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File 132124424179.png - (45.30KB , 500x500 , hello am great soviet hero.png )
365508 No. 365508 ID: c7b6c2

Здравствуйте! I am great Soviet hero! I am defending Stalingrad from fascist Germans!
382 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 371461 ID: 1854db

>>371457
That's better than you think. Bodies are heavy, and they'd have to shove him out of the way to open the door. So just having him lying right in front of it will help a good amount.

Though I guess if they made a concerted effort they could push him out of the way anyway.
>>
No. 371462 ID: 6a5a08

You ever tried to open a door with a thick rug on the other side?
It gets stuck.
Bodies ought to be even worse.
>>
No. 371486 ID: c71597

>>371457
It's good enough for now. The longer this takes the longer you're out of Vodka, so we better get this done as fast as possible. Now toss in those moltovs and then prepare to fuck them up as they try to get out.
>>
No. 371488 ID: 46c430

But what if it opens inwards instead of outwards?
>>
No. 371491 ID: c71597

>>371488
Then they trip over the body and we add to the pile by shooting them.
>>
No. 371501 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132365795089.png - (18.85KB , 500x500 , sh81.png )
371501

Okay, am throwing molotov!
>>
No. 371503 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132365802483.png - (18.06KB , 500x500 , sh82.png )
371503

>"Oh Scheiße!"
>"AUUUGH IT BURNS! V-VERDAMMT NOCH MAL!"
>"Jakob!"
>"Nein!"
>"Out ze door, now!"
>"Zomeone get a blanket! Or zome vater!"

They are coming through! What should I be doing now?
>>
No. 371510 ID: 616fe9

Receive them with a gracious welcome! By "welcome" I mean "give them additional holes". You have another molotov? Use it.
>>
No. 371518 ID: c7dc56

Save the other molotov for in case they manage to put the first one out. And keep your rifle pointed at the door.
>>
No. 371527 ID: c71597

>>371503
Give them a lemon grenade through the door and then let venerable comrade Mosin Nagant tell them of the historical dialectic, the one that says that their asses are getting handed to them.
>>
No. 371546 ID: 9dfd52

They will put out the fire and then come out. Sneak in through chimney and take them by surprise!
>>
No. 371607 ID: 7bd540

deploy glorious Nagant.
>>
No. 371649 ID: 063c28

Other molotov through the other window now that they're distracted.
>>
No. 371731 ID: 786012

Heh heh heh. We're gonna burn down a house. With lemons. Good old Cave would be so proud.

Actually, if they're trying to exit the house through the door, it seems like an invitation to chuch a grenade in there. For scienceMotherland. You monster.
>>
No. 371792 ID: 6a5a08

Lemonade in the door.
>>
No. 371948 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132375403341.png - (30.90KB , 500x500 , sh83.png )
371948

>grenade through the door
>"Scheiße! Hey, I zhink ze door's jammed-- Iz- iz that a lemon--"
>>
No. 371949 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132375404553.png - (28.58KB , 500x500 , sh84.png )
371949

>THOOM
>>
No. 371950 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132375407989.png - (27.19KB , 500x500 , sh85.png )
371950

>"Scheiße! What the--"
>"Lieber Gott! Christoff just exploded!"
>"Get away from ze vindows! Zomeone is out there!"
>"B-but ze building is burning down!"
>"Juzt ze four of uz left! Jakob can't move!"
>"Augh! Zis-*cough* fucking smoke!"
>>
No. 371975 ID: 33c9a1

Hohoho. Their house's burning down. Really, not much left to do but to wait to shoot anyone who comes out. If they con't come out, they burn anyway.

Though better not to get too complacent. Check for possible exits and find ways to make them unusable.
>>
No. 372060 ID: 0583a2

yeah, pull a Virginia Tech on 'em
>>
No. 372070 ID: 210977

>>372060

too soon, man.
>>
No. 372143 ID: c7dc56

>>371975
You know what's the very last thing the enemy would expect now? For you to jump into the building with them and start fighting with your bayonet.
>>
No. 372192 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132383947175.png - (8.02KB , 500x500 , sh86.png )
372192

>You know what's the very last thing the enemy would expect now? For you to jump into the building with them and start fighting with your bayonet.
>>
No. 372193 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132383948139.png - (23.02KB , 500x500 , sh87.png )
372193

