumble away & reveal the spined, slobbering horde of DeathSkull Mtn, howling their dire worship on stripped & raw vocal cords

this is cool and all guys but i need to get this to bromwife
also i think i need to pick up some milk on the way home for pancakes tomorrow

Cool. We're done here. Take the shortcut and jump off death mountain. It only costs like half a heart or something.

>>504597
Order your horde to get milk for you. Then take the train home and have to stand because it's full.

Hey, a sword and a horde! Two gifts for the price of one! I'm sure Bromwife can think of all sorts of uses for these guys.

get a mook who can cook, a mook who can clean, a mook who can shop and a few mooks who can work well-paying jobs. there, you're set for life. you're welcome.

Brom 2013/04/10(Wed)01:08 No. 504941 ID: 6c20b7
File 136558130450.png - (203.00KB , 551x800 , 27.png )

"okay can any of you guys do housekeeping"

"YES LORD RACK & RUIN CRUSH & DESTROY"

"no i mean like domestically cook or like clean or something"

"YES LORD YES COOK MAN FLESH POUND DESPOIL"

"ummm ok uh what about just
i don't know can you like pick up groceries"

"YES LORD GNASH GORE DESTROY & REND & CONQUER"

"no i
jeez
are you guys even listening to me"

Send them to fight a land war in Asia. That'll get 'em off your hands.

>>504941
Ask them if they could handle your wife.

Look, just keep asking and every time you get an answer like that tell 'em to pair off and fight to the death.

Hopefully you should get someone more domestic soon.

tell them to fetch you a bunch of maids. an ugly bunch of maids.

Just bring your minions home to the bromwife. I'm sure she'll have them broken in, listening to her, and doing what you actually want them to in no time flat.

Brom 2013/04/11(Thu)00:09 No. 505197 ID: 6c20b7
File 136566417605.png - (153.01KB , 1000x456 , 28.png )

"okay well can any of you guys handle bromwife"

the army of DeathSkull mountain turns tail and flees, as one

"i thought not"

>>505197
Yep. I think we'd best be going, and get that sword to your wife.

Brom 2013/04/11(Thu)00:40 No. 505199 ID: 6c20b7
File 136566603588.png - (505.92KB , 800x532 , 29.png )

i return to house Brom w/ the sword

Brom 2013/04/11(Thu)00:40 No. 505200 ID: 6c20b7
File 136566603872.png - (419.81KB , 900x510 , 30.png )

"OK BROM I GUESS THIS IS GOOD ENOUGH THAT I WON'T EAT ALL THE BROMLETS
BUT IM HUNGRY SO GO MAKE FUCKING DINNER OR IM GOING TO LAY EGGS IN YOUR FFFFFUCKING EYE SOCKETS OK"
"ok"
"ALSO"
"what"
"OUR ANNIVERSARY IS ACTUALLY TOMORROW AND I EXPECT ANOTHER GIFT THEN
APRIL FUCKING FOOLS"

Welp, better clean out yer eye sockets for the new kids.

10/10 would read a sequel to.

I wish we bedded them.

Yesss. We took the ultimate cheating sequence breaking route. Best end.