Check for traps first.

??? 2009/10/12(Mon)18:10 No. 63654 ID: b1e366
File 125539624352.png - (20.99KB , 1024x768 , 2.png )

There are no traps immediately apparent. They very likely prefer to lure victims in to properly torment them.

Quickly open the doors and rush inside.

Nothing could go wrong! Rush inside.

What's your name, buddy?

??? 2009/10/12(Mon)18:17 No. 63661 ID: b1e366
File 125539664989.png - (9.43KB , 1024x768 , 3.png )

You pull open the iron doors and charge inside, sword at the ready for any danger!

Elf: Step on a pressure plate and die, your blood becoming a sacrifice to the Dark Gods for the goblins.

??? 2009/10/12(Mon)18:38 No. 63678 ID: b1e366
File 125539791120.png - (15.26KB , 1024x768 , 4.png )

HAHA! Nothing happened... That was anti-climactic, but then not dying was always a goal anyway.

>>63678
Proceed.

You're in severe danger of being a bait-and-switch character! Get out of there!

Got a torch or other light source? This could get dark.

??? 2009/10/12(Mon)18:52 No. 63690 ID: b1e366
File 125539871721.png - (12.63KB , 1024x768 , 5.png )

The tunnel continues on, curving to the left and there is a door, leading off elsewhere to the right.

>>63683
That's ridiculous. You aren't a character in a play. You don't have some predetermined lot in life to end up as some kind of framing device for someone else's tale. Absurd!

>>63678
Careful! It looks like a demon has possessed you and is trying to commit seppuku<i>!</i>

enter door

>>63690
If you're so sure of that, then what's your name, ELF?
Everyone knows nameless characters are just set-ups until they die.

Think of sad things. Collect Elf Tears.

Summon the Weasel King.

>>63690
Indeed. Let us press on through the doorway.

Zepave Cilithiliri 2009/10/12(Mon)19:19 No. 63714 ID: b1e366
File 125540039164.gif - (9.52KB , 1024x768 , 6.gif )

You should very well know your own name. You are Zepave Cilithiliri, second son of Imere Cilithiliri, keeper of the chalice of Afedi-

*Skrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkk*

Dear gods, what was that?

Defend yourself, you loser.

>>63714
Zepave Cilithiliri?
Now you've solidified your fate, it'll just make your death all the more pathetic when we're screaming "Don't die on me, Zepave! Don't die on me, damnit! Nooooooo!"

Good job, bro.

I think you guys aren't getting the fact that [i]we are[i] Zepave.

Look around.

Zepave Cilithiliri 2009/10/12(Mon)19:57 No. 63736 ID: b1e366
File 125540264283.gif - (77.91KB , 1024x768 , 7.gif )

You creep toward the source of the sound and find...

(animated)

Kick it in the midsection, potentially toppling the kobold-tower.

>>63738
Fuck that, he's an elf.
Run away like a pansy, that thing's scary!

>>63736
>>63739
IT'S A MONSTER! RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE!

>>63736
It's Mecha-Shiva! You're screwed, man.

Zepave Cilithiliri 2009/10/12(Mon)20:23 No. 63747 ID: b1e366
File 125540423013.png - (18.10KB , 1024x768 , 8.png )

>>63738
This is no time for cowardice! Into the fray! The beast has no chance against you're superior elven abilities anyway.

>>63747
Yes! Show it you're superior elven combat techniques! Show it your not afraid of anything! Knock they're evil thing their down! There going to regret messing with you and your superior elven grammer!

Keep kicking. We'll tell you when to stop.

Unless you feel that using your sword is necessary. That's cool too.

>>63747
inb4 the "monster" topples over and is revealed to be three kobolds in a silly costume

>>63750
I see what you did there.
And I don't like it.
I DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT, SIR.

Zepave 2009/10/13(Tue)17:52 No. 64316 ID: b1e366
File 125548151824.png - (14.13KB , 1024x768 , 9.png )

>the "monster" topples over and is revealed to be three kobolds in a silly costume.

Ah! Such an infantile trick will never fool you... you... ah... oh...

Zepave 2009/10/13(Tue)17:54 No. 64319 ID: b1e366
File 125548168729.gif - (25.14KB , 1024x768 , 10.gif )

SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

>>64316
SECRET ELVEN TECHNIQUE: STAB THE FUCK OUT OF IT AND THEN LEG IT

kick the one on the bottom

Yes kick his knee and konk the top on with the hilt of your sword.

