"God damn this thing is slow. Feels like months I've been on this thing." Musta been some power shortage. This tub's barely holdin'.
"So what do we do?" Well first things first we need to find whatever's causing the elevator to slow. Find Raskull, kick his ass, and flush the reactor. Not in that order, just in whatever comes first.
Aaaaaaand looks like that's the source of our elevator problem. "How the hell do you fix something like this?!" You got a brain kid. Even a retarded monkey could figure somethin out eventually. I'll go look for a map, this place is like a damn maze.
"Well that's just great. What do we do now?"
Open the box! WITH GUSTO!
A retarded monkey would just throw poop at it. I doubt that's the right answer here. Check the breaker box.
>>260615 Check the breaker box. And look for some sort of extinguisher.
SUPER OPEN! "Wait a sec."
>>260819 "This ain't a breaker box! It's a box! With a...I'm not sure what the hell that is."
Try to use the strange extinguisherlike object. Point opening at fire, squeeze round bit?
>>260820 Well the description of it fits with the present situation. Lets see if we can use it from a somewhat safe distance on the fire.
SUGGESTIVE SPEWING! "Wow that's pretty damn effective..."
Okay kid I got ya a map and-oh good you got rid of the fire. "Kay...can I see it?" Well yeah your goin it alone in there. "Yeah I-wait what?"
Oh yeah this place is fucked to hell. I gotta stay behind and patch this road hazard up. Anyway, you are yellow dot. Reactor is red dot. Go to red dot. "And that thing on the side?" I dunno, some asshole carved that into the side plate. I think it's a penis.
>>261122 Looks like a rocket penis. Well then, lets get going. Be prepared for anything.
Okay, let's go forward, and take the third left, which is after a long corridor.
>>261178 "Kay...so how do I get passed this stuff?" I got a way, but you ain't gonna like it.
"Hey what are ya-" Keep your arms tucked in!
Now get going. I got a pipe to tape together. "Right. Uhm..."
"Running."
"Ru-HOLY CRAP!" "I uh. I don't like the way that stuff's all glowy."
Fuck, backtrack to that door you passed, see if anything useful's in it. Like an ULTRA MEGAMOP 2000.
>>261527 Do this. If it's locked, I think you ran past a key card on the ground, grab it and try that. Or just use your master of locks stuff to open the door. Either way.
>>261501 Eh, it's just a bit radioactive. Looks like you can get around it by hugging the corners. If you move quickly enough you will probably not be hit with a lethal dose of radiation. A quick trip to the medbay after you're done and there shouldn't be any lasting harmful effects.
>>261500 Card reader is disapproving of your running about everywhere. >>261529 Yes this.
>>261529 CARD GET! Current inventory is card key, and nearly empty bottle
USED CARD KEY Access denied. "Hmmm...wrong key. Well then."
ILLEGAL ACTIVITY IN PROGRESS "Well since it IS thousands of years old, the software may not be all that great. Maybe if I..." Acess deni-Access d-Acces-Acce-Ac-Ac-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[b]*krzt*[/b]AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
mALFUNCTiOn. MUltipLE DamAgEsssssss............ "I think I killed it. Well the doors open."
"Nothing but a busted, and gutted robot, a porno pin up, and a roll of fixin tape."
Peel off the pin-up and see if there's anything under it or on the back. Look inside the gutted robot for anything not stolen and/or hidden stuff. Maybe grab it and use it as a stepping stone across the radioactive crap. Nick the fixin' tape.
>>261836 "There's nothing in the bot. Like I said, it's gutted. Behind the pin up poster was...another key card...like I really need one. Also there's some writing." 'Hope to see you in Port Luuvan again soon Gapka -EinAnnJin' "Oh yeah, and I took the tape."
>>261847 Meh, take the card anyway. Might be valuable to somebody else, get you some cred.
>>261852 Red Key Card Gained "Okay. Now let's assume that stuff is radioactive, and that I DON'T want to go to a med-bay full of angry pirates I hospitalized in a drunken haze. What do I do now?"
