Murderous Testaments sounds promising. Your sorrow/grief/regret is not promising. Why shouldn't we fall into the hands of the barbarians who actually seem to share interests with us, e.g. mass murder and suchlike?

Our only mission objective is to keep us out of barbarian hands? That's easy. Destroy us. Game over, we win, no flag left to be captured, neener neener.

...oh wait, we need to keep you safe too? Hmph.

I suppose then the logical thing to do is flee.

>>437950
lol
Let's be nice, though.

Tell us everything you know about the barbarians and everything you know about your own forces. We need intel if we're gonna get you to safety. We'll also need intel if we're gonna screw you over.

GIVE US INFO, MAN. Who is attacking, where are you, and what can you do?

Also you're an elf, so hide in some trees. Though those might be burning down pretty quickly, so that might not be a good idea. I guess you can just keep running, if you're sure you can outrun them.

>>437954
Also, your name?

I'm hoping Ildmir Dolmeri III turns out to be one of the barbarians.

There's someone tracking you? You know any safe place to rest and gather supplies? What's your destination?

AveGaruda 2012/07/31(Tue)21:30 No. 437994 ID: af3431
File 134379545058.png - (396.09KB , 700x700 , elf2.png )

I just left the village, or where the village used to be now. My name is Wynd and we were being raided by-

CRUNCH

Well that was quick. I warned you to destroy us when you had the chance, if you really wanted us out of your enemies' hands.

Welp, Wynd is dead. Long live... who are you, new owner?

>>437995
This is wonderful!

Please tell me you want to murder people. Lots of people. I'll be only too happy to help. There're others in here, though.

Oh man, I hope we have a classy barbarian. Nothing beats slaughtering all who opposes us while sipping a fine vintage and sampling the local fair.

...this is gonna be so awkward now if the Elf somehow pulls through. d_d

AveGaruda 2012/08/01(Wed)10:17 No. 438084 ID: af3431
File 134384143793.png - (196.06KB , 700x700 , bigbad1.png )

Hee Hee Hee

AveGaruda 2012/08/01(Wed)10:18 No. 438085 ID: af3431
File 134384148638.png - (303.16KB , 700x700 , bigbad2.png )

Elf go smashy smashy. Now BigBad get shiny rock. That teach elf try run from BigBad.

'Sup, laughing dude. We're a talking shiny rock, actually.

>>437997
Repeating this. Although you seem to be named BigBad.

man, you're one ugly motherfucker.

So, you are this-
[checks notes]
'Barber Hans' I presume?

Yes, I'm pretty sure that's what he said. Now you specialize in 'close shaves' I think?

>>438085
Please tell me you have a better name than BigBad.

>>438099
It's a step up from "spell-i-as-y-and-c-as-k" elfy names.

Do us a favor and break the rock.

AveGaruda 2012/08/01(Wed)16:17 No. 438190 ID: af3431
File 134386302780.png - (226.86KB , 700x700 , bigbad3.png )

Yeah, me BigBad. Me can crush little rock like puny elf face too. Me no need shiny rock say bad things while me look for shiny magic rock for BossBoss.

AveGaruda 2012/08/01(Wed)16:18 No. 438191 ID: af3431
File 134386311157.png - (215.52KB , 700x700 , bigbad4.png )

Wait... BossBoss say find shiny magic rock. You shiny rock can talk. Me not know other rock can talk...

Shiny rock, is you magic? Is you shiny rock BossBoss want?

This is the point where if we cared about keeping ourselves out of the evil guy's hands, we'd convince the idiot here to smash us.
>Shiny rock, is you magic? Is you shiny rock BossBoss want?
Probably.

You can always smash us later if it turns out we're the wrong shiny magic talking rock. But how many of those can there be?

Nah the stone is just quartz... we're just using it because quartz is an excellent medium for ghosts.

I dunno! Maybe!

Who is your bossman, BigBad?

>>438191
Yes, we're an extra special magic thing. Your boss will LOVE us, trust me.

Yes, we are a very magical shiny rock full of voices. We tend to help out people... except for that elf. Guy had it coming.

> Me can crush little rock like puny elf face too.
Please, do.

Hey big guy, how would you like even more shiny rocks? All the shiny rocks in the whole world even. Just tap BossBoss on the head a couple of times and strike out on your own. Just imagine what we could do big fella, you with your big arms and us with our good ideas and dramatic timing.

Why does everyone want the rock smashed seriously. anyway bring the rock to your boss or keep it hidden and kill him in his sleep so you can take over

How are we supposed to know which rock BossBoss wants? He told you to find it, not us!

maybe we are, maybe we aren't. if you destroy us, you'll never know.

>>438221
Because when we become smashed we turn into magic dust, and when that gets into the water supply we will be unstoppable! MUAHAHAHAHA!