We came here to demolish wickedness, not play shadow charades with dirtdiggers!

>>64323
>>64340
>Animated

Ahh uh well then...

I'll bet those feelers are sensitive as hell. Give him a good buzzcut, then a kick to his soft underside.

Stab at once

Zepave 2009/10/14(Wed)15:55 No. 64827 ID: b1e366
File 125556090317.png - (22.73KB , 1024x768 , 11.png )

This isn't three kobolds! This isn't three kobolds at all! But by the gods, you will put an end to this monstro- Oh damn...

[CRITICAL MISS]

>>64827
Well, attempt to not-die.

>>64827
I'm surprised the Critical Miss didn't end up with Zepave falling on his face or dropping the sword. Must be an anti-fumble feat he's got.

Tumble away and ready yourself for another strike!

>>64827
I suggest a quick backslash to the Achilles tendon (or closest monstrous equivalent.)

Fart really really strongly!

It'll either scare off the creature or propel you forward enough to that you're out of it's range!

>>64827
If you have a god, praying seems like a good option. Then, work on not-dying so you can stick it to said god.

Zepave 2009/10/14(Wed)18:25 No. 64871 ID: b1e366
File 125556992974.gif - (17.48KB , 1024x768 , 12.gif )

That all sounds well and good, but you don't even have time to regain your footing before...

(animated)

>>64871
Oh well.

Zepave 2009/10/14(Wed)18:28 No. 64874 ID: b1e366
File 125557010468.png - (55.66KB , 1024x768 , 13.png )

Oh what an unfortunate end. Like so many adventurers before you, your bones litter the dungeon floor, picked clean by vermin.

BAD END

(Using dice for combat may have been a bad idea.)

>>64874
Load Autosave?

>>64874
I think the problem here may have been that a dice roll led *directly* to death.

>>64874
Elf skeletons suck.
It's like being a Twig Golem.

Gnoll!1u4YNSY0gk 2009/10/14(Wed)19:19 No. 64883 ID: b1e366
File 125557314536.png - (17.00KB , 800x600 , Gnollsez.png )

>>64879
The monster rolled a critical hit right after he rolled a critical miss. It's a sign that the gods want him dead.

>>64879
Agreement here, even a CoC campaign is unlikely to kill you 'that' fast.

A couple of botches, yes that should kill us, but we didn't even loose a limb, take a scratch, or rip our shirt. We just went from full to dead in 3 tentacles flat (or sharp as seems to be the case here.)

>>64871
>>64874
OH! Right.

Don't die on me, Zepave!
Don't you dare die on me, damnit!
Zepave!

Nooooooo!

>>64874
Awaken as one of the living dead. You have unfinished business.

Play a druid next time, n00b.

>>65084
Dorf Quest 2: It's Elf Time

RISE FROM YOUR GWAVE.

>>65104
WISE FWOM YOUW GWAVE

Zepave 2009/10/15(Thu)17:22 No. 65183 ID: b1e366
File 125565251842.png - (20.60KB , 1024x768 , 14.png )

>Oh what an unfortunate end. Like so many adventurers before you, your bones litter the dungeon floor, picked clean by vermin.

But I must apologize that I can't stay to keep you company!

>>64910
>>65084
>>65104
>>65105
I'M NOT DEAD YET!

Quick! How many hit-points do you have left?!

Turn around and check if the monster is still there. Get a sidearm ready, do you have a dagger? I don't think you can swing a sword in that condition. Can you wiggle your toes?

>>65183
Assess situation, what injuries have sustained, is the monster still here or has it wandered off?

>>65183
YES YOU ARE
Elves snap in a light breeze, and you've got three gaping holes in your chest.
Lie back down and take it as much like a man as you can, wuss.

>>65183
Quick! Drink a health potion!

Lay hands on yourself!

>>65183
It's just a flesh wound! Recommending full retreat and regroup, on your mark.

>>65230
Regroup sword and monster, stat.

Zepave 2009/10/16(Fri)18:09 No. 65400 ID: b1e366
File 125574177078.png - (17.67KB , 1024x768 , 15.png )

>>65216
Ah... Thank the Gods for the one who invented these. They are truly a boon for any adventurer.

Now I just hope my lungs hurry up and grow back. My memories of breathing are fond ones...