I think there was an intersection we can turn at back where we came. Turn left at it, so we don't go directly away from our destination.
>>261869 Drag the robo to the radioactive puddle. Push it into the puddle, around the middle (oh yeah, make sure it will hold up to you jumping on it before you do this) of the puddle. Jump on top of robot and then across puddle. Be awesome. Or you could attempt to go aroud it again.
>>261958 "Well I guess its worth a shot..."
"Um...I don't think it's coming back up..."
>>263543 ...Well, uh... Well shit then. Yeah, go around, man.
>>263543 Well fuck me, that shit is dangerous as fucking hell. Ok, time to go search for an alternative route again. Go back to the first intersection and take a right there.
>>263610 "Right back the way I came. Now when you say right..."
>>264796 "Do you mean my right or the other right? And by first intersection, do you mean this one, or the other one?"
>>264799 Your other right.
>>264804 Probably this.
>>264804 "To the right I go the-DAMMIT! WHY MUST IT NEVER BE EASY?!"
FUCK! Turn around and go straight left straight left straight.
>>265408 "I am getting sick of all this backtracking...
"And these stupid generic walls."
"And damn near everything else about this damn ship."
"Oh what the f-" Please turn back. A spill hazard has occurred that is lethal to organics. Please wait until pipe is fixed and cleaner drone have been dispatched.
>>267094 USE KEYCARD(s)
>>267095 The previous door you passed seemed to have a keycard slot. Go try that one.
>>267130 "Okay...I didn't here a ping... must be busted."
"A deactivated service droid. There's a card slot where you input a protocol card."
"And the only cards I got are these 2. They might be protocol cards seeing as how they don't do shit anywhere else."
>>268568 Press them together and put in both of them.
>>268569 "Uh...okay?"
HAZARDOUS SPILL DETECTED. PLEASE STAND CLEAR. "Woah. Can't believed that worked."
Follow it!
>>268685 REMOVING HAZARDOUS SUBSTANCE. "Uh this robot thing is working but the puddle ain't getting any smaller. Think it has somethin to do with that hose?"
>>268773 Probably. Going to have to find a way to fix that. Or, hmm, you think you could stand on top of the robot's head and jump across?
>>268782 "Oh yeah! I still got that roll o tape! Only how do I apply it without melting my hands off?"
>>269017 Make a loop with the tape and draw it shut to pinch the hose off.
>>269037 That might work.
"Okay. Yes it'll work...no...shit-no...yes...no-ye-no...yes...YES!"
Contamination levels dropping. It is now safe to traverse, but please watch for puddles. "WHOO! I am awesome!"
>>269306 Yes you are. Now onwards to the real task.
Get moving!
>>269601 "I am already! Just not sure how to clean a glowy burning reactor thing."
What's that button? Don't push it without reading the text above it.
>>269939 "It's uh...Well I can't read this shit." It says clean. "Oh thanks."
"I woulda stood there for days if ya didn't-WOAH! Ugly face." So, your the Terry after my job. "Uh...what?"
"You Raskull?" If so, engage combat mode.
>>270151 Drink and punch his lights out. It's time for some drunken brawling.
"Uh...job?" Gettin close to the captain ain't ya? I don't like yer face.
Put em up Terry, let's see what your made of.
...combat mode activate? Drink up, ye hearty!
>>270566 Or you could push the cleaning button and leave? Just saying.
>>270566 That's not as fun. >>270547 Get drunk and slap his shit.
>>270587 "Fine then, you wanna fight asshat?" Conflict detected
"Bring yer shit on!" That's the shit!
>>270601 Then unleash the motherfucking fury and show him why you don't fuck around with drunken terries. Time to fuck up his shit.
I want to suggest kicking him inna nuts, but didn't we have a couple other fighting styles to choose from?
>>270601 Kill him with your hair.
>>270684 Drunken Fist Fighting Stance Motherfucking fists! Fuck you! =Right in the balls bitch!= Hah! Can't even lay a toe on me. Attack missed
>>270826 Utilize MOTHERFUCKING FISTS to counter his blow!