AveGaruda 2012/08/02(Thu)06:12 No. 438332 ID: af3431
File 134391312083.png - (184.60KB , 700x700 , start2filename.png )

Hmmm... If BossBoss want shiny rock, rock must be for being strong. Me have idea. Me take shiny rock to BossBoss. Shiny rock not right rock, me smash shiny rock. Shiny rock right rock, me give to BossBoss. Then me kill BossBoss when sleep, make BigBad BigBossBad. Is good?

Sure, sounds like a plan.

And if we decide we like him more than you, we'll warn him and get you killed instead.

...this just became cursed item that gets all its owners killed quest, didn't it.

>>438334
i like the way you think.

Such ambition! Go for it.

>>438334
What do you mean, just? I'm almost certain we're Ildmir Dolmeri III somehow.

maybe, let's see this bossman dude.

>>438334
this must become our purpose.

So, big guy, where are we going? Im sure you can tell us something about the area, right?

AveGaruda 2012/08/04(Sat)14:47 No. 439317 ID: af3431
File 134411684638.png - (148.08KB , 700x700 , overlook.png )

Me just leaving big tree place where we raid elf village. Tree place next to plains area. BossBoss tell us burn everything to ground to make room. We happy to help. That camp down there. Big tent for BossBoss. Next big tent for BossBoss tell leaders like BigBad what do. Other small tent for food make and for BossBoss talk people not here.

AveGaruda 2012/08/04(Sat)14:48 No. 439318 ID: af3431
File 134411691768.png - (294.31KB , 700x700 , openwide.png )

Me show shiny rock to BossBoss. BossBoss only be BigBoss because me not kill him yet. BigBad much stronger than BossBoss.

Obviously you need to go to the middle tent!

AveGaruda 2012/08/04(Sat)14:51 No. 439321 ID: af3431
File 134411711791.png - (363.64KB , 700x700 , thereheis.png )

BOSSBOSS ME FIND SHINY ROCK. MAKE TALK. YOU WANT?

I'm right here BigBad, there's no need to yell. You say you've found the stone? Let me see it then.

Hello, my brute friend here informs me you may be the Guidance Stone I've been seeking. Care to chime in and verify your authenticity?

Maybe? I honestly have no idea, but that elf fellow sure didn't seem like he wanted us to meet you. Speaking of which, nice to meet you! :D

you seem much more eloquent then your friend.

Big Bad intends to kill you, you should kill him first

My, aren't you dashing.

>>439321
Nice hair. So what's your deal? Why go through all the trouble to get a rock full of dubious advice?

Well hello there~ finally we have a classy gentleman for once!

So, what do you require of us? I heard from your soldier that you were clearing away elven woods and killing them off horribly. I'd be MORE than happy to help there.

We can verify we're a talking magic voice with multiple personalities. And than an elf died explicitly trying to keep us from your hands. So yes, we're probably what you're looking for.

Dum-Dum there thinks he's going to come back tonight and kill you in your sleep. I suggest you have him put to death first.

...and that's two down. Now for number 3.

Let's formulate plans to kill'em, but hold off until we are sure we can secure a new carrier more intelligent than BigBad. I mean, can you imagine if all we've got to work with/murderize are dumb grunts? YUCK!

Put the big guy back on I still think we can do more horrible things with him than you Horny.

>>439348
Sounds reasonable.

kiss my shiny crystalline ass!

AveGaruda 2012/08/06(Mon)20:07 No. 439937 ID: af3431
File 134430885757.png - (254.24KB , 700x700 , whyisthisupdatetakingsolong.png )

Sigh...
Another would-be revolutionary, you say? That is a shame, BigBad had the longest run before getting these stupid ideas. But I suppose that's just how these Ursaps work. I will return you to him in hopes you can convince him not to try his little coup. Chances are, however, I'll have to find a new leader for these imbeciles.

Before I do that, though, I suppose an introduction is in order. You appear to be the Guidance Stone of lore, although some of you voices are quite rude. For those of you with the proper demeanor befitting those of legend, you have a good eye. I am in fact, quite the gentleman. Ildmir Dolmeri the Third, in the flesh. And you are here to assist me in spreading my influence throughout the land.

Gonna continue this update tomorrow, feel free to pose any questions to Ildmir in the meantime.

Proper guidance requires perspective. We gain that perspective though our multiplicity. Unfortunately, this necessitates differing perspectives on manners and respect as well. If you wish to make full use of us, you will have to learn to tolerate this.

>And you are here to assist me in spreading my influence throughout the land.
Please, explain your position, if you would. Your current situation, your past, your motivations and goals. What do you want us to help you accomplish, and why?

Okay, secret planning time guys. Do we try to get him killed in the biggest, most disastrous way possible, causing vast destruction across to the land he seeks to conquer? Or do we just side with him, and help him conquer lands and case vast destruction. Cursed item or evil item.

I vote for both. Help him conquer the lands in such a way that things will fall apart when he dies, and then get him killed in a biiiiiiiiiig way. Cursed Evil item.

>>439937
Then I feel it only right to tell you we seem to be fated to guide you. We shall do our best.

