!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)10:39 No. 52978 ID: 5b76f8
File 125415958763.png - (28.92KB , 800x600 , elfdistress_02.png )

Oh, they have someone who can help Silfas.

Wait, how can a dog know medicine?

ACTUALLY, THAT IS NOT A DOG AT ALL, IS IT?

!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)10:40 No. 52979 ID: 5b76f8
File 125415964662.png - (67.85KB , 800x600 , elfdistress_03.png )

HELP

>>52979
I do not know what is happening.

JOANDVENTURE MAXIMUM, EPISODE 1 Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)10:43 No. 52981 ID: 5b76f8
File 125415979675.png - (35.03KB , 800x600 , 01-01.png )

You feel refreshed. The sight of elf blood sure does wonders!

What ever shall you do next, JOAN?

>>52981
Kill yourself.

>>52981

Let's go crusin' around with the top down.

>>52981
Well, what's going on?
ADVENTURE?
Barbecue?
Massacre?
Orgy?

>>52986
Probably all of the above at once.

Go find a burger joint.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)10:56 No. 52989 ID: 5b76f8
File 125416055921.png - (39.34KB , 800x600 , 01-02.png )

>>52986
There's no reason those can't be included in ADVENTURE.
>>52988
You think the last burger joint within a thousand lightyears was in the crater before your mom caused said crater to appear.

You did have some objectives before this little episode. Going to the BAR, for example.

>>52989
...Transcribing a bad accent.
Right.

EXPLORE darkened AREA.

On the map, I mean.

>>52989

Very pointedly go to DIFFERENT BAR, snub BAR.

>>52989
FUCK YES GO TO THE BAR.

>>52989
GO TO THE BAR

We're on a quest for 3B

We need to go the Bar first to acquire the first B

Examine FINANCIAL STATUS.

Consider expedition to find TREASURE to fuel UNHEALTHY BINGE DRINKING.

Search area for MAPS, CLUES, and HELPFUL NPCs.

Head in direction of BAR.

>>52989
Go to that bar already.
They got beer.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)11:03 No. 52998 ID: 5b76f8
File 125416099874.png - (66.06KB , 920x600 , 01-03.png )

>>52992
But there is only one BAR!

To the bar!

WALK TO BAR.

Well John it's not nice to waste food... Potentially finish the meal?

>>53002
Yes, bring Elf Corpse along as a snack. It'll take a while to walk to the bar.

Good point. Butcher the elf meats for later consumption.

Also, uh, head for whichever one of those things on the map is a bar. I assume the cyrillic letters? I can't read chernobylese.

Where did that map come from?

HEAD TO THE BAR!

>>53005
John made that! John's a very skilled Sergal

БАР

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)11:26 No. 53008 ID: 5b76f8
File 12541623626.png - (127.65KB , 800x600 , 01-04.png )

Well, the number of people in your party who eat elves and who can (and would) carry corpses is quite limited. You decide it's better for you to just go to the BAR. Maybe they have some REAL food there.
You think you remember John packing money or something to trade. Maybe.

And they're just elves anyway. Let them rot.

>>53008

Yeah Elves are jerks and they smell like jerks.

Let's get wasted.

>>53008
Walk to БАР fabulously.

>>52998
GET OUT OF HERE, STALKER

Leave 'em be, head to the Bar.

>>53008
Yes of course.
Give us some kind of status report.
You did bring your dorfen dagger right?
Also ask John why she's suddenly gray.

Don't eat that round thing. It's bad for you. Makes crazy voices in your head.

We can trade for what we need when we get there. If all else fails we can just sell them naga or whatever her name was.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)11:37 No. 53016 ID: 5b76f8
File 125416302464.png - (43.72KB , 800x600 , 01-05.png )

>>53009
Yeah, fuck elfs.

You mean, seriously, elfs are shit! They're pathetic scum that can't build fortresses and they're always prancing around and singing shitty songs like it was cool.

You know what really pisses you off? Motherfucking elfs, man.

