Not asking! Demanding! Unless you're the responsible for Yorik, the poor skull next to that protrusion from the wall! In which case you should be brought to authorities for further explanations!

Mysterious Greenslime 2011/12/08(Thu)15:39 No. 370722 ID: 6a5a08
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>>370451
Telling the hippie you want to do some Feng Shui and get positive energy flowing through the skull, you seem to have him for a moment, but you aren't the most Charismatic adventureress.

>>370459
You demand once again that he give you Yorick, the skull near the protrusion. He goes and picks it up and asks if that's what you mean, slime lady? The Hippie tells you that's a totally un-rad idea. He's got to get the skull back up into this here vault, ya know? He's got no idea how it gone and walked out.

Say: "Oh, its your sinister magic skull? Keeping it contained sounds good and all, but it seems to have somehow escaped from there once already."

>He's got no idea how it gone and walked out.
Summon Wooden Crate.

Why do you have a human skull inside a wooden crate inside a vault inside a cave with traps, dead albino warchicken impaled with enormous stone sword, hidden stone door and engraved altar with pressure plate?

Mysterious Greenslime 2011/12/09(Fri)06:19 No. 370887 ID: 6a5a08
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>>370726
Well that's a pretty rockin' point you have, the Hippie agrees. Might be time for some moving to be done, if this here vault ain't safe no more, ya dig?

>>370804
Summon Wooden Crate. He never even figured anybody would up and summon the crate, so he done and didn't put any blockerators for it.
See, this here skull is the skull of Archnecromancer Ben.

Charley lowers his sword and asks what the heck the Hippie is talking about.
You recall with your Smarts that Ben was head of the Necromancer Guild. It was all completely legal, at least until they tried to take over the world. He was supposedly thrown into a volcano.

My apologies for sporadic crappy updates, schedule's out of whack. Also I'm a terrible procrastinator.

>>370887
The skull used to belong to a powerful necromancer? Maybe it still got some power left in it, we need to acquire it... later.

Ask why it's so important it stays in the vault and what else is in there.

Mysterious Greenslime 2011/12/09(Fri)15:45 No. 370938 ID: 6a5a08
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>>370889
You buy time while you plot.
The Hippie says there's nothing else up in here, lady dude. Nobody knows if the guy was Lichin' it up, but they don't want no chances, so they keep the bones separate, you dig? Order of the King of Humenland.

Charley whispers whole the Hippie's back is turned that he's going to need this story checked. He's not sure if it would be wise of one of the two of you to stay behind with this guy, but he shouldn't be left alone with the skull either. He wonders what you think would be best.

Midnight passes, your Mana Spheres are full.

Convince him to travel with you so you can find a better place to put the skull, where it won't escape from.

>>370939
This is an excellent plan, it should give us time to figure out if we can tap into the skulls power without worrying about someone else stealing it.

>He wonders what you think would be best.
Summon Wooden Crate.

Mysterious Greenslime 2011/12/10(Sat)07:46 No. 371091 ID: 6a5a08
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>>370968
>>370939
You suggest that the Hippie go along with the two of you to find a safer spot. He just shrugs it off and says this is a rad place to put it, cause all the wards done got made already. No crates this time's all, you dig?
Sides, it's not like any Necromancer's gonna come lookin' up in a tree. Unless you're a Necromancer, dudelady?
Charley comments that a Necromancer wouldn't report the skull to the town guard.
Hippie says that's a sweet point, he was just makin' sure.

>>371008
You suggest Summon Wooden Crate. Charley leans in closer and asks what the heck you're planning to use that for.

We could do the sensible thing and seek a way out.

However, after he opens the vault, I really want to see a wooden crate on a collision course with the head of this smartass! Wait! Make it two wooden crates!

1/2 Mysterious Greenslime 2011/12/19(Mon)09:45 No. 373548 ID: 6a5a08
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>>372271
After what feels like a month the Hippie finally opens the door, and you promptly summon not one, but two wooden crates over his treehugging face.

The Hippie deflects the first crate with Force Push, but doesn't see the one behind it until it is too late. Totally not cool dude (you disagree, it was totally cool).

2/2 Mysterious Greenslime 2011/12/19(Mon)09:47 No. 373549 ID: 6a5a08
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There are two crashing sounds, and Charley has been knocked Unconscious by a Flying Wooden Crate.
It is Dark.

luckily he has a helmet and a good number of hearts.

go crawl into the hippies lung's to finish them off.