On we go to the big lug, then.

you guys are dumb, planning out being dicks is a great way to make the author ignore you

yeah dude. sure. now, was killing the elves NECESSARY. by which i mean, was enslavement possible?

That's kind of a metagamey attitude. And it's a quest about a murderous conqueror. I would think deciding whether we want to play along and/or betray him is fair game.

You Sir, fit my sort of tastes. Very well, this voice will give you a hand. Why don't you give us an explanation of what you are doing, how well things are going and what you require aid in? We work best when we have all the required information.

So, what forces, territory, neighbors, allies, enemies, and personal abilities do you currently posses, and are there any you seek to posses aside from power in general?

> And you are here to assist me in spreading my influence throughout the land.
Everything you want, darling!~

Now, before we go back to that brute, care to update us on the current political situation? Many thanks!~

By the way, take care not to let us linger too long in the hands of the Ursap.
You see, one of our more subtle abilities is to bestow the ARMOR OF FATE on those who we guide for long enough. While this blessing does not manifest as any overt effects and conceals itself from conventional means of detection, it makes itself apparent over time through the user's vastly enhanced ability to repeatedly evade death and often prevail in the face of even the most overwhelming odds.
It would be rather... unfortunate if this blessing were granted to a buffoon who you already hope to be rid of sooner or later.

Because while that statement is actually kind of true in a meta sense, it is also exactly what a cursed item would want to tell him. Convincing him he can't die can lead to all sorts of possibilities~

Yeah, let's NOT try to kill this guy off. Seriously, what the hell? First decent gentleman in a while and you want to kill him off already.

AveGaruda 2012/08/07(Tue)19:31 No. 440300 ID: af3431
File 134439307609.png - (258.59KB , 700x700 , mapmapmap.png )

I can tell you only what little I know of this area. This map details the entire region I have so far explored. The red X marks where I first entered this realm. I managed to recruit the nomadic Ursaps that were currently living in the fields here, near the axe symbol. I suppose I was a bit uncomfortable at first in this land, which is why I had most of the field torched to a charred landscape. In addition to the twenty or so Ursaps, I gathered a few Rictocs in the mountains near the claw symbol. The flames in the forest represent the nearby elf villages we have been pillaging in search of you, Guidance Stone.

You see, I am a Cythraul. My people are commonly seen as demons, and occasionally revered as gods. Our live cycles last many millenia, and when they end, we are reborn on another plain of reality already of age. We are free to live as we please, but we all have an innate urge to find you the Guidance Stone of lore, for it is said that it will lead us to glory in the annals of history. That is really all we know on the matter.

I honestly did not expect to find you so soon. Even though that goal is completed, I see no reason to stop spreading my control. The elves were killed, rather than enslaved because they frankly serve no useful purpose. They have no extraordinary abilities, unless you count obnoxious environmentalism. Therefore there was no need to add them to my troop ranks.

AveGaruda 2012/08/07(Tue)19:36 No. 440303 ID: af3431
File 134439340311.png - (161.48KB , 700x700 , returnofthebigbad.png )

Your so-called "Armour of Fate" is certainly something I will keep in mind, but for now I will return you to BigBad. Remember, you are to convince him not to try anything stupid. Should you fail, however, it is not too much of an issue. I have plenty enough troops that he will not be missed.

"BigBad, you may hold onto the Stone for now. Good work finding it, we will have to celebrate next time we find a village to raid."

Me do good? Of course, me BigBad! BigBad best at everything, even finding rocks! Me so good, me get to hold onto shiny rock. Good, right shiny rock?

"Oh, and BigBad, try to behave yourself in the near future. No funny business, yes?"

Later that night AveGaruda 2012/08/07(Tue)19:38 No. 440306 ID: af3431
File 134439350140.png - (107.31KB , 700x700 , sleepytime.png )

Okay, me see BossBoss sleeping. Me kill now, yes? Then me be BigBadBoss?

no, he's got MAGICS that keep him safe, when he held us we saw them. your axe will bounce off, you'll need to find a magic destroyer first so you can break the magic.

Well gee this guy with the horns is technically immortal. Do you know any big holes we could trap Horns down inside big guy? Failing that do you know any really magic or shiny people who seal people like BossBoss into tiny containers?

No no there's a RITUAL you have to do before you kill him in order to get all the boss powers.

Lesse, first you need to use a knife no longer than six inches to carve the word BOSS into your wrist, and drop the blood over the BIG boss.

What's the next step to break his magic armor, guys?

>>440306
Leap onto the bed crush him with your weight

Remember to shout his name while doing so.

I was thinking of cycle hosts as fast as possible, but if you guys want to stick around Gentledemon for a while I guess we can do that.

No no no. Bossboss is in bed. Now is not the time for violence. Now is the time for... seduction.

Get your sexy on, BigBad.

I wonder if this is really worth the trouble. It's a thankless and restless job, full with parasites and idiots trying to kill you. Besides, he seems to be a really good boss. Anyway, get closer. He fascinates me, I want to see his sleeping face before you decide to do anything.