>>270826 He is about to try to introduce his fists to your face. Don't let him, instead headbutt his fist, then introduce your fists to his nuts.
>>270862 Switched to Motherfucking fists! You take 1 damage(5 absorbed by hair) Gapka's arm breaks, receives 3 damage. Gapka's left arm is disabled.
... ... ...WHAT THE HELL DO YOU USE AS HAIR GEL?!
Fist to face.
>>271615 Now you grab his other fist, then introduce your foot to his knee. Nuts would probably be better, but who the fuck knows where freaky aliens keep their nuts? But joints should still work. Then when he's unable to try to kick free you just punch him in the face repetedly until it gets boring.
Fist connects with Raskull's middle eye. Uh oh.... Raskull is knocked out. Conflict Resolved
"Hmmm. I guess the middle eye hurts like hell."
>>272701 Good to know. Now to finish the task you were sent here for. Then you can return in triumph to your superiors.
What the hell's taking you so long eh? "Well you see." Beatin the snot outta Raskull? It takes that long to kick that whiner's ass? "No it's just that-" You haven't even cleaned the reactor yet did you?
Look it's not hard just push this button here. "I kno-" What you can't read? In the future this thing says 'clean'. Remember that ya illiterate twit. "But-" There done. Now let's go, or will you drag yer ass back to the captain's quarters?
"Why won't you fackin' listen?!" I'm leavin...
>>276341 Lets celebrate a job well done by getting hammared.
>>276341 Get. Fucking. Drunk.
>>276411 >>276396 "Yeah, yeah how do I do that on an empty bottle?" 'Ey boss, we're done with the thing involving the cleaning. Good get to the bridge I think you're gonna like this. And bring the rookie with you.
>>280585 Lets go to the bridge then. Also, ask if you can make a detour to the ship bar on the way.
>>280593 "Huh? Oh too late." So what is it you need cap? Take a look.
A Kroll vessel. Terran make by the looks of it. Probably has a Kroll crew though. And stuffed full of processed ores from some Terran colony. The engines though seemed to have been disabled by somebody else. Easy pickings for us. "How'd you know it was here?" It's been broadcasting across the whole damn sector. We're boardin' that thing and taking everything that ain't welded to the floor.
>>280605 Smells like a trap. But the captain might already know that. And possibly volounter you and some others to get into a shuttle to board the thing and make sure it's not a trap. Which is why you should probably volounter yourself before he can do it. Oh, and requsition some booze before you go, tell them it's necessary as an armament.
>>280607 "Ooooh! Ooooh! I volunteer to-" Go with the first boat? Good. Gapka, you're going with the kid. What? I'm still stuck with baby-sitting? No, you and Raskull. And about 30 other boys are stuck baby-sitting. "Raskull...didn't I just beat the crap out of him?"
Yeah but I got better. "YAH!" Any more complaints kid? No? then go down to the armory and get your gun back! Kroll troops take a hell of a lot of punishment.
"Well what about Stella?" Glamour-puss? You think'd I'd let her out just for some maintenance work? No kid. Show me you're really gonna work for me. Then you'll get a chance to go for that ass.
>>281337 WE NEARLY KILLED OURSELVES IN FUCKING RADIOACTIVE WASTE WHAT WAS THAT MY DAY FUCKING OFF YOU MOTHERFUCKER
Here's your gun kid. Gained Stambul23 Gained 30 rounds of ammuntion "What about my-" Booze? Yeah I've seen how you work. Raskull get him a bottle of-somethin' I dunno. Just make sure it ain't lethal to terries.
Bottle of ???-labeled alcohol obtained Well kid ya ready? Conflict Detected Enemies Kroll Crew (x?) Allies Gapka Raskull Pirates (x32) Weapons Stam23 (2/28)
>>281403 Well what are we waiting for? Lets go fuck up some disgusting aliens. Just let the other more expendable people be the first through the airlock.
Try a few shots from a distance while you take a few sips of ye olde alcohol.
>>281455 "Way ahead of ya." TIME TO DIE PIRATES! Kroll Commando A is priming weapon Kroll Commando B is firing weapon. KCB fires 7 shots. Pirate takes 12 damage. Pirate is incapacitated.
