you are lord Phillip Masterson.

ZOOSMELL POOPLORD

Or, preferably:

FARMSTINK BUTTLASS

Pick whichever one you like less.

Marquis Sebastian Kyrillos

Phil 2012/04/20(Fri)14:47 No. 402589 ID: 0d2bec
File 133495844045.png - (21.08KB , 594x583 , 73.png )

My underlings call me 'Bossman.' It is a title which I have desired for some time, and I have earned it in kind. It was a simple task to gain the moniker, of course. All one has to do is simply be a man, then be the boss.

However, as you are not my underlings, you may call me Phil. My title of nobility means nothing to you, nor does the fact that my actual last name is a closely guarded secret.

Masterson. Please. My father was no master.

Your presence complicates matters a bit. See, I hired a simple Mook and some dumb Broad under the pretense that they'd serve as guards in some landlocked base of operations. Then, I planned to feed them to spiders.

Well, har har, looks like my spiders aren't getting fed.

Because the Mook killed them.

Anyways, ignoring names, what is that amorphous mass at your feet? It seems to have wires embedded in it. And why is that goblin on your left defecating semen?

Also, gee, you're surprised that two mages killed some spiders? You're an idiot.

you call that place landlocked?
also, what you expected them to just sit there and die while being munched?

Phil 2012/04/20(Fri)14:57 No. 402594 ID: 0d2bec
File 133495906210.png - (20.96KB , 594x583 , 74.png )

>>402590
>>402591
The author/illustrator of these last couple panels forgot to gray out the background in its entirety, though that white smudge by the goblin was rather suspicious.

The mass of wires at my feet help me control my island through a few simple, easy to understand buttons. I was never one for engineering.

An idiot? There were several thousand spiders bearing down on them. I didn't accidentally hire a couple of Archmages. In their resumes, they specifically mentioned that they were APPRENTICES at their crafts! How was I to know that the Mook had some kind of ace up his sleeve? He was supposed to be spiderfood, not some magical prodigy.

>>402592
See, that was what I told them at the time of their hiring.

I lie often.

Phil 2012/04/20(Fri)15:17 No. 402599 ID: 0d2bec
File 133496027999.png - (13.34KB , 592x583 , 75.png )

But of course, all that is behind me now. Have to look ahead. Big plans and whatnot.

Meanwhile, my blood pressure shall skyrocket as I attempt to contain the rage and fury I feel towards incompetence.

My own incompetence, in fact. While it is true that I had no indication of anomalies in the Mook, I should always inspect my employees for these kinds of oddities.

My lack of forethought has damaged my base of operations, and the very thought of my own failure is giving me a migraine.

Any ideas of how to assuage this pain? You wayward spirits help people, correct?

>>402599
You could make them actual employees instead of meat.

Honestly, was livestock THAT much more expensive? Cows don't get magic powers.

yeah! for people we like.

>>402594
Amazingly, other people may lie as well. You might want to do intelligent things like making *sure* that your new meat poses no threat to your precious, precious spiders. Although I don't suppose you really care all that much about them.

>>402604
Oops, ninja'd. Anyways, yeah, cows, seriously. Do these spiders really need human flesh or something?

Phil 2012/04/20(Fri)16:43 No. 402621 ID: 0d2bec
File 133496538413.png - (20.96KB , 594x583 , 76.png )

>>402601
I wish I could tell you that I was feeding the spiders human because 'it tastes good' or because 'they're picky eaters.' Maybe it is because I like the reputation of feeding spiders human meat.

But no. The actual reason is twofold.

One: My blood pact with the Matriarch demands that I feed her babies human flesh.

Two: Human bones are much more usable in the process of reanimation.

>>402602

You don't even know me yet! I've shown you, specifically, all the amenities I'd provide to an equal. I let you call me by my first name, and, perhaps more tellingly, I've allowed you to witness my meeting with the goblin chieftain.

>>402604

I owned up to that mistake. I honestly did not perform the necessary psychic and arcane examinations on the two before taking them into my lair.

And that was an astute guess. I don't really care about the spiders that died, since the only reason I'm taking care of them is because of the Matriarch.

She's not a happy spider right now, let me tell you.

So. You spirits have made it clear that you do not trust me. How may I earn your trust, then? Is it even possible?

>>402621
alright. As long as you actually have reasons for needing manflesh. Otherwise it'd just be pointlessly evil.

Have you ever considered the benefits of fighting crime to gain the affections of the public? It supplies human bodies from bandits and criminals, and confuses adventurers whoare after you, letting you convince them you could turn to good when they confront you.

Also, what ambitions do you have?

Can you explain what each of those buttons do?

Raid 2012/04/20(Fri)17:16 No. 402643 ID: 0d2bec
File 133496738559.png - (21.11KB , 594x583 , 77.png )

>>402629

Of course I have. Unfortunately, most monarchs decline meeting with someone who has made a blood pact with the Broodmother of All Spiders, thus I cannot manage to strike a deal concerning their justice system.

Ambitions? Well, I would really like to BREAK my bondage to that infernal arachnid queen. Of course, I also want a full kingdom to myself instead of my little island here, but that will come in time. No need to rush.

>>402633

The big red one fires a laser. The yellow one warns the hangar of potential emergency conditions. The green one allows me to view readouts on that black screen over there concerning the health of my fortress. The dark blue one is to harness surplus energy from storms we may fly through.

The purple one isn't quite working yet. It's supposed to allow me to change elevations (between a list of preset heights) by altering the Reactor's power output, but the goblin technicians haven't quite gotten that up to snuff yet.

Almost flew out of the atmosphere last time we tried having it hooked up. Now it's just a useless violet polygon.

Would you like to ask any more expository questions? The goblin is taking his leave now, so I can focus more on you spirits now without having to worry about seeming rude.