>>440306
Hey BigBad, how many times have people tried to kill him in his sleep before?

AveGaruda 2012/08/09(Thu)19:52 No. 441121 ID: af3431
File 134456715587.png - (218.85KB , 700x700 , makeupyourmind.png )

[small[What you mean no kill now? Richooul? See-duk-shun? Magic? You mean he shiny like you? Shiny rock need make up mind. Me not have time for rock say dumb things. Me know there three other try kill BossBoss before. They gone now. But they weak, not strong like BigBad.[/small]

>>441121
Did they even manage to injure him?

...hey, you think maybe if three people tried to kill him in his sleep, he stays awake and waits for someone to try again?

If people tried to kill you in your sleep, wouldn't you stay awake and wait?

How things were before BossBoss?

quick don't hesitate leap upon him and crush his tiny form you are big and strong he is no match for you BigBad

If you're stronger than your boss... why didn't you build an army such as this before he arrived?

1/3 AveGaruda 2012/08/11(Sat)22:21 No. 442042 ID: af3431
File 134474886489.png - (262.55KB , 700x700 , aswinganda.png )

Now not time for talk! Now time for killing! Even if BossBoss awake no way he can avoid axe!

SWING

CRUNCH

2/3 AveGaruda 2012/08/11(Sat)22:22 No. 442043 ID: af3431
File 134474893862.png - (237.35KB , 700x700 , surprisemotherfucker.png )

This not BossBoss. This squishy puny elf. That mean...

That means you shoulda listened to us, he outfoxed you.

3/3 AveGaruda 2012/08/11(Sat)22:25 No. 442045 ID: af3431
File 134474914617.png - (187.61KB , 700x700 , yadungoofd.png )

Uh...

YYsagdrilNow, BigBad, I'm sure there's some completely understandable reason for this. I would very much like to know what it is. You have three. Seconds.Morgothnasi

Also I started a disthread without realizing one was made already. Henceforth, it shall be the official disthread >>58143

Nice knowing you big guy. Only thing left now is the make the silliest expression you can on your face before BossBoss does horrible things to you.

Welp. We got the elf killed twice, and bigbad too. Not bad.

>good reason
Yeah... I got nothing. Sorry. Thanks for the lights show you're about to provide.

maxim of war, when strong appear weak, when weak appear strong. boss boss is much much more powerful then he let's on. only hope is to bluff. turn around and say "well that's more like it, i couldn't respect someone that could die so easily, if you can best me in a fight you will have secured both my respect and loyalty"

it's true though right bigbad? if he can beat you in a fight then that means he is the strongest. and this way if he is strong enough he will simply beat you instead of kill you.

Tell him you're dumb. That is your only excuse.

We thought it would be funny. So far, so good!

tell him the truth. it's not like you can come up with a lie in three seconds, so if you're gonna die, you shouldn't die a liar.

Oh dear. Well you can't say you weren't warned.

Now a reason: It's Ursap nature. Tell him this. Then grovel. Claim you couldn't realise how strong he was until this moment. Grovel some more. Claim the other Ursaps would have tried to kill hin earlier. Blame your parents. Grovel your heart out. Beg for mercy. Cry a lot.

Tell him that you did it because THROWN AXE TO THE FACE.

1/3 AveGaruda 2012/08/13(Mon)20:26 No. 442672 ID: af3431
File 134491478430.png - (181.73KB , 700x700 , derp.png )

Me dumb...funny-no respectnatureaxe?

I thought not...

AveGaruda 2012/08/13(Mon)20:27 No. 442673 ID: af3431
File 134491485534.png - (334.31KB , 700x700 , prettylights.png )

FWOOM

3/3 AveGaruda 2012/08/13(Mon)20:29 No. 442677 ID: af3431
File 134491499440.png - (226.09KB , 700x700 , naughtynaughty.png )

And what might your excuse be, O Guidance Stone of apparently no use whatsoever?

We can only advise. If the person decides not to take it then theres nothing else we can do. Destroy the stone if you want. We'll pick another vessal eventually.

Honestly? We didn't really care if he lived or died. Hell, I was kind of hoping we'd get a light show out of it.

Besides, we're only really any good to someone intelligent enough to actually listen to us, and parse our conflicting suggestions into useful perspective.

he really is dumb. we tried to talk him down but he was like "it no time for talk it time for action!" didn't help we apparently turned off right when you handed us over and only woke up right before he attacked. so we only had a limited time to try and convince him rather then a few hours.

One less revolutionary for you to worry about. You can thank us later.

>>442683

Also, you really should be grateful that all we can do is advise, or your purity would not be intact.

>>442677
He was an idiot. I tried to get him to see the facts but he just went ahead and did it anyway.