FUCK, IF YOU SEE ONE MORE MOTHERFUCKING ELF YOU SWEAR TO ODIN YOU'LL RIP THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S SPINE OUT RIGHT THROUGH ITS FILTHY HIPPY FAG ASS.

YEAH. HOW'S THAT, MOTHERFUCKING ELF BITCH SCUM. WHY, YOU OUGHTA GRAHRHRHARG---

>>53016

Let feed John some cutebolds while we're at it

>>53016
Elves love Communism too.

Joan, I don't think you get to criticize people for being wimpy.

>>53016
Good girl, that'll make your viking/dorf ancestors proud.

>>53016
Joan: Look at the same elves you were looking at previously.

>>53016

How about dwarves?

Suggestion 2009/09/28(Mon)11:52 No. 53034 ID: b94893
File 125416397125.jpg - (16.43KB , 320x240 , facepalm wayne.jpg )

>>53031
Joan is part dwarf.

Totallynotsamefag!!V1AJL5LzHl 2009/09/28(Mon)11:53 No. 53035 ID: ccb486
File 125416399623.gif - (278.11KB , 480x360 , oh god yes.gif )

oh hey, a new quest! Let's just see-

>>53034

Well that doesn't really answer how she feels about dwarves at all does it?

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)12:06 No. 53050 ID: 5b76f8
File 125416478822.png - (70.54KB , 800x600 , 01-06.png )

>>53021
Fucking treehugging fags. If you'd been born in an elf family, you would've killed yourself!

If you had your mother's side's strenght, you'd go and kill all the elfs right away.

We need to get to БАР before we become Sober...

>>53050
Dance on their bodies. They deserve it.

Are you feeling alright? You don't have to belabor the point.

Continue on to your destination unless there's some reason to stay.

>>53050
Let's get back on track and head to the bar, hopefully there won't be any elves there.

БАР time!

>>53057
Well if there are there won't be any when we're done with the place!

>>53050

Why is the lady bleeding out of her ass?

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)12:18 No. 53067 ID: 5b76f8
File 12541655165.png - (48.64KB , 800x600 , 01-07.png )

>>Dance
Yeah, that fucking showed 'em!

>>53067
Hey we didn't fail our dance! We're getting better!

>>53067
I like your new cargo pants and combat boots.
I'm sure you'll be the hit in the БАР with that outfit, assuming you ever get there.

>>53070
I think we did fail the dance, hence why she's dusting herself off...

Let's uh, let's just head to the bar.

That is quite enough.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)12:39 No. 53083 ID: 5b76f8
File 125416675984.png - (96.63KB , 1200x900 , 01-08.png )

While on your way to the BAR, you hear explosions and small-arms fire from the other side of the river, roughly in and around the spot marked on John's map. John however claims there's now more smoke and sources and that the general area which contains the source(s) of the smoke has moved away from the river.

Maybe you'll get there sometime.

And maybe someone at the BAR knows about it.

Which reminds you that you cannot be very far from the BAR now.

On the way to the bar, assess INVENTORY for WEAPONS and MONEY

>>53083
Okay, let's go to the bar.

>>53083
Yeah, БАР.
Dorfen dagger and Sergal spears are unfortunately no match for firearms. You need to know what'd going on before deciding on any further steps.

Oh yeah, another thing.
Is everything alright with Naga?
She doesn't look to well.

>>53088
She's fine. She's just carrying all the supplies because she's the bitch.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)13:10 No. 53107 ID: 5b76f8
File 125416861060.png - (49.48KB , 800x600 , 01-09.png )

YOU ENCOUNTER BAR.

You remember that on your person you are carrying REVOLVER, DORFEN DAGGER and BRASS KNUCKLES.
John has packed "everything else" into Naga's pack. All you know is that it contains necessities and LAPTOP. At the very least.

Naga isn't complaining and looks fine.

STALKER with GUITAR is playing COOL SONG. It is also "not on youtube", whatever that means. What a weird thing to think about.

Why, it's the most beautiful thing in the whole wide world!

>>53107
Greet the GAS MASK GUARD. "Hail and well met."