Zepave 2009/10/17(Sat)06:15 No. 65622 ID: b1e366
File 125578533125.gif - (1.46MB , 1024x768 , 16.gif )

I feel awful, but I think I should recov...errr...

>>65622
dawwww it's smiling, maybe it wants to be frends with us, lets show traditional elven friendship and stab it.

Zepave 2009/10/17(Sat)10:16 No. 65643 ID: b1e366
File 125579977768.png - (21.55KB , 1024x768 , 17.png )

Where is that blasted sword? I was certain it was here a moment ago! Not that I have a free hand to hold it with now that this thing is set upon me!

O' cruel Fate! That I should return from the brink of death only to be struck down again moments later!

>>65643
... bite monster in face.

>>65643
... or kiss it. I dunno. Your call!

Lick his eye

Relax your anus.

Zepave HUG monster

>>65643
If you didn't pray previously, now is a great time.

Zepave 2009/10/17(Sat)10:53 No. 65658 ID: b1e366
File 125580201438.gif - (10.71KB , 1024x768 , 18.gif )

>>65651
Maybe I can crush it to dea- This is a lot softer than I expected...

(animated)

>>65658
THAT'S NOT A HORRIBLE CENTIPEDE THING
Alright, find out what she's doing on you and where the monster is.

Lick the eye.

>>65658
Sure is rape quest in here.

>>65658

"Um, hello?"

"I love you"

Zepave 2009/10/17(Sat)14:36 No. 65696 ID: b1e366
File 125581537536.png - (16.95KB , 1024x768 , 19.png )

>Uh... Hello.

Goblin: Oh hey... You're still alive. Good for you. It's not like you're worth looting anyway. None of that crap seems to be helping you very much, so why should I want it?

>I love you.

Goblin: I guess that would explain why you're so dangerously close to grabbing my ass.

>>65696
"'Dangerously close'? You mean I missed? Dammit..."

>>65696

What's your name, fair maiden

>>65696
You obviously hit your head when you fell. This is a goblin. You are an elf. Get her off you and ask who she is.

"Oh. Sorry."

Then grab one of her boobs.

Compliment her shapely figure and large breasts.

>>65707
Are you trying to imply something about female goblins being unacceptable?
She's totally cute Zepave, you should get her name and figure out what she's doing here. If she lives here, rethink the whole "wiping this place off the map" bit.

>>65696
Cough (while covering your mouth), wiggle a bit to indicate that you'd like to get up.

>>65707
Did YOU hit YOUR head? They are both clearly Goblins. Oh man, Zepave, don't tell me you've got it into your head that your some kind of Elf again, have you?

So are you just going to have gaping gut wound love here and now, or are you planning on letting her up?

Also might as well try this>>65697 can't hurt to turn on the elven charm eh? Seeing as how the gods of luck have apparently pointed out what a crappy warrior untrained elves make.

I hear those goblins are fairly xenophobic anyhow, so mustering up some tender aid and care could be in the cards.

>>65727
whoops, I mean goblin xenophilia not phobia..

Zepave 2009/10/17(Sat)16:05 No. 65729 ID: b1e366
File 125582074225.png - (17.95KB , 1024x768 , 20.png )

>Get her off you.

Goblin: Aww... What's the matter? Don't love me anymore?

>I must have hit my head. What's your name?

Goblin: Meh... Sure you did, lover boy... I'm Koz.

>>65729
Well look at the bright side she wont eat you...

>>65729
Ask her why she's being so friendly. Aren't elves and goblins usually enemies?

>>65729
"I am Zepave Cilithiliri, second son of Imere Cilithiliri, keeper of the chalice of Afedi- ect ect..

Anyhow I'm in extermination business...

...and you seem to have a rather large roach problem here, I left my large boot at home see and.."

Ah man you already told her you love her. Ancient elven law states you have to marry her now.

>>65729
>"Don't love me anymore?"
"O-of course not. I still love you. Don't be ridiculous."
Help her up off the ground and pat the dust off her. You're just trying to help clean her off, not cop a feel. Maybe.

>>65733
Unlikely, he merely has to quest for her honor now (likely how Bladetree could have gotten out of marrying "the Princess.")

Better check your pocket etiquette guide on what you are supposed to do in this situation.