1) It was hilarious
2) We figured you had a contingency plan, since you said it was also fine if we DIDN'T stop his pathetic attempt
2a) If you DIDN'T have a contingency plan for something like this then you would have proven yourself unworthy, and we would have continued to get our kicks by having our hosts die in amusing ways.
3) Now we can get our kicks by having you kill people in amusing ways!
3a) I guess we can help you with your plans too, or whatever. :D

I could talk about how it was for the best that he died now rather than live to spread his idiocy to any of the others, and I wouldn't be lying.

But really? I just plain like watching fools burn. I'm sure a gentleman of your stature can empathize.

You're only going to experience minor inconvenience if you get killed anyways. You can expect more of this if you don't keep your hands on us. I mean we can't even be trusted with plants, animals, and minerals. Just hold onto us if you're uncomfortable with being killed in your sleep by a mollusc.

Honestly? We are not exactly the most cohesive of spirits. We help whom we like and we punish who we don't and that varies from voice to voice. I myself prefer you over the hippies and the oaf. Best method to do so is very simply keeping us on you. We cannot advise your enemies if we are with you and any negative advice can easily be deduced and ignore or avoided.

Think of us like a large collective of voices. Some of us are quite smart and effective at what we do, but expect the... 'fun' voices to speak up every so often... that and we have a tendency to reform one way or another. We are persistent like that.

nothing. feel free to destroy us. but you won't, really, will you?

Well could you have taught him to grovel properly in three seconds flat?

Beyond that, he was babbling about seduction by the time I got here, I doubt he'd have listened to anything at that point.

Enough, no further dramatization is required. This event proved our willingness to serve your cause and I'm already convinced of your abilities.

AveGaruda 2012/08/15(Wed)21:25 No. 443701 ID: af3431
File 134509115639.png - (225.54KB , 700x700 , changan.png )

You know, you are quite inconvenient like this...

CRICK
CRACK

Finally.

AveGaruda 2012/08/15(Wed)21:27 No. 443703 ID: af3431
File 134509124149.png - (169.77KB , 700x700 , grabban.png )

I will have to keep you with me from now on, it seems. And if I am to do that, you must be less...unwieldy.

Sweet. New form. Hopefully something cool and functional. Please be a weapon.

... K.

The hell are you doing to us, bro?

AveGaruda 2012/08/15(Wed)21:30 No. 443706 ID: af3431
File 134509143189.png - (133.48KB , 700x700 , istone4.png )

Hence, this shall be your new form. You will be with me at all, if not most times, seeing as you have little effect on those of slower wit. It remains to be seen if you are actually of use to me in my endeavors. I will have to deal with this mess, as well as addressing the troops in the morning, but until then feel free to field any questions you may still have.

So... we're a slightly smaller more stylish rock?

I was so hoping for a crystal sword, but I guess you could still ninja star us into someone's eye.

>usefulness
Hey, you're the one with the strange racial compulsion to seek us out. This relationship is on you, babe.

You seem to have the locals dealt with for now, so lets talk long term plans.
Specifically, what do you plan to do about the rest of your people? I somehow doubt that your possession of us will stop the others from trying to obtain us.

Well, at least we are fashionable now. Considering you are quite powerful, the main concern would be threats.

Are there any groups or beings that you have to be watchful for? I'm sure you can handle any lout who can't figure out 2 plus 2, but surely there is something that is stopping you from simply steam rolling the entire world.

Even if it's something you do not expect to face, it would be appreciated to know. Worlds forbid the number of times we've seen some up and coming world ruler get cut down in their prime by some punk kid with a bad hair cut and a oversized sword.

>>443706
You made us into a flowery stickpin? How trite, I suppose we could always tell the next shmuck to 'own us' that we belonged to a little old lady who only wore us out on weekends and holy days. I'm sure the next elf to handle us appreciate the snowflake aesthetic or something.

Now, yes we admit, this pattern has served in company of a deamon or two; the Devil of Iniziare Citta, The Athlhom Demon, That One Rotten Yggdrasil...

However, the main difficulty is that from the start of our memory this pattern has specialized in the banishment or binding of dark entities and the pursuit of freedom, often while aiding an exotic young maiden or idealistic youth or somesuch.

So, what precisely could 'you' require our aid for?

>>443726
Why, yes! Why hold near the very thing that can bind and banish... Why do you guys keep answering your own questions? Furthermore, I will not discuss the importance of advisors, mainly because I take offense on what you said about our new form.

>>443783
Well... I'm not sure. Our morals can be pretty flexible, if our chosen hero's designs are cool enough. Just look at Tory.

Anyway, let's get a layout of your strategic positioning. Who considers you a threat, who can be persuaded we aren't, for the time being, what kind of forces are they fielding, how full's your war chest, what kind of forces are you fielding, etc.

AveGaruda 2012/08/18(Sat)20:47 No. 445049 ID: af3431
File 134534805121.png - (276.45KB , 700x700 , dejavu.png )

I would have you know that you are now a more convenient form for carrying either on the belt, or on a wristband or some such accessory. Although, a weapon may be a better form, we'll have to see.