>>281546 Oh look, a totally predictable trap. Ok, lets see what we can do to salvage the situation. Looks like their optical sensors might be vulnerable. So lets try shooting that. Or possibly throwing some pirates at them to bleed aggressively over their optical sensors.
>>281549 "I know. It's hard aiming when being shot at!" KCA takes 7 damage. KCA fires 7 shots KCB fires 7 shots. Pirate takes 10 damage "How'd the captain fall for such a trap?" Trap?! If this was a trap they'd have a bigger reception! Ha! You gotta lot to learn kid!
>>281639 So this is a normal reception? Damn, they must have rather high casualty rates. Ok, looks like you might be able to damage the joints on the knees of the other one. Lets try shooting that and see what we can do.
>>281693 Nah, nah, shoot his hand, the one that was behind the guard when he was facing you. ...Well, that, or just keep shooting at the one guy, take him down.
>>281723 >>281693 "You might be on to something. Both of ya..." 1 shot fired (0/28). KCA takes 42 damage. KCA is blinded. KCA is firing wildly KCA fires 21 shots. KCB is hit for 35 damage. KCB is incapacitated. Rito receives 42 experience points. Now that's one helluva lucky shot.
>>281840 Hang on he's still alive... keep yer head down I'll deal with him.
>>281842 Gapka fires. KCA is dead.
RELOAD YOUR SIDEARM GRAB A MACHINE GUN AND GET TO RAIDING
>>281847 Stam23 reloaded (2/26) Well would ya look at one a these. Kroll Decimator. Kroll 13-3 by the looks a things, not bad. Want one? "YES! DO WANT! DO WANT!" Well here, I already got one anyway, it'll do you good to have somethin besides that pea shooter. acquired Kroll Decimator 13-3 (665/700) Raskull fires. KCB is dead. Conflict resolved
>>281850 Cackle madly. Then check out what the ship you just conquered has on it. Hopefully it includes more booze.
>>281852 "So where's the loot?" Ah nah kid. That was just the opening number. A ship this size is gonna be crawlin' with Kroll. "Well great so where to next?" That's just it kid, this place is split into a whole buncha places. We're gonna split up. I'll head for the bridge, Raskull's takin the Engine Room. You go for the Cargo Hold. "...well where the hell's the backup?" I dunno. Just take those five goons and get going. We got a ship to loot.
>>281893 This is not an efficient operation. Anyways, loot some armor or something I dunno. You got a pretty cherry job by the way, straight to the cargo hold? Hell yeah!
>>281893 Ask them where the armory is on this place. Making sure that they don't get fancy weapons while you do should make the fight easier. Then assign some dude to go point and head over there.
>>281898 "Why me?Apparently I'm the only one with any fightingg experience as the others are a bunch of new guys that surrendered back on the Belshazzar. Rinko took point and so far he saw no one." Die terries! "Fuck. Apparently Rinko is blind as shit." Conflict detected. Enemies Kroll (2x) Allies Rinko(pistol) Gavik(assault rifle) Alon(pistol) Duvit(pistol) Gudduin(rifle) Issue Orders to allies
>>282291 Do some covering fire with the huge gun while the mooks find somewhere to hide and make potshots. You've got a kabillion ammo.
Gudduin's got the most precise weapon, hopefully he can use to to good effect. Have him hit their sensors or visors or whatever their armor has for their weird-ass alien eyes.
>>282291 You got a new heavy weapon to try out. Lets see how heavy it is. Hose down the fuckers with fire! Oh, and tell the rest to do the same. Need to suppress them and then advance and kill the fuckers.
>>282329 "Gudduin! Aim for the eye thingies!" Gudduin is lining up a shot. Fired 21 shots.(643/700). Kroll takes 21 damage. Kroll is killed. "I LOVE THIS GUN!"
>>282396 Get two dudes up to possibly storm the place while you provide suppressing fire. Or toss a grenade or two behind there if you got it.