Examine Charley. He has a potion? Anything that might help him to wake. Restraint devices? Thanks to your ridiculous strength you can not use a rope to hold the Hippie, but I think that using handcuffs are within your capabilities.

Examine Hippie. Yorick? You do not leave anyone behind. Potion? Maybe something really smelly to wake Charley. Key to the vault? You do not want to go there just to be locked inside it. Something of value? You can not help, you are poor and he is a jerk.

Examine vault. Go nuts if you woke Charley, took the key to the vault AND immobilized the Hippie.

Otherwise, just take the key, look for something to wake Charley, rescue Yorick, throw the Hippie inside the vault and close it. Necessarily in that order, if possible. Get out of there as quickly as possible.

>>373550
We shouldn't kill the guy over a random skull.

Mysterious Greenslime 2011/12/20(Tue)18:44 No. 373810 ID: 6a5a08
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>>373575
You examine Charley. There don't seem to be any Potions on him, but you find a Shortsword, a pair of Manacles, and a Ball of String, standard equipment for a Town Guard.

You get the Manacles, which is really all the weight you can carry at a time (who the heck made metal so heavy?) and go over to the Hippie, who is thoroughly unconscious. Probably with a concussion or minor brain damage. You slap the cuffs on 'im and loot his not-corpse. The Hippie is carrying a Mana Potion, some Hallucinogenic Drugs, and a Fake Beard. Ben Yorick lies on the cold, unforgiving stone of the top step. Alas, there is no key to Ben Yorick's Vault. You're pretty sure the Hippie opened it with Magic.

Equip FAKE BEARD.

Mix MANA POTION with HALLUCINOGENIC DRUGS and CONSUME.

Go on an ACIDSLIME-TRIP.

Wake up Charley. Enter the vault together, while Charley carries the Hippie.

Mysterious Greenslime 2011/12/22(Thu)16:03 No. 374388 ID: 6a5a08
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>>373883
Unfortunately, you lack anything to wake Charley with.

>>373872
You also lack a solid form to strap the Fake Beard to, so you just hold it on with some Slime. It weighs pretty much nothing.
You pick up the Hallucinogenic Drugs and pour them into the Mana Potion, causing a small puff of smoke. You gaze into the Bottle of Swirling Light, and are apprehensive about consuming it. On the other hand, the more of the Mana-Filled Fumes you inhale, the less fucks you give.

Mysterious Greenslime 2011/12/22(Thu)16:04 No. 374389 ID: 6a5a08
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You absorb the liquid in the bottle and drift away into a land of colors.

Level Up:
Select an Attribute to raise:
>Strength: Increases your carrying capacity and melee damage.
>Resilience: Adds another Vitality Heart.
>Channeling: Adds another Mana Sphere; You learn a new spell.
>Smarts: Increases your understand how things work, and makes you better at Research and Analysis.
>Agility: You move quicker, act faster, and roll with the punches better.
>Charisma: People like you more and are more likely to listen to or help you.
>Slime Acid Upgrade: You can use ranged Slime Acid an additional time per day, and gain an Acid-based melee attack usable at will.

Channeling, we need more magic

more smarts.

Smarts first choice.
Chanelling second.

Strength! Your lack of power has given us too many problems! Maybe you can even maintain a more solid form!

Suggestion 2011/12/22(Thu)21:34 No. 374476 ID: 6a5a08
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You rise the ranks to Level 2, and your Smarts is now 4.
You are also presently incapacitated by heavy drug use.

>Please Create a Character (see first post for any forgotten details)

>>366946

>>366946
Another vote for Merchant SquareMan.

Suggestion 2011/12/22(Thu)23:09 No. 374496 ID: 6a5a08
File 132462417459.jpg - (66.00KB , 720x720 , frame41.jpg )

You are a Squarefolk Merchant. Your father Mikon has recently passed away, leaving you with a Shop and Lots of Gambling Debt. Everything was taken from the shop to pay the debt, and you are left with naught but your trusty Loincloth. And it's all because of your mother, that Filthy Stinking Whore. It fills you with Burning Hatred for the Female Sex.
Stats:
Vitality Hearts: 4 | Mana Spheres: 1
Strength: 1 | Resilience: 4
Channeling: 0 | Smarts: 1
Agility: 1 | Charisma: 1
Carrying Capacity: 2 Items plus equipped items [can carry 'weightless' items (eg. maps, notes) up to logical limit]
Items:
>Loincloth
Spells:
>Squarefolk Regen (1/day can spontaneously heal 1/2 heart, but becomes hungry)
Traits:
>Basic Literacy: Able to read and write basic concepts, eg. name, money value, and simple words. (Background)
>Masculine Bravado: +1 Resilience
>Squarefolk Resilience: +1 Resilience

