Shopping spree!!

I've got some questions about how to improve a little.

I suspect that my characters seem a bit flat.
As the viewpoint character, there should probably be more of an emotional slant to the descriptions of things that matches Frankie. I'm planning on going for an eager-to-be helpful, but somewhat neurotic personality.
I figure I can achieve that, by describing his reasoning for why he does things, & inserting some emotional language there. Does that sound good?

As for other characters, I'm not quite sure how to do that.

For the Monitor, I can write in a certain voice pretty easily, but I'm not sure how well I can get a sense of pessimism across.

Similarly, I'm not quite sure what to do with Cerendi. I think part of it is that I don't have a concrete description of her personality.
I'm trying to go for a hardcore "gamer-girl" type of thing. Strong opinions on games, etc. Knows what she wants, headstrong. Friendly, but not nice/soft enough to be a mother-figure.
Maybe just writing it out here will help?


Besides that, I'm not sure about pacing (not that there's any pace to measure yet). Obviously, updating more frequently would be good, but that'll probably come with time.

Also made this quest more in-depth than I originally meant to. Not sure if that will be good or bad yet. This is my first quest, so I'm worried it'll be a bad thing.

>>139804
I mean, I could make that part of the quest-for-a-power-supply.
Frankie finds several different options, each with different pros/cons?

I was thinking of a more general shopping-spree happening later... Hmmm... I'll think about that.

Not sure we could give accurate critic one way or another on characters at the moment. We've barely just met them so it's a bit early to say if you're succeeding or failing to get their personalities across. You might be overthinking it. Give it a few more updates before we start analyzing things.

Don't overthink it.

Just Update.

Tiny Animals Fantasy Battles? Kammight 2023/06/13(Tue)18:18 No. 139869 ID: 4314ed
File 168670548939.png - (1.24KB , 64x64 , ORB_Icon.png )

Does anybody wanna play with ideas for "Tiny Animals Fantasy Battles" (basically Warhammer Fantasy/40K, but furry)?

I've got three submissions for Frankie's fave figurine, but no images/detailed descriptions. I think I'll go with the "Shark Week chapter" option. Honestly, I figure I'll keep the ideas from the ones I don't use immediately, too:

> ... CATMARINE that you painted in BATTLE CAT SQUADRON colors.
I figure I'll take Spacemarines, slap some cat features on-em, & fantasy-ify them. For the colors, I'm thinking mostly black, with orange/yellow & white secondary colors.

> ...Shark Week chapter figurine - this one's a female brute unit, which is only slightly less jacked than the male version, and you find the contours of the skin-tight wetsuit...
I think this might be another Catmarine, but with some added shark-features & gear designed for water. I'm thinking mostly slate/shark blue, with blue/white/black 2ndary colors.

> ACE PILOT figurine.
I dunno, bird-person? Thinking of leather aviator-jacket look.

Also, if you have ideas for factions, lore, etc, I'm all ears. I can also just reskin stuff from WH40K/WHFantasy, too.