This is best plan!
>>
No. 372224 ID: 30b781

>>372193

Ignore your strange, bent leg and grab handfuls of broken glass to throw into eyes of fascist pigs.
>>
No. 372265 ID: 616fe9

Ask for vodka. Kill them in case of negative response.
>>
No. 372298 ID: 5e0c1b

>>372193
Heh! Can work with that. Seconding the throwing broken glass into their eyes motion. They won't expect that either.
>>
No. 372328 ID: c71597

>>372193
It is time to show them why they should not mess with the Motherland! Show the the shiny steel of your bayonett while you drive it into them!
>>
No. 372400 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132391516960.png - (32.46KB , 500x500 , sh88.png )
372400

>grab handfuls of broken glass to throw into eyes of fascist pigs.
Это хорошо! It is good thing that I am knowing how to handle broken glass!
>>
No. 372401 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132391518202.png - (12.61KB , 500x500 , sh89.png )
372401

>"äh-- Zhere is zomeone in here!"
>"Was?"
>>
No. 372426 ID: c71597

>>372401
He looks like one of the pig dog facists, go rub his face into the broken glass of defeat!
>>
No. 372440 ID: e4003e

>>372401
combine nazi eyes with glass.
>>
No. 372510 ID: 063c28

>>372440
While doing a traditional Russian folk dance to demonstrate your cultural superiority. Bonus points for singing!
>>
No. 372636 ID: fdb32b

First, hire an orchestra. Then get Michal Giacchino to write a score. Then, without saying a word, combine the nazi eyeballs with the glass you have. Make sure there's a lot of hot bass and string action going while you're doing this. Then, make a serious face.
Smash cut to commercial, 113 episodes later, you're rolling in the money.
Bam, Happy end. +100 Quest points.
>>
No. 372768 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132401134285.png - (34.53KB , 500x500 , sh90.png )
372768

>combine nazi eyes with glass.
Done!
>"AAAAARRUGHUGH!"
please to be stopping screaming.
>"Fick!"
>"Shoot him! Shoot him!"
>>
No. 372770 ID: c71597

>>372768
Do a combat roll back out of the door while laughing, then give them another of lives lemons.
>>
No. 372772 ID: 453e62

use nazi as soviet shield!
>>
No. 372843 ID: 477353

Don't forget to look around for any vodka the fascists might have hidden here.
>>
No. 372949 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132409747389.png - (46.98KB , 500x500 , sh91.png )
372949

>use nazi as soviet shield!
Nazi pig is having lot of "shielding"! Other Nazi only fired three shots, but Nazi took two! Is not moving as much now!
>>
No. 372962 ID: 6a5a08

Throw nazi at nazi, shoot gun at gunazi.
>>
No. 372997 ID: c7dc56

Put your elbows on his shoulder and grab his head by the rear ends of the jaw. Then pluck his head off. Follow this with a menacing glare at the others.
>>
No. 373005 ID: 1854db

I advise retreat. You will have to ready your gun before you can fire it and there's one coming up behind you.
>>
No. 373019 ID: c71597

>>372949
Retreat out of the doorway and then throw in another lemon grenade.
>>
No. 373210 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132418720998.png - (32.80KB , 500x500 , sh92.png )
373210

>retreat
Is done! I do not think they are following me out!

>"Fick! Oh, fick!"
>"Vhat did you do?!
>"I didn't mean to do zat!"
>"It doezn't matter now! Help me get Jakob through zis window! Before zis smoke gets us!"
>"B-but zhere could be others out zhere!"

Now that Nazi mentions, smoke is getting thicker! Is worse here than in there! I think fire is spreading, too!