>>53107
look guard in the eye, then shout "BLACK RAVEN BLACK RAVEN, CIRCLING ABOVE THE GRAVE." when he nods knowingly, walk right into БАР. When someone turns to you and says "Don't just stand there, i said come in", tell them "GET OUT OF HERE S.T.A.L.K.E.R."

Don't stand there, go in!

>>53107
Are those guys cool about big hairy carnivorous chicks?
Maybe John should try to look especial non threatening and stay behind you, just in case.
Enter the bar before that guy tells you to do it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LQ0Cl3wBa0 not on youtube my ass, Joan you need to not think about this harder.

>>53107
Scream "GET OUT OF HERE, STALKER" at the top of your lungs.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)13:30 No. 53123 ID: 5b76f8
File 125416980869.png - (48.32KB , 800x600 , 01-10.png )

"ПРИВЕТ У вас большая грудь. ВЫ нет запрета на это учреждение."

So he says.


>>53117
This headvoice is wrong. This headvoice is also elflike. This headvoice should go away away.

>>53123

Большая грудь? Я рип маску и подсунуть его в задницу.

Watch out! He might be communist. Better have John test him for COMMUNISM.

>>53123
you probably don't speak it, so i'll sound it out for you.

say "Ne iznasilovaniye menya!"

>>53123
Stick his gas-masked face right down your cleavage. Tell him "ya peresplu s'toboy za tree rublya." It's a common greeting, trust me on this one.

>>53123
That's a polite guy.
Follow your большая груд through the door into the БАР.

>>53123
"Thanks for the compliment on my breasts. Can we come inside?"

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)13:43 No. 53152 ID: 5b76f8
File 125417060714.png - (34.62KB , 800x600 , 01-11.png )

"Заходи, не стоять!"

OK, let's get inside.

>>53152
Make an angry face at him.

>>53152
Juggle your tits around and enter the bar.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)14:10 No. 53166 ID: 5b76f8
File 125417225176.png - (62.01KB , 800x600 , 01-12.png )

You enter the BAR inside which your adventure is TO BE CONTINUED!

Great success.

Can't wait

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)14:47 No. 53184 ID: 5b76f8
File 125417442791.png - (42.52KB , 800x600 , 01-bonus.png )

Oh yeah, bravo tango whiskey:
0 out of 1 slaves collected
0 out of 3 secrets found
1 out of 0 dances failed
100% of headvoice fail quota reached

>>53184
>0 out of 1 slaves collected
Wait a second, we have Naga. Doesn't that count?

Totallynotsamefag!!V1AJL5LzHl 2009/09/28(Mon)14:52 No. 53193 ID: ccb486
File 125417477582.jpg - (101.66KB , 726x357 , totally innocent.jpg )

>>53184

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/09/28(Mon)15:00 No. 53197 ID: 5b76f8
File 125417521850.png - (43.66KB , 800x600 , please.png )

>>53193
Can someone please ELIMINATE the ELF-SYMPATHIZER?

>>53190
I think we could have inslaved that elf woman.

Well, now we know it's possible, so we can go and do that next time.

>>53201
No she's probably dead now.
I mean they aren't dwarves, they have that -2 constitution. They basically risk dieing of blood lose everytime they have there period.

>>53197
Love you too SDF.

Suggestion 2009/09/28(Mon)16:30 No. 53250 ID: 8e18cd
File 125418060423.jpg - (68.54KB , 1000x1000 , Saynomoremylord.jpg )

>>53197

One shot is all I need.

>>53199
ALLOW AN ELF TO LIVE? WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING!

JOANDVENTURE MAXIMUM, EPISODE 2 Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/03(Sat)10:31 No. 56079 ID: 5b76f8
File 125459106426.png - (68.12KB , 800x600 , 02-01.png )

You the BAR, just as planned.

>>56079
Acquire PLOT HOOKS, DELICIOUS ALCOHOL, and INFORMATION ABOUT SHADED AREA.

>>56079
Be on the lookout for SHADY INDIVIDUALS.