Zepave 2009/10/17(Sat)19:32 No. 65830 ID: b1e366
File 125583314853.png - (17.73KB , 1024x768 , 21.png )

>Help her up off the grou-*CRRRRRRNKKKKKKK*

Koz: How do elves do anything? It's like their bones are made of crackers. What's your story anyway?

"I am Zepave CilithHHHNNNNNNNNGGGGGGiliri, secoNGGGGHHHH!d son of Imere Cilithiliri, keeper of the chalice of ARRRGGGGHHHHH!

Anyhow I'm in extermination business...

There seems to be a ratheRRRRNNNGGG large roach problem HHHHHRMMMPHere, I left my large boot at home see and.."

I think that went well.

The handshake is the goblin marriage proposal ritual. Sorry buddy. You really do have to marry her now

>>65830
Explain that you'll "take responsibility as a man" later. Right now you have a job to do.

>>65830
Roaches of Unusual Size?
I don't think they exist.

>>65830
She likes you, Zepave. Even if you have crackers for bones.
Where does she live, again?

>>65830
I suppose you had better start looking for a medical practitioner, else you'll soon be wanting the services of a gravedigger.

Let us hope this goblin maiden knows of a good place to crash until you stop bleeding out and your ribs stop sliding around.

Zepave 2009/10/18(Sun)07:03 No. 66155 ID: b1e366
File 125587460784.png - (14.85KB , 1024x768 , 22.png )

>Let us hope this goblin maiden knows of a good place to crash until you stop bleeding out and your ribs stop sliding around.

I'm not bleeding and my ribs are not sliding, only grinding slightly, creating a most peculiar sensation. I've also lost a lot of blood... No wait, I found it. TEHEHEHEHEurrrrrrgggggghhhh...

>>66155
Koz, if you can hear us, please take this idiot somewhere before he kills himself again.

>>66157
Actually, if she can hear us, let's just have her kill him and she can be the player character.

Zepave 2009/10/18(Sun)10:38 No. 66213 ID: b1e366
File 125588749360.png - (18.67KB , 704x624 , Kozisanindirectplayercharacter.png )

>>66190

>>66213
ZEPAVE tell KOZ to kill ZEPAVE.

>>66218
This.

>>66213
Tie him to a bed.
Arrange things so that he thinks something happened between the two of you.
Laugh as he goes into an honor-based meltdown.

Casually explain that you'll be allright, you just need a moment and maybe some more potion. But tell her to watch out. theres a monster about after all.

>>66218
How about we not commit suicide just yet. Lets see what gobbogirl has planned for us.

Zepave 2009/10/18(Sun)13:57 No. 66342 ID: b1e366
File 125589946892.gif - (21.19KB , 1024x768 , 23.gif )

Hrrrnnggg... What happened? Where am I?

(animated)

>>66342
Why the long face?

>>66342
Realize a goblin mongled your cock.

Zepave 2009/10/18(Sun)14:18 No. 66354 ID: b1e366
File 125590069096.png - (17.23KB , 1024x768 , 24.png )

>Realize a goblin mongled your cock.

How ridiculous. I think I would know if...

Koz: Wakey, wakey, lover boy. I guess you're not dead yet.

AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!~

>>66342
Zepave, what do your elven eyes see?

>>66354
You heard the lady. Become fully conscious as fast as elvenly possible.

>>66354
She's cute. Goblin or not, she just saved your sorry ass, so do the gentlemanly thing and thank her, Zeppy.

Illath Firisar Tholas&!ApKWyA4UiI 2009/10/18(Sun)14:43 No. 66375 ID: abf39b
File 125590217129.jpg - (53.16KB , 704x396 , Illath.jpg )

>>66354
Kill the harlot.

SLAANESH IS PLEASED BY THESE DEVELOPMENTS, PLEASE CONTINUE

Ask her what just happened

>>66354
Figure out another embarrassing position for when he recovers from fainting.

Zepave 2009/10/18(Sun)14:56 No. 66401 ID: b1e366
File 125590300791.png - (17.07KB , 1024x768 , 25.png )

>Ask her what just happened

Koz: You were ice cold after you passed out, so I kept you warm with body heat so you didn't die~

Why? What did you think I was doing?

>>66401
uhm... -nothen- nevermind I asked.

Anyhow, what now? (wait is she wearing clothes?) anyhow. Let's do this nonchalantly, we are probably feeling hungry now. Time for Food.

>>66401
Be gentlemanly. Say thank you :3

>>66401
Ask her if she's naked.
Roll to avoid a nosebleed. Fail.