Would you no longer be bound to the Queen if she were to, say, be slain by two disgruntled grunts turned adventurers?
If you play things right and they succeed, you might be able to sell them a story about how they 'freed you from her control', and you weren't really responsible for the while spider sacrifice thing (which almost true).

And of course, if they fail all you need to do is maintain plausible dependability.

What do you want a whole kingdom for? Politics is a pain in the ass. You've already got cushier accommodations than any ruler, anyway.

Unrelatedly, if the button fires the laser, how exactly do you aim it?

What benefits does the Queen give you, and what tribute does she demand?

If she's more useful alive than dead, and she's a pain in the ass because of her personality, try and subjugate her mind.

If the drawbacks are an intrinsic part of this sort ob pact, kill her and find some less inconvenient way to gain power.


I myself have no qualms about your morality, just your questionable practicality. Now that you've proven you had a good reason for having to do silly things, I have no problems with you.


Now, let's conquer the world or smaller patch of it, if you're not a megalomaniac/get filthy rich/get revenge/get some superpowerful artifact/whatever.

Seriously, world conquest is generally a bad idea. The problem is administrating it and staving off unlikely heroes and their motley bands.


And where's that laser, specifically?

Raid 2012/04/21(Sat)01:32 No. 402702 ID: 0d2bec
File 133499717053.png - (19.51KB , 594x583 , 78.png )

>>402648
...

You. You, sir spirit, are a genius.

However, as per the nature of the Pact (which I will outline shortly for another fellow spirit), I must still make an ATTEMPT to stop them. Nowhere in the lettering does it say that the attempt must be a powerful one.

This must be why the stories all say that the spirits are by far the most dangerous enemies have, yet the most beneficial allies to make.

As you may have noticed, on my own, I am not the greatest tactical mind ever to come fall, umbilical-bound, out of a mother's womb.

If you don't mind, can you give us the exact wording of the pact? I'm sure we can find a loophole somewhere. Probably multiple.

Phil 2012/04/21(Sat)01:47 No. 402705 ID: 0d2bec
File 133499807557.png - (58.75KB , 1434x688 , 79.png )

>>402666
>>402692

Why do I want a kingdom? Because controlling a large population of serfs would be useful in my much-longer term goal of attaining godhood.

Oops. Should have mentioned that one earlier. Yes, in addition to ruling a kingdom, I'd like to take on the mantle of a deity.

And I'm aware that the common trope of the genre would be that I fail at doing so.

It bothers me every single day that I'm the villain. I've read enough stories to know that villains lose in the end. I must find a way to make that not so.

The laser is at the tip of the island, underneath the long grass strip.

Anyway, I aim the laser with the console to the right of me. There are some buttons to press that adjust the angle and direction. Alternatively, one could attempt to aim it manually in the generator room attached to it.

Ah, yes. My blood pact with the Matriarch.

When I was a young and (I'll admit it) fool of a schemer, I thought it would be beneficial to have a legion of starving spiders at my beck and call. I believed that they made the perfect spies and bodyguards, in enough numbers, and that their protection would be beneficial to running an operation such as this.

So, in my 'infinite wisdom,' I ventured deep into the Hourglass Forest in search of the legendary queen of spiders. After a few hours of searching, I found her. Almost got eaten, but I presented the pact to her before those... You could call them 'fangs,' but the word doesn't really do them justice. Before her 'fangs' could break my skin.


"I, Lord Phil, pledge this blood to you, on the following conditions:
You and your kin protect me, my belongings, chosen underlings beneath me, and my objectives from harm to the best of your ability.
You and your kin spy for me to the best of your ability and report back important information as quickly as possible.

In return, I offer:
Protection for you and your kin by me and mine, flesh of your selection to dine upon on a monthly basis, and a comfortable lair for you to birth your young and weave your web."

Being a spider, she lacked the intelligence to notice many of the loopholes I left open.

Being a fool, I lacked the intelligence to realize I'd just bonded blood with a giant, evil spider. Blood pacts are made of strong magic, let me tell you. Anyone can do them if they're skilled enough in a magical art.

Okay. First, you need to find something more evil than you are, then become an antihero or antivillian. Then, unleash it by accident or something. That's a bit vague, maybe the queen? We can work on it later.

Now, you left a lot of loopholes open. Good. However: does the pact actually enforce itself, or does the Queen have to do that? And what happens to you if the Queen dies, being blood-linked?

Right now, it seems that the best course is to mind-control the Queen and use her as a foil to make yourself seem better. Get her to change the human flesh bit to nonspecific flesh.

Oh, and on a possibly related note: One of your spiders seems to be less mindless than the others. It helped the mooks in exchange for a promise of flies. He might make an useful ally to replace the Queen if she becomes troublesome.

Also? If you change your name, you could be free of it entirely. Forsake your title, change your name, or become a Duke. Lord Phil will then no longer exist and the bargain will be null and void.

If the pact enforces itself and dissolves automatically, she might notice as such. Which would be bad, no?

If she has to enforce it, she might not notice it and you could take advantage of her, which would be great but unlikely. Keep it in mind as a last resort.

Phil 2012/04/21(Sat)02:09 No. 402710 ID: 0d2bec
File 133499937754.png - (20.20KB , 594x583 , 80.png )

>>402706

Um.

I don't think you know enough about my operation if you refer to anything on the Mortal Plane as being more evil than myself.

If the Matriarch dies, that ends the blood pact. Other than that, it cannot be altered in any way, shape, or form. Since the vast majority of her offspring have died in a GRAVITY RELATED INCIDENT, this would not harm me in any way.

A spider with a brain? Hmm. Might be useful, if I could ever find him.

I cannot mind control the Matriarch. I have no such skill.

Also, I already HAVE a plan, and while I am no 'tactical genius,' it follows the formula that has worked for me since Day One.