As you can probably tell, the power I just used takes quite a while to wear off, and the longer I use it, the longer it takes to wear off. The problem with that is, once I enter that mindset, I'm locked into whatever emotion charged it, be it anger, self-preservation, even insanity. This is what prevents me from simply steamrolling the landscape. As for your other questions, I believe I already explained: I have no knowledge of the parties or layout of this realm. Other than the few elf villages we have raided, the Ursaps now firmly under control, and the Rictocs satisfied with their leadership, I have not met or heard of anyone else. My ultimate goal is to find any and all peoples in this land and crush them underfoot.

As for my own kind, I find it hard to imagine another, let alone many others, making it to this same dimension. Each dimension has a Guidance Stone, so it is not as if you are the only one and all of my kind must find you, specifically. However, I know very little more than what I have already told you about my people, because what little knowledge we carry over from our past life is lost very quickly.

uh huh. well try to make a note to write everything down as soon as you appear in the next life.
for now, spells that run on blood. specifically elf blood. round up the rest and sacrifice all of them under a full moon or some such.

Nah.. slaughtering elves for magic might be good for the regular man, but what you want are their last moments to be the most hateful thing ever. Make them experience so much negative experience in those last few moments it twists their spirits into horrifying shades of what they were.

My suggestion? Get the men, tie them to the logs of the biggest trees you can find. Set those logs on fire. Have your men have fun with the women and mess with the children and young. Whisper, taunt, and tease the elven men as they burn of the many ways you will corrupt their children. Turn them from sissy little hippies into your personal assassins. Have them watch the horror of their wives and lovers being used and laugh at their incompetence and weakness.

The women will raise moral for your troops, the children can make excellent soldiers with the proper training, and the men? Well, their souls can make excellent murderous spirits if you bind them properly. Hell, bind them to the kids and make use of that ancestor garble they love and corrupt them quicker. After all, children ARE the future.

A bath and a good night's sleep will do you well, my dear.

>>445070
Horrifying. I'm impressed, sir and/or madam. Maybe we should save some to be servants, however.

If I may suggest a more restrained course of action?

You current minions are little better than barbarians, and know not of the wider world. The elves are more settled, peaceful, educated. You could pull details of the wider world from prisoners, or possibly books or records in their villages.

AveGaruda 2012/08/21(Tue)19:22 No. 446125 ID: af3431
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That is... actually a good idea. Binding the souls of the slaughtered to the youths is certainly within my power, and a team of small assassins for reconnaissance and stealth missions could come in handy. Unfortunately, the three elf villages we have found have already been... dealt with. If we are to gather elf minions, we will need to search in some new direction. I'll leave that for you to decide, with reference to the map I showed earlier.

there we go, see this is why your people look for us, we help you guys with things you wouldn't even think of. also there should be more then three villages. perhaps an envoy has already gone to a different race for help or something.

So do you have any other weaknesses we should know about? Any hobbies other than elf killing?

>>446143
Well, aside from elf kindling and every-other-living-thing killing.

By the way, what is the significance of that vaguely arrow-like mark that appeared on your forehead?

Pity about the one-per-world thing. Setting him against the rest of his people would be a perfect way to find out how to do our evil duty to kill him, and would generally be win-win.

It's only a sample size of three, but the northernmost and southernmost villages look to be roughly the same difference away from the westernmost village. And the villages appear to be curving around your domain.

So.. I suggest starting the search in the unexplored region to the south of the axe mark, that looks to be about where a village should be. Another possibilty is the unexplored region in the bottom left corner of the map, that area is far enough away from the burned villages for a settlement to be present. And there is a spot in that corner that is about the same distance from two of the villages as they are from each other.

The other voices are likely correct. If they follow a pattern in their placement as it seems here, then that southern bit likely has a village or two.

You could try taunting them. Slash at a few trees, start a little forest fire, toss some elf bits around, and maybe some 'fun' stuff and you can likely lure them out a bit.

Incidentally, I recommend using some of the trees you cut down for siege towers, siege weaponry, and basic fortifications. Unless the elves in this work are decent with nature magic, this can provide handy cover. Heck, even if they are good at it, charring and 'killing' the wood may prevent them from doing things to them.

AveGaruda 2012/08/23(Thu)18:52 No. 446708 ID: af3431
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What you see is my Seal. It is the channel through which I use my power. Were it to come to significant harm, my strength would be seriously diminished. Aside from that, I have no extraordinary weaknesses not present in other beings. Hobbies were not exactly something to focus on while searching for the Guidance Stone, so no, I do not have any hobbies.

AveGaruda 2012/08/23(Thu)18:58 No. 446712 ID: af3431
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The consensus seems to be to explore to the South, correct? That seems as good a decision as any. As for siege equipment, unfortunately we lack the supplies for construction first off, and secondly the Ursaps are nomadic raiders, so the majority of my forces have had no need for siege equipment or defense structures and don't have the expertise to build them in the first place.
If there are no more questions and a plan has been reached, shall we move on to addressing the troops in the morning and moving out?