>ready your gun
What weapon am I to be using?
>>
No. 373250 ID: c71597

>>373210
Give them another grenade to distract them, then escape through the window you entered, go around the building and take up position at the window they're planning to escape from. Shoot them down while they're escaping with trusty comrade Mosin Nagant.
>>
No. 373276 ID: c7dc56

Whoa whoa whoa. Comrade have you forgotten the command of comrade Stalin? Did he command for you, in the name of the defense of the motherland from the fascist horde, to retreat when only out numbered by 2 or 3 nazis? Where his words "only a few steps backwards, comrade"?
USE ALL OF YOUR WEAPONS.
>>
No. 373338 ID: f80f15

>>373276
Actually retreat was a completely viable and oft used tactic in Russian warfare.
>>
No. 373341 ID: 1413e6

>>373250
Second.
>>
No. 373380 ID: c7dc56

>>373338
Comrade Commissar and Comrade Minister of Propaganda would like to have a word with you in the ditch behind the house.
>>
No. 373386 ID: f46f0d

its times like these when i begin to wonder, "where the hell is the rest of my team?". anyway, another vote for >>373250, its not retreating, its "tactical remaneuvering".
>>
No. 373492 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132428199316.png - (8.30KB , 500x500 , sh93.png )
373492

>Give them another grenade

>"ff- GRENADE!"
>"SH--"
THOOM
>"Meier! F-fick..."
>[small]"He-he-- ach mein Gott--"
>>
No. 373493 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132428200679.png - (27.07KB , 500x500 , sh94.png )
373493

OW! I did not stick landing!
>>
No. 373495 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132428204187.png - (29.23KB , 500x500 , sh95.png )
373495

Okay! Am here! Nazis are not out of building yet but will be soon! I think fattest Nazi landed on grenade for them, too!

Am having Venerable Mosin-Nagant with five rounds! I am thinking I need to time shots perfectly, or Nazis will either stay in building or run away!
>>
No. 373499 ID: 1854db

One's poking his face through the window. Nail that mug.
>>
No. 373526 ID: c2c011

>>373495
One of them is looking outside to see if it's safe. Didn't you get two firebombs? If so then throw one of them so it lands right outside of the window to make an exit less likely. Otherwise I guess you will have to try to shoot him, the angle is kind of bad though.
>>
No. 373540 ID: 0583a2

shoot that dude without even looking at him.
>>
No. 373657 ID: 84b916

>>373526
Nah, throw that firebomb AT the window, so it hits the wall right under it.
That makes the window on fire as the flames climb upward.
>>
No. 374104 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132452098041.png - (22.23KB , 500x500 , sh96.png )
374104

> throw that firebomb AT the window
>"SCHEIßE SCHEIßE SCHEIßE SCHEIßE!"
>"Wir sind gefickt!"

Was good throw! I am now out of firebombs, and building is burning slow! I am thinking we are almost finished here!
>>
No. 374175 ID: c2c011

>>374104
Yeah they seem rather fucked. Just wait until it looks like they're all dead and then go and cash in on your glorious vodka.
>>
No. 374520 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132462768088.png - (39.06KB , 500x500 , sh97.png )
374520

>Just wait until it looks like they're all dead
Okay! I have not seen good fire since neighbor's grain house is burned down! Хорошая шоу!

Wait, I think I am seeing something! Is--
>>
No. 374522 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132462769435.png - (50.43KB , 500x500 , sh98.png )
374522

>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
No. 374525 ID: 1854db

>>374522
SHIT RUUUUUNNNN
>>
No. 374528 ID: 6a5a08

Scream 'NAZI ZOMBIES' and run around him.
>>
No. 374548 ID: f208e4

He just wants a hug. Hug him.
>>
No. 374555 ID: 453e62

grab arms, fall back, plant foot in gut, flip him.
>>
No. 374556 ID: 7c31d2

HUGS!
>>
No. 374559 ID: f31dfc

Knee to the groin. KNEE TO THE GROIN! Knee jerk reaction to knee him in the groin!
>>
No. 374567 ID: 4534ab

>>374559

Yes! Knee to the groin!
>>
No. 374597 ID: c2c011

>>374522
Front kick to the gut! Then pin him to the ground with your bayonett and go claim your vodka!
>>
No. 374600 ID: 437934

jump and spin backwards mid-air, kicking him under the chin before landing safely.
>>
No. 374627 ID: f46f0d

Grab the collar of his shirt and the waist of his pants and use his momentum to throw him over you as you duck underneath him.
>>
No. 374628 ID: d3ba29

Dispense thorough clobbering with the venerable yet sturdy Mosin-Nagant.
>>
No. 374826 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132470140826.png - (37.61KB , 500x500 , sh99.png )
374826

>flip him.
>use his momentum to throw him over you as you duck underneath him.
OKAY-OW!
>"AAAAAAAAAAAA-WHUH"
>>
No. 374827 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132470142079.png - (24.87KB , 500x500 , sh100.png )
374827

Ничего себе... Was very frightening. Burning Nazi was able to be landing hit on my face!