Brute force, in a quantity that cannot be matched, is often just as useful as all the subtlety in the world.

>>402710
It doesn't actually have to be more evil than you, just appear to be as such. Your brute-force philosophy is good for a villain. Now, since you're genre savvy enough to know of a villain's fate, you'll have to learn subtlety. Remember, the key phrase is "cannot be matched." Once an unlikely hero, motley band, etc, blahblahblah, match you, you're screwed.


Make out the queen to be more evil than you- you're the unwilling pawn, remember?

And hire someone who can control minds. Especially if you can steal his powers somehow.

Phil 2012/04/21(Sat)02:22 No. 402716 ID: 0d2bec
File 133500016475.png - (20.26KB , 594x583 , 81.png )

>>402711

Changing my name is impossible because that would be an active attempt on my part to end the pact.

If I hired someone with mind control powers and ordered him to perform his magic on the Queen, then he'd either go mad from the experience or the pact may interpret it as me breaking my promise of a 'comfortable lair' or 'protection.' It's a very finicky pact. Same goes for if I could mind control her.

Going against the pact is... a risk that I'm not quite willing to take.

The only reason the plan with the grunts would work is because my hand isn't personally steeped in it, and that due to the wording of the pact, I don't need to extend my best efforts into stopping the Mook.

As for controlling a nation, well... I believe I have adequate supplies for that at this juncture. I could probably do it alone, but having assistance as a failsafe seemed like the better of two paths.

About not extending your best efforts, now might be a good time to send some of your more competent minions off to deal with some 'pressing matter' elsewhere. That way if she gets suspicious, you have a good excuse not to mob them.

>>402716
Hm... who decides how the pact is applied? Queen? Your own intentions? The pact itself? If it depends on what you intend by your actions, then doublethink might come in handy.

Phil 2012/04/21(Sat)03:27 No. 402739 ID: 0d2bec
File 133500404604.png - (69.01KB , 1146x583 , 82.png )

>>402720
I was just on my way to do that. Thank you, though.

>>402724

The definite triggers for the pact are nebulously defined and, at best, dangerous to circumvent. I can hate her and want for her to die without suffering ill effects. But if my actions mimic my thoughts, well, then there's a problem.

The blood pact would... Stop me. Let's just leave it at that.

Let's not. Do tell us what exactly it would do. We could be able to think of a way to circumvent it, guard from it, or turn it to your advantage.

Is it gruesome? Horribly embarrassing? Are you just not exactly sure?

Phil 2012/04/21(Sat)03:30 No. 402741 ID: 0d2bec
File 133500424703.png - (73.84KB , 1146x583 , 83.png )

What's the chieftain doing back here so fast?

"Visitor for ya, boss."

Visitor?

>>402741
Uhoh. This is probably bad news. Do you have a lookalike? Someone probably wants to murder you.

Phil 2012/04/21(Sat)03:36 No. 402744 ID: 0d2bec
File 133500455954.png - (74.31KB , 1146x583 , 84.png )

>>402740
The blood pact would-

Oh. Shit.

Family drop in for an embarrassing visit, or guy who could murder you and wants to?

Phil 2012/04/21(Sat)03:57 No. 402747 ID: 0d2bec
File 133500587813.png - (74.29KB , 1146x583 , 85.png )

"Hail, Phillip!"

Ergh. I think I just popped a vein in my neck.

"To you, my name is Lord Phil," I explain as calmly as I can through a set of gritting teeth.

"My apologies. I didn't know you had other guests to impress."

Other guests? Wait, does he mean you?

"Maybe I should usher them out so we can have some privacy?"

I shake my head, slowly.

"Where would you like to go, little spirits? Back to Garth? Or Bertha? Maybe to someone new?"

That voice is like cracking glass. Gods below.

I like Lord Phil just fine, thanks.

>>402747
Ask him to send us to get him a doctor. It looks like he's been wrapped in electrical tape and beaten half to death with an ugly stick.
Or is he undead? If he's undead he just needs a cloak.

garth

Phil 2012/04/21(Sat)08:14 No. 402804 ID: 0d2bec
File 133502126940.png - (75.78KB , 1146x583 , 86.png )

I told them.

Phil 2012/04/21(Sat)08:15 No. 402805 ID: 0d2bec
File 133502130658.png - (77.38KB , 1146x583 , 87.png )

To stay out.

Phil 2012/04/21(Sat)08:15 No. 402806 ID: 0d2bec
File 133502133032.png - (79.44KB , 1146x583 , 88.png )

But noooo.

Phil 2012/04/21(Sat)08:16 No. 402807 ID: 0d2bec
File 133502136071.png - (113.49KB , 1146x583 , 89.png )

It ALWAYS HAS TO BE THE HARD WAY.

??? 2012/04/21(Sat)08:17 No. 402809 ID: 0d2bec
File 133502146140.png - (7.59KB , 581x583 , 90.png )

I'm gonna need a doctor for those two. Maybe we can save them...

come on... get on... where is the ch...

garth

Garth?

Garth, are you awake?

Garth 2012/04/21(Sat)08:45 No. 402819 ID: 0d2bec
File 133502312443.png - (16.19KB , 594x583 , 91.png )

Holy cripes my head hurts.

Are any of you guys listening? The things who were talking to me way earlier?

I need help. My arm feels messed up, and there's this dull throbbing in my chest.

What should I do? I don't really wanna survey the damage but I also don't want Bertha to have to take the reigns.

You know some herbalism, right? Would you be able to determine what it is you need to make yourself better?
You lost your auxiliary arm bit, which means your arm is back to un-mutated form. The heart is a bigger issue. Probably there's nothing to do for it but avoid exerting yourself too much for a while. Assessing damage may be unpleasant but it's probably a good idea regardless.

>>402819
Your bicep-arm got ripped off. Also there's some kinda purple thing on your chest now, due to the gravity magic you used.