>>56079

Go down.

Acquire one of Bs

>>56079
Can you read the sign?
Look around in the bar, and ask someone about the gun fire you heard earlier.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/03(Sat)11:02 No. 56090 ID: 5b76f8
File 125459296332.png - (61.18KB , 800x600 , 02-02.png )

You have no idea what the sign says.

And the BAR is actually quite small and there are only a few people here. It's hard to say which one of these few shady individuals would have answers - if any of them do.

>>56090
That shady individual in the back seems to be full of information and also trustworthy.
Do we have any money or anything to sell? We need some beer and maybe equipment.

>>56090

That bartender is wearing pink. Obviously a good source of information

>>56090
Tell John to speak with the Lawyer via sign language. Meanwhile, rip down the poster and look what's behind it.

>>56090
Talk to the man in the back there. His information may be of use to you, stalker.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/03(Sat)11:27 No. 56101 ID: 5b76f8
File 125459445492.png - (46.71KB , 800x600 , 02-03.png )

John has a little something to trade.

>>56095
who are we stalking?

>>56101
Awesome.
Ask the barkeep if he got any equipment to sell.

>>56101
So that's where all my monopoly money went!

>>56102

If you didn't catch it yet... it's a reference to a certain game.

>>56101

Where the hell did John get so much money?

Regardless - get AK47/AK74s.

Or SVGs

And Vodka

And Beer.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/03(Sat)11:41 No. 56106 ID: 5b76f8
File 125459529531.png - (28.82KB , 800x600 , 02-04.png )

"Good information for only 70.000.000 rubles - or two thousand lollars! It may be of use to you!"

So says the other shady guy in the back, before you can even approach the back of the BAR.

You seem to have about three thousand lollars. It's unlikely you can buy both information and "equipment".
But which one is more important?

>>56106
Kidnap him and force the information out of him.

>>56106

Quicksave, get the information then reload. Money back guaranteed.

>>56106
Equipment, you can get more money if you're properly equipped.
Ask around in the bar if there's a way to make some money.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/03(Sat)11:56 No. 56110 ID: 5b76f8
File 125459618977.png - (52.27KB , 800x600 , 02-05.png )

"Damnit, if only someone would help!"

Guns. You can shoot the information out of him. D'uh.

>>56110
PLOT HOOK DETECTED.
Acquire BEER to go with it.

>>56110
turn around really fast and knock the drink out of the persons hand.

>>56110

That Stalker looks kind of...

Odd. Look at him/her

>>56109
This.

That guy usually has useless information.

>>56110
He looks kinda sad and scared.
Tell John to talk to him, her fluffiness might calm him down
Check out what the barkeep has to sell.

>>56090
Talk to Heavy Weapons Bartender, inquire about mode of transportation.

Preferably one with something spikey attached to the front of it.

That bird... beware of the Dan Kim.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/03(Sat)12:38 No. 56119 ID: 5b76f8
File 125459872738.png - (42.95KB , 800x600 , 02-06.png )

You leave John to terrorize STALKER while you go and hear barkeeper's exciting offer of "little baby gun, nine little baby magazines and bag of little baby ammo for 70.000.000 rubles or 2.000 lollars".

He also tells you that walking is the only transportation since little men stole their cart a long time ago.

>>56119
Can you or John actually handle this Beauty? If so, buy the hell out of it.
Inquire further about the cart situation.

>>56119

WE MUST GET LITTLE CART BACK

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/03(Sat)13:02 No. 56122 ID: 5b76f8
File 125460017332.png - (56.93KB , 800x600 , 02-07.png )

"Blah blah little men steal cart, paint wrong color, ruined forever, etc."

Or something like that.

You can somehow use the weapon, you discover, although the weapon and the trigger are quite heavy and require great effort from your part to OPERATE.

You think it's the elf blood that did the trick. You should definitely bleed more elfs.

>>56122

LITTLE MEN?

ELVES ARE TEENY MEN.