Posted in the disthread, kind of important so check out >>59045

Addressing the troops now sounds fine.

Since the disc thread is in a different section, its address is >>/questdis/58143

AveGaruda 2012/08/25(Sat)21:12 No. 447706 ID: af3431
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At dawn, I assemble the troops and remind them of their place.

I stand before you with the skull of your deceased ex leader. BigBad felt he was entitled to my position as head of this troupe. Such insubordination is to be expected, but his poorly planned ascent led him to make an attempt on my life. At this point you should recognize how well that turned out for him. In future, I expect complete obedience from each and every one of you. I will address this matter no further.

AveGaruda 2012/08/25(Sat)21:19 No. 447715 ID: af3431
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I appoint the next-in-line warrior, ChipTooth, to be the new leader of the Ursaps. With that handled, We pack up camp and head through the forest to the south.

AveGaruda 2012/08/26(Sun)06:52 No. 447894 ID: af3431
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Uh, Boss? I don't think that was us.

That certainly couldn't be our doing, we've only just explored this area. Should we investigate or avoid that vicinity?

Instigate. Someone is being attacked, and someone else is doing the attacking. That gives you two groups to learn from (or at least of). If there's another military faction nearby, it behooves you to be aware of it. Either they're going to be your enemies, rivals, or you can recruit them.

>>447896
Might want to see if we can swoop in and be saviors or whatever. Might be good for PR.

Looks like a fight, which is excellent. We can now either side with one group or do away with both while they are occupied.

Looks like we have a consensus, my good man.
I do advise you to look into the matter yourself instead of relying on scouts. We can only see in your immediate vincinity and without knowledge we can do nothing to assist you.

Where is the smoke in relation to our intended destination? I'm a bit worried that the elves might see the smoke and run. Anyway, probably best to investigate as long as the diversion isn't too severe.

AveGaruda 2012/08/28(Tue)20:14 No. 448974 ID: af3431
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Hmmm... This town is suspiciously intact for somewhere supposedly under assault. There are no sounds or signs of battle either. However, screams and crackling flames can be heard farther into the village.

AveGaruda 2012/08/28(Tue)20:17 No. 448976 ID: af3431
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...I believe we have reached the source of the disturbance.

Hey, where's your cannon fodder? You went in alone, ahead of your troops?

>one man
Well, either you've got a useful recruit or someone to kill. Let's find out. Approach him.

Looks like another fellow who appreciates the finer points of incineration.

AveGaruda 2012/08/30(Thu)17:13 No. 449763 ID: af3431
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I don't believe I require backup for this one individual and a burning building full of people.

Hello there! I see you appreciate the finer points of incineration as well! Care to explain what exactly you are doing here?

>I don't believe I require backup for this one individual and a burning building full of people.
You didn't know it was one individual and burning building when you decided to go on ahead alone. You took a blind risk, for no reason. Maybe it won't hurt you this time, but those are mistakes that will get you long term.

AveGaruda 2012/08/30(Thu)17:34 No. 449780 ID: af3431
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"Ilais has spoken. These were unworthy. These were extinguished. Ilais will reward us with the lights of these."

ask who Ilais is. the god of this world perhaps? a great leader? and if burning is how they traditionally kill things then you are pretty safe.

Ohhhh... OHHHH~ is that a dark elf I see? Not only that, but a zealous dark elf who just burned an entire village on his own? Now, see this guy? This is a good second in command. He practically did our work before we even got here!

Still, got to wonder if he's the traditional '27 flavors of elf' dark elf or the corrupted elf type? Either way, commend him on his fine elf burning, ask about the god he worships and so forth.

Heck, we could get him in on that 'ultimate elf suffering' plan! After all, why not tack on zealous loyalty on top of our deranged spirit possessed fallen elf children assassins?

Looks like his mouth is sown closed. How's he communicating to you?

I like the look of his fellow. He seems like the type you ought to consort with.

AveGaruda 2012/09/03(Mon)20:09 No. 451524 ID: af3431
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Would Ilais be your lord? Or your god perhaps?

"Ilais speaks to us, for we are the one deemed worthy. Ilais shows us the path. Ilais is the One Who Knows Many Things."

How is it you speak with a sealed mouth?

"We do not speak. We listen. Ilais guides our words to those with whom we must speak."

Would you mind allowing for my personal space? Is there something wrong here?

"Ilais has taken notice of you. You are special. We are told to accompany you. Do you accept?"

sounds powerful. while i don't doubt you could kill this guy, this illais could be a problem if we piss him off, so accept.

Creepy powerful right hand man who serves a creepy evil God? Heyo!

Sign him up. This can't go wrong.

Welcome aboard! We always like getting new teammates!

AveGaruda 2012/09/05(Wed)18:24 No. 452053 ID: af3431
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"This pleases us. We require no shelter or nourishment, our presence will be no burden on your supplies. If you will excuse us, we must complete our mission here, before we join you."