Is this Character okay?
>Y/N
If Y, please Name Character

>>374496
Y
Quad von Profit

Quad von Profit 2011/12/22(Thu)23:31 No. 374506 ID: 6a5a08
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You, Quad von Profit, hear a commotion outside. In the mix of general panic you pick out the words 'oh god the blood' and some uncouth slang terms.
It doesn't help this depressingly blank room and your depressingly blank life and your depressingly blank rage. But it does distract you momentarily.

>>374506
Clearly we need a better class of rage. We should check outside to see if we might acquire some there.

RAGE? RAGE!? YOU DO NOT KNOW RAGE, SQUARE ASS! NOT WITH THIS PATHETIC EXPRESSION! GO OUT AND GLARE AT THE WHORE WHO DARE TO DISTRACT YOU FROM YOUR RAGE!

Quad von Profit 2011/12/29(Thu)07:14 No. 375962 ID: 6a5a08
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>>374524
>>374537
You attempt to focus your Rage and step outside. You see the body of a woman- no doubt a Filthy Whore- lying upon the ground. She is dead.
There is a Rampaging Crossdresser locked in combat with a Town Guard. The Guard seems to be in trouble.

Assist RAMPAGING CROSSDRESSER for lulz and (actual) profit.

attack the slut! use that massive HP reserve to take a hit for the guard so he can land a killing blow.

If this RAMPAGING CROSSDRESSER want to dress like a FILTHY WHORE, then we will treat him like one, aid the guard.

Find out what's up, then aid the rampaging crossdresser.

SWORDS? SWORDS! THESE WEAKLINGS ARE A DISGRACE TO MANHOOD! SHOW THEM THE BITTER FLAVOR AND FIERY PASSION OF THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE AND GENTLEMANLY WAY OF BATTLE: GOOD OLD FISTCUFFS!

1/2 Quad von Profit 2012/01/01(Sun)13:56 No. 376814 ID: 6a5a08
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>>375996
>>375963
You contemplate taking out your rage on the world along with the Rampaging Crossdresser, and move to assist.
>>375994
>>375964
But then you realize he is dressed like a Flithy Whore and should be treated as such. That is to say, Burned at the Stake.
>>376003
You are Confused, Angry, Hungry, and you want to punch the shit out of something.

Quad von Profit 2012/01/01(Sun)13:57 No. 376815 ID: 6a5a08
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You punch a Whore. Stop staring into space, you Dead Whore. Space is too good for you.

The Guard begs for his life.

uses guard's sword on cross dresser.

>>376816
This is the best course of action, the cross dresser must be slain

>>376815
Use guards sword to violently sodomise filthy whore cross dresser!

THE ONLY GOOD WHORE IS A DEAD WHORE! STOP PUNCHING THIS FINE MODEL OF ELEGANCE! PUNCH THE RAMPAGING CROSSDRESSER FOR BEING A WHORE! PUNCH THE GUARD FOR BEGGING HIS LIFE TO A WHORE!

>>376860
DO THIS. THEN TAKE THE GUARD'S SWORD AND GUT THEM.
Do we really need ANOTHER Frank Miller Quest?

Quad von Profit 2012/01/03(Tue)09:34 No. 377154 ID: 6a5a08
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You cease the punching of the Dead Whore and Get Guard's Sword. It's probably a Scimitar or Ratatouille or something. You aren't good with sword names and shit.

Resisting the urge to PUNCH. EVERYTHING., you make use of your Element of Surprise to go shank this Wannabe Whore right where his Heart might be. You aren't good at astronomy either. Not like he has one though, cause he's a Filthy Heartless Wannabe Whore!

Sneak Attack Critical Hit! The Rampaging Crossdresser Wannabe Whore is successfully penetrated by your Girthful Blade. Town Guard shakily attempts to get up and stop the bleeding, but looks about to Faint. You suspect only his Manly Bravado keeps him from collapsing.

be proud of him being manly, but slap him once for showing weakness to a wannabee whore.

>>377154
Keep stabbing the whore, shout "TAKE IT! TAKE IT! TAKE IT YOU FILTHY WHORE!!!" while stabbing. Then casually greet the guardsman once you have stabbed the whore about 50 times.