>>66401

Ask if there's anything you can do to repay her

>>66419
Considering the best way to transmit bodyheat IS direct skin to skin contact, she most likely is. ...as are you.

>Ask if there's anything you can do to rape her

fuck

Zepave 2009/10/18(Sun)15:44 No. 66479 ID: b1e366
File 125590584423.png - (18.59KB , 1024x768 , 26.png )

>Considering the best way to transmit bodyheat IS direct skin to skin contact, she most likely is. ...as are you.

Koz: Somethin' on your mind?

>>66479
"I'm more preoccupied with what's on my chest..."

Seriously, how bad does she smell? Think of what a foul subhuman she is and for fuck's sake control your boner.

KOZ KILLED DUMBLEDORE!

>>66481
She wouldn't feel it if he pops one anyway. Elves.

>>66481
Thats gunna be a problem... see its not like we smell any better having just been almost killed and fighting after a long hike up here.

However, perhaps we should get to mind on some food and cleaning those wounds Yes, that's it! need cold water... must clear mind!

>>66479
Make strangled noises and turn red.

I know you have been trying to avoid the marriage issue. But now that you have besmirched her honor its the only way out.

>>66479
There's nothing you can do. Lay back and accept your fate. Having a goblin girlfriend (or wife) won't be too bad, they can be sort of kinky.

Zepave 2009/10/18(Sun)18:39 No. 66616 ID: b1e366
File 125591634648.png - (17.16KB , 1024x768 , 27.png )

>>66502
Wha- I will do no such thing. There's no reason at all to marry such a creature...

>turn red.

I... I don't see how that helps at all!

>>66616
What kind of elf are you even? Let me guess, one of those hedonistic High Elves, right?

>>66616
She did save your life, though.
Find that roach and take revenge.

>>66619
Yes, this is important.

Ah so we are one of those honor less "low" elves then. Best be getting on with beating her to death with a stick and savaging the corpse.

>>66616
Your face betrays your story.
But, enough. The two of you must slay the evil that nearly took your life - only then may the two of you express your love.

>>66616
Not yet... not yet... But you should at least pledge to repay her somehow, our honor demands no less!

Thank her for saving your freezing ass at least.

Zepave 2009/10/19(Mon)17:10 No. 67000 ID: b1e366
File 125599744384.png - (146.02KB , 1024x768 , 28.png )

>Thank her for saving your freezing ass at least.

Koz: Of course. See, I could have just killed you, but elves are so full of themselves that it's more fun to save ya, since you'll have to spend the next couple hundred years dwelling on how you owe your life to a lowly, skulking, thieving goblin and that's more fun.

>>67000
I like her. She's got spunk.

You, however, are screwed. You can't throw aside your elven honour now, so you're indebted to her.

Realize its not a big deal and take it as a joke. Laugh. You should you know.

She's a pretty cool gal, no shame in admitting that. A bit spunky, but good. Uhh... lets go get rid of that blight if your done healing... wait, ask her about it first.

Prove her wrong by just being genuinely thankful. Kiss her hand and give her a vague compliment in elvish.

Kiss her! Kiss her you fool! Now's your chance!

>>67000
Become uncomfortably aware of how little she's wearing.
Squirm anxiously a little, then awkwardly invite her with you to kill the oversized roach thing that almost killed you. Try not to think about her round, warm, soft, naked breasts rubbing on you.

Offer to repay her in some way.

>>67011
To be fair if she is going to play that way we could make her spend the next long centuries (goblins too, are immortal) remember something grand we do for her.

However I suggest against immediate physical repayment (despite what the other voices urge) as it would be be a trouble for her to have put on all that armor just for us to tear it off again so swiftly.

I suggest we focus on more immediate concerns such as continuing in our mission and bringing some order and civilization to this dungeon (with the additional side-quest of repayment of our debt.)

Wait what is that she is leaning on?

>>67000
Act like we're full of shame because a dirty goblin saved our life.

That might keep her satisfied, and keeping her satisfied is keeping us alive.

>>67038
I'm sure we can think of other ways to keep her satisfied.

...Like cooking her a delicious meal. :3

"Well when you put it that way, that kind of makes it easy to get over."

>>67000
Well, you do owe her. You'll just have to find some way to repay her, thus eliminating the debt, and then you can go back to being full of yourself.