WE MUST RECLAIM CART FROM ELVES

>>56122
Get it then, you can use it to make more elfs bleed. Ask barkeep about nearest elf nest.
Check out if John managed to calm the Stalker down.

>>56122
I almost forgot, get some beer for yourself and John.

>>56126
I bet the elves painted it GRRRRRREEEEEEEEENNNNN.

>>56134

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/03(Sat)13:46 No. 56138 ID: 5b76f8
File 125460280157.png - (50.98KB , 800x600 , 02-08.png )

John has pacified the STALKER who is now drinking happily without his mask causing prohibitive effects.

You PURCHASE the EXCITING OFFER for 2.000 lollars and tell Naga to hold onto it until further notice.

There are no elf nests nearby, nor any other form of elf presence.
Barkeeper is about to tell you more about how interested STALKERs are in the ZONE to the SOUTH-EAST, when you notice John being antagonized by the other shady individual in the back.

>>56138

THIS BIRD IS NOT ONE OF OURS!

Getting antagonized by something in a Quest? Clearly this means you have to befriend it and possible team up.
Lay your arms around John to keep her from attacking the bird until you find out more about it's rich and interesting back story.
Ask it what it's doing in this bar.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/03(Sat)14:06 No. 56146 ID: 5b76f8
File 125460398888.png - (45.08KB , 800x600 , 02-09.png )

You ask the b---

>>56146

AH! A MENTAL ATTACK!

KILL IT! KILL IT, JOHN!

>>56146
Ask John to translate what the bird says.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/03(Sat)14:20 No. 56151 ID: 5b76f8
File 125460483590.png - (86.38KB , 1200x900 , 02-10.png )

JOHN DOESN'T SPEAKJXA KJXA KJXA KJXA KJXA KJXA KJXA KJXA KJXA

>>56151
Yeah fuck it.
Unleash Johns anger on that stupid bird. Diplomacy only goes this far.

>>56151
SHIT, A FOURTH WALL JUMPER!

>>56151

I think it's trying to tell us something

>>56168
Tricky fucking birds, man.

>>56168

BAD JOHN, Don't go there. That's a silly place.

>>56168
JOAN: But finger in John's tailhole.

DO IT.

Uhh...
Joan, ask John what the fuck she's doing.

Well, there's only one solution to this problem.

Buy booze, drink until hammered.

>>56182

What?

>>56182
UPDATED! GO!

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/03(Sat)15:26 No. 56196 ID: 5b76f8
File 125460881689.png - (46.38KB , 800x600 , actually.png )

>>56191

>>56196
Is this some kind of esoteric trolling?

>>56196
Pull your pants back up, boy. You can't know what lurks under someone's clothes in a Reaver quest.

>>56198
I think SDF just wants moar Romanticar. Can you really blame him for that?

Housewives need their soap operas.

Suggestion 2009/10/03(Sat)15:59 No. 56226 ID: 43d730
File 12546107584.jpg - (32.87KB , 320x240 , 27VFCSEUEW2U54FNI2DDFEZNMO2AVBXB.jpg )

>>56211
I just had a mental image of a frumpy sergal.
In a bathrobe.

>>56226

In b4 someone drawfags that. With John's markings.

Oh come on, don't be a faggo- oh wait.

>>56196
You... you... Double-Faggot!

Suggestion 2009/10/03(Sat)17:54 No. 56383 ID: 8e18cd
File 125461766343.jpg - (131.09KB , 1000x1000 , Fat John.jpg )

>>56226

Here it.

See, John, how low you fell?

Suggestion 2009/10/03(Sat)18:17 No. 56410 ID: 7eda8b
File 125461904095.png - (216.80KB , 600x600 , upgraded_soap.png )

>>56383
you forgot parts

>>56413

It's a remote, Freud.

>>56415
Got habeeted.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/06(Tue)08:21 No. 58628 ID: 5b76f8
File 125484251526.png - (51.97KB , 800x600 , 02-12.png )

John cannot locate pigeon!

>>58628
LOOK HARDER.

>>58628
Joan: Realize how goddamn big John actually is. Then hug her.