Garth 2012/04/21(Sat)10:13 No. 402866 ID: 0d2bec
File 133502843913.png - (17.94KB , 594x583 , 92.png )

>>402841
>>402848
Aww, damn. That arm coulda been cool if I got into a fistfight.

Ah well. I'm sure I'll mutate something cool in the future.

And lemme check if I still know herbalism...

Garth 2012/04/21(Sat)10:16 No. 402868 ID: 0d2bec
File 133502857822.png - (10.51KB , 364x297 , levelchart.png )

Yep.

Yeah, I know how to make a poultice to put under this... Bandaging? It looks like Bertha ripped off parts of her shirt to make it.

Oh my.

But, ahem, uh, I can look to see if there's some plants on this field that I can work with.

"Ya feeling okay, bud?" Bertha mocked, offering me a hand to get to my feet. I take it.

You two haven't said anything to each other yet.

Thank her for punching you in the face, repeatedly, until you bled, while you were already injured.

Tell her to please hold all of her orgasms from your manly display of arcane might just then until after the show. Get up like seven badasses. Even if you cough up blood or something that just makes you more hardcore.

Garth 2012/04/21(Sat)13:58 No. 402971 ID: 0d2bec
File 133504190096.png - (17.45KB , 594x583 , 93.png )

She then offers me a high five.

Would it be awkward if I declined? I feel kind of diminished without my third arm, even though I only had it for a couple of minutes.

Garth 2012/04/21(Sat)14:02 No. 402975 ID: 0d2bec
File 133504216217.png - (17.54KB , 594x583 , 94.png )

>>402970

We haven't said anything to each other, but we KNOW each other.

I mean, I know we haven't 'met' but I know her name is Bertha and she knows my name is Garth.

It's probably because of that psionic link thingy you guys have running with us. Or maybe it's cuz she's psychic.

Anyway, you're right. I give her a high five because I'm the lord of fanciful orgasms I deserve such a display of BROMANCE, even if she isn't a bro.

OKAY AWESOME NOW YOU SHOULD-
I don't know what you should do. Look around I guess?

Or, wait, we're actually involved here? There's no meta-knowledge problems? Do you know what the deal is with bossman and why he had all those spiders? He's got some kind of blood pact with the "Matriarch" and he hired the two of you to get ate by spiders. you could go fight him I guess, but you should probably exposit any leads you might have on the location of the matriarch instead.

Also, your bossman is not exactly willing. He made a blood pact with the Queen of spiders when he was young and stupid. He's required to feed human flesh to her kids or the pact will do something unspecified but extremely unpleasant to him. The Queen is the bigger threat here.

He could quite possibly have been lying to us, but he had no reason to and from what little I know of him, that's not his style.

Oh and, out of curiosity, what exactly are we guys to you? How do we manifest in your world? Just random voices that happen sometimes? What?

>>402986
We seem to be some kind of spirits, considering how the boss guy summoned us and referred to us as such.

>>402990
True, though they didn't summon us. I'm curious how we appear to these guys specifically.

Hey, you guys! You should hunt down the spider matriarch and kill her!

Right, well! You're not getting out of here by going down so it's time to go up! Climb the mountain of rubble that you just came out of until you find an entrance that doesn't contain spiders. Then find the bossman and demand an explanation.

Garth 2012/04/22(Sun)02:06 No. 403134 ID: 0d2bec
File 133508559918.png - (22.96KB , 985x583 , 95.png )

>>402977
This is our current location as I can see it. There's an elongated red cone attached to those wiry things.

>>402982

Woah, woah, woah. Slow down there, man. You're telling me that the Bossman is obligated, nay, forced to feed an evil spider queen human flesh? That's pretty fucked up, not gonna lie. But whatever. I don't know about Bertha, but my goal here is just to leave this island. It's hard for me to give less of a shit about some dude who tried to turn us into a 'to go' box of arachnid feed.

>>402985
How long did you talk to him for? The guy lied to us pretty hard.

>>402986
We don't see or 'hear' you, but we kinda feel your presence when you're around. When you speak to us, your thoughts manifest in our heads. It is kind of confusing, but after a little trial and error I think I've gotten the hang of it.

Spirits are legendary for their helpfulness, either for better or worse. This is the first time I've spoken with them. I've heard some people can block spirits off, or ward them away with certain magic. I dunno what that seems like from your perspective.

>>403062
Nnnooooo thanks. Not if there's an alternative for getting off the island. I'll take it into consideration when I'm absolutely sure the only way off is to confront the bossman and ask him to leave.

>>403065

For now, I'm not in the best climbing condition. I still feel a bit wobbly on these legs. If you guys want me to, though, I suppose I could give it a gander.

>>403134
Well, he did reveal that he was vulnerable, admit that he was a dunce when it comes to tactics, and beg us for help. If he's lying, he's an excellent actor. It's quite possible.

Can you tell us more about when you were hired? A flashback would be helpful. We could compare his previous behavior and compare it to how he just acted to see if he was lying to us, too.

To clarify: He heavily favors brute force over subtlety, diplomacy, and intrigue, and has little foresight. He's a level 20 fire mage and fairly blunt.

We don't know what his other four skills are. Again, it's entirely possible that he's a magnificent bastard-level genius, but current data makes it unlikely.

>>403140
Of course, if he were lying, those are exactly the sort of things he would want us to believe.

>>403173
Yep. It's possible, like I said, but not all that likely.

Garth 2012/04/22(Sun)05:59 No. 403196 ID: 0d2bec
File 133509955731.png - (14.46KB , 594x583 , 96.png )

>>403140
"Your resume says that you are adept at using blunt weapons and know a little bit about magic and plants. You also mentioned mutating on occasion?"

I remember his voice was really smooth and bassy, like a polished rock.

"Yessir."