>>67000
Ask her how you can repay her kindness so you won't have to spend the next two centuries dwelling on how a goblin saved your life.

Zepave 2009/10/21(Wed)14:44 No. 67931 ID: b1e366
File 125616149098.png - (108.30KB , 1024x768 , 29.png )

>>67053
>>67106
>>67015
>>67002

Koz: Well, if you really want to pay me back, you could help me cure this Nymph's Jinx.

DO IT

>>67931
Come now, are you not a gentleman? That is a dangerous ailment, after all!

This should be handled with discretion and respect.

>>67931

Stick yer dick in her.

>>67931
Second time i see this -- whats this Nymph Jinx thing?

>>67938
see
>>67602

Pay her back.

Tenfold.

Make her rue the day she ever decided to mess with you.

>>67939
I.. see.
So, thats the second time it showed up, no known symptoms?

use PENIS on KOZ

>>67931
The filthy creature wants to defile you! Destroy it, smite it, cleave it!

Well, it's not unreasonable. Get to it.

>>67931
That's a serious illness. She saved your life, you might as well save hers.

If you find you like it, well, guess that elven honor won't go to waste after all.

>>67931
As awesome as that would be...
She's most likely just messing with you.

>>67931
She's probably messing with you, but I like messing with you too.
Start to whip it out and see what she says.

>>67946
This man has the right idea. She must learn her lesson.

I gotta agree. I think she just messen with yah my boy.

It would take rather more convincing at to the nature and aliments of this peculiar plague (seems to be going around these days) before we just keel over to her carnal desires.

Accept and let her take the lead, we'll see if she's just messing with you then.

Worst case, she didn't really have it and just liked you, but you repaid the debt anyway, since that's what she chose.

>>67971
No, worst case is tons of diseases. Filthy pests.

Ask about the particulars of this curse, try to see if she doesn't know what she's talking about and is just messing with you.

>>67975
Dude he was probably already raped once in his sleep.

If she has a disease we already have it.

>>67975
She's a Goblin, not an animal or pest.
You racist jerk.

Of course. It would be an honor and a duty.

Zepave 2009/10/21(Wed)20:35 No. 68112 ID: b1e366
File 125618254115.png - (96.49KB , 1024x768 , 30.png )

Koz: Since you're willing, I want you to know that I've never... You know...

>>68112
Well then, you must show her what a strong elf like you is capable of. Teach her a lesson, the hard way.

Cue "Love Gravy".

>>68112
LOVE HER TENDERLY YOU BASTARD

>>68112
wait... If that's true then... how did you catch it? The Jinx I mean.

Zepave 2009/10/21(Wed)21:04 No. 68132 ID: b1e366
File 12561842719.png - (90.34KB , 1024x768 , 31.png )

>I want you to know that I've never... You know...

...had Nymph's Jinx!

>>68123
It's a curse. It's not a disease.

TROOOOOLLLLLL! THERE'S A TROLL IN THE VICINITY!

>>68132
She's a dirty liar. She must learn what happens to bad goblins who lie.

So do you want the sex or not? Its not like we have anything else to do at the moment.

>>68132
"Oh, well... good for you not being cursed."

>>68132
Blush furiously and insist you knew she was lying the whole time.

Ah, good then, I guess I should get dressed then, if you don't mind.

If you want to accompany me in exploring the rest of this, place, then I can't very well dissuade you, being in your debt and all.

But the morning is growing old and I haven't even risen.

Enough is enough. There's only one way to handle miscreant, foolish personalities like this. If you don't stop her hijinx RIGHT NOW she will just keep playing the harlequin and you'll never have an answer.

So do exactly this:
Grab her firmly but not roughly by the shoulders.
Look her into your eyes and put on your most powerful face without looking cruel. As you are an elf this will take some acting.
And then ask very firmly:
"Do you want it or not?"

This is what you must do. I'm sure it will work.
It works in all those Hero novels I read.

>>68161
The question is not... does she want it. But do we?

What will our family think if we bring home some pregnant goblin on our arm with the excuse that she was the first thing we saw when we awoke?

I'll tell you what they will think "At least it wasn't a dog licking wounds, or mayhaps some kobald."

We are both immortals and as such we should think like them... such careless trysts have been the downfalls of empires. We should not merely leap in to such relationships.

>>68162
>such careless trysts have been the downfalls of empires.
Well yeah but what if she gives like AMAZING head

>>68162
He's a man, he can make his own decisions without his family (if he even has one) looming over them.