>>282397 "All unnecessary. Besides where am I gonna get a grenade? From my ass?" Fired 7 shots(636/700). Gudduin fires. Kroll takes 20 damage. Kroll is dead. "See what I mean? Rifle plus table equal dead guy on the other side."
"Oh eww. He's spilled eye juice all over everything."
>>282673 Oh, I thought it was a proper cover, not just an overturned table. Ok, loot the bodies. Seems like you got another pistol and a rifle. Hand them out to whoever is the best shoots among your followers. And check if they have anything else that's useful. Oh, and check that door before continuing on. Don't want anyone to burt through it while you continue on and shoot you in the back.
>>282676 "Yeah anything's better than the pistols half these guys are carry-WOAH!" Conflict Escalated Enemies Kroll x 25
>>282697 Wow, that's quite a lot of Kroll. Hose them down with bullets and kill the shit out of them.
"I would go in there with twenty kinds-a-kickass, but I can't even get a good view of em." Issue orders
>>283122 You got a badass assault rifle. Just peek it over your cover and open fire in a sort of line from right to left and try to strafe the room. Then pull back the gun and wait a bit to hear if any of them are getting back up and opening fire again. If you don't hear any firing then ask if anyone has a pocket mirror or a knife. Or preferably both and some addhesive. Or one of those nifty fiber optic things you can use to look around corners.
How about we flank them instead?
>>283125 They appear to cover both entrances.
Wait until they stop shooting/need to reload/run out of ammo?
>>283181 "I dunno how much ammo they got." >>283128 "No they're down below, I just need to move to a better position."
"Just need to move to-OW shitfuck that stings!" Rito takes a grazing hit. Rito takes three damage Kroll are focusing on Rito
>>284380 Just a fleshwound, nothing to worry about. Return some fire by popping up the gun and blindfiring a bit. Then move on towards the better position.
Actually, no, they're focusing on Rito, yes? Send your allies up to the better position, while you stay nice and snug behind something solid.
>>284435 "I don't need tellin twice. Fuck for a fleshwound this stings..." Hey asshole! Who the hell we supposed to shoot. There's like twenty guys down there!
Can we just... go around them? Oh wait, how about we just block the window they're firing through?
"The ones with the biggest, fanciest guns and gear!"
>>284936 Tell them to shoot all of them, in descending order of the ones with the fancy guns first. Then keep moving. A flanking position and hosing down the place with bullets would be sweet.
>>285034 "The shootiest ones first!" Easier said then done. Duvit is drawing their fire.
Boss, I gonna need back up cuz a pea shooter's doing shit to them. "...well I can see three so far from my vantage...where's the other 22?" 4 members waiting for orders.
Shoot the green guy first. Everyone should pop up when they're safe and take a few shots then pop back behind cover. Someone should keep an eye on the door though. I suspect that most of the group is coming up here.
>>286275 The others can wait their turn to get shoot. Kill these ones first. And yeah, green dude is as good a starting point as any.
>>286330 Rito fire 36 shots (600/700) KrollA takes 22 damage. KrollA is killed Kroll have re-focused attention on Rito
Rito fires 21 shots (579/700) Gudduin fires. HEADSHOT! KrollB is killed. Kroll are in disarray
>>286762 Finish off the last guy and yell out that Tunnel Snakes rule. Or possibly space snakes. In either case you rule. We also need to use this confusion to our advantage and move to a position where we can take out the rest.
>>286804 "Nah lemme see if I can't take a few more out. Shouting that for one kill sounds kinda wasted."
"Oh hell yeah that's better."
"YEAH MUTHAFUKAS! SPACE SNAKES RULE!" Rito fires 42 shots(536/700) KrollC takes 22 damage. KrollC is killed. KrollD takes 25 damage. KrollD is killed. KrollE takes 6 damage. KrollE moves to cover. KrollF takes 23 damage.KrollF is killed. KrollG takes 27 damage. KrollG is killed.
I love that gun. Any more left? There should be more. Look around, but don't expose yourself.
>>287936 Space snakes does indeed rule. Now get into cover. There's still one of them left. And call up your crew to better positions so that you can advance further.