I was happy to be getting a job. In this economy, getting hired ANYWHERE was a good thing.

"Hmm. Do you have an ancestry of magic? Any liches, dragons, deities in your family tree?"

"No, sir."

He waited for a bit after that, as if thinking about something or other. He's kinda snakey looking.

"Excellent. I think you've got yourself a job, Garth. Report to the second address in the classified ad and we'll put you in the employee registry and show you your barracks."

Of course, they never showed me my barracks. I ended up sleeping in the antechamber.

I didn't notice that the lair had kinda just taken flight.

That's about all I know about the guy.

Well, that didn't reveal much. He may have been lying to us, but let's not count on it.

Anyways, how do you get better at gravity magic? Do that until you can control the descent of roughly 300 pounds indefinitely- yourself and Bertha, then jump off.

Well he didn't seem like that good of a liar in that interview, so he might have been honest about the spider thing.
Still, that isn't too important at the moment. You should go inspect that GRATE in the wall.

Garth 2012/04/24(Tue)05:14 No. 404077 ID: 0d2bec
File 133526967026.png - (26.67KB , 594x583 , 97.png )

((Apologies for the small, unannounced intermission.))
>>403197

I get better at using magic by practicing it in a productive manner. For example, if I use it to defeat an enemy, or hold shut a door or something, I'd learn more about the art. It's sort of like learning how to play an instrument; you practice a song and through your knowledge of that song you can understand more difficult material. I can't just hone my skill over and over again by picking out grass, for example.

>>403299

Can do, mister Spirit. I, uh, have my apprehensions about this ledge, I must say, and that wound isn't feeling too much better yet.

some blue flowers ngrowing on the plants on the ledge. grav them up. look like a herb.

Yank the grate off with gravity magic, then.

You still have that purple thing sticking out of you. If you use gravity magic, test it in a minimal amount first.

Garth 2012/04/24(Tue)06:57 No. 404113 ID: 0d2bec
File 133527584040.png - (26.38KB , 594x583 , 98.png )

>>404089

I tell Bertha to do so. She says okay. The plant is known as a 'blue trumpet,' and it's one of two ingredients in a basic healing poultice. I don't need the petals, just the vines.

>>404104
>>404105

I'm... Not too comfortable using any amount of gravity magic right now. Most of what's under the wraps is just blood, but there's some purple fluid mixed in. I'm not too well versed in the study of advanced magic, but I think I could use a break in spellcasting.

For now, at least. If I can get some goldmoss and finish the healing poultice, I'd be willing to try some casting.

Goldmoss huh? What's it look like and where does it grow?

Garth 2012/04/24(Tue)10:00 No. 404232 ID: 0d2bec
File 133528685615.png - (23.26KB , 594x583 , 99.png )

>>404152

It's got long, fibrous roots and is typically found either growing in cracks where it has access to soil or underneath hard places. Plumbers often have problems clearing it out because it has a tendency to wrap around pipes. I think it's a cool plant, personally.

well the rock behind bertha looks like it's been there a while. an there are cracks around the grate.

>>404232
Hmm. Can we get that grate off? If not, where else can we even go?

Garth 2012/05/05(Sat)11:48 No. 408299 ID: 0d2bec
File 133624370083.png - (30.40KB , 594x583 , 100.png )

>>408027
>>404239

Bertha found the goldmoss! Sweet.

As for removing the grate, it'd take some finagling on my part. I'm still not sure if the poultice would act fast enough to prevent more hemorrhaging.

Any other ideas before I give the grate some juice?

Garth 2012/05/05(Sat)11:48 No. 408300 ID: 0d2bec
File 133624373656.png - (20.74KB , 594x583 , inventory.png )

Also, here's all the stuff we're currently carrying.

Smash it with your mace.

apply mace to cracks.

Garth 2012/05/05(Sat)12:27 No. 408317 ID: 0d2bec
File 133624603469.png - (21.23KB , 594x583 , 101.png )

>>408302

I give the grate a smack with the mace, but it's made of some strong type of metal. Can't break it using the mace alone, it looks like.

>>408310

While swinging at the cracks does let loose some stone debris, I'd be here forever before I could dig out the whole thing.

>>408317
Augment its weight with gravity and use it as a lever to snap/pull out the grate?

swing it again, but once it gets to max speed increase it's mass by as much as you can.

Garth 2012/05/05(Sat)12:54 No. 408336 ID: 0d2bec
File 133624768128.png - (25.76KB , 594x583 , 102.png )

>>408318
>>408321

Of course! If it isn't strong enough on its own, I could just give it a little boost.

It's smart ideas like this that make you spirits such a boon.

Now, just gotta take a swing and

Garth 2012/05/05(Sat)12:54 No. 408337 ID: 0d2bec
File 133624769472.png - (27.61KB , 594x583 , 103.png )

-hrk

okay sit down and put that poultice on before you break something permanently.

Bertha 2012/05/05(Sat)13:44 No. 408360 ID: 0d2bec
File 133625066040.png - (25.21KB , 594x583 , 104.png )

OH FUCK.

SPIRITS, I COULD USE SOME HELP HERE!

DID HE JUST GO INTO SHOCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

>>408360
Probably. Well, you're fucked now!

Oh no, you'll have to kiss him.

mix moss and flowers toegtehr into a paste

>>408390
this

Bertha 2012/05/05(Sat)15:47 No. 408464 ID: 0d2bec
File 133625803673.png - (25.37KB , 594x583 , 105.png )

>>408365
DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT?!

>>408382
w-what? No! He's unconscious and WHO SAID I EVEN WANTED TO KISS HIM ANYWAY?!

>>408390
>>408448

Doing it! What next?

Basically what you want to do is spread it around on the bandages so that while the wound is bound, the poultice is also applied to the wound.