Incidentally, >>68136 do this.

>>68161
This man sounds like he knows what he's talking about.
I'm all for this.

Smack her,a nd tlel her to stop fooling around.

Am I the only one who remembers the monster that [almost] KILLED you? It might come back. Ask her if she knows what it might be, if we haven't already.

>>68132
Cure her with your virile and magical elven seed. three doses should be enough to cure her.

"That's ok... I have"

>>68132
That's no goblin! That's a troll!

"Well, do you want me to cure your fake Nymph's Jinx or not?"

>>68535
This.

WHIP YOUR DICK OUT
SHOW THAT BITCH WHOS BOSS

"See, the thing is one of my friends once had Nymph's Jinx... I just can't stand the thought of anyone suffering the way he/she did"

>>68535
I second this motion. Imean, if you wanna dick her, you ARE gonna use this line!

Zepave 2009/10/23(Fri)04:19 No. 68855 ID: b1e366
File 12562967584.png - (118.02KB , 1024x768 , 32.png )

>"Well, do you want me to cure your fake Nymph's Jinx or not?"

Koz: Hey, wha-! You're joking right? Get off.

>>68855
Get off. Wank wang, nadge nadge.

Who thar, you dont want to go down as the elf who died shortly after raping a goblin do you.

>>68855
"You're blushing. Are you sure you don't want this?"
Let it never be said that you are not observant!

Lick her face.

>>68855
Bestiality, Zepave? Really?

>>68858
>>68859
Do a combination of both of these.
Really fuck with her head.
Just lean down real slow, say the 'You're blushing' part and lick.

ZEPAVE hug KOZ

>>68867
Yes! Countertroll!

YOUR MOUTH SAYS NO BUT YOUR EYES SAY YES

Get close, as if to kiss her and say "Well...?"

>>68875
This.

Allright, we've had her fun. Ask her what's happening. Where are we, why is she here, anything else you my beconfused about.

>>68879

Yeah what the fuck is going on?

>>68855
trollface.jpg
you can tap dat ass later, right now you have an uber-cockroach to kill

I´m partial of quietly whispering to her, when inches from her lips~

Suggestion 2009/10/23(Fri)11:29 No. 68903 ID: 5e4770
File 125632254864.png - (29.39KB , 336x336 , Awesome_Face_bigger.png )

If she doesn't want it... make this face.

tell her you can't stop, you've contracted hypersexomania

Zepave 2009/10/25(Sun)11:53 No. 69349 ID: b1e366
File 125649679016.png - (136.55KB , 1024x768 , 33.png )

"You're blushing. Are you sure you don't want this?"

Koz: Drmm... Ah...

This will teach the little beast to make a fool of me!

JUST... KIDDDIIIIINNNGGGGG!

>>69349

Stick yer dick in her

>>69349
Sloooooooowly lick up the side of her face.
Then get up and ask her to come along and find that Cockroach Of Unusual Size.

>>69352
>Sloooooooowly lick up the side of her face.

This.

Zepave 2009/10/25(Sun)12:11 No. 69354 ID: b1e366
File 125649789345.png - (116.71KB , 1024x768 , 34.png )

>>69352
>>69353
It seems a little unsanitary, but it wou- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!~

>>69354
Just stick your tongue out and thrash around. It's bound to hit something.

Bite her ear, it's only fair.

>>69354
Let go of her rub nose then call her a passive aggressive bitch.

>>69354
I'll bet groping her would get her to open her mouth.
Then you can cradle your nose and curse.

>>69366
This seems like a good idea.

>>69366
She has claws too, backing off is the correct answer, don't forget that you got overpowered by an oversized garden pest back there.

See, this is why I advise caution when dealing with non-elves... they'll play you, but dammed be if you think about playing them back.

>>69354
Oh holy fuck she's part Chain-Chomp!

Oh please. She thinks this is going to hurt you? A momentary surprise is all. Don't let her realize how effective her attack was. Remember, this is a matter of pride and honor.

>>69378
>matter of pride and honor
>RAPE DAT BITCH

>>69379
No. We came to this dungeon to clear it of traps, not prove we can out-deprave a wandering gobbo girl whoses only fault is to be a bit of a tease.

>>69384
...well traps and monsters, and hopefully some loot as well. But I remind you that she could just rip our throat out, or claw out one of our many arteries and we will be fucked.