This... Priest as it would seem, walks away and opens a small bag on his belt. The bag glows white, with a variety of flickering colors dancing in the light.

AveGaruda 2012/09/05(Wed)18:29 No. 452056 ID: af3431
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Priest draws near to the flaming wreckage that was once a building full of people. The screams have long since died. He raises a hand to the building, holding open the bag with the other. After a moment, he begins emitting a whispering, chanting sound, more haunting than any I'd heard before. As his chant draws on, a greenish white energy, the same as in his bag, rises from the ashes and clouds together in a large mass of light. Slowly, a tendril of the energy extends itself out to his hand, pooling slightly before being drawn into his bag.

I am no expert, but I believe Priest is somehow harvesting the magic souls of his victims here. If this is true, we have just made a very powerful ally. Or a very risky mistake.

>we have just made a very powerful ally. Or a very risky mistake.
Yeah, we were expecting that as soon as you walked into the village and found it completely murdered by one man jus sitting there.

Oh boy, I absolutely LOVE this guy~ burning down a village, then absorbing the anguishing souls into his soul bag. Sure it lacks a bit of versatility like the child assassin plan, but this is nice in it's own way.

Either way, why don't we help improve our bond with our new companion by going elf hunting and putting that plan into effect? He probably knows where a few villages are and it seems that there is a perimeter of them near the edge of the forest. Of course, if we wish to chance it, going deeper may have actual Elven CITIES which means loot, bodies, souls and children by the bucket loads!

>>452062
don't think we can do any cities yet, we don't have any siege engines and they could just arrow us to death.

We will have to investigate that bag at some point. A stockpile of soul energy could be useful for all sorts of things.

AveGaruda 2012/09/09(Sun)19:01 No. 453121 ID: af3431
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When Priest finishes up, he returns to the group.

Now, Priest, would you happen to know of other elven villages or cities in the area? I have some ideas in mind, that you could perhaps help with, but nevertheless require a village of civilians to slaughter.

"We know of no cities built by the elves, but we have heard say of other villages in the area. Ilais tells us also of new opportunities for slaughter in the south."

It seems we could search the area for more elves to try out that assassin idea, or move south and find what is there. What do you think?

>>453121
Let's get a couple elven kids. The younger and more impressionable the better.

>>453423
Oh yes. Kidnap some elven kids and normal elves, make the kids kill the adults :D

AveGaruda 2012/09/13(Thu)17:59 No. 454381 ID: af3431
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Very well, we shall scout out some elf villages to experiment on. Priest says Ilais will guide us to the nearest village. After some wandering (which, frankly, often felt like going in circles) we come across a village. I ordered the troops to stay some distance away, and moved with Priest to find some children.

We find a small clearing with several children playing games. They are unsupervised. How should we go about this?

Get some of your thugs to grab'em and then pit them one by one [armed] against unarmed, possibly tied up, adult elves in arena style pit-combat. And they don't get food or anything until they kill the adult. That should learn'em, right?

Don't get ahead of yourself yet, chief. Focus on capturing the kids ALIVE, first. Then we can decide what to do with them. If you have any sneakitude at all, I suggest flanking the kids on the other side first, and then revealing your presence to them. If you can use your diplomacy to draw them away from the village and then kidnap them quietly, so much the better for you. If you can't, and they get scared, you will be in between them and the village and you can drive them back into the forest where your men can capture them.

I must insist on stressing the point of capturing as many whole, unmurderlated, children as possible. You have many more options available to you, whatever course you decide to pursue. Alive children can always be made dead, but Dead children are very hard to make alive.

>Nonchalant discussion on murdering kids/using them as child soldiers.

Oh you guys!

Seriously, though, do this: >>454391

indeed. unless you have some currently unknown power to reverse death, it is a one way street. so get as many live ones as you can.

i recommend offering luring the children into your clutches with chicken sandwiches... why? because every kid is suspicious as hell of a stranger with a lollipop, but they wont think twice about a kind gentleman with delicious mouth watering chicken sandwiches...

Getting children is easy enough. So long as you are gentle and don't do something stupid, they should be easy. Make an interesting noise, draw their attention, and wait until one investigates. Snatch that one up, then snatch the other up. Make sure they don't scream by muffling their mouths. Just be gentle. They are children AND elves after all.

The tricky part in my honest opinion is to make them loyal. That's easy enough with magic, but true loyalty lies with them loving you and hating the things you hate. Make them serving you the best things in their eyes. Twist the image of their parents and family into those of captors. Those that stifle them and let them rot here for so many years. Reward them for doing their duty and following their training, but do not punish them in training. After all, if they fail when given their mission, they face the worst kind of punishment.

Besides, something about raising that lime haired boy into a skilled, loyal and intelligent assassin fills me with joy.

>>454474
Oh, good plan.

We should probably mostly keep them seperate from each other in the early stages so they don't remind one another about the good parts of their home, y'know? Or only get one assassin from each settlement so they don't have as much common ground--something like that.