Nazi looks like is stunned by impact with ground! Also put out most of fire! I still have problem, Nazi is still moving!
>>
No. 374836 ID: 1854db

Make with stabbings.
>>
No. 374837 ID: 6a5a08

Stabby stabby kill kill kill
>>
No. 374859 ID: 32e092

Kick his head in.
>>
No. 374870 ID: c7dc56

Don't waste time getting up or turning over, squiggle on your back to him and grab his head. Then do an upside-down-on-your-back neck choke.
>>
No. 374872 ID: c2c011

>>374827
Stab the everliving fuck out of him!
>>
No. 374883 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132471218635.png - (35.12KB , 500x500 , sh101.png )
374883

>Make with stabbings.
Звучит хорошо! I am taking bayonet and moving to stab him before he moves. Flames have stopped, it seems Nazi wi-- oh
>>
No. 374913 ID: 1854db

Don't be where he's pointing that. By grappling if needed.
>>
No. 374914 ID: c2c011

>>374883
Knock it out of the way before he can shoot, try to dodge out of the line of fire while knocking it away. Then proceed with the stabbings.
>>
No. 374920 ID: 385f21

Are you left-handed?
>>
No. 374927 ID: 0d7a83

>>374883
Lord Monogut: Shoot gun out of hand.
>>
No. 374967 ID: c7dc56

Fall into him, locking his gun arm between your body and your left arm. Then grab his face and claw his eyes out.
>>
No. 374994 ID: 1413e6

>>374883
Michal Giacchino didn't survive the fire, did he...
*sigh* Fine, we'll go with Danny Elfman.
Anyway, freeze stock-still. Both of you should be breathing heavily. Then stab while pushing the gun away-
*Cheerful orchastra sound*
No, no, Danny, dramatic, not whimsical!
Hold on, OP. This might take a while...
>>
No. 375341 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132496865307.png - (33.49KB , 500x500 , sh102.png )
375341

>Knock it out of the way before he can shoot
>>
No. 375342 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132496869706.png - (25.33KB , 500x500 , sh103.png )
375342

>Then proceed with the stabbings.
>>
No. 375344 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132496873101.png - (15.77KB , 500x500 , sh104.png )
375344

…was very close.
>>
No. 375345 ID: 437934

meh.


vodka time!
>>
No. 375346 ID: be1879

So are we done here?
>>
No. 375358 ID: c2c011

>>375344
Seen closer. But now it's time for your heroic reward! VODKA!!! Run into the bar and demand it from him in a high voice!
>>
No. 375359 ID: 1854db

At least he didn't shoot your ear off.
>>
No. 375373 ID: c7dc56

Well better go round up the rest of the bodies and make sure they're dead too then.
>>
No. 375378 ID: 6af537

There's one more nazi pig in there, be careful.
>>
No. 375382 ID: c2c011

>>375373
>>375378
They're all dead and there is nothing to worry about. No way any of them are going to come back in the form of some sort of Super Nazi cyborg creation that can dual wield MG-42s and will hunt us to the edges of the world. That could never ever happen in a thousand years.
>>
No. 375393 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132497754813.png - (25.67KB , 500x500 , sh105.png )
375393

>So are we done here?
да, I am thinking so.

>Well better go round up the rest of the bodies and make sure they're dead too then.
Entire building is in flames. No Nazis got out.

>Vodka
да!

>"Ah, there you are, comrade. I was beginning to worry. I am seeing smoke from here, so I am assuming you are successful. Vodka is in back, through door, but before you drink it all, can you give me a hand with loading jeep?"

Sure thing, comrade!
>>
No. 375394 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132497756574.png - (12.05KB , 500x500 , sh106.png )
375394

>Later.
До свидания! Having good luck! Many thanks for vodka!
>>
No. 375395 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132497762917.png - (39.24KB , 500x500 , sh107.png )
375395

Хорошо! Today was very eventful! I am almost surprised nothing has gone wrong!

да, nothing has gone wrong at all.
>>
No. 375450 ID: 6a5a08

Joke's on the Nazis, their deathweapon was looking for a jeep.
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