>>408464
remove bendage and shirt, apply poltice and cover it with bendages

Bertha 2012/05/05(Sat)16:51 No. 408527 ID: 0d2bec
File 133626190339.png - (25.23KB , 594x583 , 106.png )

>>408512
>>408514

Okay, I applied the herbs. Poultice. Whatever it is. He seems to be coming to.

"Hey, Garth, are you alr-"

Bertha 2012/05/05(Sat)16:52 No. 408528 ID: 0d2bec
File 133626194894.png - (25.57KB , 594x583 , 107.png )

-ight?"

FUCK THAT WAS QUICK.

IS THAT ANOTHER ARM?!

Its a tentacle!
Lick it. Lick the tentacle.

Resist the urge to punch him again.

>>408540
this

Bertha 2012/05/05(Sat)17:28 No. 408547 ID: 0d2bec
File 133626409109.png - (25.76KB , 594x583 , 108.png )

>>408540
hellll no

>>408541

Urge resisted.

If you guys want, you can switch between us at will. At least, I think you can. Just say the word.

Garth. What happened, brotha?

wont help much if he is comatose.

Garth 2012/05/05(Sat)18:22 No. 408573 ID: 0d2bec
File 133626733781.png - (25.71KB , 594x583 , 109.png )

>>408552

Hey. I kinda blanked out for a minute there. Forgot the wound hadn't closed and the stress of managing my magical power must have irritated it.

This poultice will take a while to kick in, so I'm gonna say hello to the new Shoulderarm.

Much cooler than Elbowarm, I think.

yeah. let's you do a full three things at once instead of two and a half or so with elbow arm.

Would you be able to form/melt ice in the cracks to erode the stone?

Bertha 2012/05/06(Sun)07:49 No. 408808 ID: 0d2bec
File 133631578568.png - (28.87KB , 594x583 , 110.png )

>>408612
Yessir! Good call.

Now, what do we break it with?

>>408808
Get dude to hammer at the edge of the cracks, make more ice, melt ice, repeat. This might take a bit.

>>408808
More ice magic? You can manipulate ice as well as creating it, right?

don't even need to hammer. melt it and add more water and freeze it again
it takes forever for nature to do it because nature has to freeze in winter and melt in spring so it takes a long time to do a cycle. magic lets you do it crazy fast

Bertha 2012/05/06(Sun)09:58 No. 408823 ID: 0d2bec
File 133632350237.png - (28.86KB , 594x583 , 111.png )

>>408818
His hammer flew away off the side of the mountain when he had that little... Accident? I'm still not quite sure what that wound is, but we're now down one hammer.

>>408819

Right. Just a little bit of pressure... Popped it right off. Huh.

Nowhere else to go but inwards.

>>408823
but get some spare herbs, never know when some healing would be useful.

Garth 2012/05/06(Sun)14:23 No. 408902 ID: 0d2bec
File 133633939762.png - (25.04KB , 1168x583 , 112.png )

>>408887

Good call. I picked some before heading in.

>>408857

Alright. We crawled in. It's dark in here and it smells like sewage. There are two paths, one which leads into darkness and one that ends in what looks like a dark pit. I think I can hear water down there, but there's no telling how deep it is.

Turn left.

The one that isn't a hole.

Would it be plausible to climb up a vertical tunnel?

Garth 2012/05/06(Sun)15:27 No. 408945 ID: 0d2bec
File 133634324214.png - (17.38KB , 1168x583 , 113.png )

>>408938
>>408942

I can't climb a vertical tunnel, and our goal isn't really to go 'up' anyway. At least, I don't think that's our goal.

After turning left, we end up in a hallway which leads to a gentle downward slope and some light.

Should we proceed?

You will probably need some weapons and stuff before you can successfully make your escape.

And yes, carefully go examine the lighted tunnel.

Garth 2012/05/06(Sun)18:25 No. 409038 ID: 0d2bec
File 133635391506.png - (27.93KB , 1168x583 , 114.png )

>>408961
It emptied into... this room.

This seems rather ominous. At least we've got somewhere to run if things go poorly up ahead.

looks like something on the roof right over the bodies.

Garth 2012/05/06(Sun)18:37 No. 409063 ID: 0d2bec
File 133635464604.png - (27.80KB , 1168x583 , 115.png )

>>409053

Another goddamn spider.

Just what I needed right now. A fat arachnid chock full of hallucinogenic venom.

Ugh.

>>409063
doge it, or failing that smash it with your three fists.

>>409063
Bertha: Talk to it to find out if it is hostile or not. They aren't all hostile. If it is, you have ice magic.

Garth: Do not touch the poisonous spider.

Garth 2012/05/07(Mon)04:00 No. 409344 ID: 0d2bec
File 133638845205.png - (28.76KB , 1168x583 , 116.png )

>>409128
It doesn't seem to be coming after me.

>>409130

"Bertha, you should try talking to the spider. What's he doing down here?"

Yeah. I step away from the goddamn arachnid. I've had just about enough of them.

"Hey, what should I say to the spider?" Bertha asks. What SHOULD she say?

Stuff like; what do you want, can we just pass though, please don't bite us with your hallucinogenic venom.

>>4upvoye this... by any chance, is it the same spider we met at the beginning?

>>409442
Am I drunk?

Bertha 2012/05/07(Mon)15:01 No. 409453 ID: 0d2bec
File 133642810163.png - (28.23KB , 1168x583 , 117.png )

>>409432

What do you want? Can we pass?

Don't you recognize me? I want my bowl of sugar water.

Oh, hey! How are you, spider?

Pretty okay, except for the insane lack of flies that's currently plaguing my pallet. About that...

Aww man. What should I tell him? I haven't even found a bowl to use yet.

>>409453
Ask him where a kitchen is. Explain that as it is, you can't get back to the only place you knew your way around.

"in case you didn't notice the door is kinda broke so we couldn't get to the kitchen for the stuff, know what way that is?"