Try using your tongue. I hear pidgeons like tongue. Delicious.

Ignore the nonsense bird for now, let's look around, or we could go to THE ZONE

See if you can make your tongue can mimic a worm.

>>58628
Joan are you pretending that you do not like furry snout in your tats?

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/06(Tue)09:37 No. 58642 ID: 5b76f8
File 125484707927.png - (52.31KB , 800x600 , 02-13.png )

You fail to mimic a tongue with your worm, but looking around is notably more successful.

There seems to be a party up the mountain.

And by "a party" you mean "intense fighting".

>>58642
Ask JOHN if he knows how to operate WEPON.

Purchase ITTY BITTY TINY BABY GUN from MAN IN FAGGOT-COLORED APRON.

>>58642
Let us investigate further

wait, can we buy some binoculars first?

We'll need party favors first. And Jenga. It just isnt a party without Jenga.

>>58642
>implying Intense Fighting = / = Party

i'm sorry what bass ackwards dimension do you live in

>>58642
The classic way is to hang around close to the fighting and hit some easy targets for loot.
Get the baby gun and go there, but be careful. Let Naga take point.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/06(Tue)10:29 No. 58657 ID: 5b76f8
File 125485014796.png - (70.34KB , 800x600 , 02-14.png )

You were thrown out of the BAR for breaking the rules, so you get going towards the party, without binoculars.

You have reached the bridge without problems. And binoculars.

Naga is carrying your AMMUNITION so you can somehow manage to carry - and probably even use - the loaded WEAPON. Without binoculars.

>>58657
>Without binoculars.
Dat gun got a scope, right?
Can John use the gun if you're to weak?
Send Naga walking over the bridge but keep some ammo with you. Find a good sniping spot and cover her advance, John can be your spotter.

>>58657
JOAN: USE NAGA AS BINOCULARS.

>>58658
Do you trust john with The WEPON? I mean John has poking stick. Also we NEED A HAT!

Continue forward, hugging the side of the bridge so you can use the risers as cover.

>>58657

Statement: You are severely lacking explosives. Please rectify, as you are likely to be eaten by a Grue.

Should a Grue fail, then a Super Mutant Dwarf.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/06(Tue)11:35 No. 58681 ID: 5b76f8
File 125485415059.png - (50.81KB , 800x600 , 02-15.png )

Despite your best TACTICAL MANEUVERING, nothing happens while you cross the bridge.

SOUNDS indicate that an intense party is in full effect on the mountain. You fail to detect any partying within the city at this time, over.

>>58681
TACTICAL MANEUVER into city!

>>58681
You're sure Naga's alright?
Find some tall building near the party and survey the situation from a high window.

Rapid advance into the city.

Find a tall building and set up an observing position.

Looks like Naga isn't doing so hot. I think we need an additional slave. We should endeavor to procure one posthaste.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/06(Tue)12:12 No. 58696 ID: 5b76f8
File 125485637228.png - (87.69KB , 800x600 , 02-16.png )

But you ARE in the city already!

And almost all of these buildings appear to be very unsafe. And full of stairs. And no elevators.

Without binoculars.

>>58696
Search stairs for binoculars. Duh. God, do we have to tell you everything?

>>58696
>Without binoculars.
The scope, the goddamn scope.
Railroad towards the mountain then. Send John to stalk the way you're going like the terrifying beast of prey she is. Sergals are decent night hunters I presume?

>>58696
USE THE SCOPE AS BINOCULARS.

Use the scope, geez

That would be a unocular, duh.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/06(Tue)13:04 No. 58734 ID: 5b76f8
File 125485947447.png - (50.43KB , 800x600 , 02-17.png )

You find an acceptable forward observation position, without having to challenge unsafe buildings full of stairs, without binoculars.

What a party, indeed.

Kickass! Start firing immediatly!

Let's give it a bit and see how it plays out, unfortunately there's no way to tell any details at this range is there?