I wonder if anything will actually happen.

Smile!

Then tell her she has bad breath.

>>69393
best suggestion ive heard yet

>>69393
This, but say "JUST KIDDING!" before you tell her she has bad breath.

Zepave 2009/10/25(Sun)19:06 No. 69540 ID: b1e366
File 125652276586.png - (126.39KB , 1024x768 , 35.png )

>I'll bet groping her would get her to open her mouth.

Such a lowly tactic, though I don't doubt it's effectiveness...

Koz: Hrrk...

>>69540
Okay now get off of her before she decides to injure something of more value to you than your nose.

>>69541
that and tell her she has bad breath

Whatevs she wants it.
Lick her eye.

>>69541
Get her off.
I mean get off her.
Cradle your nose and bemoan your lost elven beauty.

>>69540
Tell her no woman has ever been able to ignite the flames of passion like she has.

>>69549
Addendum, then go down on her to get her warmed up.

>>69540
this is clearly your toughiest battle yet.

Ok, let's diddle the gobbo so we can move on.

>>69549

this.

>>69540
Get off her now. her claws are sharp and her teeth sharper, we don't want to loose anything else of value.

>>69540
"Now, now, my little rabbit; didn't anyone teach you that biting isn't nice?"

>>69565
But a witty retort 'would' be a rather elven thing to do while extricating oneself from her.

A little biting is just foreplay. We wont me much of a adventurer if we back down from every challenge.

Mess with HER head, tell her that you're not in the mood anyway and get off her.

Oh just kiss her already. Seducing is part of adventuring.

>>69549

This, then tell her you're going to ignite her flames of passion as well.

Now get down there and eat some Goblin carpet.

now bite HER!

>>70058
How? she doesnt even have a nose.

>>70059

She does have tits though.

>>70063

And ears.

Oooh, that sounds like a plan. Nibble her ears.

tgchan: board-based Rape Playing Games.

>>70399
That's what happens with no Nimi. ;_;

I was hoping she'd agree to it.

Zepave 2009/10/31(Sat)14:38 No. 70875 ID: b1e366
File 12570251188.png - (118.17KB , 1024x768 , 36.png )

>Nibble her ear

It seems to be quite a sensitive spot. She has begun panting and moani... What was I doing again?

>>70875
Apparently engaging in very rough foreplay.
Weren't you killan some giant cockroaches?

>>70875

Stick yer dick in her.

Nibble the other ear.

Lick her eye.

>>70875
>What was I doing again?

You are fucking a filthy vermin.

>>70877
this

Yeah, I think you're trying to make a halfelf or something. This certainly seems the right way of doing it.

>>70877
>>70883
>>70891
>>70914

NO, NO, NO. HAVE YOU ALL LOST SIGHT OF OUR GLORIOUS PLAN? We are making her WANT to fuck the elf, but when the time comes to actually DO IT, he will stop and stand up as though nothing happened! We are blueballing her harder than any living creature has been before!

>>70875
You're making her all hot and bothered then leaving her hanging.

Perfect revenge.

Screw revenge, she saved your life, repay her with the best dickings she's ever had.

On with the nibbling and groping! Perhaps add some kissing!

>>70968
Son, we are an elf and dickery is what elves are best at... thus blueballen her.

This will be a long a slow process but in the end she will rip our armor off barehanded, just to get a taste. You will get what you want.. all in good time.

We could be some kind of Drizzt of the elves, replacing dickery with dickings!

Zepave 2009/11/01(Sun)12:35 No. 71254 ID: b1e366
File 125710774478.png - (103.97KB , 1024x768 , 37.png )

>Blueball (or female equivalent)

"Terribly sorry, I seem to have gotten carried away there. I will stop immediately."

Haha! The look of disappointment on her face is as clear in this darkness as though we were in the midday sun. Her little game has most certainly backfired.

>>71254
Wink, get dressed.
Make small talk about giant roaches.

>>71254
Perfectly executed. Now ask where that roach got to.

>>71254
Now search for the cockroach and try to hide your erection.

>>71254
Myess, mnyess, all according to Jrbifelter.

Let us sally forth, and continue our quest!

Stock yer dick in her.

Get dressed and go looking for that roach.
Tell her she's welcome to come along if she wants.

>>71262
Stock yor dock on hor

You sir, are an elven troll god amungst small goblin women.