Bertha 2012/05/08(Tue)04:34 No. 409707 ID: 0d2bec
File 133647684725.png - (28.37KB , 1168x583 , 118.png )

>>409454
>>409455

Sorry spider, but I don't know how to get to the kitchen from where we are. Care to point us in that direction?

Well, the first step there would be to get through the next room. But I'm not sure you want that.

Why is that?

There's someone in there. They aren't going to be friendly.

Who?

A man. Not the Bossman. That's all I can say for sure.

Does he know how all those intact skeletons got there?

well, what's the next path around the room the man is in?

Bertha 2012/05/09(Wed)08:02 No. 409984 ID: 0d2bec
File 133657575671.png - (73.70KB , 601x583 , 119.png )

Do you know how those skeletons got there?

Perhaps a tiny little spider fell from the ceiling and nipped some travelers on the neck.

Perhaps this bite threw their minds into feverish, bed-wetting nightmares.

Perhaps this nightmare allowed the spider to, over the course of several days, suck out all the nutrients their slowly rotting bodies could provide.

Perhaps years have passed since then, and the remains have all rotted to nothing.

Maybe this spider was really, really hungry that day. I know some hungry spiders.

I'm one of them.

Or maybe the dude in the next room dumped them here.

He's... Making a laughing noise. How the fuck does a spider know how to laugh? I'm going to refrain from telling Garth that little tale. He looks freaked out enough as it is.

Is there a way around the room?

None that I'm aware of, though surely you've seen another way on your travels.

If we go into the next room, are there other exits?

Yes. Let's talk about that when we get there, shall we?

>>409984
Right. Onwards.

>>409984
This fellow sound on the level, let ask him (or her, I don't know how to tell a spiders gender) if he would like to join us? He gets full rights on any flys we find.

Bertha 2012/05/09(Wed)09:24 No. 410006 ID: 0d2bec
File 133658064004.png - (28.65KB , 1168x583 , 120.png )

>>409998

By any chance, would you like to help us clear this place out? You'd get dibs on flies and other edibles.

HA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAEHEHEHAAHHA

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Garth 2012/05/09(Wed)09:34 No. 410011 ID: 0d2bec
File 133658126146.png - (27.78KB , 1168x583 , 122.png )

THAT THING MOVES FAST WHY DO THESE SPIDERS MOVE SO FAST AAAAAAAAAGH.

AM I CRYING I'M CRYING SHIT.

IT'S RETREATING INTO THAT LITTLE CUBBYHOLE THING.

TAKE THAT, SPIDER.

"We should move on ahead, Garth. Apparently, there's a guy in the next room over that seems hostile, according to the spider."

"O-okay. How can we prepare before we go in?"

Bone club.

At least it did not bite us. Lets see if one of the leg bones makes a good club and then go though the door

Really you would probably be better off with a rock than with a bone. Dried out bones are quite lightweight.
You should, however, scatter the bones of those skeletons a bit, in case someone tries to animate them later.

Raid 2012/05/09(Wed)14:37 No. 410054 ID: 0d2bec
File 133659945958.png - (20.36KB , 601x583 , 124.png )

Bones tumble around the chamber, clacking against the stone-hewn walls like oh-so-many macabre dice.

Raid 2012/05/09(Wed)14:38 No. 410055 ID: 0d2bec
File 133659950233.png - (13.53KB , 601x583 , 125.png )

The door stands before them, unopened. A sickly navy light leaks between the cracks and the portal.

Open the door?

>>410055
It's either that or wait for a bit to make sure you're healed enough to use gravity magic again.

...maybe that would be a good idea.

Wait, wait. Wait.

Dude, wait. Hang on. Dude.

You have gravity magic. you're trapped on a floating island.

Dude just wait until you heal up and then jump off the side.

Raid 2012/05/09(Wed)17:26 No. 410104 ID: 0d2bec
File 133660960254.png - (13.04KB , 587x583 , 126.png )

>>410083

That's a good idea. Damn. And we had such good dramatic tension there.

>>410091

It's been suggested. I'm not yet strong enough to do that yet, but I will once I can. Can't wait to be free of this weird, stupid, dumb island for assholes.

AND NOW THE WAIT BEGINS

Garth 2012/05/09(Wed)18:03 No. 410111 ID: 0d2bec
File 133661182809.png - (26.73KB , 1168x583 , 128.png )

Feels good! Nice and healed.

Garth 2012/05/09(Wed)18:22 No. 410122 ID: 0d2bec
File 133661297259.png - (26.06KB , 1168x583 , 129.png )

"I'm kind of nervous about this," I say, lifting up my shiny new bone mace. The light from beneath the door went out a while ago, but I still hear occasional scuffling past the threshold.

"I'm not," Bertha replies, cracking her knuckles. "Whatever's back there probably won't be expecting us to come in there and beat the crap out of it. There's not gonna be another swarm of vicious, poisonous spiders back there. It's probably some dumb minions, and we can handle those."

I nod slowly, but I'm not convinced.

Oh well. Time to go through?

i guess. can't really think of much else.

Garth 2012/05/09(Wed)19:46 No. 410142 ID: 0d2bec
File 133661801347.png - (39.15KB , 1206x583 , 130.png )

"Hey! Peons! Get out of our way before I introduce your own fists to your quivering-"

"Shut up."

Holy shit. What is Bertha doing?

"Wait, wait, wait," I start. But, uh, I don't know what to say. Gimme a hand here! Or preach some sense to Bertha!

launch table corpse at dude.

Ask if he will excuse you; you companion is not acting like herself. Ask if he is storing spirits in the are that might interfere with a telepath.

Garth 2012/05/09(Wed)20:34 No. 410155 ID: 0d2bec
File 133662084613.png - (39.93KB , 1206x583 , 131.png )

>>410146
No, wait, we don't even know if he's hostile yet!