>>58734
Is that artillery?
Move closer and try to find a straggler for John to capture. This way you might find out what's going on.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/06(Tue)13:20 No. 58750 ID: 5b76f8
File 125486042646.png - (51.11KB , 800x600 , 02-18.png )

The party only grows bigger!

>>58750
That's a lot of Dakka!

Check where you are currently on the MAP.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/06(Tue)13:33 No. 58762 ID: 5b76f8
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You are currently on the map.

Call mom and let her know you're going to the party.

Parents like it when you let them know about such things.

>>58762
Close in and tell John to get some prisoner already. They need to be still able to talk though.

Priorities, people! Loot yourselves some party favors!

>>58770
But Mom LOVES To party. Especially with zombies

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/06(Tue)14:12 No. 58817 ID: 5b76f8
File 125486353173.png - (43.52KB , 800x600 , 02-20.png )

>>prisoner
>>still able to talk
John doesn't undestand any of this nonsense!

>>58817
Torture-toy.
That lasts longer than normal.
Go get one, please.

You are hardly wearing the right outfit to party, missy. I mean, that shirt? With that hoody? One of them has got to go. and those shoes totally don't match your pants. For shame.

While we're out here, lets use the SCOPE to check out the DATA MISSING part of the map.

>>58817
You can't tell me you don't know how to keep them alive for some time. Just scare and rough em up a little bit, Joan needs some intel. Maybe she'll allow you to play with them afterwards?

>>58817

...Capture a slave?

And then... Well, question him. Take a limb for every answer he lies about.

Last limb is, of course, his head. Make sure he's an elf, or edible.

I don't know what to do if you find a female, John my get frisky.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/06(Tue)14:53 No. 58891 ID: 5b76f8
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If it's an elf you want, there's one right the---

>>58891
Find one that isn't getting shot at!

Yeah, serious.
We need one that's still in one piece and alone if possible.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/06(Tue)15:30 No. 58947 ID: 5b76f8
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John politely suggests you go find your own goddamn intact elfs.

>>58947
A war of Scotsman and Elves? What a strange place this is.

Very well then. Joan, use Monoculars to locate intact elf. Shoot it in the leg so it can't get away, then retrieve it.

>>58947
Are you bad ass enough to take on the Scotsman instead?
Or maybe you could approach him, Sergals and Scots are quite similar and you might like each other. Both of you hate elves, that's already a good basis for camaraderie.

>>58960

DO IT, FAGGOT

So its Communists vs Elves vs Scottsmen?

Goddamn Scotsmen and their robo super-lolis.

>>58947
Scottsmen + Half dwarf + Sergal + Naga slave = Most amazing party ever.

Go recruit some Scotts

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/06(Tue)16:20 No. 59018 ID: 5b76f8
File 12548712495.png - (76.82KB , 800x600 , 02-23.png )

"ATLEAST CARRE YOR OWN BLODDY GON, LAD."

'Take' him 'on'? 'Approach' him? 'Recruit' him? Might 'like eachother'? B-but you haven't even been properly introduced yet!

You have a feeling this is going TO BE CONTINUED!

>TO BE CONTINUED
Nooooo!

>>59018

Looks like John's got some competition for Joan's heart.

Interesting.

Oh hells yeah.

Swoon. You could be like the girl who's clinging to Conan's leg while he kills a bunch of dudes.

Sir Double-Faggot!!EuZJL3Mwtj 2009/10/06(Tue)16:44 No. 59039 ID: 5b76f8
File 12548726529.png - (43.08KB , 800x600 , 02-bonus.png )

1 out of 4 rules broken (ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: "WORSEN" THE PIGEON)
1 out of 0 pointless TACTICAL MANEUVERS completed
0 out of 0 dances failed
100% of headvoice fail quota met

WHO'S FUCKING FINGER IS THAT?!

>>59042
mine.

>>59048
Stop harassin mai waifu!

>>59039
Pretty soon she's just gonna start falling over randomly.

>>59060
She already does, whenever she dances or sings or fights or does... anything.

>>59042
It's John obvious, don't you guys see the claw?
I think she fell in looking for the pigeon.