>>410148

"Excuse us, my companion isn't being herself right-"

"Don't tell ME to shut up, you body-defiling scum-whore!"

And now she's on the table. I think she heard the 'throw table corpse' guy and is about to take the advice to heart.

This is not good. This is not good.

just help the girl and stop talking. this guy seems to be too late anyway. use gravity on knife on table behind him and fling it towards him.

Ask him if he can remove whatever is helping your colleague, but help Bertha fight if he starts casting without saying anything or otherwise attacks.

>>410157
why d you think bertha is anything more then really mad and ready to fight?

>>410159
Oh wait, I am confused as to who is talking. I thought she was talking to herself.

>>410161
the bold letters are the other guy

Garth 2012/05/11(Fri)17:50 No. 410560 ID: 0d2bec
File 133678385999.png - (41.37KB , 1206x583 , 132.png )

>>410156
No! I am not going to randomly kill some guy! I mean, granted, he's doing something weird to a corpse and

GODDAMMIT SHE KICKED IT AT HIM. I am grabbing her by the hair and getting her back to some common sense.

"Bertha! Why are you so mad at this dude?"

Garth 2012/05/11(Fri)17:51 No. 410561 ID: 0d2bec
File 133678391065.png - (38.13KB , 1206x583 , 133.png )

"Because he's a fucking corpse-defiler! He's a necromancer!"

I blink.

"So?!"

Garth 2012/05/11(Fri)17:52 No. 410562 ID: 0d2bec
File 133678395904.png - (38.37KB , 1206x583 , 134.png )

Oh, goddammit.

>>410562

Let her go, help her capture this dude. Maybe not kill, but capture and restrain.

necromancers always need more corpses. and yours will do nicely. jesus. seriously. you are in the lair of a evil dude. 99% sure everyone is evil.

Your wound was healed by that potion, right? If so, use grav magic to flip the table (the side facing necro-guy going upwards, so it doesn't fling Bertha into his line of fire).

>>410570
Everyone such as, say, the two ex-minions who are currently trying to leave the island?

>>410572
they weren't real minions. they were a sacrifice to the spiders. this guy has obviously been here for a while.

Garth 2012/05/12(Sat)14:07 No. 410809 ID: 0d2bec
File 133685682612.png - (40.38KB , 1206x583 , 135.png )

>>410568
>>410572

Okay. Seems like a good idea at this particular juncture.

Bertha is yelling her head off at me.

"How the fuck can you sit there and defend one of them of all things?!"

"Can we discuss this later?"

Okay. What now?

NOW fling the stuff on the other table at him.

>>410809
say to her you are defending her

Say we probably won't get off this island by fighting every single sinister robed individual we see.

Garth 2012/05/12(Sat)16:39 No. 410911 ID: 0d2bec
File 133686598974.png - (18.89KB , 683x613 , 136.png )

>>410811
>>410813
"We won't get off this island if we have to stop to kill every ugly looking bad guy in the way!"

"Well, what about the ones that are actively trying to murder us? You gonna politely walk past this son of a whore? Compliment him on his necromantic prowess? Maybe help him kill us?"

"I'm trying to help YOU!"

Garth 2012/05/12(Sat)16:40 No. 410912 ID: 0d2bec
File 133686600558.png - (22.40KB , 683x613 , 137.png )

"Fine. Fine! You want me to help?"

Garth 2012/05/12(Sat)16:41 No. 410913 ID: 0d2bec
File 133686606699.png - (21.19KB , 683x613 , 138.png )

>>410810

Garth 2012/05/12(Sat)16:41 No. 410914 ID: 0d2bec
File 133686608518.png - (21.06KB , 682x613 , 139.png )

C'mon, ugly.

Let's dance.

throw something in the way of his magic beam. that potion should work. and keep pulling on the knife, make it dig into him.

Garth 2012/05/12(Sat)19:25 No. 410990 ID: 0d2bec
File 133687593623.png - (42.90KB , 1206x583 , 140.png )

"Well, good! Nice to see you've finally stepped up to the plate!"

>>410949

He hasn't cast anything yet except for that spell he used on the corpse. It's crawling towards us now.

I drive the knife deeper into his side. He doesn't flinch again.

You can give Bertha some ideas too, just saying!

Bertha: Push the table to the side (towards where the necromancer is aiming), and launch an ice spike from the other side.

bertha fast freeze the blood in the corpse, should stop it.

Bertha 2012/05/12(Sat)20:44 No. 411017 ID: 0d2bec
File 133688064246.png - (40.04KB , 1206x583 , 141.png )

>>411006

Good call. Wouldn't want Garth to get zombified.

Potion from behind~

ICY DEATH FROM THE FRONT

"Now was that really necess"

Bertha 2012/05/12(Sat)20:44 No. 411018 ID: 0d2bec
File 133688066667.png - (40.02KB , 1206x583 , 142.png )

"-hrk"

did you peg him in the nards?

>>411018
You know, I've been thinking. Gravity magic isn't much different than telekinesis, is it?

Maybe we should make with the melee combat now.

Garth 2012/05/13(Sun)12:20 No. 411268 ID: 0d2bec
File 133693683566.png - (41.84KB , 1206x583 , 143.png )

>>411235
It can also be used to modify the density of certain materials, such as this here chunk of bone.

can you make him heavier

watch out. his aura is getting thick. may be charging up a area attack

Don't strike the aura. Strike the ice.

Garth 2012/05/13(Sun)13:55 No. 411298 ID: 0d2bec
File 133694254122.gif - (42.38KB , 555x518 , 144.gif )

-animated-

>>411298
...why'd you step in so close? Jeez. Half the point of having a weapon is that you have a greater reach. Back away and try to gauge how badly he hurt you.

>>411298
make it's body so heavy it's own weight will kill him